I would have never thought...

[gsjackson]

Oh well, we're all screwed then. But I'm almost a quarter century older than you, and I guarantee you if I saw that Liza Soberano in person I would be on her like a cheap suit (assuming her body was acceptable), until she either relented or called the police. Wow.

I'm not one to tell you to lower your standards. Aim high. Let DNA tell you who to go for. People (of whom women are a subset, which may come as a surprise to some) want all kinds of different things. A lot of them want you. When you find one you'll realize the absurdity of your generalizations about age being totally dispositive. You're quite liable not to find one of them, though, if you keep moping around and instructing the fates about what they can and cannot deliver up.

I don't know, Mr Jackson, I don't know. There seems to be quite a bit of complacency on the theme of getting laid in the Philippines. Many of us, those who have never been down here, busk in the dream of eventually going there and diving in p***y for a few days or weeks, before going back to their grim suburban existence. A smaller subset, those who come over here to find solace, do get abundantly laid with bottom feeders and that's enough for them to have the time of their lives and tell the world what a Paradise the Philippines are.

The few who are serious about finding a top quality girl are, well, very few and far apart. Those I know, at least here in Davao, are with dark skinned not-to-smart and unattractive (at least by Pinoy standards) ladies. They are contented with who they found, basically. On the very rare sight of the occasional hot Pinay with a foreigner, almost exclusively in Abreeza (the most elegant mall in Davao, the equivalent of Greenbelt in Manila and Ayala in Cebu), the foreigner is always a hunky guy who would probably find hot girls anywhere in the world.

A lot of them want "us"...but are those the ones we would want back? So far all the ones who wanted me and I was with, be it one hour or 2 months, were never meant to be long-term relationships. Yes, it makes you happy and soothes you ego at the beginning. As soon as you lose your appetite for the quantity and look for quality, that's when the trouble starts. Once you ignore the vast bottom - the desperate and destitute, the single mom looking for support, the seasoned separated woman looking for fun, the brainy yet fugly who feels insecure - and aim for the top, that's where you find very little air to breathe.

Jesus, how many ways do I have to try to say it: You're not a category, defined by age, or whatever, you're an individual with a unique story, which will appeal to a lot of quality women (and only high quality women) as long as you don't let a bad attitude f*ck it up.

But to revert to my original point: If you truly don't believe what you're looking for is where you are, go someplace else. If coming to the Philippines was a matter of aiming low -- going somewhere you think the women would have low enough standards to accept you -- then you came for the wrong reason, and with the wrong mind set.

[Kradmelder]

why on earth would I go to the Phillipines for women when I can find decent white one here? I would never do brown anyway.

Yes I am sure about it because I know quite few decent women. And I don't mean pump and dump, although that is available as well. I would not look for early 20s. That is close to my daughter's age, so why would I want to do that? At 42, it would be a woman that can be your daughter. And you still wonder why they run?

Of course dude, I did not ask you to come over here. I just need you to understand that you can't judge until you at least know the kind of women you could find here.

In the UK or US or Italy or Germany it's quite possible to find very decent, good looking (and well maintained), unmarried women in their mid or late 30s who are well educated, with an interesting personality, hobbies and readings, the whole lot. You might be able to catch them after they split up and ready to move on. If they are really quality, there will be competition and that's where (at least in part) I agree with you: for a quality lady, a man has to take out his fangs and balls and show her that he is not the best choice, but the only choice for her. Masculine pride and all that.

Now, move your ass over here if you care and you will see something different.

Whether they're dirt poor, middle class or business royalty, whether they are 2-year diploma college drop-outs or PhD holders, whether their ambitions are to stick to a man for support or build the next big start-up thing and make a billionaire exit...all Filipinas are naturally groomed to be wives and mothers. And they will be one and/or the other very soon, in fact as soon as they can.

This means that, if you look at the age range that you think would be suitable for a man my age (or yours), the mid to late 30s, you will see that virtually ALL of these women are married and certainly with kids. Like I said before, Filipinas would rather not be married or never have a serious relationship again, than give up their motherhood. This makes it very, very hard to find quality women who tick all the boxes in the brains and looks departments and yet, as if by some obscure twist of fate, are single, never married, with no kids and...waiting for you!

Add to the mix that divorce does not exist and its equivalent here, annulment, is lengthy and expensive to obtain. And top up with a powerful adultery law (http://ndvlaw.com/how-to-sue-your-wife- ... ilippines/) that favours the man, so the cheated party in my hypothetical relationship with the woman. You will see that it's not so advisable to go for women who are married.

LOL if you think I am bronze-faced by saying I am divorced instead of separated, you should see the massive number of women who puts themselves back into the dating market telling everybody that they're single, when they're in fact still married - with no mutually agreed closure (annulment) in sight. Filipinos know this and consider them single by all means. My former secretary is 30 and a mom of 5 (!), still married to an asshole husband and yet was able to land another married man, a father of 1, who is in Manila and quite well off.

This means...you got it. I am not looking for 20-something girls because I am a perv or have a fetish for young(er) flesh. I am painfully aware that most of them will be too immature for me, and that is in fact it's one of the main reasons why I write them off so quickly for a long term relationship.

I am looking for girls in their mid to late 20s because that's the borderline age where I can still hope to find them unmarried with no kids. Again, a tall order, yet maybe possible. I have no kids and I am not ready to be an insta-daddy, especially knowing that support will be immediately on me unless mom has a good job (she almost never has). I don't want to have trouble with husbands who will sue me for adultery knowing I am a Kano, therefore capable to shell out cash, so I try to avoid married women for anything more than the occasional fling.

So this brings me where I am now. I hope I won't have to repeat myself on this, especially to refute the meaner of your accusations. Mention something about me liking 'em young because I am loser or something once more, and you'll go straight into my ignore list.

if this is the case, as it exists, or as you say it is for you, that only the very young are suitable there, and no decent ones exist in an older bracket, why stay there? you admit you find decent ones with no kids in europe, why not go back to europe? Why do you want to be in a place where no woman suits you and you are unhappy?

Quality ladies are available if you are quality yourself. Only the very young go for bad boys, but they outgrow it. The good ones outgrow it before becoming a single mom or a slut.

[publicduende]

Rock I 'll be brief on this, as it's stuff we either already discuss, or we can discussed next time I'm in Makati.

I've been in touch with Duende from time to time on what's app or occasionally in person. Our most recent exchanges happened just a few days ago. Here are some observations:

1. Sometimes I can be a bit superstitious and perhaps find patterns where they may or may not truly exist. After all, personal anecdotes on a given theme or subject are hard put to reach a statistically significant number of trials. But still, I sometimes feel or even sense that after meeting or chatting with him about this whole adult foreigners and Filipinas topic, I myself suffer some bad luck or at least I become more skeptical and less hopeful about my own lot in the Philippines. Yet if I examine my own track record as an adult foreigner in the Philippines over the last few years, I can only be very grateful about the abundance and quality of local girls who have come my way. I've travelled and expated enough to recognized these last 3+ years for me has been a case of high dating and mating arbitrage.

That's good for you, i am happy for you. This has not been my overall experience. Reasons?
1) You're in Makati, I am in Davao.
2) You wake up and can explore the world, chase girls and make your observations. I wake up (if I do sleep at all) and have to think how to please a client or keep this business afloat. I know, it's 100% self-inflicted pain. But the music's still on, so we've got to keep on dancing.

2. Indeed, I've offered to show Duende evidence via photos of many different girls and documentation of my history. Yet he doesn't seem to be much interested in that. He just shakes his head and either assumes that I only go for girls too fat to be considered attractive by mainstream standards or else that he would not be able to get the same.

He knows that I strongly favor local girls with uni education, taller, lighter skinned, non-smoking, young or youthful, able to communicate well in English, of good character and values, not overly materialistic, and last but not least, without children. While I do go for curves and some of the girls I'm into are significantly overweight, others are still very much within mainstream tastes here. He also knows that I am not fixated on the 0.01% elite category the way he seems to be sometimes. The true elite comprises a population of less than 10,000 whereas the expanding middle and upper middle class consists of many millions of Filipinos.

I never meant to discredit your choice of girls, or your ability to cherry-pick them. I am just pointing out that, in terms of physical tastes, you tend to go for the opposite edge of curvy as standard Filipinos would go. On the education part, we're in total agreement. Yet, as discussed many times over coffee or steak, I am not finding it easy to lock into well-educated girls who are still single (no kids) here in Davao. Again, location and time might be against me. I wish I could test myself over there, if I had a chance.

And once again, I am not fixated with the elite! I just want somebody who had a decent education, which at least here is a surefire proxy of being smart, well-spoken/read and ambitious.

3. Some things about him confuse me. Last time we met up, he pointed out a couple girls walking by he considered off limits to him and other similar foreigners. Yet these girls were fairly plain and even had apparent physical flaws. But then on another recent occasion, he shows up at the same Starbucks with a very presentable local Uber driver he had chatted up on the ride over and scored an insta date with. As I recall, she was well spoken, had her own car, had good educational background and career, was not at all dark or native looking, had no kids, and was of normal height. When I asked him why he didn't follow up with her, he mumbled something about her being too old (like late 20s) or not attractive enough. Duende do you realize that the upper end of millennial zone you often complain about is already 35?

I am still texting with that particular girl from time to time. I think we just lost the momentum to meet. I frankly didn't find her sexy. She was cute, but I didn't fancy her. Is that a sin?

When I say millennials I mean mid to late 20s. Not making a split-hair distinction here. It's more of a socio-cultural notion than an age one.

He's also met Winston's friend Luisa who has almost Korean shaded skin, is fairly tall with a very nice figure, is not materialistic, down to earth, decent (though not elite style) conversation skills, is top of her class at the small school she studies in, is late 20s, no kids, and would be open to date someone like him. Her main flaw is that her face, while cute, has some visible asymmetry and a mole, the former of which could be corrected with Korean 2 jaw surgery and the latter an easy fix with a quick visit to a local derm. I might have introduced him to another one of Winston's friends too but zboy already snapped her up lol. Anyway, I doubt Duende would have been interested.

LOL hang on a minute, this is a low blow. If you have to tell the tale, say it straight. I was with another girl when we met up with you and Luisa. I liked her, at least personality wise she was OK. I would have fought a war to be with her, but she wasn't that bad. I was with someone else...what did you expect me to do, openly flirt with her?

The fact I am not following up with a girl doesn't mean I absolutely abhorred her. Women here and anywhere in the world know the man has to put 90% of the courting effort. It's an investment, and I am not making an investment just for the sake of scoring another notch or proving a point. You do have a point, though, that Manila is replete with girls worth me making an effort, compared to those I have seen/met in Davao.

Finally, just a couple nights ago, I was having a What's App chat both with a professionally employed, wealthy, and well educated Chinoy friend in Cebu and Duende. I sent her his picture and she was also surprised that he struggles so much with dating here. He specifically asked whether any of her 20 something colleagues would be interested in dating a foreigner like him at his age. She answered emphatically, "yes". When I relayed that to Duende, he just said that every time he was ever introduced to anyone, she turned out to be unattractive.

Is he very picky? It seems so. But why does he sometimes point out very ordinary looking girls like he did that time in the mall? Does he have an obsession with elite society here? Probably. Was his previous partner a beauty queen, Rhodes scholar, his true soulmate, best friend, or in some other way gifted? Is he using her as a benchmark for finding his new love? Only Public can answer that.

I actually liked your Chinoy friend, judging from the one pic you sent me. And you did not introduce her to me

I pointed out that very ordinary looking girl in the mall as a specimen of someone I would like to date, and not based on beauty (of course she wasn't flawless) but on the fact that, the way she was dressed and walked, the kind of guy who was with her, she was probably a well-educated girl with interesting things to share and a job that wouldn't make a leech, like so many I met here.

I like pretty girl, but intelligence, ambition and an open mind take priority. Unfortunately, all the irresistibly smart girls I met (in Davao) were very resistible in the look department

4. It may very well be true that the playing field is in moving against us 'adult foreigners' in the Philippines. As I told Duende, I have not been very active on dating sites for something like 18 months now. I've either gone the referral route or been w a serious gf as of late. But still, based on my previous points, I think there is more going on than a crumbling dating environment. It appears a big part of the the problem is due to Duende's luck, beliefs, attitude, and actions.

It is, indeed it is my friend! I am sorry (to myself and for myself), but this is the most I can muster given my time and stress situation.

5. I understand that initially, he saw his business plan as having some synergy with his dating goals here. Yet it's turning out that his business is nothing but a big distraction.

Finding and winning over a significantly younger and attractive life partner when you are at mid-life stage will likely require not only great luck but also laser focus, patience, and consistent plus smart effort. On the flip side, building a profitable professional business from scratch in the Philippines as a westerner is one of the most stressful, time consuming, and prone to failure activities I can imagine.

I've run into quite a few white foreigners here who are trying to create one sort of business or another. Some of them have been here for over a decade already and even speak good Tagalog. But the stories remain similar. Many have been waiting for that big deal, major break, or last regulatory approval right around the corner for years now. So many are seriously strapped for cash and already lost large sums of money here.

Philippines is still not a place where the overall climate and vibe will allow you to come in and create a sustainable and profitable business. It's like trying to plug holes in a boat while new holes keep appearing and some of the plugs you've already put in place are being undone. That just seems to be way things operate here. Getting things done and making things work are not part of the collective will. The more time I spend here, the more apparent that becomes.

Much better IMO for Duende is to keep things simple. Work for yourself making first world income in a place like SP and hunt for a wife in places like Phils, Vietnam, Indonesia, etc.

What if I told you that it's the Filipino component of my clientele that might save the company? That guy you met in front of Starbucks, he already gave me 2M+ worth of projects in my hands, and that's just for starters. Nothing is set in stone yet and it's still pretty much a daily struggle and a daily emotional rollercoaster that borders on the physical nausea, but I see things are moving faster here than in the UK.

Don't want to sound like Starchild but what if I told you that maybe, just maybe, these are all stars aligning for the Philippines. About Singapore, I have sent a few CVs around and there isn't much around, I have yet to receive a single sign of life from them recruiters.

A couple of months I spoke to a couple of represenatives of the Monetary Authority of Singapore, their central bank. These are PhD educated bespectacled Chinese, not MLM salesman on an ego trip. And yet, neither of them could contain some genuine praise and excitement for the favourable economic conditions that will propel the Philippines forward and facilitate all sorts of projects, including IT, being initiated by government and private entities.

This says nothing about my business being sustainable or not, it may well fail next month for what I know, which means I'll be finally free to test some of you guys' theories about me and the girls I can meet.

But again, I need to keep going. Believe me, 90% of the problems with this business have nothing to do with the fact it's in the Philippines and all to do with the fact it's a start-up business.

6. Where there's a will, there's a way. Get strong, stand up, and keep up the fight. Be patient in the face of bad luck and stop surrendering to counterproductive beliefs. Give your business a reasonable but firm deadline and if it doesn't come through, cut your losses while you still can find well paid employment as an IT professional in the first world.

That is, more or less, what I can do. Nothing more, nothing less. Thanks for the encouragement. Always happy to talk this (and more) over beer.

[gsjackson]

at Krad's post - but the good intention is there, it comes in an iron fist. Sometimes that's whats needed.

But what would you expect if one of your upstanding, upper class Filipino young men who seems to have the pick of the women you want was to go to Italy and demand that he only wanted the upper class, single beauties who go to the University of Pisa/Florence/Milan....

You'd laugh at him, because he wouldn't stand much of a chance, even if he could speak fluent Italian.

So, you need to reel down what you want, I know it isn't what you want and you think it's a compromise but it isn't really - I mean, what's your social standing in Italy? If you are middle class in Italy yourself and your parents work in a bank or are clerical staff - why would it be so much of a compromise for you to date a (trainee or graduated) nurse? There are tons of nursing students in the Philippines who would make a good wife.

Going for the cream of any society is going to end in failure for the vast majority of foreigners. Just like if any foreigner went to Italy to get their creme de la creme.

And he is still married at that. Yet thinks that in a Catholic country a decent young woman would settle for a married middle aged man because marriage is just a technicality With this fairy tale, he believes he is the one who sees reality and everyone else is in lala land

I am still surprised no filipino father has shot him, which would be well deserved if some middle aged married man were chasing your virgin young daughter.

Yet we are supposed to feel sorry for him I am too busy laughing at how ridiculous it sounds. Adama had him pegged.

Just a hypothetical situation here Krad, but just imagine you had an Italian immigrant down at the shooting club or the local rotary club, some dude, he's all right, but he is 42 and middle aged, and he started asking you and the other okes about your single daughters and nieces in their twenties and if you could make an introduction for him to them - how would it go down with you and your buddies, especially when you find out he's married (and he has been pomping half the girls in the squatter camp outside of town where all the white trash live...)

You guys always want to think in terms of categories, rather than individuals, and reduce individuals to the categories. When I was 44, I told a fellow handball player that his 16 year old daughter had the most beautiful face I'd ever seen. Didn't expect anything to come of it, but at the next tournament the wife and daughter show up, check me out, and soon enough the four of us are going on regular "double dates." The father told me I could date her normally when she turned 18. These people were far from trailer trash. He was a doctor, and they owned very upmarket condos on Conn. Ave. in D.C. and at the Watergate.

The girl and I eventually figured out that we didn't have enough in common, and it became clear that I needed an older woman with some life experience. But it goes to show that how I was situated in life as an individual was the dispositive factor in her availability, not my membership in some generic category that applies to everyone, such as age. It should probably be mentioned that the guy and I were members of the same subculture -- handball players -- where I was not just validated, but royalty. If you can find such a subculture, especially one where you can stand out, it's always a good fishing hole.

[droid]

^^Haha in your faceeee mf*rs

[Rock]

at Krad's post - but the good intention is there, it comes in an iron fist. Sometimes that's whats needed.

But what would you expect if one of your upstanding, upper class Filipino young men who seems to have the pick of the women you want was to go to Italy and demand that he only wanted the upper class, single beauties who go to the University of Pisa/Florence/Milan....

You'd laugh at him, because he wouldn't stand much of a chance, even if he could speak fluent Italian.

So, you need to reel down what you want, I know it isn't what you want and you think it's a compromise but it isn't really - I mean, what's your social standing in Italy? If you are middle class in Italy yourself and your parents work in a bank or are clerical staff - why would it be so much of a compromise for you to date a (trainee or graduated) nurse? There are tons of nursing students in the Philippines who would make a good wife.

Going for the cream of any society is going to end in failure for the vast majority of foreigners. Just like if any foreigner went to Italy to get their creme de la creme.

And he is still married at that. Yet thinks that in a Catholic country a decent young woman would settle for a married middle aged man because marriage is just a technicality With this fairy tale, he believes he is the one who sees reality and everyone else is in lala land

I am still surprised no filipino father has shot him, which would be well deserved if some middle aged married man were chasing your virgin young daughter.

Yet we are supposed to feel sorry for him I am too busy laughing at how ridiculous it sounds. Adama had him pegged.

Just a hypothetical situation here Krad, but just imagine you had an Italian immigrant down at the shooting club or the local rotary club, some dude, he's all right, but he is 42 and middle aged, and he started asking you and the other okes about your single daughters and nieces in their twenties and if you could make an introduction for him to them - how would it go down with you and your buddies, especially when you find out he's married (and he has been pomping half the girls in the squatter camp outside of town where all the white trash live...)

You guys always want to think in terms of categories, rather than individuals, and reduce individuals to the categories. When I was 44, I told a fellow handball player that his 16 year old daughter had the most beautiful face I'd ever seen. Didn't expect anything to come of it, but at the next tournament the wife and daughter show up, check me out, and soon enough the four of us are going on regular "double dates." The father told me I could date her normally when she turned 18. These people were far from trailer trash. He was a doctor, and they owned very upmarket condos on Conn. Ave. in D.C. and at the Watergate.

The girl and I eventually figured out that we didn't have enough in common, and it became clear that I needed an older woman with some life experience. But it goes to show that how I was situated in life as an individual was the dispositive factor in her availability, not my membership in some generic category that applies to everyone, such as age. It should probably be mentioned that the guy and I were members of the same subculture -- handball players -- where I was not just validated, but royalty. If you can find such a subculture, especially one where you can stand out, it's always a good fishing hole.

Interesting. But your case is a bit extreme lol. I know another guy who used to post occasionally on this forum who has developed some profile and status in the global vegan/new age world. He's gaunt and looks perhaps even older than his age which is already many years senior to Duende. While most mainstream young girls are not gonna give him the time of day whether in Taiwan or say E. Europe, I know that there is a subset who are into him. I saw it happen personally in Taiwan with an attractive and sexy late 20s local girl and from what he told me, he had some great luck in both Poland and Ukraine with early 20s hotties just a few months ago.

[Rock]

Duende,

1. Luisa and the Uber driver are both more attractive than those 2 'specimens' you pointed out at the mall and I doubt they are any lower class or less educated. Your eyesight is ok, right? Do you need them to be on the arm of an acceptable Filipino in order to be validated in your mind?

And if you really wanted to follow up with Luisa, all you had to do was ask me to arrange it. As the man, you should make the first move. Same goes for the Chinoy. Are they supposed to approach you?

2. I hear you on your story about the all the contracts in the pipeline and the big Filipino economic miracle right around the corner. In fact, I've been hearing that kinda talk in various corners for quite awhile now. If you lived around Burgos, you'd here about much bigger deals too lol. But, did the guy actually put any cold hard cash in your hand? Has anything materialized in terms of producing real money? I mean in the UK, your bank account was growing by many thousands of Great British Pounds every month, right? As for Phils, believe it when it happens. This place can absolutely kill your patience and eat away your life if timelines, follow-through, and getting paid mean anything to you. If Philippines has so far been the one cog in your global business that hasn't caused any issues, just wait, see, and hope that all the luck you missed out on dating your hiso friend's daughters materializes on the local business front.

Here's the thing. Even if the Philippines does emerge as so many expect, it may be a very rocky, risky, and time consuming ride. Back in the day, I knew many Taiwanese business people who lost their real estate, life savings, money from their relatives and friends, etc. chasing the Chinese economic miracle. It seemed to become much more doable from around maybe 2005 give or take. Much before that, it was really the wild wild east. Even though Taiwanese knew the main language and came from same ethnic background, the mainland Chinese, often with the aid of local government officials, screwed them left, right, and center. I used to date a girl whose family took all their wealth to Tianjin. Everything looked promising for the first 2-3 years but they ended up getting slowly swindled (death by a 1,000 cuts style) by local officials while their mainland business partners and associates commenced at the most opportune time to threaten them with grave physical harm if they didn't get out of dodge sans all their invested capital and assets.

[davewe]

Just one clarification, Dave. I am not clinically depressed. I am perfectly fine and able to function to the best of my abilities, including meeting people (lots of people!).

My sadness is more of a background noise. I am obviously using this forum as an outlet because I know there are plenty of people, just like you, who are able to understand and advise me. I am taking good advantage of the camaraderie and kindness of many HA members and, believe me, that I do profoundly appreciate, beyond any bunch of words that could be written here, in anonymity.

Yes I agree with you, it's about me, not about the girls. I can't change the shape of a country just because I want it. The kinds of young women I would like to pursue are a very scarce commodity and I constantly fail to compromise.

I don't know you and even if I did I am not expert enough to diagnose clinical depression. But you said you were depressed and that had come through in your other recent postings. Obsession and depression are often 2 sides of the same coin. So whether you are just garden variety sad/depressed or clinically depressed I still believe that your admission was positive. Now the question is what to do about it. Some guys have friends who can help them pull out of a funk and some guys seek professional assistance. If someone does the latter it is not an admission that there is a clinical problem, just that sometimes we all need someone to provide an objective perspective.

[publicduende]

if this is the case, as it exists, or as you say it is for you, that only the very young are suitable there, and no decent ones exist in an older bracket, why stay there? you admit you find decent ones with no kids in europe, why not go back to europe? Why do you want to be in a place where no woman suits you and you are unhappy?

Quality ladies are available if you are quality yourself. Only the very young go for bad boys, but they outgrow it. The good ones outgrow it before becoming a single mom or a slut.

I am tied to this place, Krad. I have a business here, and it's not a mobile business. Between me and my partner, there are $150K+ invested here. We have a 142 sqm office fully fitted out, we have 12 people on the payroll, all full-time. We have several clients and at least $350K of projected receivables based on signed-off or nearing-sign-off contracts.

Maybe everything will crash and burn in a few weeks, but we have to soldier on. Given your "iron fist", won't you agree that going ahead with conviction despite all odds is a sign of a man's character?

Women-wise, I will suck it up for now. Soon enough I will have time to go to Cebu to date Rock's Chinoy friend, or to Makati. When, I do not know.

[publicduende]

Duende,

1. Luisa and the Uber driver are both more attractive than those 2 'specimens' you pointed out at the mall and I doubt they are any lower class or less educated. Your eyesight is ok, right? Do you need them to be on the arm of an acceptable Filipino in order to be validated in your mind?

And if you really wanted to follow up with Luisa, all you had to do was ask me to arrange it. As the man, you should make the first move. Same goes for the Chinoy. Are they supposed to approach you?

Honestly I vaguely remember how all of the people above look like. The girl I pointed you at the steak house was nothing special, it was just a quick way to let you understand that I like girls with class. She looked classy, and she wasn't bad looking. The Uber driver wasn't too bad, she was very chinita looking if I remember well. Yet, there was no sparkle, so I left it like that.

Actually that's not a bad point: being on the arm of a decent-looking Filipino could be one way to assess her quality. Maybe not...but maybe so.

Luisa and your Chinoy friend...I would prefer your Chinoy friend. Can you PM or WhatsApp me her FB, palihug?

2. I hear you on your story about the all the contracts in the pipeline and the big Filipino economic miracle right around the corner. In fact, I've been hearing that kinda talk in various corners for quite awhile now. If you lived around Burgos, you'd here about much bigger deals too lol. But, did the guy actually put any cold hard cash in your hand? Has anything materialized in terms of producing real money? I mean in the UK, your bank account was growing by many thousands of Great British Pounds every month, right? As for Phils, believe it when it happens. This place can absolutely kill your patience and eat away your life if timelines, follow-through, and getting paid mean anything to you. If Philippines has so far been the one cog in your global business that hasn't caused any issues, just wait, see, and hope that all the luck you missed out on dating your hiso friend's daughters materializes on the local business front.

Here's the thing. Even if the Philippines does emerge as so many expect, it may be a very rocky, risky, and time consuming ride. Back in the day, I knew many Taiwanese business people who lost their real estate, life savings, money from their relatives and friends, etc. chasing the Chinese economic miracle. It seemed to become much more doable from around maybe 2005 give or take. Much before that, it was really the wild wild east. Even though Taiwanese knew the main language and came from same ethnic background, the mainland Chinese, often with the aid of local government officials, screwed them left, right, and center. I used to date a girl whose family took all their wealth to Tianjin. Everything looked promising for the first 2-3 years but they ended up getting slowly swindled (death by a 1,000 cuts style) by local officials while their mainland business partners and associates commenced at the most opportune time to threaten them with grave physical harm if they didn't get out of dodge sans all their invested capital and assets.

It's worth risking. The economy is booming and traditional players are lagging behind. There is investment money, in fact more investment money that companies to invest on. Plus I am having the luck to connect with people with powerful connections. I am in no illusion they will introduce me their single upper class friends any time soon. But heck, I want to prove them that when it comes to IT projects for their start-ups or daddies' conglomerates, I am the IT development equivalent of Channing Tatum meet Rocco Siffredi!

[publicduende]

Just one clarification, Dave. I am not clinically depressed. I am perfectly fine and able to function to the best of my abilities, including meeting people (lots of people!).

My sadness is more of a background noise. I am obviously using this forum as an outlet because I know there are plenty of people, just like you, who are able to understand and advise me. I am taking good advantage of the camaraderie and kindness of many HA members and, believe me, that I do profoundly appreciate, beyond any bunch of words that could be written here, in anonymity.

Yes I agree with you, it's about me, not about the girls. I can't change the shape of a country just because I want it. The kinds of young women I would like to pursue are a very scarce commodity and I constantly fail to compromise.

I don't know you and even if I did I am not expert enough to diagnose clinical depression. But you said you were depressed and that had come through in your other recent postings. Obsession and depression are often 2 sides of the same coin. So whether you are just garden variety sad/depressed or clinically depressed I still believe that your admission was positive. Now the question is what to do about it. Some guys have friends who can help them pull out of a funk and some guys seek professional assistance. If someone does the latter it is not an admission that there is a clinical problem, just that sometimes we all need someone to provide an objective perspective.

Take it as a compliment if you want, but your perspective is the best thing I could receive right now.

[Zambales]

This means that, if you look at the age range that you think would be suitable for a man my age (or yours), the mid to late 30s, you will see that virtually ALL of these women are married and certainly with kids.

I'm of a similar age to you, and the FIRST Pinay I've met romantically in that specific age range you mentioned is unmarried and has no kids!

so I try to avoid married women for anything more than the occasional fling.

And what if the husband finds out? Is it worth spending the best part of the decade rotting away in a sh1thole of a prison or risk being popped off by jilted Jose or one of his acquaintances? The rules are different over there and a persons life is cheap. You should know that by now.

I think you're your own worst enemy, Duende, embroiled in a clusterfeck of confusion unable to locate the exit.

[publicduende]

This means that, if you look at the age range that you think would be suitable for a man my age (or yours), the mid to late 30s, you will see that virtually ALL of these women are married and certainly with kids.

I'm of a similar age to you, and the FIRST Pinay I've met romantically in that specific age range you mentioned is unmarried and has no kids!

Good for you. Did you actually meet her, or you're talking to her online. Careful about those white lies...

And what if the husband finds out? Is it worth spending the best part of the decade rotting away in a sh1thole of a prison or risk being popped off by jilted Jose or one of his acquaintances? The rules are different over there and a persons life is cheap. You should know that by now.

I think you're your own worst enemy, Duende, embroiled in a clusterfeck of confusion unable to locate the exit.

Well, that's why I just said I avoid those women! Where is the confusion? I know what is my worst enemy right now...my pride, which makes me refuse to give up on this business. It's painful, I can't hide it. It's excruciating.

I have just landed in Manila, back to Davao tonight, didn't catch any sleep as I had a long session on project specs with a London client. On the plane there was a really cute Filipina, fantastic sexy body, with the usual huge, overweight, balding American guy. My weapons of mass envy all locked in, ready to fire, when I started to observe what she had on: latest model of Nike Air, Samsung Galaxy S7, digital watch...designer bag. I smirked...and I wasn't happy for either that poor guy or myself.

I know it's pathetic, but at least I am finding solace in your advice, or compassion. I'll end up the nadir or Will N Dowd, showing off how much not a God I am in the Philippines

[starchild5]

Don't want to sound like Starchild but what if I told you that maybe, just maybe, these are all stars aligning for the Philippines. About Singapore, I have sent a few CVs around and there isn't much around, I have yet to receive a single sign of life from them recruiters.

A couple of months I spoke to a couple of represenatives of the Monetary Authority of Singapore, their central bank. These are PhD educated bespectacled Chinese, not MLM salesman on an ego trip. And yet, neither of them could contain some genuine praise and excitement for the favourable economic conditions that will propel the Philippines forward and facilitate all sorts of projects, including IT, being initiated by government and private entities.

Well, Philippines already took India as the number 1 call center destination in the world few years back when everyone thought it was impossible.

The Philippines has become the call-center capital of the world

http://www.latimes.com/business/la-fi-p ... story.html

I had worked in Call Center in India and on my very first trips a decade back, I only needed to meet few filipinos to know ...They will overtake us...Their command of english, discipline, knowledge of American culture was far ahead of India. They will overtake us in BPO too...matter of time..

With Duterte's Economic push...People would not believe this but now there is acute shortage of construction labors in Philippines to build all that bridges, roads and private sectors mad push to build condos and offices all over the country.

Who would have thought this day would come in Philippines ????

Private construction hit by worker shortage

http://www.philstar.com/business/2016/1 ... r-shortage

This will become obvious by end of this year when most of Duterte's infrastructure plan is brought to the ground.

Gov’t to spend P8 trillion for infrastructure projects

http://newsinfo.inquirer.net/840955/gov ... e-projects

That's close to 150 billion dollars on first budget alone... ..For an island of 100 mil...it's a LOT OF MONEY.

------------

I think you should stick to the Philippines for business...with the way Philippines is exploding...that million dollar contract is just around the corner. You will do well with any business in Philippines...I'm sure about it.

I don't how much you will succeed in finding your dream girl in Philippines as you can read from my past post but I'M VERY SURE 1000% that you will be very successful in your business venture in Philippines.

[yick]

'On the plane there was a really cute Filipina, fantastic sexy body, with the usual huge, overweight, balding American guy. My weapons of mass envy all locked in, ready to fire, when I started to observe what she had on: latest model of Nike Air, Samsung Galaxy S7, digital watch...designer bag. I smirked...and I wasn't happy for either that poor guy or myself.'

I would say your thought process is 'pathetic' natural to feel that way maybe, but you don't know the arrangement between fat yank and young Filipina - it might be an arrangement where she gets goodies and a salary for being with him - he might be happy for when she outlives her usefulness that she is told to hit the road - to the American - all those things she has on might cost chicken feed to him, it doesn't to Pedro, the local mechanic in Davao. This is the point.

Page 3 girls in The Sun were paid thousands a night to f**k Arab Sheiks in the eighties and nineties - these were young, good, nice looking, white British girls with big breasts who would not have a shortage of local men to date - as handsome as they want too. But still, there were men in this world (Arab sheiks) who could buy them and f**k them.

I don't know if you have ever seen the Argentine film 'Nine Queens' where the character played by Ricardo Darin is asking Gaston Pauls how much would it cost (hypothetically) to f**k him up the ass, as the price goes up to a million - Gaston Pauls stops saying 'no never' and contemplates the figure of money in front of him...'

And it's then Ricardo Darin whispers in his ear and says 'See, everyone has their price'.

The only thing with the Philippines is the price is a lot lower and Brad from Idaho can play - not that Fiipinas are any more mecenary. You can play the same game in London with Page 3 girls but the entrance is a lot higher.