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Globetrotter, dano, are Chinese women like these attainable?

Discuss culture, living, traveling, relocating, dating or anything related to the Asian countries - China, The Philippines, Thailand, etc.

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Postby Rock » Tue May 18, 2010 6:23 am

globetrotter wrote:Winston I am the ONLY foreigner in my city. There are no other foreigners here, there are no Asian foreigners here.

This small city consists of only local Chinese who grew up here or live in a village within 15 km. When I go into the countryside it is the first time they have ever seen someone non-Chinese.

Ever. In their lives.


Globetrotter, just curious. What province are you in? I guess you probably don't want to reveal the city because you might lose anonymity. Anyone who went there could just ask around about the resident foreigner and easily find you.
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Postby Montanaland » Sun May 23, 2010 4:38 pm

I would hope he's in the warmer part of China rather than the province that Hanjin is in. Just watching that "no reservations" made me cold. Minus 30 degrees in normal up there.
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Postby Winston » Sun May 23, 2010 7:47 pm

globetrotter wrote:Winston I am the ONLY foreigner in my city. There are no other foreigners here, there are no Asian foreigners here.

This small city consists of only local Chinese who grew up here or live in a village within 15 km. When I go into the countryside it is the first time they have ever seen someone non-Chinese.

Ever. In their lives.


Ok then. Do you see people there often smiling and making eye contact with EACH OTHER then?

Btw, here is someone who wrote me who also mentioned that girls in China smile at him:

"Hi Winston,

I read your comments on the Chinese/Taiwanese mentality and I thought i'd make a few comments. I agree with much of what you said but you failed to highlight some of the distinct positives that these traits bring as well. It's definitely not all negative and I believe there are some very specific traits that Chinese culture possesses to make it so lasting and adaptable in various environments.

I'd like to comment on your first point about gender contact. I'm not sure how different things are between Taiwan and China these days but i'm in Harbin, China right now and I see plenty of pretty girls that make eye contact with me. Not all of them smile but they do have that look when they see me that I know from experience that talking to them would not be out of the question. Many of the girls even initiate eye contact first which was a real surprise to me. I had the same experiences in Beijing, China as well so I think what you said about Chinese are not universal. Unfortunately, I haven't been able to test my hypothesis much because my girlfriend is with me :(. Maybe it's just Taiwanese girls in particular? I haven't been to Taiwan in a long time so I can't make a more apt comparison.

I believe the "angry" thing is a bit of cultural repression at work. I've noticed that China is undergoing a bit of a social renaissance right now. They are liberalizing quite a bit behind the scenes socially. Women dress more provocatively..men are allowed worldly pursuits such as arts and other hedonistic activities that would have been strictly prohibited years ago by communism. I believe there is a "sexual" revolution as well. As a result I think some parts of mainland China are actually experimenting and deviating away from Chinese norms because Communism is losing its value and that's what the unifying concept was here. Chinese on the mainland may in fact by "reinventing" themselves. On the otherhand Taiwan was established with the mindset of being a super productive, competitive, traditionalist, and practical capitalist society..the "Taiwanese" Chinese are essentially the old school Chinese. Communist China may in fact become the "new" Chinese with fairly different value sets and rules..only time will tell. I see plenty of the younger Chinese people running around with skateboards, piercings, frizzy 80's girl pop hairdos, and trendy looks that suggests that something interesting is happening.

As far as the temper goes I don't think this is 100% written in stone. I've met plenty of Taiwanese/Chinese who are very cool and level headed. I think maybe it's just coincidence and some of the aforementioned cultural repression at work.

On the topic of being conformist. I have to agree Asian/Chinese culture in general values conformity. I believe this is because NE Asia has always been a relatively hostile environment and that this type of conformity was necessary for survival back in the old days. Authoritarianism and NE Asia goes hand in hand unfortunately. If you look at history the most successful dynasties and kingdoms were all deeply authoritarian and conformist. Even "modern" democracy in Japan/Korea has a strong conformist nationalist streak to it. This is however not unique to just Asian culture nor is it a given. Heck, look at you and I..I am far from conformist and i've met many many asians who aren't as well..some of which even grew up in deeply conformist Asian environments. I'd go so far as to guess that maybe 20% of us aren't conformist at all. How do I come by that 1 in 5 number? Well, it's not scientific but I just figure that a lot of us "pretend" to be to please parents etc.. but if we are asked one on one by another like us we tell it how it is...sort of what i'm doing right now. I've met plenty of us that are that way to discount it as coincidence.

Now as far as the positive aspects goes..yes, there is a great proportion of Chinese society that is devoted to being workaholics and bespectacled academics. I don't feel this is negative at all because it is the catalyst for China to rise again and has allowed Taiwanese, Singaporeans, and other ethnic Chinese to enjoy a GDP per capita that is on par with many EU nations. You have to remember that all this economic development of Chinese people is a fairly recent thing. 100 years ago most ethnic Chinese were bitterly impoverished on the same level as Africans are these days. It's been a distinct advantage for our ethnicity to be studious and workaholics. On the other hand remember what I said about 20% of Chinese not being that way? Well, I feel that we fit into the bigger picture by being cultural reformers, creative thinkers, and idealists that every society needs to advance beyond the norm. Not everyone can do this but maybe it's our job to initiate this? We aren't worker bees..but we are clearly thinkers. Contrary to popular opinion I don't think Chinese or asian culture lacks creative thinkers. I think there is just "less" of a conduit for these thinkers to express themselves in most asian societies.

SE Asian culture such as the Phillipines, Thailand, Cambodia, etc.. may be more "happy go lucky" but it's also a lot less productive. The people are "happy" but there are plenty of Filipinos that I have seen work at nearly slave wage levels in the Middle east, Hong Kong, Singapore, etc.. who probably are being mistreated and aren't entirely thrilled of the fact that they are so far down the chain in the world. You have to remember the world does not exist on happiness alone or social ease it's a very dog eat dog place where sometimes conformity and productivity is the essence of survival. Nietzche said it best..what doesn't kill you only serves to make you stronger. Grueling hard work and shitty stone faced societies often produce greatness.

There's more I have to say about this subject but i'll talk to you later.

Regards,
David"
Last edited by Winston on Tue May 25, 2010 8:24 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Postby Repatriate » Mon May 24, 2010 8:41 pm

A few things that should be mentioned. A lot of the differences in experiences can also be chalked up to basically what kind of guy is considered attractive in the country. If a young culturally hip ABC guy dresses well and is a good "fit" for the country he's in (ie. Taiwan, China, HK, Singapore, etc..) he will do remarkably well. I have a lot of other ABC friends that have all raved about how good the mandarin speaking parts of Asia are for them. I even know some ABCs who clean up in Korea of all places too. It's all up to personal game Winston.

I haven't had many problems here in Thailand with dating the regular girls but I have been turned down flat because of my poor Thai language skills in the past. :lol:

You're attributing a lot of your own successes and failures and applying it to everyone without taking into consideration that personal variables account for a lot. There are only a few countries in the world where i'd say it's pretty difficult overall unless you're fantastically wealthy or good looking and that's the U.S.
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Postby globetrotter » Tue May 25, 2010 4:56 am

People smile to one another in my small town. Other cities not as much. Women sitting on the stoop with a child or grandchild, happy. Girls walking down the street arm in arm saying 'Hullo!' to me. Happens all the time.

I am not ABC, nor 20, nor a good looking young guy. I am 50, tall, handsome in a mid-20th C, Cary Grant sort of way. Definitely not a hot Bad Boy or a Brad Pitt type. A bit overweight but Chinese Food is taking care of that quickly.

I recommend getting on a plane and finding a small city of 50,000 surrounded by farms, 25km from a city of 400,000.
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Postby Rock » Tue May 25, 2010 7:05 am

Winston wrote:Ok then. Do you see people there often smiling and making eye contact with EACH OTHER then?

Btw, here is someone who wrote me who also mentioned that girls in China smile at him:



Winston

If its smiles, eye contact, and upfront warmness you're after, you might like Cali, Colombia. I got all kinds of smiles and warmness directed at me in malls and other public areas. People there are often open to casual chat-ups and if you go out with a girl, there is a good chance you can meet her family if that's what you want. Also, female strangers who I need to speak to for some reason will often address me as 'my love'. Now the other major Colombian cities - Medellin, Cartegena, and especially Bogota - have a comparatively colder atmosphere. Some other areas in Lat Am such as Peru might be good for this type of thing as well.

If you're really starved for upfront attention, go second tier cities in places like Ghana or Kenya. It will blow you away.
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Postby Winston » Tue May 25, 2010 8:33 am

Repatriate wrote:A few things that should be mentioned. A lot of the differences in experiences can also be chalked up to basically what kind of guy is considered attractive in the country. If a young culturally hip ABC guy dresses well and is a good "fit" for the country he's in (ie. Taiwan, China, HK, Singapore, etc..) he will do remarkably well. I have a lot of other ABC friends that have all raved about how good the mandarin speaking parts of Asia are for them. I even know some ABCs who clean up in Korea of all places too. It's all up to personal game Winston.

I haven't had many problems here in Thailand with dating the regular girls but I have been turned down flat because of my poor Thai language skills in the past. :lol:

You're attributing a lot of your own successes and failures and applying it to everyone without taking into consideration that personal variables account for a lot. There are only a few countries in the world where i'd say it's pretty difficult overall unless you're fantastically wealthy or good looking and that's the U.S.


This is true Repatriate. But you miss my main point. Even as a ghost, you can see how friendly a country is and how easy it is to meet people. You can see whether it's NATURAL or UNNATURAL to chat up strangers in public. Even if I were hot and hip, I can observe this objectively as a third person that has nothing to do with me. So it's not just about me, but about observing how people are in public and to each other.

So yeah, my attractiveness matters. But I am talking about overall.

In Russia for example I was not considered attractive by the culture or women's tastes. But girls were still VERY approachable there, cause it's part of the culture to be approachable.

See what I mean?

Theoretically though, even if I were hot and hip and wealthy and cool, how would it make any difference if I were in a society where people do not naturally talk to strangers unless it's business related? I'd still not meet anyone unless I was introduced or was involved in school or work there. I'm still have to be introduced through conventional means in order for my "hot qualities" to matter. But of course there are exceptions. I'm merely speaking in theory.

So again, you miss the big picture. I am speaking overall, not to everyone. And I am speaking about the NATURAL FLOW of things, that have NOTHING to do with me or my presence.

Simply walking into an airport in Japan, one can immediately see that it is NOT normal to talk to strangers or make eye contact or smile at others. Doesn't matter who you are. You can see this as a third person. Right away you get a sense of what's appropriate and what isn't.

THAT's the point I'm making. I'm referring to the NORMS, not the exceptions. Brad Pitt can go to an airport in Japan and get lots of stares and attention. But that's an EXCEPTION, NOT THE NORM. See what I mean?

Btw Repatriate, are you the guy who wrote the letter above from David?
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Postby wraith » Sat May 29, 2010 5:01 pm

To be honest, I get along fine with Taiwanese and other Chinese girls, there's really no conflict or contrasting opinions there. In fact, I think I have an easier time with girls of my own ethnic group/dialect group than other girls. I mean, each person is an individual.

If you know more Taiwanese than Mandarin, then in China, you could go to Zhangzhou, Quanzhou or Xiamen, those areas speak a language that's almost identical with Taiwanese. (It's a suggestion)
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Postby Winston » Fri Jun 04, 2010 8:16 am

Dano, Globetrotter,

What about hot Chinese women like these?

This one looks like a total sweetheart!

http://www.loveme.com/mp/info8.htm

http://www.loveme.com/invar/services/wo ... name=4_Pei

ImageImageImageImage

This one looks nice in a bikini, but I wonder why she chose a bikini photo as her main photo?

http://www.loveme.com/mp/info3.htm

Image

How can this one be 36? Have you ever seen a 36 year old woman look this good?

http://www.loveme.com/mp/info1.htm

Image
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Postby globetrotter » Fri Jun 04, 2010 9:50 am

What about them? My assistant is much prettier.

The good looking women look like that where I am, maybe not as light-skinned. The Schenzen divorcee is 136 pounds, on the fat side. That is why she is laying down with a frontal shot only.
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Postby Rock » Fri Jun 04, 2010 10:12 am

globetrotter wrote:What about them? My assistant is much prettier.

The good looking women look like that where I am, maybe not as light-skinned. The Schenzen divorcee is 136 pounds, on the fat side. That is why she is laying down with a frontal shot only.


136 lbs (62 kgs) on the fat side @168 cm? I could easily accept 70 kgs if she's shaped well (big in the right places). But this particular one has a child.

Winston, sometimes the photos can be very deceiving. Photos taken with direct sunlight shining on face can hide bad skin and wrinkles. Make-up can do the same.
Last edited by Rock on Fri Jun 04, 2010 10:26 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Postby globetrotter » Fri Jun 04, 2010 10:18 am

One other thing:

She is looking for a 'giving' man to start a family right away. Her child is 14.

On the mainland the PRC pays for school to age 13 after that the parents pay for Middle School, High School and University. Total cost about 30,000 Yuan for all 8 years, room and board and books and food in that price.

She needs someone to pay for her daughter to go to school.

Today. Right now.
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Postby Winston » Fri Jun 04, 2010 1:57 pm

globetrotter wrote:One other thing:

She is looking for a 'giving' man to start a family right away. Her child is 14.

On the mainland the PRC pays for school to age 13 after that the parents pay for Middle School, High School and University. Total cost about 30,000 Yuan for all 8 years, room and board and books and food in that price.

She needs someone to pay for her daughter to go to school.

Today. Right now.


Why do you always assume the worst? Maybe she's looking for old fashioned romantic love? lol

Her figure is ok. But how does she look so young? Is that common there?

This one is my favorite though. So pretty and charming.

http://www.loveme.com/invar/services/wo ... name=4_Pei

How attainable is she?

If you say "excuse me shau jie" to them on the street, will they stop and talk to you, usually?

Do these girls require men to be tall? Or only rich?
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Postby Repatriate » Fri Jun 04, 2010 2:16 pm

Winston wrote:Why do you always assume the worst? Maybe she's looking for old fashioned romantic love? lol

Romantic love in developing world countries is tied to monetary value. How much can a man provide..as long as he isn't a total dickhead as well.
Her figure is ok. But how does she look so young? Is that common there?

Photoshop or inconsequential rmb per hour ms painters who can gloss over her flaws.
This one is my favorite though. So pretty and charming.

Winston you like the ideal but the reality is much more difficult.
How attainable is she?

Do you have the cultural skills to get involved? Also..aren't you married?
If you say "excuse me shau jie" to them on the street, will they stop and talk to you, usually?

Yeah they will. But Shau Jie has the connotation of a hostess or a prostitute these days. You might want to use alternative language.
Do these girls require men to be tall? Or only rich?

American women don't even really need tall men..just assertive men :).
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Postby momopi » Fri Jun 04, 2010 2:46 pm

Winston wrote:If you say "excuse me shau jie" to them on the street, will they stop and talk to you, usually?


If you're dining at a restaurant (in China) and need to summon a waitress, ask for "fu wu yuen" and not "shao jie". Do not refer to any women in China of respectable profession "shao jie". When a pimp calls your hotel room and ask if you want a girl, that's when you use "shao jie".

People in China use Chinese differently from Taiwan. i.e. in China they use "Sheng" (can do) for affirmative. I do not live in China, so someone else who is more familiar with differences in language usage can probably give better examples.



Winston wrote:Do these girls require men to be tall? Or only rich?


http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Miai
http://www.chinatravel.net/forum/Findin ... /2653.html
Last edited by momopi on Fri Jun 04, 2010 6:41 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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