Want to do with my Filipina Girlfriend

[Panksie]

Hello everyone,

I am a little embarrassed to be posting here because of my last two posts and reactions from last year.

At the time, I was stupid and involved with scammers and sadly, I did not learn from the first one and got involved with a second one.

Well, to be honest, after I arrived to the Philippines, I saw through the web lies of the second scammer, despite it costing some more money and ended up talking to one last scammer in Philippines.

It was kinda easy for me to fall for this lie because it was completely different and I was only in Philippines for 1 day with no understanding of anything.

The lie was that she wanted 5,000 pesos to come from Pampanga to Pasay, Manila to meet me.

I was a little skeptical at first and had her take a picture of her holding a sign to prove she is real. She did do that and I send the money only to see that she was a scammer too.

Ok, this may seem off topic, but, you will see how this adds to the topic.

Anyways, long story short, about 6 months ago, while I was talking to the first scammer, who went by the name Sherly Yap, a friend named Homer was trying to tell me that Sherly is a scammer due to her using model photos and asking for absurd high amount of money for Filipino standards. While talking to Homer, I saw one of his sisters Rica, who I found attractive from the pictures she taken, had nice brown skin, at the time, I only saw white skinned Filipinas and did not know that most were brown, and she has a petite figure, again, I did not know that many Filipina has petite figures. So, I did have interest in her, but, when I found out she was 10 years younger than me and still a virgin, I lost interest in her.

Me being 29, I wanted a woman closer to my age, with some life experience and well, a virgin woman is a bit of a turnoff for me.

So, being in the Philippines, for 2 days, still in Pasay, Manila, near the airport and steaming with frustration, Homer contacted me to see how I was doing and when I was telling him how I do not like Pasay, so, he invited me to live in his home in Laungcupang, Lapaz, Tarlac and told me that Rica is still interested in me.

So, I am thinking that because he is in the country area, which for some odd reason they call the country area the province, and with me down to only $1,350 in bank and 5,000 pesos in pocket, I could save some money, experience the Philippines and be still become established in penny stock trading and starting an online business. However, that was blessing and and stigma for me because my money ended up being exhausted in 20 days.

Here is the shocking part that many will laugh at. Rica was not the reason my money was exhausted. Sadly, I wish I would have believed the other posts people created about Pilipino.

Let me put it this way, after a week of living there, I was aware that Homer and a few other family members was just taking advantage of me courting Rica by not making conservative choices , wanting convenience, requesting unnecessary things they would not buy themselves and the list goes on.

Look, I know many of you are aware how bad some people in Philippines can be, especially when a female in the family has become the golden egg. So,it is needless to go on about the list.

So anyways, within 3 days of being in the Philippines, I meet Rica, and she really was the woman I seen on Facebook.

Ok, this is a bit off topic but adds to Homer's character, he waited til the day I meet Rica to say she don't speak English and it was later I figured out that if I had known that any sooner, I would have never wanted to meet her. In fact, during my entire stay, Homer has withheld information until the last minute.

Upon meeting her, she was shy, but after a little breaking in and a few dates, she started showing more of herself, which I like and respect.

Throughout the time of seeing her, I could see that she was sick that she want me for love, enjoyment and support. Which, I have no problem doing for a woman as long as she is sincere and I had to cross check her intentions and her feelings for me before I was to continue a relationship with her. Furthermore, I could see that she is very cautious and influenced greatly by her family. And here is one thing that had me to evaluate if I want to stay with Rica, is that she wants to wait to give herself to me after she finishes college and comes to America. Which, the family in her house in Amucao has asked me to pay for.

Some more things, I want to point out is that she has shown me her home multiple times.

I have come to believe that her old sister Angelica has an effect on her being so cautious and why her family in the house which is in Amucao, remember that I am in Laungcupang with Homer, Angelica, Chris, Junior who is the boyfriend of Angelica and father of 2 kids with Angelica with another one on the way, because Angelica had mutliple boyfriends with 4 children from previous boyfriends, never gone to college and not married.

I also do believe that having a broken family affects Rica too as Rica lives with her mother but the Father has a different wife in Binannongan.

So, within that month of being in the Philippines, going on dates with Rica and talking to her every day, she never once gave me bullshit, and with her wanting to wait so long before she gives herself to me, I literally tried to find any bullshit from Rica. I don't even have any bad gut feelings about her like I did with my first wife, Sherly Yap who is a scammer and Michelle Velez who is also a scammer. She never once gave me excuses even though we both know she is not in perfect health.

She is very direct with me and not afraid to speak her mind, which I like and respect about her.

Another thing, I did notice about her is that she waited a while before asking what happened in my past relationship. Something both scammers and my first wife had asked about in the very beginning.

To be honest, I am still courting her because her honesty and I genuinely feel an honest down to Earth relationship with her, despite the fact she knows I am still angry at her brother for being the main culprit of so much money being exhausted.

Because of her brother, I wanted to end the relationship multiple times. But lets put it this way, she has shown to genuinely care.

Such as the time, I got tired of taking Homer with me to Tarlac City because of reasons, I think many already understand, and chose to go alone, without telling anyone. She left me 13 messages within 2 hours, which I responded much later after I had returned to Laungcupang that day.

Then in another case, I got so angry at her brother, even with no money, I tried to quickly pack up my things and leave without a word. I even tried to break up with her because once I am angry I rather just keep away from all problems. And she was texting me asking what has she done to me.

Now, I am back in America and observing how she will be while I am away.

By the way, I am not stupid and aware that our time apart will not be easy and we will both have to face many challenges.

For right now, she still contacts me frequently.

I will be as real as day here. Even though I am black and overweight, I learned that even I can easily get a new woman in the Philippines. So, it is not like I don't know there are other options for me.

So it is like this, she is a good woman. She is reasonable when it comes to asking for help and never once gives excuses or play the guilt card with me. I enjoy her company and like her as a person, but, I am not crazy in love with her. I even told Homer and Rica that when I return, I will be living in Malate, Manila and visit her when she wants me to.

Even though Rica doesn't bullshit me, if I detect bullshit, I am going to cut ties with her in a heartbeat.

But, I still have a problem with knowing if she is serious about having me wait so long to share intimacy with her and when I return, how much longer will it have to be before we go on dates alone as I don't want to pay for her chaperones anymore.

However, when I return to Philippines, even though it is a bit wrong, I was thinking about having a casual girlfriend in Malate who will be my tour guide, give comfort and cook for me.

Ok, this was a long post, I am going to expect some whiplash because everyone is entitled to their opinion, but, should I keep Rica and see how our relationship develops while we are apart in America?

If things really go well while apart, when I do return, should I give more time to see where the relationship goes?

Although, I do feel a bit wronged with thinking of having a casual girlfriend on the side, should I do that so that it will resolve some of the frustrations?

[pete98146]

Hi Panskie,

Sounds like you are making all the classic mistakes that many foreign guys make when dealing with women in the Philippines. FYI, I am happily married to a lovely Filipina now for over 10 years and I've had good luck coaching a few guys on this site. My advice to guys in your situation never changes. Some on here get upset with me and say I'm too picky, unrealistic, old school etc. But hear me out. Here are some rock solid points to mull over:

1. Many foreign guys land in Philippines and immediately start chasing any cute girl that looks at them twice. This can be a recipe for disaster! First off, too many guys sell themselves short. Since you are an American, unless you act like a complete jackass, your market value is immediately on the high side. Don't forget this fact. Also, tons and tons of guys are interested in meeting Filipinas. Guess what? 80% never set foot in the country for various reasons. So the mere fact that you have visited Philippines gives you the upper hand. You are a catch! Use this fact to your advantage.

2. Stop chasing low hanging fruit and set yourself some standards!! Jeez I can't stress this enough. You want the mindset to meet the finest Philippines has to offer!

3. These low level girls (and their family members see you as nothing more than an ATM). Get that thru your head. Instead, try finding higher class women. They don't need to be 8's, 9's and 10's. Try to find a decent girl with a decent job. This way, she earns enough to send money back home without relying on you. See the difference? When I met my wife, she worked in sales for Haefle Corporation. While not rich, she made enough money to afford an apartment and send money back home. While I was courting her, she never asked for a dime. Many argue that these types of women are hard to find. They'll be harder to find but not impossible.

4. When choosing a woman to date in Philippines. Ask yourself a simple question. "Will she be an asset or a liability." If you feel she could be a liability to you...walk away.

5. Put yourself in a situation to meet higher class Filipinas. This means occasionally ditch the shorts, tshirt and flip flops. If you go out at night, throw on a button down shirt and wear some pants and a decent pair of shoes. Look neat and approachable. This and an American accent in hand, go talk to a few girls that you think are out of your league. Go flirt with girls that look like they work in an office. Set your sights MUCH higher than you current level. What's the worst that can happen? They say no? Who cares, move onto the next one. Man, there are thousands and thousand of cute women in Philippines. All it takes is one, right?

6. Elevate your level of woman and magically, most of the scams and desperate relatives disappear! It's almost like magic

Best of luck!

Pete in Seattle..

[Panksie]

Well, Pete, I give thanks to everyone for their input, but, Pete, despite how brutal your response is, I agree with much and I give many thanks to you.

Now, I already wrote much and want to just to just keep it simple as there really is little for me to say.

Your comment about ditching the t-shirt, shorts and flip-flops makes me want to laugh because I made sure I dressed to kill when I was there. I was getting much attention there in Philippines.

I can see why people can say you are picky, but, this is a country that has many women, more women then there are men.

[pete98146]

Well, Pete, I give thanks to everyone for their input, but, Pete, despite how brutal your response is, I agree with much and I give many thanks to you.

Now, I already wrote much and want to just to just keep it simple as there really is little for me to say.

Your comment about ditching the t-shirt, shorts and flip-flops makes me want to laugh because I made sure I dressed to kill when I was there. I was getting much attention there in Philippines.

I can see why people can say you are picky, but, this is a country that has many women, more women then there are men.

Thanks for the reply. I don't mean for any of this to be insulting or crass instead just a gentle nudge in the right direction Yes my views are a little picky but I just want others to have the same degree of happiness that I've experienced and I found that happiness using a certain philosophy.

Best of luck to you my friend!

[kruggerhead]

Pete is spot on, first off every Filipina you meet will eventually tell your their lola ( grandmother) is sick in the hospital and need money. Second if that doesn't work they will tell you, I have a problem but shy to tell you but then they tell you anyway. Its comical. That problem is always money but they will come up with a good story like their motorcycle got stolen so they need money for transportation. Bottom line is you can never ever meet a girl in Philippines for a week and think she is your new love. Most likely she will have a boyfriend, or a bby and never tell you because its being taken care of by her aunte in the province. If you want meet a nice girl go to the big malls and look for one that is dressed decent and ask her number. If your young handsome kid will be easy, if you are 100 pounds over weight dont get your hopes up, Most girls on dating sites like tinder, etc only need money and they will scam you forever. Unless you plan on living in Phillipines for a longer period of time I dont ever recommending getting a virtual girlfriend cause 99% of the time you will be let down in a hard way after she gets enough money and vanishes.

[Panksie]

Brutal reality indeed.

[publicduende]

Well, Pete, I give thanks to everyone for their input, but, Pete, despite how brutal your response is, I agree with much and I give many thanks to you.

Now, I already wrote much and want to just to just keep it simple as there really is little for me to say.

Your comment about ditching the t-shirt, shorts and flip-flops makes me want to laugh because I made sure I dressed to kill when I was there. I was getting much attention there in Philippines.

I can see why people can say you are picky, but, this is a country that has many women, more women then there are men.

Thanks for the reply. I don't mean for any of this to be insulting or crass instead just a gentle nudge in the right direction Yes my views are a little picky but I just want others to have the same degree of happiness that I've experienced and I found that happiness using a certain philosophy.

Best of luck to you my friend!

It's difficult to give a nudge in the right direction if where a road once was, there lies a brick wall

[davewe]

Hi Panskie,

Sounds like you are making all the classic mistakes that many foreign guys make when dealing with women in the Philippines. FYI, I am happily married to a lovely Filipina now for over 10 years and I've had good luck coaching a few guys on this site. My advice to guys in your situation never changes. Some on here get upset with me and say I'm too picky, unrealistic, old school etc. But hear me out. Here are some rock solid points to mull over:

1. Many foreign guys land in Philippines and immediately start chasing any cute girl that looks at them twice. This can be a recipe for disaster! First off, too many guys sell themselves short. Since you are an American, unless you act like a complete jackass, your market value is immediately on the high side. Don't forget this fact. Also, tons and tons of guys are interested in meeting Filipinas. Guess what? 80% never set foot in the country for various reasons. So the mere fact that you have visited Philippines gives you the upper hand. You are a catch! Use this fact to your advantage.

2. Stop chasing low hanging fruit and set yourself some standards!! Jeez I can't stress this enough. You want the mindset to meet the finest Philippines has to offer!

3. These low level girls (and their family members see you as nothing more than an ATM). Get that thru your head. Instead, try finding higher class women. They don't need to be 8's, 9's and 10's. Try to find a decent girl with a decent job. This way, she earns enough to send money back home without relying on you. See the difference? When I met my wife, she worked in sales for Haefle Corporation. While not rich, she made enough money to afford an apartment and send money back home. While I was courting her, she never asked for a dime. Many argue that these types of women are hard to find. They'll be harder to find but not impossible.

4. When choosing a woman to date in Philippines. Ask yourself a simple question. "Will she be an asset or a liability." If you feel she could be a liability to you...walk away.

5. Put yourself in a situation to meet higher class Filipinas. This means occasionally ditch the shorts, tshirt and flip flops. If you go out at night, throw on a button down shirt and wear some pants and a decent pair of shoes. Look neat and approachable. This and an American accent in hand, go talk to a few girls that you think are out of your league. Go flirt with girls that look like they work in an office. Set your sights MUCH higher than you current level. What's the worst that can happen? They say no? Who cares, move onto the next one. Man, there are thousands and thousand of cute women in Philippines. All it takes is one, right?

6. Elevate your level of woman and magically, most of the scams and desperate relatives disappear! It's almost like magic

Best of luck!

Pete in Seattle..

I followed Pete's advise, except I could never get myself to ditch the shorts

[Panksie]

Guys, thank you so much for the advice, I found out the the entire Tiro family is indeed a crooked. Everything you said is true. Even about the person having another boyfriend in a different barangay.