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Ladislav, question about Thailand

Discuss culture, living, traveling, relocating, dating or anything related to the Asian countries - China, The Philippines, Thailand, etc.

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Postby The Professor » Thu May 23, 2013 3:48 pm

anamericaninbangkok wrote:
Professor - this comment shows how very little you know about Thai women, "The women sound pretty awful and amoral." Don't believe everything you hear. Hang out with whores, and you get whorish behavior. Hang out with decent women, and you don't get awful, amoral women. I'm not saying that Thai women are any different than anywhere else in the world, some get drunk, get horny, need dick, and sleep with guys on the first date. Others are solid women who want a commitment and are committed themselves.

Also, Xiongmao - Again I will say, if you are away from a hooker, she probably isn't going to be faithful no matter how much you give her. I can't tell you how many times guys have called hos I've been in bed and the women were flat out lying to them. But...get a good, solid, hard working woman and the chances of her screwing around are slim. AS I've said several times, who wants some chick who NEEDS a man to take care of her? She's basically a sperm receptable/maid. I personally want more than this.


I've never been to Thailand myself but I've read a lot of stories about Thai women cheating, especially when their boyfriends are not in the country. Most of the time they're not bar girls either, just regular girls.

Though I have heard some stories about guys dating bar girls, financially supporting them from overseas, and being shocked when he finds out she's cheating. Frankly though, anyone expecting monogamy from a prostitute deserves whatever they have coming to them.

Another thing I've read about time and time again are Thai women who have multiple naive guys from overseas sending them money while being with a Thai guy in reality.

I would also say it's not nearly as easy to avoid dating a cheating woman as you imply. I've never been to Thailand but back in America I can think of plenty of times I met a woman that seemed pretty nice and didn't act slutty at all who turned out to be cheating on her boyfriend. Last year, before I left to go to China one of my friends found out his girlfriend was cheating on him. I met her on many occasions. She was the shy, quiet "bookworm" type who didn't dress or act remotely slutty. The point being, don't think your chances of getting cheated on are small just because you avoid whores and obvious sluts.
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Postby anamericaninbangkok » Thu May 23, 2013 10:00 pm

ladislav wrote:
They all hate you, don't go there." Really, why do so many foreigners not only visit here but live here?


Because many don't speak the language. Most don't. And the hatred is sneaky. It's like the racism in Canada and New England- covert. You become aware of it after some time.

Another one, "You need to be a big shot to get a decent regular girl." My experience and nearly all of my friends who live here, is that it is quite easy to meet decent Thai women if you look outside the bars.


Anecdotal. I can say the same about my friends who met decent women but they were mostly the ones whom Thais did not want- too old, too ugly, with a kid, etc. Decent to the Western guys.
"They prefer stupid people over intellectual ones."

Yes, if you hang out with uneducated bar girls, this is true.


No, I hung out ( or tried to hang out) with university teachers there because I was at three Thai universities. Half will not talk to you and just pass you by, period. Or you start talking to them and they generally know very little.

Like I said, his experience is what it is, for whatever reason he and Thailand don't mesh.


That's correct. And there is a strong possibility that many readers will not mesh with it, as well. Hence the warning.

As I said- we are all free to promote our own views and opinions here. I say- don't go! You say- go!

Let the reader decide.


My guess is your disdain for Thais has more to do with what you project, which is what you get back. Cause - effect.

The hatred is sneaky? Lol, dude, maybe they hate you because of your attitude towards them. Hate is a strong word and I've had many Thais help me in my endeavors here that had absolutely nothing to gain from doing so. Aside from the occasional red shirt taxi driver with a bad attitude, I've never experienced anything that could be construed as "hate."

I have at least 20 whites friends and acquaintances from the US, UK, Canada, and Australia who live here and who get more p***y than you can shake a stick at. While these guys hit the bar scene sometimes, the majority of the time they are with non-pros. Only one could be construed as a big shot, and he's the most anti-social than any of the group. All of them speak at least some Thai.

There is a strong possibility that many readers will not mesh with it either? Why, simply because you hate the place? You are a rarity in that not many people come to Thailand or live in Thailand and 1) have nothing good to say about the place and 2) absolutely hate it.

As far as the women not being what Thai men want, the same could be said about the women not wanting the men. I have some semblance of guidelines; I would not be with a bar girl in a relationship, I would not get involved with or marry a girl with children, and I was smart enough to wait for a few years before I even considered being in a relationship. Admittedly, far too many men, mostly desperate or lonely men, get involved with bar girls either because they do not have the patience to learn the culture while waiting for a decent, attractive Thai woman. But many of the men who do get involved with non-pros prefer dark-skinned Thais to lighter skinned ones. I could care less - it's all pink on the inside - and I certainly am not going to let a Thais preference for a white skinned Thai who he thinks looks less like a farm girl guide my preferences.

Also,. maybe the foreigner getting "old, ugly, women with kids," has more to do with him personally than anything else. I know a guy here, big, wealthy 68-year-old German guy, who has a cute Issaan girl. The girl is about 35 years old and she has a 10-year-old kid. How many 69-year-old men are going to find a girl half their age WITHOUT kids?

Professor - to me, if you meet a girl online, she's as risky as meeting a bar girl. Not saying this is why "regular girls" cheat but this is one area I think that is overlooked and the majority of the women online are looking for a man because they can't take care of themselves. Anytime a woman needs a man to survive financially, the man is a poor position IMO.

Anyhow, women cheat all over the world. Thai women are no different.

The majority of Thai women I know and who I've met and who work in jobs where they go to work 5 or 6 days a week, don't have much time to play around with men. These types of girls are usually not the ones with 3 or 4 guys sending them money. The ones having money sent to them are the working girls and girls supposedly looking for a man online.

I had a guy contact me once. He was very polite and so happy he "had a Thai girlfriend." When I asked him how many times he'd been to Thailand, he said never. Turns out the guy had been carrying on an online relationship with this woman for a year. She was a nurse and was separated from her husband. One day the guy sends me a frantic message...please help me, please help. It turns out he had not spoken to the girl in three days. He normally spoke to her every day. He wanted me to call her because he was worried the woman's ex-husband had gotten violent with her. I told him, "f**k no, I'm not getting involved in that situation." He got angry and later told me that the husband put the woman in the hospital. Now...did I feel bad? Nope...if this dumbass had not fallen in love with some chick he didn't know, he would not have had to deal with this sort of drama and I would not be in the position where he could ask me to call her. This is the sort of idiot men who are out there. It's not only the Thai women who are bad to the farang men, the farang men very often don't have a clue to what they're getting into or how to deal with them.

"I would also say it's not nearly as easy to avoid dating a cheating woman as you imply. I've never been to Thailand but back in America I can think of plenty of times I met a woman that seemed pretty nice and didn't act slutty at all who turned out to be cheating on her boyfriend."

So then what's the answer? Men and women cheat all over the world, that's a given. Is that going to stop you from getting involved with a woman? If you put the time in, build the trust, and work on your relationship, then the rest is up to her. Why worry about her screwing things up? If she wants to screw up everything the two of you have worked for together, then that's on her. It doesn't mean it won't hurt if she screws around, it doesn't mean it's right, but why worry about it or let it affect your relationship.

I will also tell you this Professor - there are still many traditional Thai women around who treat their husbands like Kings and who value their marriage and relationship. Don't believe everything you hear or read. I've been with literally thousands of Thai and Asian women and most of the problems occur because the men haven't got a clue how to handle them, how to assess the situation they're in, or how to be in a relationship with a woman.

Example - a guy comes to Thailand for the first time, has his fun, then decides to move here. After a month, he gets a massage from a girl at a regular massage parlor, supposedly no happy endings allowed. The woman is cute so he gets her number. He's lonely and is looking for a girl who he thinks is a decent Thai girl. They got out and have a great time and don't kiss or have sex. The next time they go out, they have a great time and have sex. He thinks she's totally into him. He's shocked when she asks for money. They can barely communicate to one another but he tries to explain he wants to make her his girlfriend. She likes him but she needs cash. Now...maybe on the day he was at the massage parlor the boss was working and this boss is against sex on the premisses. She would have blown him at the massage parlor but she was scared of getting caught and losing her job. So now this guy calls her and calls her and keeps paying her, all the while thinking she's a good girl who simply needs money. She isn't a whore per se, at least in his eyes.

Finally, someone at the massage parlor tells him that if he wants her to be his girlfriend, he has to pay 15,000 baht a month. He's getting a chick he likes, banging her, and he still thinks she doesn't have sex for money. I guess my point is that many guys let their dick rule their emotions when they're not even prepared to be involved in a relationship of any type other than busting a nut. Not only this, had he known anything about Thai culture he would know that Thai women worth making a girlfriend aren't found in massage parlors, even traditional massage parlors. Thai women of the substance that a strong, solid male wants are never going to be found in a massage parlor. He would also know that paying a chick a certain amount every month = dealing with a chick who very likely only wants his money. If the money stops, so does the love.

If you want to have a chance at a relationship with a Thai woman, from what I've seen and from my experiences, they should be women who have jobs. A job working at a bar, massage parlor, go-go, soapy...these don't count. I mean, they need to be an office worker, doctor, lawyer, nurse, teacher, etc. Also, don't give them any money. You don't generally hand women living in the US or UK money simply because you're dating them, nothing is different here. They have their own money and own job. This is where guys lose the plot IMO. Once you start giving them cash, they view you as a source of income. Listen, I don't have a helluva lot of money but if they want me, then want me for me, not money. I deal with their culture since I'm here, if they're involved with me they have to deal with mine as well. And in my culture if you pay them to be with you, then they're straight up sluts, whether they like it or not.
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Postby Banano » Thu May 23, 2013 11:50 pm

If you want to have a chance at a relationship with a Thai woman, from what I've seen and from my experiences, they should be women who have jobs. A job working at a bar, massage parlor, go-go, soapy...these don't count. I mean, they need to be an office worker, doctor, lawyer, nurse, teacher, etc. Also, don't give them any money. You don't generally hand women living in the US or UK money simply because you're dating them, nothing is different here. They have their own money and own job. This is where guys lose the plot IMO. Once you start giving them cash, they view you as a source of income. Listen, I don't have a helluva lot of money but if they want me, then want me for me, not money. I deal with their culture since I'm here, if they're involved with me they have to deal with mine as well. And in my culture if you pay them to be with you, then they're straight up sluts, whether they like it or not.[/quote]


Am in BKK

You made many good points about Thai women

Could it be that many farangs end up with bottom of the barrel women due to lack of language?
Not speaking Thai severely limits your choices, think about it,what % of This speak passable English,10%?Maybe less?
Then you have all these easy bar/massage girls who can speak some English and they are the first girls foreigners come in contact with

Online dating is minefield and should be avoided, decent Thai women with normal jobs wouldn't be hunting for foreign bf.
Most of them are professional/chronic daters with no proper job looking for sponsor of some kind

take into account that majority of men that go to Th exclusively for women are type guys who have little or no experience with women in their own countries, not knowing local language and no experience with women in general is recipe for disaster
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Postby anamericaninbangkok » Fri May 24, 2013 12:16 am

Banano wrote:[i]If you want to have a chance at a relationship with a Thai woman, from what I've seen and from my experiences, they should be women who have jobs. A job working at a bar, massage parlor, go-go, soapy...these don't count. I mean, they need to be an office worker, doctor, lawyer, nurse, teacher, etc. Also, don't give them any money. You don't generally hand women living in the US or UK money simply because you're dating them, nothing is different here. They have their own money and own job. This is where guys lose the plot IMO. Once you start giving them cash, they view you as a source of income. Listen, I don't have a helluva lot of money but if they want me, then want me for me, not money. I deal with their culture since I'm here, if they're involved with me they have to deal with mine as well. And in my culture if you pay them to be with you, then they're straight up sluts, whether they like it or not.

Am in BKK

You made many good points about Thai women

Could it be that many farangs end up with bottom of the barrel women due to lack of language?
Not speaking Thai severely limits your choices, think about it,what % of This speak passable English,10%?Maybe less?
Then you have all these easy bar/massage girls who can speak some English and they are the first girls foreigners come in contact with

Online dating is minefield and should be avoided, decent Thai women with normal jobs wouldn't be hunting for foreign bf.
Most of them are professional/chronic daters with no proper job looking for sponsor of some kind

take into account that majority of men that go to Th exclusively for women are type guys who have little or no experience with women in their own countries, not knowing local language and no experience with women in general is recipe for disaster


Language is definitely an issue. How can you carry on a serious conversation with someone if you can't communicate? Many guys come to the country and unable to speak the language, hit the bars. The women in the bars speak pigeon English, which is enough for most men. Nearly all of the guys living here who I know speak some Thai. I met an old guy, around 65 or so, who was so excited because he had a Thai girlfriend. She was a cook in a restaurant on the border and he was retired. He complimented her cooking, gave her his phone number and address, and told he she should visit him sometime. She showed up with two suitcases two days later. He didn't know it but she brought her bags to move in with him. He spoke no Thai, she spoke no English. So they communicated like idiotic children who had no lingual skills. He then told me, "Every time we're in a taxi, she always talks to the drivers. It pisses me off because I don't know what they're talking about." Well, he's a dumb ass for letting her move in. Also, WTF did he expect? They can't communicate and he doesn't think she'll get lonely and want someone to talk to sometimes? She was probably thrilled to talk to the taxi drivers after being shacked up with his old ass all day.

If men coming here simply remember to use the bar girls for a bit of fun and sex they'd be better off.

Bottom line - getting a quality woman anywhere in the world is never easy or a sure thing. Relationships and marriages take more commitment, work and patience than some men and women are willing to dedicate and without these things, the probability of failure is high.

Let's face facts gentleman - it doesn't matter where you are, there are going to be lying, cheating, scheming women. If you hook up with a Thai woman and she claims she's in love within a day or two or even a month, chances are high she's full of shit so don't fall for it. Be willing to walk away - put yourself in a position where you have other options. Also, it is very, very simple - if a woman has a shit job paying shit money or she isn't working and she gets you to fall for her, JACKPOT.

IMO a woman who is perfectly capable of taking care of herself and who doesn't NEED you but WANTS you is a much better find. I know it sounds romantic falling in love with little brown f***ing machine Nok from the farm in Issan but do you really want to dedicate your life to a woman who is unable to support herself, much less you and your kids? What if you fall ill? Will she take care of you or leave you? So I think if men separate the big head from the little head they can alleviate some of the problems that occur in relationships here and elsewhere.
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Postby The Professor » Fri May 24, 2013 11:05 am

anamericaninbangkok wrote:IMO a woman who is perfectly capable of taking care of herself and who doesn't NEED you but WANTS you is a much better find. I know it sounds romantic falling in love with little brown f***ing machine Nok from the farm in Issan but do you really want to dedicate your life to a woman who is unable to support herself, much less you and your kids? What if you fall ill? Will she take care of you or leave you? So I think if men separate the big head from the little head they can alleviate some of the problems that occur in relationships here and elsewhere.


Did it ever occur to you that so many foreigners end up with poor girls that they have to support because other women simply won't give them the time of day?

Of course it's better to find a woman who is able and willing to financially pull her own weight. Most guys want that, nobody wants to give up a large chunk of their disposable income unless they have to. Not to mention like you said, if you don't pay to be with a woman, you'll know that she wants to be with you for you, not just your money. It's a win win situation.

The problem is finding such a woman, especially in Asia, is just not possible for most foreigners, or most locals for that matter. In much of Asia, it is the norm for the man to not only financially support his wife and kid(s) but also the family of his wife.

Even people on this website, which has an overly rosy view of foreign women, admit that middle class women in Asia have really high standards and are generally undateable. In fact, it's a pretty common theme on here.

So it's not a matter of these guys picking the "wrong" women, but them taking the best and only option they have.
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Postby anamericaninbangkok » Fri May 24, 2013 11:30 am

The Professor wrote:
anamericaninbangkok wrote:IMO a woman who is perfectly capable of taking care of herself and who doesn't NEED you but WANTS you is a much better find. I know it sounds romantic falling in love with little brown f***ing machine Nok from the farm in Issan but do you really want to dedicate your life to a woman who is unable to support herself, much less you and your kids? What if you fall ill? Will she take care of you or leave you? So I think if men separate the big head from the little head they can alleviate some of the problems that occur in relationships here and elsewhere.


Did it ever occur to you that so many foreigners end up with poor girls that they have to support because other women simply won't give them the time of day?

Of course it's better to find a woman who is able and willing to financially pull her own weight. Most guys want that, nobody wants to give up a large chunk of their disposable income unless they have to. Not to mention like you said, if you don't pay to be with a woman, you'll know that she wants to be with you for you, not just your money. It's a win win situation.

The problem is finding such a woman, especially in Asia, is just not possible for most foreigners, or most locals for that matter. In much of Asia, it is the norm for the man to not only financially support his wife and kid(s) but also the family of his wife.

Even people on this website, which has an overly rosy view of foreign women, admit that middle class women in Asia have really high standards and are generally undateable. In fact, it's a pretty common theme on here.

So it's not a matter of these guys picking the "wrong" women, but them taking the best and only option they have.


If a guy is coming here as a tourist for a few weeks, then what's the point of a middle-class Thai woman getting involved with him? I went to the UK once and hit it off with one of those Page 2 or Page 3 girls, whatever they're called. She told me the same thing I think middle class Thai women think, "We'll only have a slap and tickle, nothing more." Some might want this but add in the language barrier, and it makes it very difficult. But why would you come to Thailand for a week or two expecting anything more than a lay anyway? In this case it's no different than back in the US. Unless you "get lucky" you're not going to nail a woman of substance. So if you're able to score regular women, great, otherwise, nail the bar girls and split. Don't settle for them because "they're the only option."

If you're here long-term, there's absolutely no reason to end up with a poor, uneducated girl unless this is what you want. Again I'll say, if you don't know the language, you probably have no business attempting to get in a relationship anyways. Learn the language, learn the culture, and I believe your chances of meeting a woman who doesn't rely on you and of having a successful relationship go way up.
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Postby Banano » Fri May 24, 2013 12:00 pm

The Professor wrote:
anamericaninbangkok wrote:IMO a woman who is perfectly capable of taking care of herself and who doesn't NEED you but WANTS you is a much better find. I know it sounds romantic falling in love with little brown f***ing machine Nok from the farm in Issan but do you really want to dedicate your life to a woman who is unable to support herself, much less you and your kids? What if you fall ill? Will she take care of you or leave you? So I think if men separate the big head from the little head they can alleviate some of the problems that occur in relationships here and elsewhere.


Did it ever occur to you that so many foreigners end up with poor girls that they have to support because other women simply won't give them the time of day?

Of course it's better to find a woman who is able and willing to financially pull her own weight. Most guys want that, nobody wants to give up a large chunk of their disposable income unless they have to. Not to mention like you said, if you don't pay to be with a woman, you'll know that she wants to be with you for you, not just your money. It's a win win situation.

The problem is finding such a woman, especially in Asia, is just not possible for most foreigners, or most locals for that matter. In much of Asia, it is the norm for the man to not only financially support his wife and kid(s) but also the family of his wife.

Even people on this website, which has an overly rosy view of foreign women, admit that middle class women in Asia have really high standards and are generally undateable. In fact, it's a pretty common theme on here.

So it's not a matter of these guys picking the "wrong" women, but them taking the best and only option they have.



It looks like non so desirable men will have problems no matter where they go and will have to date someone bellow their class

I can relate to what professor is saying, when I was staying in richer part of Bangkok I tried my luck with girls from these areas as I got tired of low class poor brown girls.
The problem was that to these girls I was invisible, its lonely feeling, I came to conclusion that getting middle class Thai women is as hard as getting western women.
AMinBKK said he was successful with women back home and that could explain why he attracts higher class Thais, imo if women in anglosphere find you attractive then you will do well pretty much anywhere
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Postby anamericaninbangkok » Fri May 24, 2013 12:47 pm

I consider myself average but know enough to charm some women.

The first thing I would do is stop worrying about whether you're at they're same level or whatever. If they don't like you, f**k em. Be willing to jerk off if you have to. I know I'm older and wiser now but grow some big nuts and figure out how to tactfully f**k with women's heads.

As far as the Thai women, a few words of Thai goes a long way. When I first came here I would walk up to Thai women and ask them if they could read something for me that was written in Thai (get someone to write it for you). Almost always, they would help. They would then tell me what the words meant, "Can I have your phone number?" Even if they couldn't speak English, they understood phone number. Then I would turn it around and say, "Yes, I want your phone number," hand them the phone, and ask them to put in their number. Most of the time, almost instinctively, they would enter the number.

The reason guys leaving the US and traveling all over the world get laid most of the time is because they're hooking up with women who view them as the golden ticket or Jackpot. They won the lottery because to them, you're rich. Some are too good, or too proud, to ask for money straight out but eventually, all men pay one way or another. If you're married, it might be something as simple as, "Honey, I need to pay for the electric bill." Maybe you don't expect it and blam, just like that you're out $100.

I listened to Steve Hoca's show with another Steve who came to Thailand. He was laughing about how many phone numbers he got. What he didn't and probably doesn't realize is that a high percentage of younger Thai women will give you their number simply to avoid telling you no. They also like to have two numbers, one for work and one for the friends. The work number is rarely answered.

Something else he was saying was how he nailed 8 women in his short time in Thailand, on the first date or within 30 minutes. All the girls were set up through a matchmaking service and these girls might have been looking to get paid or find the husband so they'll open their legs if this is what it takes. No decent Thai girl is jumping in the sack with you within 30 minutes and it is rare that a woman worth hooking up with for the long-term is going to hop into bed on the first date - same as anywhere in the world other than perhaps some Scandinavian countries.

Many times, a girl who isn't hardcore or who is pressured into sleeping with a guy for money will not ask for the money. If the guy doesn't give it to them, then they're shit out of luck. The guy thinks he got a freebie but the truth is the girl probably wanted some cash but was too shy to ask. I'm not saying this is the case with his women but it is quite possible.

If it goes on long enough, most girls eventually lose their cool and either get pissed or disappear.
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