Ten types of Taiwanese girls to avoid (funny and true)

[Winston]

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The only good girls are Taipei girls

By Ran The Man • August 18, 2008

‘The only good girls are Taipei girls……..’
told to me by someone when i first came here

If you live in Taipei, consider yourself fortunate. There are TONS of quality ladies there- OUTSTANDING ladies that you will feel fortunate to have known, no matter what happens between the two of you.There are many who are ready to have a boyfriend and will treat you right.And the odds are on your side mathematically. Look at the demographics: urban and metro population of Taipei is 5,000,000 people!!!!! All confined into a city the size of Baltimore!Most dependent on public transportation. You’re bound to run into somebody that suits you.

However, if you are out of Taipei or other MAJOR city, you’re mostly out of luck.I have listened to more than one guy outside Taipei complaining about not getting any action at all. If you live outside Taipei(or Tai Chong etc), I suggest making a two day trip to there a regular weekly thing, just to meet people.
That said, even in Taipei there are a few types of women that I find unique to Taiwan that one should watch out for. They are not the majority, but they exist in enough numbers to make your dating life a serious pain. Here they are:

1. Miss English- always talking in English( except to her girl buddies),and always preparing for some English proficiency test, Miss English is goal oriented. People around her don’t matter, except those who fit into her academic plans. You are basically language practice. Any attention she shows you is to keep you on the hook. Also, her talk about former foriegn boyfriends she claims to have had will depress you.
Sex with her would probably involve you teaching her all the synonyms for the word ‘orgasm’, as well as correcting her pronunciation when she moans.
Avoid her.

2. Miss Group Think– you make a date with MGT, only for her to call you up (or worse show up) and say ‘can i bring a friend?’ Miss Group Think does not trust her own judgment and needs you to be screened by her friends. Of course, you will not pass the test. Her friends will pick out anything that’s different about you and judge it as a fault (the Chinese way of looking at things is always right). But it’s worse than that.
Many times, MGT has thought it over and decided she’s not really ready to go out with you, but can’t get out of the date. So, she is letting you know that you’re just friends by bringing her friend. You CANNOT win this situation. If you get angry, that is ‘proof’ that you were unstable and not worth her time.
Nothing will come of any effort with MGT. My advice: just leave her there with her friend.

3. Miss Xenophobia– closely related to Miss Group Think. Does the same things as MGT but for a different reason: she’s just not ready to spoil her squeaky clean dating record by actually going out with a foriegner. Miss Xenophobia is a product of decades of nationalist conditioning and quite frankly, a racist whether she knows it or not. Basically unreachable.

4. Miss ‘Don’t Know What My Vagina Is For’– runs in packs. thinks looking pretty is for her girlfriends, not the opposite sex. Is a clueless, sexual dud in a killer body. loves Hello Kitty. rejoices in making all men her friends.Is probably getting sex, but nobody can figure out from where. May have no need whatsoever for it, since her perceivable libido is zero.

5. Miss Drives Fast So You Can’t Look At Her- also wears one of the new full face sunvisors. These girls are hiding. They dress sexy to find Mr. Right, whoever he is (they don’t know either), and since you’re not him, you are just a nuisance who won’t stop looking at her. These girls drive excessively fast and one day will know what it’s like to be nipple-less, having scraped them off sliding 10 meters on the pavement at 80kph!
Another example of the excessive stupidity that shows itself in many- not the majority-but TOO MANY taiwanese women.You don’t have to avoid this woman. She’s avoiding you.

6. Miss Church- EITHER is trying hard to get away from whatever bad girl she used to be. or, is frigid and afraid of men and is hiding behind the church, but knows she needs a man, so she ‘marries’ Jesus, knowing He won’t get her into trouble. Asking this girl out for coffee, you might as well be asking her for a romp in the sack. ‘Oh i couldn’t go out with you unless you were my boyfriend.’ (catch 22)?
Of course, she can’t keep up this act forever and will look for a safe avenue to express her pent up sexuality. But the moment you return her advances, she will turn you away and say you misunderstood,i.e ‘ we’re all just friends.’ As with a lot of Taiwan girls, she just wanted the ‘atmosphere of a foriegner’ for a few moments, but just can’t go for real.

7. Miss 7-11- has lots of guys-tough strong, manly truck drivers- telling her she’s pretty everyday. What does she need you for? Nothing really, but atmosphere. She only enjoys the atmosphere of ‘that foriegn guy who comes in’. Maybe she feels she’s accomplished something because she’s ‘broken out of’ her xenophbia and actually talked to a foriegner. Her friends can say ‘wow’.
But if you think Miss 7-11 is going out with you, you’d better get your head out of the clouds. 7-11 girl only likes rough, tough men, and you, no matter how tough you are, are too nice for a down home taiwanese girl. Which brings us to….

8. Country Girls (in case you happen outside of Taipei)- no, they’re not sexually repressed bumpkins just waiting to release it on a foriegn guy. They’re already getting PLENTY of sex, from TAI KE GE GE(those tough, gangster jerks). To her, you with all your foriegner -nice -guy- treat- women-right stuff, just aren’t manly. You have to understand: all country girl has ever seen are the tough types.That’s her image of a man. She knows if she wants anything from them, she has to offer up more than flirting. These guys don’t give a you know what about women, and they get it ALL. CGs treat you nice because you give them something they can’t get from their boyfriends- true niceness. But you are just for that and NOTHING MORE. All sexual attention and attraction is reserved for her good for nothing truck driver boyfriend, who by the way, doesn’t know how to smile, only smirk.

9. Miss ‘Women Looking For Men.Com’ or whatever site she posts on-you would think this girl would fall into one of two types: nice girl looking for a quality guy and is READY to date or 2., sex craved nympho who likes foriegners, but you would be wrong(about 1.).
When you meet 1., she’ll make you jump thru the same hoops as Miss Group Think. She’s NOT READY to date, no matter what she posts. 2. is no fun and quite frankly, psychotic. Trust me- nymphos are nothing to brag about on your sexual resume.

10. Miss Sky High Standard- nothing is good enough for this woman. The days when a foriegn guy was considered a catch are over. You’ll surely run into a greencard digger in Taiwan. Taiwan has been quite successful at boosting the self esteem of women here thru the roof. Even your nice, cozy house that you can buy in the States, Canada, or Australia isn’t good enough for her. You’re not president of Taiwan Bank. You’re not good enough. Close relative to Miss Xenophobia.

So there you are. The stuff to avoid. Good luck……….

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