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Taiwan is Boring, Repressed, Loveless, etc.

Discuss culture, living, traveling, relocating, dating or anything related to the Asian countries - China, The Philippines, Thailand, etc.

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Taiwan is Boring, Repressed, Loveless, etc.

Postby Winston » Sun Aug 08, 2010 6:39 pm

Note: These posts have been split from the Larry Elterman interview thread, since they were off topic there and getting numerous, so I moved them into this new thread.

Thanks,
Winston


------------------------------------------------------

Rock wrote:Great interview Larry. Wish it had been even longer and more detailed. I can tell you're brimming with knowledge about the most popular part of Abroad on Winston's site.

I'm guessing the Chinese gals you approached were Filipina Chinese for the most part. I'm not surprised you got a cold reception. I think a lot of the Chinese in countries where westerners tend to be seen with bar girls try to avoid associating with us. They see themselves as set apart from the more indigenous locals and above their poverty and hard life, even if they come from a relatively modest family.

BTW, first follow-up question: Do those high interest rate opportunities with regional banks still exist? Can you post some fresh info on this forum about that?


I thought this interview pretty much covered everything and answered the important questions.

I don't think he was just talking about Filipina Chinese, but about Chinese people in general he's met throughout his life, even in America. The way he said that signified that, when he said "I've never met ANY Chinese person and clicked with them".

I remember back in the 80's when my dad took me to this event for adults. While the parents were doing something upstairs (maybe it was some class or lecture) me and the kids were downstairs. At first I sat on the stairs and talked to two white American girls. They talked back to me and agreed with me about stuff and said "Yeah I know. Totally." But when they left after a while, I was stuck with lots of Chinese kids in the basement. For like 3 hours, the kids played with each other and ran around, and not a single one looked at me, talked to me, or even said hi. Very cold no doubt.

But that's a common experience around Chinese people. The majority of them are like that, even in the US. Just cold cold cold. I can't understand why they are like that. I'm not.

Generally, East Asians (aka Orientals) are just cold and cliquish, even in America. Not all, but most. You can be in a crowded place of Chinese people, sit or stand for many hours and not one person will glance at you or smile. There's this ice cold barrier between them that's not just a barrier. It's like they are inhuman and not even there. It's really weird and hard to describe.

Deep down they are kind of cold and business like. The difference is not something that can be put into words, only felt.

It's like they don't really need people or social interaction. My parents can never socialize and feel fine with it. They don't need people and do not expect anyone to need them.

For example, when I was lonely and crying in America, I'd call my cousins hoping that they'd come over and spend time with me, and expecting that they'd CARE about me cause they are family and on TV it shows that families care for each other. But they didn't give a f**k. So, even with 53 cousins, I cannot call any of them and say that I'm lonely and ask them to come and keep me company. They don't give a f**k and only want to work and make money. When I see my cousins for instance or their kids, there's no feeling of friendship or warmth. They just pretend to be polite but deep down they couldn't care less about me and would never hang out as friends. (despite the fact that I call them "brother or sister" in Chinese culture, which is odd considering they don't give a flying f**k about me and NEVER call me or email me, even when I ask them to!)

I can't even have a normal conversation with them without feeling awkward, like I'm talking to a cold reptile that does not feel or think. Even with my parents it's like that. The conversation and vibes with most Chinese simply does NOT FLOW NATURALLY OR OPENLY IN ANY SENSE OF THE WORD! Not even with my parents. IT'S ALWAYS AWKWARD AS HELL!

So weird, but true. I know a person is never supposed to say these kind of things (as it's taboo to say anything except "people are so kind and wonderful here" as they do on the Travel Channel) but that's honestly how I feel and what I've experienced.

Sorry for the rant and going off topic. Perhaps this post belongs in the Rants and Raves section. But I just wanted to get this off my chest since the topic came up in the interview. And I'm glad Larry admitted it and was honest about it, instead of being politically correct like on the Travel Channel.

Today, even my dad said after watching the Travel Channel, at the end when the host said "the people here were so kind and wonderful!", my dad said "They say that at the end of EVERY episode" like there's never any exception. Even he is beginning to catch on to the fake political correctness. That's why I hate mainstream programming.

Anyhow, I'm beginning to think that it's hopeless for me to try to thrive or work with Chinese culture and people. I can't even hold a f***ing normal conversation with them! They are just so God damn different! My God! Different in a way I can't even put into words!

(I suspect that Ladislav had a similar experience with the Japanese)

So I think it's hopeless and that any action with Chinese women and me will have to be with "working girls". For romance I'd have to stick with Filipinas or Latin women.

Of course, I've never been to mainland China, so that's an unknown factor. But knowing what I know about Chinese culture, I'd estimate that the difference might be 20 or 30 percent due to the poverty of the people there, but it's not going to be a 100 percent difference.

Anyhow, back to the topic of the interview. What did the rest of you think? I will be sending it out to my mailing list soon.
Last edited by Winston on Sun Nov 11, 2012 8:09 am, edited 6 times in total.
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Postby globetrotter » Sun Aug 08, 2010 6:58 pm

Winston wrote:Generally, East Asians (aka Orientals) are just cold and cliquish, even in America. Not all, but most. You can be in a crowded place of Chinese people, sit or stand for many hours and not one person will glance at you or smile. There's this ice cold barrier between them that's not just a barrier. It's like they are inhuman and not even there. It's really weird and hard to describe.

Deep down they are kind of cold and business like. The difference is not something that can be put into words, only felt.

It's like they don't really need people or social interaction. My parents can never socialize and feel fine with it. They don't need people and do not expect anyone to need them.

For example, when I was lonely and crying in America, I'd call my cousins hoping that they'd come over and spend time with me, and expecting that they'd CARE about me cause they are family and on TV it shows that families care for each other. But they didn't give a f**k. So, even with 53 cousins, I cannot call any of them and say that I'm lonely and ask them to come and keep me company.


Rural mainland PRC is nothing like this.
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Postby Winston » Sun Aug 08, 2010 7:03 pm

globetrotter wrote:
Winston wrote:Generally, East Asians (aka Orientals) are just cold and cliquish, even in America. Not all, but most. You can be in a crowded place of Chinese people, sit or stand for many hours and not one person will glance at you or smile. There's this ice cold barrier between them that's not just a barrier. It's like they are inhuman and not even there. It's really weird and hard to describe.

Deep down they are kind of cold and business like. The difference is not something that can be put into words, only felt.

It's like they don't really need people or social interaction. My parents can never socialize and feel fine with it. They don't need people and do not expect anyone to need them.

For example, when I was lonely and crying in America, I'd call my cousins hoping that they'd come over and spend time with me, and expecting that they'd CARE about me cause they are family and on TV it shows that families care for each other. But they didn't give a f**k. So, even with 53 cousins, I cannot call any of them and say that I'm lonely and ask them to come and keep me company.


Rural mainland PRC is nothing like this.


Globetrotter, you said you'd like to be interviewed by Steve. Have you contacted him yet? It would be great to hear you interviewed too. You are personable and down to earth and no-nonsense, which is what Steve likes, and I do too. I noticed that after I talked to you on the phone.

Hope you'll contact him and do an interview sometime.
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Postby Rock » Sun Aug 08, 2010 7:08 pm

Winston wrote:
I don't think he was just talking about Filipina Chinese, but about Chinese people in general he's met throughout his life, even in America. The way he said that signified that, when he said "I've never met ANY Chinese person and clicked with them".

I remember back in the 80's when my dad took me to this event for adults. While the parents were doing something upstairs (maybe it was some class or lecture) me and the kids were downstairs. At first I sat on the stairs and talked to two white American girls. They talked back to me and agreed with me about stuff and said "Yeah I know. Totally." But when they left after a while, I was stuck with lots of Chinese kids in the basement. For like 3 hours, the kids played with each other and ran around, and not a single one looked at me, talked to me, or even said hi. Very cold no doubt.

But that's a common experience around Chinese people. I swear. The majority of them are like that, even in the US. Just cold cold cold. I can't understand why they are like that. I'm not.

Generally, East Asians (aka Orientals) are just cold and cliquish, even in America. Not all, but most. You can be in a crowded place of Chinese people, sit or stand for many hours and not one person will glance at you or smile. There's this ice cold barrier between them that's not just a barrier. It's like they are inhuman and not even there. It's really weird and hard to describe.

Deep down they are kind of cold and business like. The difference is not something that can be put into words, only felt.

It's like they don't really need people or social interaction. My parents can never socialize and feel fine with it. They don't need people and do not expect anyone to need them.

For example, when I was lonely and crying in America, I'd call my cousins hoping that they'd come over and spend time with me, and expecting that they'd CARE about me cause they are family and on TV it shows that families care for each other. But they didn't give a f**k. So, even with 53 cousins, I cannot call any of them and say that I'm lonely and ask them to come and keep me company. They don't give a f**k and only want to work and make money. When I see my cousins for instance or their kids, there's no feeling of friendship or warmth. They just pretend to be polite but deep down they couldn't care less about me and would never hang out as friends. (despite the fact that I call them "brother or sister" in Chinese culture, which is odd considering they don't give a flying f**k about me and NEVER call me or email me, even when I ask them to!)

I can't even have a normal conversation with them without feeling awkward, like I'm talking to a cold reptile that does not feel or think. Even with my parents it's like that. The conversation and vibes with most Chinese simply does NOT FLOW NATURALLY OR OPENLY IN ANY SENSE OF THE WORD! Not even with my parents. IT'S ALWAYS AWKWARD AS HELL!

So weird, but true. I know a person is never supposed to say these kind of things (as it's taboo to say anything except "people are so kind and wonderful here" as they do on the Travel Channel) but that's honestly how I feel and what I've experienced.

Sorry for the rant and going off topic. Perhaps this post belongs in the Rants and Raves section. But I just wanted to get this off my chest since the topic came up in the interview. And I'm glad Larry admitted it and was honest about it, instead of being politically correct like on the Travel Channel.

Today, even my dad said after watching the Travel Channel, at the end when the host said "the people here were so kind and wonderful!", my dad said "They say that at the end of EVERY episode" like there's never any exception. Even he is beginning to catch on to the fake political correctness. That's why I hate mainstream programming.

Anyhow, I'm beginning to think that it's hopeless for me to try to thrive or work with Chinese culture and people. I can't even hold a f***ing normal conversation with Chinese people! They are just so God damn different! My God! Different in a way I can't even put into words!

(I suspect that Ladislav had a similar experience with the Japanese)

So I think it's hopeless and that any action with Chinese women and me will have to be with "working girls". For romance I'd have to stick with Filipinas or Latin women.

Of course, I've never been to mainland China, so that's an unknown factor. But knowing what I know about Chinese culture, I'd estimate that the difference might be 20 or 30 percent due to the poverty of the people there, but it's not going to be a 100 percent difference.


Your attitude about Chinese is about as positive as Steve's is about America.
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Postby momopi » Sun Aug 08, 2010 7:22 pm

Winston wrote:For example, when I was lonely and crying in America, I'd call my cousins hoping that they'd come over and spend time with me, and expecting that they'd CARE about me cause they are family and on TV it shows that families care for each other. But they didn't give a f**k. So, even with 53 cousins, I cannot call any of them and say that I'm lonely and ask them to come and keep me company. They don't give a f**k and only want to work and make money. When I see my cousins for instance or their kids, there's no feeling of friendship or warmth. They just pretend to be polite but deep down they couldn't care less about me and would never hang out as friends. (despite the fact that I call them "brother or sister" in Chinese culture, which is odd considering they don't give a flying f**k about me and NEVER call me or email me, even when I ask them to!)


Man they didn't want to be around you, because you weren't being fun.

When I call my cousins and ask them to come help me move, they either don't show up or show up late for the pizza.

When I say "hey let's go fishing tomorrow", by gawd they all show up early at the boat dock with fishing rods in hand.

My aunt is a professional women's skeet shooter, and my cousins run away whenever she calls. Nobody likes a sore shoulder, haha.

Image
Last edited by momopi on Sun Aug 08, 2010 7:29 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Postby Winston » Sun Aug 08, 2010 8:50 pm

Rock wrote:
Your attitude about Chinese is about as positive as Steve's is about America.


No, it's worse. But it's not my attitude. It's my experiences and feelings. I swear to God they are true and I am describing what I've experienced. The incident I described in San Francisco happened. I swear it. 3 hours of Chinese kids around me and not one talked to me or looked at me or said anything to me. How would that make you feel? Why should I deny it? I'm telling the truth, and truth is what matters. Why should I lie? This isn't about one incident, it's a lifelong pattern.

I'm willing to pay money if you or anyone can show me Chinese people who are open and direct and natural and easy to talk you, like me and Steve are. I KNOW I'm not wrong.

I'm so sick of the 0.000000000000000000000000000000 attention I get from Chinese. I can't stand it. It's disgusting and unbearable. Sometimes I feel like I want to do something appalling in public or cause a scene, just to get any attention at all. That's how bad it is. Horrible horrible beyond words.
Last edited by Winston on Sun Aug 08, 2010 9:02 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Postby Winston » Sun Aug 08, 2010 8:58 pm

momopi wrote:
Winston wrote:For example, when I was lonely and crying in America, I'd call my cousins hoping that they'd come over and spend time with me, and expecting that they'd CARE about me cause they are family and on TV it shows that families care for each other. But they didn't give a f**k. So, even with 53 cousins, I cannot call any of them and say that I'm lonely and ask them to come and keep me company. They don't give a f**k and only want to work and make money. When I see my cousins for instance or their kids, there's no feeling of friendship or warmth. They just pretend to be polite but deep down they couldn't care less about me and would never hang out as friends. (despite the fact that I call them "brother or sister" in Chinese culture, which is odd considering they don't give a flying f**k about me and NEVER call me or email me, even when I ask them to!)


Man they didn't want to be around you, because you weren't being fun.

When I call my cousins and ask them to come help me move, they either don't show up or show up late for the pizza.

When I say "hey let's go fishing tomorrow", by gawd they all show up early at the boat dock with fishing rods in hand.

My aunt is a professional women's skeet shooter, and my cousins run away whenever she calls. Nobody likes a sore shoulder, haha.

Image


???????????????

Don't you know anything about Chinese people? They aren't about fun. They are about work, money and status. Very stiff. They are the least likely to care about fun.

I am not unfun. You know that. I am an interesting person with a lot to share. Lots of people find me very fascinating, unique and with a lot to share. I have tons of interests.

You have to remember that cousins are not automatically real friends. If you have nothing in common with them, they aren't going to call you or email you and they will only see you when their parents and yours get together. Not always, but most of the time that's the way it is.

Ask the people on this forum, how many of you are real friends with your cousins and call/email each other?

On TV families and relatives are much more loving and caring than in real life.

So I don't see why fun has anything to do with it, especially when they themselves aren't fun at all. It not like they asked me to do something fun and I refused and was a party pooper.

That theory is illogical and doesn't make sense.

Why do you assume that the complainer is always the problem and not those he is complaining about? Based on what logic? That the majority is always right in any country? If so, how come the majority changes when you go to different countries? Assuming that the complainer is always the problem is like the Salem Witch Hunt. It's a delusion and fallacy.

Sure you're smarter than that?!
Last edited by Winston on Sun Aug 08, 2010 9:21 pm, edited 3 times in total.
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Postby momopi » Mon Aug 09, 2010 12:49 am

Winston wrote:Don't you know anything about Chinese people? They aren't about fun. They are about work, money and status. Very stiff. They are the least likely to care about fun.


...and playing basketball, tennis, the piano, fishing, Weiqi (Go) in the park, cooking/eating/dining out, reading comic books, soaking in hot springs at Wulai, cold springs in Yilan, having tea and steamed buns at Maokong, singing at "Cash Box" KTV, catching shrimp, swimming at the beach, hiking through the mountains, weekend trip to Penghu, date at love hotel (cough), etc. etc. etc.


Keelung, Taiwan: (you'd find my father there with fishing rod in hand)
Image

Wulai, Taipei:
Image
Image

Atayal (pop. >80,000) tribal girls of 烏來鄉:
Image


There's no point in bitching over what happened 2-3 decades ago. You have cousins in TW right? It's probably kinda hot in TW right now. Why don't you call your relatives and suggest a trip to Su-Ao Cold Springs (蘇澳冷泉)?

Image
Image
Image

It's not as fun as Xcaret but much closer and cheaper. Other points of interest: http://yilan-life.e-land.gov.tw/release ... ageID=3633

If they're non-vegetarian, take them to Jiaoshi afterwards and eat chicken here: (they have many veggie dishes too)
http://www.0918717288.com/

Image



Or, how about a trip to the beach at Kenting?

Image
Image
Image (Kenting Music festival, April 2010)

It's much nicer to swim in Kenting (sandy beach) than Su-Ao (rocks & sudden drops).

Dude, you're in Taiwan. There's a lot of fun places to go and foods to eat, everything is very affordable too. Your parents are retired right? Ask them if they want to take a short trip to Penghu.



Winston wrote:Don't you know anything about Chinese people? They aren't about fun. They are about work, money and status. Very stiff. They are the least likely to care about fun.


I've dated a number of girls from TW and speaking from personal experience, they find guys who talk about work and money to be boring. However, at the same time, they wouldn't consider marrying someone who is poor either. Girls like exciting men who will lead them by the hand and take them to places, not "all talk and no action" guys.
Last edited by momopi on Mon Aug 09, 2010 1:49 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Postby Rock » Mon Aug 09, 2010 1:46 am

Winston wrote:
Rock wrote:
Your attitude about Chinese is about as positive as Steve's is about America.


No, it's worse. But it's not my attitude. It's my experiences and feelings. I swear to God they are true and I am describing what I've experienced. The incident I described in San Francisco happened. I swear it. 3 hours of Chinese kids around me and not one talked to me or looked at me or said anything to me. How would that make you feel? Why should I deny it? I'm telling the truth, and truth is what matters. Why should I lie? This isn't about one incident, it's a lifelong pattern.

I'm willing to pay money if you or anyone can show me Chinese people who are open and direct and natural and easy to talk you, like me and Steve are. I KNOW I'm not wrong.

I'm so sick of the 0.000000000000000000000000000000 attention I get from Chinese. I can't stand it. It's disgusting and unbearable. Sometimes I feel like I want to do something appalling in public or cause a scene, just to get any attention at all. That's how bad it is. Horrible horrible beyond words.


I don't doubt your experience in the least. I totally believe you.

Truth is, people act very different towards different people. The attention and reactions I got out of other kids and adults when I was growing-up was radically different than what my sister received.

For whatever reason, most Chinese you encounter in America and perhaps Taiwan probably don't like you. They may think you're weird or creepy and for no fault of your own. And the fact that you crave their attention so much only makes it worse. You're just on a very different wavelength than they are. Some others including westerners have similar experiences and perceptions as you. But then there are others, both western and Asian, who don't. Some may even have experiences which are opposite to yours. It depends on the person and a lot of other things too.

Don't feel bad about your cousins. I sure don't have as many as you. But they ignore me all the same. When I moved to my second high school during my junior year, I thought I had it made. One of my cousins, a girl, went to that school, was in my same class, and was very popular. Guess what? She didn't even acknowledge me as a relative. In the whole two years, we probably exchanged no more than a few polite sentences and only when situations forced it. That's when I learned, popular sisters and cousins will not help you. You're on your own in the tough American social environment. If you're not popular, if you're a loner type, you gotta be independent and carve out your own life whatever it may be.

I'm glad that I at least came from a country and background which provided the resources to explore the whole world and find my own niches.
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Postby Rock » Mon Aug 09, 2010 2:09 am

momopi wrote:
Winston wrote:Don't you know anything about Chinese people? They aren't about fun. They are about work, money and status. Very stiff. They are the least likely to care about fun.


...and playing basketball, tennis, the piano, fishing, Weiqi (Go) in the park, cooking/eating/dining out, reading comic books, soaking in hot springs at Wulai, cold springs in Yilan, having tea and steamed buns at Maokong, singing at "Cash Box" KTV, catching shrimp, swimming at the beach, hiking through the mountains, weekend trip to Penghu, date at love hotel (cough), etc. etc. etc.



My French tenant recently checked-out. He was just in Taiwan for a few months but he sure got a lot out of it. I interviewed him in detail about all the countries he's spent time in / lived in and looked through his photos which are very impressive, especially the ones for Brazil and Taiwan.

He's been to Kending (for that music festival), Penghu, and the Hualian area for white water rafting. He knew about 50 local girls at his exchange university (Chenchi), many other foreign students, both male and female, and lots of gals he met in bars and lounges and on his trips. He would go out clubbing on most Wednesdays, Fridays, and Saturdays he was in Taipei.

He didn't speak Chinese and even his English was not that great. But he had an open mind about everything and hung around a lot of interesting foreign students. Guys like him get automatic attention. He doesn't even have to approach girls. He told me that in clubs, he starts out with his group of foreign student friends and at some point, groups of girls will position themselves to dance with them or invite them to their table for drinks. Most of the 1 night stands are office girls (24-28 age range). They get some action from young students too but it tends to be more hugging and kissing at the club, not take-away.

BTW, he tried to date his first pull but she blew him off once she sensed him getting serious. His impression is that many of the club gals he met wanted only a b***y call sort of arrangement, not a real relationship. Perhaps his filthy room put them off.

I'll share a lot more, both negative and positive, when I post the interview highlights.
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Postby globetrotter » Tue Aug 10, 2010 2:10 pm

Winston wrote:No, it's worse. But it's not my attitude. It's my experiences and feelings. I swear to God they are true and I am describing what I've experienced. The incident I described in San Francisco happened. I swear it. 3 hours of Chinese kids around me and not one talked to me or looked at me or said anything to me. How would that make you feel? Why should I deny it? I'm telling the truth, and truth is what matters. Why should I lie? This isn't about one incident, it's a lifelong pattern.

I'm willing to pay money if you or anyone can show me Chinese people who are open and direct and natural and easy to talk you, like me and Steve are. I KNOW I'm not wrong.


So for 3 hours you sat near all these Chinese kids and you did not talk to one or look at one or initiate a conversation?
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Postby Winston » Thu Aug 12, 2010 2:45 pm

momopi wrote:Dude, you're in Taiwan. There's a lot of fun places to go and foods to eat, everything is very affordable too. Your parents are retired right? Ask them if they want to take a short trip to Penghu.

Winston wrote:Don't you know anything about Chinese people? They aren't about fun. They are about work, money and status. Very stiff. They are the least likely to care about fun.


I've dated a number of girls from TW and speaking from personal experience, they find guys who talk about work and money to be boring. However, at the same time, they wouldn't consider marrying someone who is poor either. Girls like exciting men who will lead them by the hand and take them to places, not "all talk and no action" guys.


Dude, anyone can post pictures like that. But let's look at reality here. It doesn't matter where I go in Taiwan. NO ONE IS GOING TO TALK TO ME. The only people that might are elderly people. With young people, esp women, there is ZERO eye contact, and if I walk up to them, they will avoid me cause they can sense that I want to speak with them and it scares them.

To me, everyone ignoring me is NO FUN at all! I hate that! But what can I do? People do not want to talk to me, even for business.

Get this. The other week I bought some boots for Dianne at a night market in TW. The girls didn't even want to help me, even though it was their job. So, TW girls won't even talk to me for BUSINESS REASONS!

That's worse than America, cause in America the women will talk to you if it's for business purposes!

MY GOD!

They looked grumpy and miserable. Maybe they were tired of being at the night market. But I certainly didn't bring out the best in them.

How can zero attention be fun for you?!

NO ONE talks to me. I get 0.000000000000000000000000000 social interaction.

All that repressed stiff energy in Taiwan does NOT make me feel normal at all. I feel like I can't even be myself. I talked to Ladislav on Skype about this yesterday. He said there's nothing I can do about it and no logical solution. He also said he felt the same in Japan.

Ladislav also said that Japanese people didn't like his vibes and would avoid him sometimes. Same thing happened to him in Thailand.

He also agreed with me that in Oriental cultures (confucian asian), usually the elderly are the only ones that talk to strangers easily. Not the young people. That is obvious and he agreed. Yet why does no one mention this publicly? Why is it a taboo to talk about?

Now, if Ladislav says there is no logical solution, then what logical solution can you give?

Remember when you and I went to the night market together last year and walked around? Same thing happened. No one looked at us. Everyone was very closed. Even when I took out my camera, you told me to put it away, and you said "I wouldn't take that out. Someone might beat you up if they see you filming them."

I told Globetrotter that on the phone yesterday. He said "That would never happen where I am in China. It's ok to film people at a night market here".

How can a society be fun if you can't even take out a camera?

Besides, I do not find the scenic landscapes, beaches or architecture/museums in Taiwan to be very pretty or interesting, even for a solo meditative adventure. The air is humid, I can't breathe, and I tire easily here. I don't like Asian climates.

It's not like Arizona where I can spend a lot of time out in nature alone cause I love it.

Taiwan doesn't have any of this for example:
http://www.happierabroad.com/Southwest_Photos.htm

Plus the culture is against me here. Even my dad said "You can't meet girls in TW like you do in the Philippines. You can't just chat them up on the street here."

As to my cousins, they all have their own lives and families and would have no time to do anything if I called them. Nor would they make time. They just force themselves to be polite. Like I told you, cousins are not automatic friends. They only come see you when their parents come to see your parents.

Didn't you know that?

You can't just call them up like you do with your friends. It's not that kind of vibe at all. And they know it.

Bottom line: Nothing flows naturally here at all. Period. Not even normal conversations. People are on a bizarre frequency here that I don't understand. And everything feels so STIFF, more stiff than a rusted bolt!

So what can I do???

Ladislav can understand or relate to this. So why can't you?

Maybe you have a Chinese/Taiwanese soul Momopi.

But I don't.

A psychic I met in Berkeley in 1991 told me that I was American in my past life, and died in a Chinese prison during the Korean War. She said I died with a hatred for the Chinese, and so I became one to work out that karma and try to forgive them.

Perhaps that is why I don't have a "Chinese soul" like you do?

Some ABC's do have a Chinese soul, believe it or not. For example, Janet Hsieh, host of Travel Channel's "Taiwan Fun" grew up in Texas but she says she's "100 percent Taiwanese" which means she has a Taiwanese soul.

So not all ABC's are like me. Some are like you. They have a Chinese/Taiwanese soul.
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Postby Winston » Thu Aug 12, 2010 2:59 pm

Rock wrote:
I don't doubt your experience in the least. I totally believe you.

Truth is, people act very different towards different people. The attention and reactions I got out of other kids and adults when I was growing-up was radically different than what my sister received.

For whatever reason, most Chinese you encounter in America and perhaps Taiwan probably don't like you. They may think you're weird or creepy and for no fault of your own. And the fact that you crave their attention so much only makes it worse. You're just on a very different wavelength than they are. Some others including westerners have similar experiences and perceptions as you. But then there are others, both western and Asian, who don't. Some may even have experiences which are opposite to yours. It depends on the person and a lot of other things too.

Don't feel bad about your cousins. I sure don't have as many as you. But they ignore me all the same. When I moved to my second high school during my junior year, I thought I had it made. One of my cousins, a girl, went to that school, was in my same class, and was very popular. Guess what? She didn't even acknowledge me as a relative. In the whole two years, we probably exchanged no more than a few polite sentences and only when situations forced it. That's when I learned, popular sisters and cousins will not help you. You're on your own in the tough American social environment. If you're not popular, if you're a loner type, you gotta be independent and carve out your own life whatever it may be.

I'm glad that I at least came from a country and background which provided the resources to explore the whole world and find my own niches.


Well at least you're one step ahead of Momopi, and you understand the role of "vibes" and energy, whereas he doesn't believe in that stuff and doesn't factor it into his equation. But Momopi is very smart and knowledgeable no doubt. It's just that his view of reality is not as open and metaphysical based.

A lot of Chinese girls when they look at me, automatically decide that they don't like me. Something about the way I carry myself turns them off. Or maybe they sense that I don't have a "Chinese soul".

It's not all about looks.

Did you tell your classmates that she was your cousin? Did they know? Wouldn't your cousin's enemies use it against her that she was stuck up to you?

A psychic in Berkeley said I was American in my past life. That might be why I've never really felt Chinese. I don't know.

On the other hand, in the PH everyone gives me a look of respect and admiration, more so than they usually give white foreigners. I never get nasty stares from the guys there, even when I'm rude to them or tell them off.
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Postby Winston » Thu Aug 12, 2010 3:53 pm

swincor_ wrote:Then WTF are you still doing in Taiwan?

You don't seem to be the adventurous, bold guy you make yourself out to be. Far from it.

On the contrary, you actually come off as complacent and sluggish, choosing to passively accept a dissatisfying situation rather than show any willingness to take steps to remedy it.

We have seen this pussified attitude from you all too often before.

And since you refuse to get off your ass to find solutions to problems, you deserve the misery you get.


I'm working on stuff. I am adventurous. I was adventurous in Utah and Arizona, even though I was alone. See here:

http://www.happierabroad.com/Southwest_Photos.htm

Taiwan is boring and not that pretty. The girls are all look and don't touch. No one makes eye contact with me.

What solution is there?

If the expert expat Ladislav tells me there is no solution, then what solution do you have?

Give me one that works, that gets me attention in Taiwan, and fun and gets girls to open up to me, and I'll pay you for it.

Otherwise, you are all BS and only here to bring others down. See my warning to you in the announcements board.
Check out the latest posts in our blog The Happier Abroaders.

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Postby Winston » Thu Aug 12, 2010 3:55 pm

globetrotter wrote:
Winston wrote:No, it's worse. But it's not my attitude. It's my experiences and feelings. I swear to God they are true and I am describing what I've experienced. The incident I described in San Francisco happened. I swear it. 3 hours of Chinese kids around me and not one talked to me or looked at me or said anything to me. How would that make you feel? Why should I deny it? I'm telling the truth, and truth is what matters. Why should I lie? This isn't about one incident, it's a lifelong pattern.

I'm willing to pay money if you or anyone can show me Chinese people who are open and direct and natural and easy to talk you, like me and Steve are. I KNOW I'm not wrong.


So for 3 hours you sat near all these Chinese kids and you did not talk to one or look at one or initiate a conversation?


Come on now. You are simplifying things. Of course I tried to talk to them and looked at them, but they didn't answer. You know it when people don't want to talk to you or acknowledge you. Chinese tend to be like that, cold and cliquish. Even kids sometimes.
Check out the latest posts in our blog The Happier Abroaders.

Don't forget my HA Grand Ebook and Dating Sites!

"It takes far less effort to find and move to the society that has what you want than it does to try to reconstruct an existing society to match your standards." - Harry Browne, How I Found Freedom in an Unfree World
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