Taiwan is Boring, Repressed, Loveless, etc.

Discuss culture, living, traveling, relocating, dating or anything related to the Asian countries - China, The Philippines, Thailand, etc.
Repatriate
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Post by Repatriate »

Winston wrote:Dear Repatriate:

I don't get why you have this double standard of thinking that if someone says positive things about me, then it must be polite flattery and not true, but if someone says negative things about me, then it must be true.
Because you are an obsessive person that takes people's praises to heart and uses it to pump up your ego and perceived "legendary" status. It's painfully obvious for anyone that has read your posts to see what's going on.
So why do you act like me being nice, open and friendly is an extreme claim?
I never said it was extreme. I think you have basic social skills..that much is for certain. I don't think you are suffering from asperger's or something and I don't believe you are a "bad" person per se. I believe my exact words were that you're emotionally fragile, childish, and narcissistic. To me that points to someone who is in fact very very insecure and tries hard to compensate for it. The way you lash out in the most over the top ways at criticism and your general neurotic behavior lends credence to that theory.

Your personality type is actually pretty common. It has nothing to do with whether you're nice or not. I think you probably actually have a personality disorder of sorts as well. I don't know though but your medical history is none of my business.
Also, why do you fail to understand what a "hive mind" is? It's not some far out sci fi concept. It simply means that people follow the pack or herd. Not just that they use yahoo messenger or MSN messenger. They have the same values and beliefs. For example, Asians believe that the purpose of life is to work and be productive, and to raise a family too. That's not an independent belief they came to through deep philosophical thinking. That's a cultural belief and norm that they follow because society says so and everyone else does it.
There are plenty of individuals in Asia and elsewhere who don't follow this societal pattern also so what's your point? Their choices in life are no less or more valid than those who do "follow" the herd as you so simplistically put it. Working, being productive, and starting a family are urges that aren't so much dictated just by society but one part of the whole function of wanting to procreate and pass into the gene pool.
That's what the hive is. Why is that hard for you to understand? Is your IQ below average? Sheesh.
Because your definition of it is obtuse and your reasoning is totally absurd.
Here's a lesson for you Repatriate: Just because two things are incompatible, doesn't mean that there is something wrong with one of them.
You should take your own (poor) analogies to heart and stop pretending you're above it all like it's high school and you think you live a supposedly non conventional lifestyle with a unique mindset.


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momopi
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Post by momopi »

Quem deus vult perdere, dementat prius.

Social norms are the behavioral expectations of a society. If you lived in a head-hunting tribe, hunting heads would be considered normal. Many of Taiwan's tribes were head hunters -- Atayal, Paiwan, Saiset, etc. Head hunting was an important part of their religious rituals. Instead of going to church, they went out and chopped heads.

When Qing ceded Taiwan to Japan in 1895, the pro-Qing Han immigrants in Taiwan declared Republic of Formosa with a tiger banner to fight against the Japanese. They lasted only 184 days. But soon the Japanese discovered that the 100,000+ tribals in the mountains were the real tigers of Formosa. Whenever the Japanese sent their men into the mountains, heads went missing. Finally the Japanese decided to build the great wall of Taiwan -- "aiyu-sen", a 300 mile long guard line around the aboriginal territory.

The guard line typically consists of a wire fence with 20 feet of clearing on both sides. Some parts were electrified. Every 1/2 mile or so, there was a guard house with 2-3 military police stationed there, and every couple of miles they built a superintendent station with alarm systems. The 300 mile long aiyu-sen had 184 superintendent stations and many hundreds of military police and local Formosan (Taiwanese) police officers. In some areas they built bullet-proof bunkers, and the police were armed with everything from pistols to rifles and grenades.

Even with the great aiyu-sen, from 1900-1903, there were 1,132 recorded attacks by the tribal folks, killing 1,900 people -- many had their heads taken. Needless to say, working on the guard line was very dangerous, and some guard stations had to replace its staff on frequent basis because, the previous guards lost their heads (literally). This went on for decades, until the last major incident in 1930, when a Atayal chief took 1,200 warriors to war and killed or injured ~350 Japanese. The Japanese military responded with artillery and poison gas, finally putting down the natives by sheer firepower. But that was not the last of the head hunters preying on the Japanese. During WW2 the Dayak tribals in Borneo would hunt another ~1,500 Japanese heads.

From anthropology perspective, the Taiwanese head hunters were perfectly norm in their own cultural context. 100 years from now, the anthropologists of the future will probably look back and think of us as being perfectly norm in our current (2010) cultural context.

But, if you were a Japanese in 1900 stationed on the aiyu-sen and saw 30 tribal warriors with large head chopping swords coming after you, your perception would be quite different.

Image

http://www.taipeitimes.com/News/taiwan/ ... 03469704/1
keius
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Post by keius »

I have to admit, Repatriate seems on the ball on much of what he said.

Winston, you seem like a nice guy but you do come off as being almost exactly Repatriate's description. Ego is all good but i've learned as i've grown older that sometimes i've needed to stop and really take a good look at myself, my views, but mostly how i come off to others. I've also learned to take criticism and take it for what it's worth, if it's not accompanied by lots of cussing and insults :P

You make alot of good points, and alot of points i disagree with. You make some good arguments sometimes but you need to stop tossing insults when you feel that you are being attacked. Repatriate is keeping it civil for the most part. Statements like "Is your IQ below average?" just makes it look like you are losing an argument and are resorting to those same insults you feel are being directed at you. I NEVER resort to profanity and insults(online at least) because it means you've already lost. There is a big difference between criticism and insults.

From the way you 'sell' your image, you do come off as having a bit of an ego. Reminds me a little of myself when i was younger, but i was only like that with the women...they hated it LOL.

Like i said, you seem like a pretty nice guy BUT here's my piece of criticism for you. Can't you post pics of really beautiful women instead of the 5's i see in the posts? :) My standards are higher than yours i guess. When i see women dolled up in that much makeup, i expect beautiful :P
My criticism isn't something to get offended at btw, it's just a difference in perspective...and i really wouldn't mind seeing better looking women. Feels wierd when the ol'ball'an'chain looks better than what your posting.


And yeah, i'm mostly a lurker 8)
keius
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Post by keius »

I just had to respond to this :lol:

q1: It's 2am, girls don't want to hear this junk. Especially, if her education may be a bit lacking. Once again, it's 2am.
q2: Trying to get intellectual with her is a bad idea at 2am. She prob wanted some interesting or casual convo...something amusing to waste her time.
And yeah, Taiwanese girls's standards in men prob don't match up to you well. You need to change and adapt if you need to.
How to solve this? Obtaining qualities that will make you more attractive always helps....or will increase your chances. I don't want to hear about how you see
trash far uglier than yourself with hotties. You don't know their individual situation. They might be sugardaddies or just paying outright for escorts.
As for concrete examples of what you need to change, try different pickup lines more suited to Taiwanese. Calling them "shau jie" is outright calling them whores when you
meet them. Even 'loose' girls don't like that. Pump iron, jog, lose weight, etc. Looking better and dressing better does a world of good. I got buff when i was younger and it
did a world of good for my dating prospects. Everyone knows short people need to get buff to compensate for being vertically challenged :lol: And i don't want to hear about how you want them to accept you for the way you are either. That's a load of bs because i know you won't accept an fat/ugly girl for herself (at least romantically). Rock has actually relayed some good advice. Get used to being dumped on and don't get depressed or offended. You might be hitting on girls who consider you beneath their standards. It's a waste of time with them.

Biggest thing to remember, there is no logic in a woman's thinking. They are primarily emotional creatures and if they don't feel a good vibe with you, you've got no chance.
This is Taiwan btw, not the Phillipines, Malaysia or the poorer areas of China where they are desperate to marry and remove themselves from a poverty stricken environment where women are treated not so well.

One thing i don't get is why you choose to remain in Taiwan. I think you'd do well if you hit some area in ....say Guangdong, China. Nothing seems to be tying you down and if your not happy there, move on.
Winston wrote:Rock, Repatriate,

I met a girl off Craigslist who looked cute. When we chatted on Gmail chat though, she was evasive and wouldn't say much about herself or why she was up so late at 2am. Then when she asked me what things I write about, I said, "international dating, culture, religion, philosophy, etc." Then she replied "What?" Then she said she had to go.

And that was the last I heard from her. She never responded to my emails after that.

So what went wrong? Did I say something wrong? What should I have said?

It seems that no matter what I do, bad luck in TW always prevails. Everything is jinxed against me and the current is against me too. The vibe in TW does not agree with me at all. Nothing I do goes right.

How would you solve this?

Also, when you see a hot girl and you say hi or "excuse me" or "shau jie" and she ignores your existence, what would YOU do about it?
swincor
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Post by swincor »

keius wrote: Pump iron, jog, lose weight, etc. Looking better and dressing better does a world of good. I got buff when i was younger and it
did a world of good for my dating prospects. Everyone knows short people need to get buff to compensate for being vertically challenged :lol: And i don't want to hear about how you want them to accept you for the way you are either. That's a load of bs because i know you won't accept an fat/ugly girl for herself (at least romantically). Rock has actually relayed some good advice. Get used to being dumped on and don't get depressed or offended. You might be hitting on girls who consider you beneath their standards. It's a waste of time with them.

Winston:

Please pay attention to the above post. While you may not be ugly à la Jabba the Hut, as someone astutely observed: you do look like a taxi driver. In fact, you bear a striking resemblance to a fellow who once pedaled me around in his rickshaw and showed me the city while I was vacationing in Singapore some years ago.

It is probably this fact, above all, that makes you in the eyes of TW girls a walking deal-breaker.

Nevertheless, there is a solution. For one thing, I would not dismiss PUA tactics if I were you. It is not so much the techniques themselves, but rather the underlying principles of PUA that are actually quite valid, and would serve you well if you invested a little more time in them.

And I agree with the poster that you might also want to consider joining a gym, or at least going outdoors more often, to rid yourself of the disgusting fat on your belly, accrued through years of sloth and laziness.

And finally, I suggest you invite a friend of yours the next time you get a haircut. Your friend can either advise you on the cut to get or instruct the barber on the type of cut, since you seem hopelessly unable to order even a half-decent one yourself.

Remember Winston: where there is a will, there is a way.




One thing i don't get is why you choose to remain in Taiwan. I think you'd do well if you hit some area in ....say Guangdong, China. Nothing seems to be tying you down and if your not happy there, move on.
As a matter of fact, this question has been raised several times already, only to be met by lame excuses by him.

The key thing to remember about Winston is that, contrary to his exaggerated claims of being "a man of action," he is extraordinarily lazy. He does hate living in Taiwan, but he is complacent about it because he is surrounded by material comfort, thanks to his parents. This was true of him in the Philippines, BTW. As long as his immediate living requirements are more than fulfilled, he would rather resort to in-action rather than take simple, concrete steps to remedy an unsatisfying situation.

I have actually been one of the few people on this board who ever gave him solid, practical advice. But Winston never takes action -- I suppose he wouldn't be Winston if he did.

If you've been on the board long enough, you will notice that he has long had a habit of issuing loud complaints about some miserable situation of his, more often than not of his own making. Whenever advice is proffered, he will invariably accuse that person of "telling him what to do," and then offer this excuse that only highlights how ineffectual he really is: "some problems are meant to be endured, rather than solved." This is what passes for "philosophical" in Winston's mind.

I actually have suggested to him that he move to the mainland to try his luck there -- again a very simple step that wouldn't require much of him. But then even one step seems to require too much from him.
momopi
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Post by momopi »

keius wrote:I just had to respond to this :lol:
q1: It's 2am, girls don't want to hear this junk. Especially, if her education may be a bit lacking. Once again, it's 2am.
q2: Trying to get intellectual with her is a bad idea at 2am. She prob wanted some interesting or casual convo...something amusing to waste her time.
I think the "international dating" part killed it. I hope everyone here has enough common sense to know, if you're a guy in Taiwan trying to date local Taiwanese women, you should most definitely not respond to her question with "...ya my hobby is to date Russian girls. Hey you wanna see some photos of me and h0t Russian chicks?" Or worse, give her a mental image of a perverted sex tourist who's been "sticking around" and carrying various STD's.

I'd have said "...traveling abroad to see new places, go shopping and eat good food. Experience different cultures, meet people, sample local cuisine, learn to cook new dishes... hey ever seen a seafood paella with rice colored by squid ink? I just learned how to cook it from my last trip to Spain, here let me show you a photo...did you know Europeans eat rice too? They're a bit weird, they don't use rice cookers like us..."

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WARNING: Using food to get girls will result in chubby GF (or at least 10-20 lbs weight gain) after 6-12 months. Sorry, "slim" and "molten chocolate soufflé" simply don't go together. See: my past and present GF's for example.

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Winston
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Post by Winston »

Hi all,
Rock and I just went to Taichung last weekend and met a lot of people and tried approaching some girls. I posted the trip report here:

viewtopic.php?p=30515#30515
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Post by Winston »

Repatriate wrote:
Winston wrote:Dear Repatriate:

I don't get why you have this double standard of thinking that if someone says positive things about me, then it must be polite flattery and not true, but if someone says negative things about me, then it must be true.
Because you are an obsessive person that takes people's praises to heart and uses it to pump up your ego and perceived "legendary" status. It's painfully obvious for anyone that has read your posts to see what's going on.
So why do you act like me being nice, open and friendly is an extreme claim?
I never said it was extreme. I think you have basic social skills..that much is for certain. I don't think you are suffering from asperger's or something and I don't believe you are a "bad" person per se. I believe my exact words were that you're emotionally fragile, childish, and narcissistic. To me that points to someone who is in fact very very insecure and tries hard to compensate for it. The way you lash out in the most over the top ways at criticism and your general neurotic behavior lends credence to that theory.

Your personality type is actually pretty common. It has nothing to do with whether you're nice or not. I think you probably actually have a personality disorder of sorts as well. I don't know though but your medical history is none of my business.
Also, why do you fail to understand what a "hive mind" is? It's not some far out sci fi concept. It simply means that people follow the pack or herd. Not just that they use yahoo messenger or MSN messenger. They have the same values and beliefs. For example, Asians believe that the purpose of life is to work and be productive, and to raise a family too. That's not an independent belief they came to through deep philosophical thinking. That's a cultural belief and norm that they follow because society says so and everyone else does it.
There are plenty of individuals in Asia and elsewhere who don't follow this societal pattern also so what's your point? Their choices in life are no less or more valid than those who do "follow" the herd as you so simplistically put it. Working, being productive, and starting a family are urges that aren't so much dictated just by society but one part of the whole function of wanting to procreate and pass into the gene pool.
That's what the hive is. Why is that hard for you to understand? Is your IQ below average? Sheesh.
Because your definition of it is obtuse and your reasoning is totally absurd.
Here's a lesson for you Repatriate: Just because two things are incompatible, doesn't mean that there is something wrong with one of them.
You should take your own (poor) analogies to heart and stop pretending you're above it all like it's high school and you think you live a supposedly non conventional lifestyle with a unique mindset.
Well you can ask Rock. He has seen me around girls and during our double date in Taichung too. He can tell you that I am polite and civil. There is nothing repulsive about me, even if I don't meet a girl's standards, it's cause I fall short of certain standards, not cause I am repulsive in any way.

In fact, Rock was much more gutsy than me. He told the girls we met a lot of controversial things that I would never say. I kept trying to look cute, funny and innocent, but he kept saying things that put us in hot water and made us look like playboys. Perhaps he felt that we had nothing to lose and enjoyed testing them, like a game. When I first meet someone, esp a woman, I try to tell them what they want to hear or expect, until I know them better.

I am refined, have manners and etiquette and a wide variety of knowledge. I do not act like a dirty low class taxi driver like you claim. Not at all. The way I talk is like an old soul, advanced for my years, soulful, etc. I do not have the vibes of a low class person at all. Hell no. You are more likely to than me.

Repatriate, you act far more rude and impolite and unpleasant than I do, even on this forum you do. I can't imagine how a personality like yours would be attractive to anyone, even to other guys.

I do not mean to brag. But why should I be too humble either? I do not brag about false things or claim things I can't back up. I do not BS anyone. Everyone has an ego here. No one here is a Buddhist Zen Master. Claiming that I have an ego means nothing. Everyone does. So what? No one likes to be insulted. EVERYONE will get defensive when they are criticized. That's true of everyone and of life in general.

So what's new? Why do you act like me having an ego is something unusual when everyone has it? Huh?

Anyway, there is nothing "wrong" with me just cause I don't meet women's standards. Most men consider me cool and great to hang out with. Most guys in general do not pick up women like flies (unless they are in really poor countries) so just cause I don't in Taiwan, doesn't mean that there is something "wrong" or defective with me.
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Winston
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Post by Winston »

How do I look in Hawaiian shirts? lol

Dianne hates them for some reason and says they make me look older.


Image

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keius
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Post by keius »

I agree with Diane. Ditch the shirts :) You look like a tourist that way. I suppose if your going for that look towards some end, it may suit your needs. My wife has thrown away all my button up short sleeve collared shirts. She say's to roll up my sleeves if i must but those kind of shirts are for the geeky look LOL.
Personally, i prefer sweatpants and hoodies. Drives her crazy.
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Winston
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Post by Winston »

momopi wrote:
keius wrote:I just had to respond to this :lol:
q1: It's 2am, girls don't want to hear this junk. Especially, if her education may be a bit lacking. Once again, it's 2am.
q2: Trying to get intellectual with her is a bad idea at 2am. She prob wanted some interesting or casual convo...something amusing to waste her time.
I think the "international dating" part killed it. I hope everyone here has enough common sense to know, if you're a guy in Taiwan trying to date local Taiwanese women, you should most definitely not respond to her question with "...ya my hobby is to date Russian girls. Hey you wanna see some photos of me and h0t Russian chicks?" Or worse, give her a mental image of a perverted sex tourist who's been "sticking around" and carrying various STD's.
But that's not what I said. I said I ran a dating site, kind of like a matchmaking site, not a site for playboys.

But anyway, if TW girls will drop you for little minute things like that, then what's the point of leaving America? You can find girls like that in America too that will ditch you for minute things. Or you can watch Seinfeld doing that to the women on his show.

I thought the whole point of going abroad was to find down to earth women who treat you good? If women are that judgmental about little things, then they are like walking on eggshells.
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Winston
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Post by Winston »

keius,
I follow the golden rule and give what I get. If Repatriate has the right to insult me, I have the right to insult him back.

Why do you hold double standards?

And why do you presume that his opinions reflect the opinions of the whole world?

Can you explain?

You are a third party, so you do not see his remarks as insults. But if he were saying those things about YOU, then you would probably see them as insults too.
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Post by Winston »

What do you guys think of shirts I wear like this?

Image

Also, what about the way I dressed in WA when it was cold there?

Image

Image

Image

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If I go to Europe, what's the best way to dress there?
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The_Adventurer
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Post by The_Adventurer »

Where are you in that first picture? Is that in Philippines with a Philippines girl?
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keius
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Post by keius »

I wasn't talking about Repatriate so much as about Swincor when referring to the insults.

I think as THE mod here, you shouldn't let yourself lose it as badly as you did with Swincor. The way you handled it wasn't very good for your image. It just made you look really defensive, when your going F'you, A-hole, etc. I don't recall him resorting to this. Might have to search through some posts but i could be wrong.
Usually, when someone resorts to name calling, it means conceding that he could be right.

I think alot of the things Repatriate hit on were on the ball (though i don't agree entirely).
On page 14, he was highly critical of you BUT if you really read what he said, i don't consider them insults. I think alot of it was constructive and objective. Honestly, i think Repatriate was trying to help and was trying to be as polite as possible without being insulting.
I've had some things said of me that are on that level and i took it as criticism and thought about it. Most times it was ALOT more crude than how Repatriate put it.
And, if what Repatriate said was directed at me, i would not take it as insulting (especially online). I'm a very introspective guy(more so as i age). I know where i'm lacking and where my faults lie.
When he says that you look like a Chinese uncle type or that you've got a big ego, it's not an insult OK, it's being objective. He was trying to get you to take a good look at yourself. I think you sorta look like one too and yes, you do come off as someone with a big ego. No insult is intended when i say that. ( i think you can lose that look if you lost some weight btw)

And as a third party, it's easy for me to be fairly objective. I think that you are taking advice a bit out of whack and getting way too defensive about it.
I don't have double standards (for this at least). I don't know either of you personally. My viewpoint is that you solicited for a bit of advice and that you should think about what people said, whether or not you like it.

It wasn't just his opinions. They don't reflect the world. But it seemed like most of those who bothered posting in this thread agreed.
Winston wrote:keius,
I follow the golden rule and give what I get. If Repatriate has the right to insult me, I have the right to insult him back.

Why do you hold double standards?

And why do you presume that his opinions reflect the opinions of the whole world?

Can you explain?

You are a third party, so you do not see his remarks as insults. But if he were saying those things about YOU, then you would probably see them as insults too.
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