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As if it wasn't clear enough (from FilpinoCupid)

Discuss culture, living, traveling, relocating, dating or anything related to the Asian countries - China, The Philippines, Thailand, etc.

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Johnny1975
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Re: As if it wasn't clear enough (from FilpinoCupid)

Post by Johnny1975 » August 21st, 2017, 1:18 am

publicduende wrote:
I might sound entitled, but I just want to make sure I don't make a mistake.

My ex-wife was a mechanical engineer with a masters in management, she was smart and hot. We didn't have have much in common and that led us to drift apart over time.

If intellect-wise she's my benchmark, how low do you want me to go?

I have tried to compromise, but I can't. And I recommend anyone to think twice before doing it.
Being a mechanical engineer and having a masters in any subject shows a certain level of intellect. That much is undeniable. But that level of intellect is above and beyond what is necessary. That shouldn't be your benchmark. Sure it's nice to have someone that you can chat with about whatever intellectual topics you enjoy, but companionship is not about that, and don't forget that too much intelligence in women can lead to arrogance. Generally they're just not good at being highly intelligent and humble at the same time. Hey even men can sometimes have trouble juggling the two (although I must admit, I do it very well - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0Jv_XR6RMAI).

Intellectual discussions is what male friends and acquaintances are for. Women are for companionship, sex, and pleasant chit chat. All you need is someone that you can spend a whole day with and not feel bored or awkward, someone who is different to you, including intellectually. There's a lot of satisfaction to be had when a woman looks up to you because to her you're so clever. I certainly wouldn't want to be with a girl whose head hurts whenever I talk about anything beyond the weather, but a curious mind and the ability to engage on most topics, even on a basic level, should be more than enough.

To answer your question, I think you could go quite a bit lower than a mechanical engineer with a masters.
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Adama
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Re: As if it wasn't clear enough (from FilpinoCupid)

Post by Adama » August 21st, 2017, 3:27 am

His mind is unable to accept this truth. That much has been blatantly obvious since his first thread on the subject.

But on the other hand, it is nice to see some real posts from Johnny1975.

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droid
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Re: As if it wasn't clear enough (from FilpinoCupid)

Post by droid » August 21st, 2017, 7:51 am

Johnny1975 wrote:
publicduende wrote:
I might sound entitled, but I just want to make sure I don't make a mistake.

My ex-wife was a mechanical engineer with a masters in management, she was smart and hot. We didn't have have much in common and that led us to drift apart over time.

If intellect-wise she's my benchmark, how low do you want me to go?

I have tried to compromise, but I can't. And I recommend anyone to think twice before doing it.
Being a mechanical engineer and having a masters in any subject shows a certain level of intellect. That much is undeniable. But that level of intellect is above and beyond what is necessary. That shouldn't be your benchmark. Sure it's nice to have someone that you can chat with about whatever intellectual topics you enjoy, but companionship is not about that, and don't forget that too much intelligence in women can lead to arrogance. Generally they're just not good at being highly intelligent and humble at the same time. Hey even men can sometimes have trouble juggling the two (although I must admit, I do it very well - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0Jv_XR6RMAI).

Intellectual discussions is what male friends and acquaintances are for. Women are for companionship, sex, and pleasant chit chat. All you need is someone that you can spend a whole day with and not feel bored or awkward, someone who is different to you, including intellectually. There's a lot of satisfaction to be had when a woman looks up to you because to her you're so clever. I certainly wouldn't want to be with a girl whose head hurts whenever I talk about anything beyond the weather, but a curious mind and the ability to engage on most topics, even on a basic level, should be more than enough.

To answer your question, I think you could go quite a bit lower than a mechanical engineer with a masters.
Like Adama said, you spake pure truth my friend.
I would just insist on empathy and a very good sense of humor as things to look for. At the end of the day you need a woman that helps you out, that asks "hey how is your project going?" "let me know if I can help you in some way" etc.

For the life of me I can't understand why someone would specifically look for "educated" women. And anyways, I've never met a woman that would be able to carry a truly deep, intelligent conversation. Like you say it delves into arrogance, or, they hit a ceiling with some pseudo-intellectual or liberal tripe, or, they get bored once things get -necessarily- mildly technical.
Even the ones successful and skillful at something, i find they are just going through the motions, without a real passion for the subject. Again, I don't say this with misogyny, I really think it's unfortunate. (*disclaimer: generally speaking, not "all" of them of course etc)

What duende doesn't see, and should be careful what he wishes for, is those women will NOT walk your path, nor be your true partner, their priority is themselves at the end of the day.
His 'didn't have much in common' seems just an euphemism of sorts for what happened, he won't admit it. I won't pierce more than that again though, that's kind of more personal, but If he doesn't watch out he will just repeat the dose.

We're all repeating ourselves, but like duende said, this is all divertimento at this point :P

Given his requirements and everyone's impressions on the place, he botched it and couldn't have chosen a worse country to move to anyway:

Highly intelligent, with a degree: Uncheck
8+ in looks, lighter skin: Uncheck
Well off, middle-upper class: Uncheck
Has "more options", but wants me "for me"(cue 'ding' sound): Uncheck
johnny 1975 wrote:Generally they're just not good at being highly intelligent and humble at the same time. Hey even men can sometimes have trouble juggling the two (although I must admit, I do it very well - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0Jv_XR6RMAI).
:lol:
1)Too much of one thing defeats the purpose.
2)Everybody is full of it. What's your hypocrisy?

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droid
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Re: As if it wasn't clear enough (from FilpinoCupid)

Post by droid » August 21st, 2017, 8:02 am

And this is why we're all literally f*ckd in the medium to long term, almost independently of economic factors. These good-for-nothing mallrats getting more and more "likes" everyday and the egos going to the stratosphere, there seems to be no limits to this. Everyone is a mini celebrity now, and like drealm mentioned in another thread, they get "more validation in two hours than a man gets in a lifetime". To top it off, the apps have these enhancement features, and they think they really look like the better version of themselves.

What's truly pathetic is not that in itself but the hundreds of praising, supplicating, idiotic twerps in the comments, it's unbelievable.
1)Too much of one thing defeats the purpose.
2)Everybody is full of it. What's your hypocrisy?

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publicduende
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Re: As if it wasn't clear enough (from FilpinoCupid)

Post by publicduende » August 21st, 2017, 10:43 am

droid wrote:
And this is why we're all literally f*ckd in the medium to long term, almost independently of economic factors. These good-for-nothing mallrats getting more and more "likes" everyday and the egos going to the stratosphere, there seems to be no limits to this. Everyone is a mini celebrity now, and like drealm mentioned in another thread, they get "more validation in two hours than a man gets in a lifetime". To top it off, the apps have these enhancement features, and they think they really look like the better version of themselves.

What's truly pathetic is not that in itself but the hundreds of praising, supplicating, idiotic twerps in the comments, it's unbelievable.
LOL gosh why are you (literally) reading too much in that poor girl's profile? I just found a random profile on my Facebook "maybe you would like to add..." sub-list and thought that Chinita face was a good specimen of a girl Pinoys would drool over.

I don't care if it's entitled or spoiled or ego-inflated or whatnot, she was only meant to give you an example of looks that won't need any "foreign support".

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droid
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Re: As if it wasn't clear enough (from FilpinoCupid)

Post by droid » August 21st, 2017, 11:44 am

I understand you were only giving an example of looks duende. My post was just a general sidenote.
1)Too much of one thing defeats the purpose.
2)Everybody is full of it. What's your hypocrisy?

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Zambales
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Re: As if it wasn't clear enough (from FilpinoCupid)

Post by Zambales » August 21st, 2017, 1:08 pm

I don't think you're as clever as you think you are, Duende.

Intelligence comes in different forms such as decision making, logic and common sense, and I think you're one of these types who can accomplish in an academic sense something relatively easily what the average person finds far more of a chore. On the other side of the coin, what the average individual finds straightforward you have immense difficulty with, such as seeing the bigger picture on the topic in question.

Seeking a young attractive Filipina in the Philippines who can hold an intellectual conversation in English was never going to be easy. English maybe widely spoken but it's not their first language and the level for the vast majority is basic at best.

Even if you did meet one, you've still left the back door gaping wide open by focusing solely on intelligence and not on the most important factors.

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Adama
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Re: As if it wasn't clear enough (from FilpinoCupid)

Post by Adama » August 21st, 2017, 2:52 pm

droid wrote:
Being a mechanical engineer and having a masters in any subject shows a certain level of intellect. That much is undeniable. But that level of intellect is above and beyond what is necessary. That shouldn't be your benchmark.

Like Adama said, you spake pure truth my friend.

For the life of me I can't understand why someone would specifically look for "educated" women.

What duende doesn't see, and should be careful what he wishes for, is those women will NOT walk your path, nor be your true partner, their priority is themselves at the end of the day.

His 'didn't have much in common' seems just an euphemism of sorts for what happened, he won't admit it. I won't pierce more than that again though, that's kind of more personal, but If he doesn't watch out he will just repeat the dose.

We're all repeating ourselves, but like duende said, this is all divertimento at this point :P

Given his requirements and everyone's impressions on the place, he botched it and couldn't have chosen a worse country to move to anyway:

Highly intelligent, with a degree: Uncheck
8+ in looks, lighter skin: Uncheck
Well off, middle-upper class: Uncheck
Has "more options", but wants me "for me"(cue 'ding' sound): Uncheck
He's admitted that his ex-wife was all of the above, yet they had nothing in common. At the same time though, he also holds her up as some kind of standard.

Now let me ask you. Would you hold up something that failed as the standard for the future?

And if she was all of the above and it didn't work out, would you still hold to the same standard as before? Or would you try a different strategy? Especially when it's obvious to the whole world exactly what is going on? And they have told you repeatedly? And you even know what it is, but you just insist on holding to the failed strategy.

And then when someone makes undeniable points to awaken your soul, you find ways to dismiss his credibility.

This is not a person I'd bother having a continued conversation with on such a topic. There is a major blockage there. There is no way anyone is going to lighten his eyes or wake him up. He's got blockage that a man can't remove. It's too monumental of a task. But it does give valuable insight into the workings of human minds.

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publicduende
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Re: As if it wasn't clear enough (from FilpinoCupid)

Post by publicduende » August 21st, 2017, 3:40 pm

Zambales wrote:I don't think you're as clever as you think you are, Duende.
Never thought I was clever. But I hold on to my opinions, that yes.
Zambales wrote:Intelligence comes in different forms such as decision making, logic and common sense, and I think you're one of these types who can accomplish in an academic sense something relatively easily what the average person finds far more of a chore. On the other side of the coin, what the average individual finds straightforward you have immense difficulty with, such as seeing the bigger picture on the topic in question.
Are you telling me I have some slight autistic disorder? :) What exactly is the straightforward point I have immense difficulty with? I have been in Davao for 2 years and I made myself an opinion on who I can find here and who I can't. I think I have gotten the memo that most of you are looking for a submissive young girl whose intellectual level is such that you will stand out as a giant and elicit all the respect and admiration you never had back home. Or some others of you have gotten out of a divorce and all they need is a girl who's cute, gives them sex and asks as little questions as possible while they entertain their fellow foreigners around a table full of beer.

No disrespect for these kinds of men, who are a majority of those I see over here in Davao and neighbouring provinces. But please try and respect my opinion and my preferences.
Zambales wrote:Seeking a young attractive Filipina in the Philippines who can hold an intellectual conversation in English was never going to be easy. English maybe widely spoken but it's not their first language and the level for the vast majority is basic at best.

Even if you did meet one, you've still left the back door gaping wide open by focusing solely on intelligence and not on the most important factors.
The most important factors being? How docile she is? How hot? Beauty is important, I am the first to admit it, but personality and intelligence are higher in my book. Again, my preferences. Please respect that.

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publicduende
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Re: As if it wasn't clear enough (from FilpinoCupid)

Post by publicduende » August 21st, 2017, 3:56 pm

Adama wrote:He's admitted that his ex-wife was all of the above, yet they had nothing in common. At the same time though, he also holds her up as some kind of standard.
What is that supposed to mean? So the fact that we drifted apart means that, all of a sudden, she stops having those qualities? It might be a rare sight in Rape-divorce-land, but there are cases where divorce does not constitute a major emotional and financial trauma. It's the end of the journey. Friendly hug, a tear or two and...goodbye and good luck, my friend.
Adama wrote:Now let me ask you. Would you hold up something that failed as the standard for the future?
Of course. Especially after realising how boring the average Filipina can be. Unlike you, I am actually living here so my view on Filipino culture is a little bit wider than a chat window and a browser screen. Maybe you want a girl who just nods at every statement of yours and agrees without even having an opinion of her own. If you had the grace of being over here you would realise that most Pinays are submissive and agreeable only on the surface. They have their mood swings, their gossip behind your back, their hidden agendas like everybody else. If you hold them to such high standards, you might in for a major surprise when you finally land here and start dating.

The point is: women are women everywhere. Filipinas are special in that they are naturally friendly and have a grace largely unknown to the whale population of certain Anglosphere countries, but that doesn't mean 100% of their feelings and behaviours are genuine. Wake up.
Adama wrote:And if she was all of the above and it didn't work out, would you still hold to the same standard as before? Or would you try a different strategy? Especially when it's obvious to the whole world exactly what is going on? And they have told you repeatedly? And you even know what it is, but you just insist on holding to the failed strategy.

And then when someone makes undeniable points to awaken your soul, you find ways to dismiss his credibility.
Thanks for the attempt to reawaken my soul but if by "the whole world" you mean people who keep reading blogs and forums and fantasize about Dream-P***yland buried deep into their armchairs, then I don't think the whole world knows what is going on. I think I have drawn some very lucid conclusions that are in disagreement with my preferences. I am not following any strategy, I am just following my personal tastes. I have tried many times to compromise, to be with "simple" girls, as they like to call themselves. I don't like it, I get bored, I start losing respect and, next thing I know, one or both of us call it a day.

I have met very few girls I could engage with on nice conversations, who had an opinions, who cared about my opinions and theirs, who could understand my sense of humour without just nodding and pretending, and whose depth I could sense. Unfortunately, all these girls and women were duly taken: engaged or married. Of course I also met plenty of married women who were not so engaging and shallow.
Adama wrote:This is not a person I'd bother having a continued conversation with on such a topic. There is a major blockage there. There is no way anyone is going to lighten his eyes or wake him up. He's got blockage that a man can't remove. It's too monumental of a task. But it does give valuable insight into the workings of human minds.
This is a public, unmoderated forum. Your choice who your reply to and what you say. We agree to disagree. But remember that you're the one who has yet to come over here and see the reality with his own eyes.

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Zambales
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Re: As if it wasn't clear enough (from FilpinoCupid)

Post by Zambales » August 21st, 2017, 4:28 pm

publicduende wrote: What exactly is the straightforward point I have immense difficulty with?
Admitting you made a mistake in choosing the Philippines to look for a woman that meets your criteria and understanding why. See my previous post.
publicduende wrote:I think I have gotten the memo that most of you are looking for a submissive young girl whose intellectual level is such that you will stand out as a giant and elicit all the respect and admiration you never had back home. Or some others of you have gotten out of a divorce and all they need is a girl who's cute, gives them sex and asks as little questions as possible while they entertain their fellow foreigners around a table full of beer.
I can't speak for anyone else but I couldn't give a rats arse if she thought I was intelligent or not. Loyalty, humility and contentment for example are just some of the traits I look for in a Filipina.
publicduende wrote: The most important factors being? How docile she is? How hot? Beauty is important, I am the first to admit it, but personality and intelligence are higher in my book. Again, my preferences. Please respect that.
Granted, personality and looks are important especially the former, but what's a westerner's Achilles Heel when it comes to choosing a woman from the Philippines? Yep, he hooks up with a scammer.

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publicduende
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Re: As if it wasn't clear enough (from FilpinoCupid)

Post by publicduende » August 21st, 2017, 4:49 pm

Zambales wrote:Admitting you made a mistake in choosing the Philippines to look for a woman that meets your criteria and understanding why. See my previous post.
To my memory, this is the third, long and intense thread I dedicate to ruminating, dissecting and discussing the passionate, deep mistake that I made, by coming here thinking I could have the "package deal": successful business + top-notch Filipina. What more do you want? A full-page ad on the New York Times?

This is a video I watched a while ago. Will N Dowd just reminded me of it yesterday, I re-watched and found it spot on.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WZ6_NZDBnvA[/youtube]

I don't think I made a huge mistake to expect too much. I know I can't bear the kind of Filipina girl you love to love and I know I will never have a lasting relationship with that type of girl. I tried and tried and, apart from the transient fun, I failed.

I have to reshape my expectations, and it will be a process. I do not think I want to compromise. I'd rather stay put for a while and get out of the near-exhaustion situation I am in. Recover some peace of mind and freshness and start going to Manila more often, perhaps with the pretext (which is not so much of a pretext) to meet my clients. Try to get the word out there that I am single and looking and perhaps find a girl who has that kind of good university pedigree, a decent job, cute and happy to give dating me a honest try. I know these girls do exist, Davao being devoid of them does not mean I won't be able to find them in Makati or BGC. I might go nowhere, but maybe I should give it a try.

Keeping complaining certainly isn't a solution, especially if I do not want to compromise and I don't want to leave this country, either.
Zambales wrote:I can't speak for anyone else but I couldn't give a rats arse if she thought I was intelligent or not. Loyalty, humility and contentment for example are just some of the traits I look for in a Filipina.
So a Filipina (or any woman) cannot be intelligent and loyal/humble at the same time? To echo your Reader's Digest psychology, doesn't it look like you need somebody whose personality and demeanor won't get in the way of your sense of superiority and self-validation?
publicduende wrote:Granted, personality and looks are important especially the former, but what's a westerner's Achilles Heel when it comes to choosing a woman from the Philippines? Yep, he hooks up with a scammer.
All the more reason why I want to be with a woman of intellectual quality. Real intelligence and grace usually come in a pair: a girl who is smart and graceful knows how to respect her fellow human being, being them a family member of a boyfriend.

dragonsmack68
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Re: As if it wasn't clear enough (from FilpinoCupid)

Post by dragonsmack68 » August 22nd, 2017, 3:05 am

I agree ..most guys are happy with younger and pretty....

Image

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publicduende
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Re: As if it wasn't clear enough (from FilpinoCupid)

Post by publicduende » August 22nd, 2017, 11:38 am

dragonsmack68 wrote:I agree ..most guys are happy with younger and pretty....
She looks classy and pretty. Maybe I need to age a bit more before I can attract girls like that. ;)

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Zambales
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Re: As if it wasn't clear enough (from FilpinoCupid)

Post by Zambales » August 22nd, 2017, 12:15 pm

publicduende wrote:
I don't think I made a huge mistake to expect too much.
It wasn't a huuuge mistake but then again it wasn't the wisest decision ever made. You'd have been better to stay in the UK to look for an intellectual woman with a grasp of the English language that matches your own. A lonely hearts ad in the Readers Digest might have worked wonders.
publicduende wrote: So a Filipina (or any woman) cannot be intelligent and loyal/humble at the same time?
When did I say that? :?
publicduende wrote: To echo your Reader's Digest psychology, doesn't it look like you need somebody whose personality and demeanor won't get in the way of your sense of superiority and self-validation?
What sense of superiority :?? If anyone's guilty of having a superiority complex it's YOU with your constant jibing towards Filipina's who are poor and in your eyes, uneducated.
publicduende wrote: All the more reason why I want to be with a woman of intellectual quality. Real intelligence and grace usually come in a pair: a girl who is smart and graceful knows how to respect her fellow human being, being them a family member of a boyfriend.
So only intellects are capable of respect huh? Before you arrived in the Philippines, where did you reside? In a basement? :lol:

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