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Thailand - Retirement Paradise For Western Men

Discuss culture, living, traveling, relocating, dating or anything related to the Asian countries - China, The Philippines, Thailand, etc.

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Postby Rock » Thu Sep 23, 2010 6:53 am

ladislav wrote:
I cannot imagine why so many guys prefer Thais to Filipinas. Outside of the hostility to white/Asian couples and being taken for a whore inconvenience, there are also visa problems ( almost none in RP), having to pay the bride price, huge cultural and language differences -it would be hard for both to adjust to each other's cultures. And then a Filipina's US-style education in English and openness to other cultures and races makes it so much a better choice. Mixed kids are also accepted in the Philippine society and are well liked. And a Thai and a Filipina look the same basically. So, why do those men prefer Thais?

In all of the cases I observed including my own, I never got the vibe that they felt any shame or reluctance in walking around town with their western dates/boyfriends/husbands. But I supposed Thais can be very subtle and I hardly know any of the language. Its possible that I as the stupid farang missed the elephant standing in the room.


They are not subtle if you know the language. I do pretty well. So the horrible things they say and the way they call can you make your ears wither.


1. Look, I have only had limited exposure to Phils girls. Been on a few short visits to Manila over the years, seen throngs of Filipinas all around Hong Kong on Sundays and out partying at night in Wan Chai, and see them here and there in Taiwan. Physically, I don't think they look like so much like Thai girls, at least many of the more attractive Thai girls. And man, they are just so short. I strongly prefer girls who are at least 5'5", preferably pushing 5'7" or more. Taller girls are just so much sexier and attractive IMO. These days, Thailand has a fair number of these, both regular and P4P. From what I've seen of Filipinas, they are short. Correct me if I am wrong but don't most fall between 4'10" and 5'3"? Are there perhaps certain areas or sub-cultures where taller Filipinas are more common?

2. Aren't mixed kids (Western-Thai) also accepted in the Thai society and well liked?

3. OK, perhaps a lot of rude Thai comments or body language that I missed were directed my way when I walked around with a regular Thai girl. But I have to wonder, why wouldn't this bother the girl I was with if it was happening so much like you say? And where would you encounter such rudeness? I hope it was just in the lower end touristy venues. Does Thai polite society engage in such behavior as well?
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Postby Repatriate » Thu Sep 23, 2010 7:23 am

Rock wrote:2. Aren't mixed kids (Western-Thai) also accepted in the Thai society and well liked?

Yes and no. I dated a Thai-Aussie girl (mixed) and she said that Thais have a sort of strange relationship with them. They want them for entertainment and other stuff but deep down consider them "not Thai" unless they are thoroughly integrated. Plus it helps if the western father or mother is well respected in the Thai community. In other words..the father wasn't a G.I. or a sex tourist and the mom wasn't a former prostitute or mail order bride. I've even seen a few families where the mom is western and the father Thai..it seems they accept kids from this type of couple much more readily since it takes away a lot of the "sex tourist" connotations.
3. OK, perhaps a lot of rude Thai comments or body language that I missed were directed my way when I walked around with a regular Thai girl. But I have to wonder, why wouldn't this bother the girl I was with if it was happening so much like you say? And where would you encounter such rudeness? I hope it was just in the lower end touristy venues. Does Thai polite society engage in such behavior as well?

The opposite tends to be true. The lower end venues won't give you a second glance if you're out there with a thai girl because they see it everyday in the tourist areas but the middle/upper class all Thai venues and social circles will definitely scrutinize it more.

The thing about Thais is that 99% of the time they aren't going to come out to complete strangers and make comments or mad dog you. Usually it'll be done in a passive aggressive or sarcastic manner. I haven't experienced it much myself but i've seen it quite a few times. I'm guessing this is what Ladislav is talking about when he's mentioning his experiences in Thai..just a lot of this stuff.
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Postby Rock » Thu Sep 23, 2010 7:56 am

Repatriate wrote:
Rock wrote:And I myself got involved with one Chinese Thai from a wealthy family and a couple more middle class Thais from solid families. The Chinese Thai introduced me to her mom and one of the others introduced me to a couple of her family members. One of the non-Chinese Thais later did an extended European tour with her uni and the other ended-up going to the States for grad school.

In all of the cases I observed including my own, I never got the vibe that they felt any shame or reluctance in walking around town with their western dates/boyfriends/husbands. But I supposed Thais can be very subtle and I hardly know any of the language. Its possible that I as the stupid farang missed the elephant standing in the room.

A few questions..were you in Thailand or in the U.S. at the time when dating these women? If it's in the U.S. or another western country they aren't going to mind.

In Thailand I have seen the self conscious attitude with some (women walking way in front of their western bf/husband..avoiding eye contact with other thais etc..)but I think most just don't care or they want you to go to places that don't have the usual westerner/bargirl combo around.

I had a similar conversation with one of my old friends who lived here for 6 years and is 100% Italian from Rome and speaks fluent Thai. He says that he does get some comments/nasty looks occasionally and some of your average Thai people don't really like it much. However, with that being said he did get along like a house on fire with a lot of Thais. Plus his girlfriend(s) were all regular Thai girls. I often use his experiences as a comparison/contrast with Ladislavs.

I did notice one thing, the girls he went out with were fairly attractive but definitely not "mainstream" girls..as in the hot trendy looking university thai girls you see walking around. It seems they were more non conventional types and willing to date foreigners.

It seems like you dated quite a few Thais but i'm curious as to why it didn't go further with any of them?


1. The girl who had an American bf/fiance at my uni was of course observed when I was living in the States. Everything else I observed or experienced happened when I was living in Taiwan or commuting between Taiwan and Thailand for business reasons.

2. I didn't take them to bar areas. Siam Square, malls, mainstream clubs, movies, bowling etc. was cool. But one of them liked going out to Khaosan Rd. with me.

3. I hear you on the non-conventional types and it jibes well with what I've observed from my circles, friends of friends, etc. Some of them are still hot by mainstream standards though. The luk-kreung photo model I met last visit who dates young westerners comes to mind for example.

4. Yea why didn't I get more serious with the Thai girls I dated? For me, its easy to experience lust with Thai girls but love is another matter even though I've given it half a shot at times. I don't speak fluent Thai, don't live there long term, and never seem to feel the deep connection with Thai girls that I sometimes get with certain Taiwanese, Chinese, and even Koreans. Back when I was a kid, I visited some countries in Asia and left with impressions which later I suspect formed strong biases in my subconscious. Generally, I felt that NE Asian women, especially Taiwanese, lacked flashiness but were innocent, sincere, could tolerate monotony and simple living well, were somewhat intellectual, and could work hard and accumulate wealth over time. Basically, they were well suited to the long term. SE Asians (read Thailand) on the other hand were showy, insincere, required lots of fun and stimulation, anti-intellectual (don't think too much), did not tolerate hard work, and spent money as soon as it came. They were more out-of-site out of mind. I also thought NE Asians girls were on average better looking too. This bias is probably not fair and certainly not always accurate. But I think we all have our biases which affects how we feel about different types of people.
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Postby Repatriate » Thu Sep 23, 2010 8:21 am

Rock wrote:1. The girl who had an American bf/fiance at my uni was of course observed when I was living in the States. Everything else I observed or experienced happened when I was living in Taiwan or commuting between Taiwan and Thailand for business reasons.

A couple things, asian women who live in the U.S. or even non-Taiwanese/Chinese asian women living in Taiwan have a very different set of circumstances attached to their lives and may not be considered part of their native culture anymore. This is especially true with asians who live a good part in the U.S. i'd say most end up thoroughly Americanized. The girl you saw isn't going to care one bit because by all respects she's more or less become a part of American culture.
2. I didn't take them to bar areas. Siam Square, malls, mainstream clubs, movies, bowling etc. was cool. But one of them liked going out to Khaosan Rd. with me.

Yeah those are all very touristy areas. Thais won't think twice about seeing a western/thai girl arm in arm in that area.
3. I hear you on the non-conventional types and it jibes well with what I've observed from my circles, friends of friends, etc. Some of them are still hot by mainstream standards though. The luk-kreung photo model I met last visit who dates young westerners comes to mind for example.

Luk-Kreungs really do deserve their own category..not really asian or western. They sort of skirt both worlds and both the men and women i've met often try to find their own cultural and social niche.

Generally, I felt that NE Asian women, especially Taiwanese, lacked flashiness but were innocent, sincere, could tolerate monotony and simple living well, were somewhat intellectual, and could work hard and accumulate wealth over time. Basically, they were well suited to the long term. SE Asians (read Thailand) on the other hand were showy, insincere, required lots of fun and stimulation, anti-intellectual (don't think too much), did not tolerate hard work, and spent money as soon as it came. They were more out-of-site out of mind. I also thought NE Asians girls were on average better looking too. This bias is probably not fair and certainly not always accurate. But I think we all have our biases which affects how we feel about different types of people.

I think you hit that nail on the head pretty accurately. The outlook and culture is just fundamentally different. The attributes you listed is also a pretty good reason why there is such an economic gulf between the SE Asian countries (except for Singapore which is more NE Asian in culture) and NE Asia.
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Postby Rock » Thu Sep 23, 2010 10:04 am

In case I gave the wrong impression, all Thai girls I knew personally lived in Thailand. I lived in Taiwan but would take extended trips to Thailand, either for business (when commuting) or pleasure.

Most Thai girls living in Taiwan are contract workers at factories or helping out Taiwanese families and I've never had contact with any of them. Almost all the ones I've seen are not attractive at all. There are also a smattering of Thai spouses to Taiwan men (my Forex broker married a Chinese Thai from the north and she's very nice) and of course they get left alone. And finally, there's a small number of Thai students at a few of the top universities learning Chinese or other subjects. But their small numbers are overwhelmed by students from other Asian countries.

What venues in Thailand do Repatriate and Lad believe a Farang man/Thai woman couple would suffer psychological abuse from locals since the tourist areas are relative safe havens.
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Postby ladislav » Thu Sep 23, 2010 10:09 am

...These days, Thailand has a fair number of these, both regular and P4P. From what I've seen of Filipinas, they are short. Correct me if I am wrong but don't most fall between 4'10" and 5'3"? Are there perhaps certain areas or sub-cultures where taller Filipinas are more common?


We all have our priorities. I am 169 cm so Filipinas suit me just fine. Taller Filipinas can be found in the North of the country although not many.

2. Aren't mixed kids (Western-Thai) also accepted in the Thai society and well liked?


You won't see them in the government or the business world. Singers and some actors/models. And not all become singers/models.

OK, perhaps a lot of rude Thai comments or body language that I missed were directed my way when I walked around with a regular Thai girl. But I have to wonder, why wouldn't this bother the girl I was with if it was happening so much like you say? And where would you encounter such rudeness? I hope it was just in the lower end touristy venues. Does Thai polite society engage in such behavior as well?


Most people are nice but several bad looks and curled up lips, raised chins and cynical smiles a day start grating on your nerves. My problem is that I am well aware of my environment and I can read people's body language well. I have eyes on the back of my head. Other people just mind their own business and concentrate on immediate things they do. I observe and see everything. The polite society will not be in your face but you can see the needling in their eyes.

For a second rate country like Thailand, there is just too much racism and imperial nationalism. Do not need it in my life. If other people do not mind it, more power to them. I like my Mindanao.
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Postby momopi » Thu Sep 23, 2010 7:04 pm

Rock wrote:In case I gave the wrong impression, all Thai girls I knew personally lived in Thailand. I lived in Taiwan but would take extended trips to Thailand, either for business (when commuting) or pleasure.

Most Thai girls living in Taiwan are contract workers at factories or helping out Taiwanese families and I've never had contact with any of them. Almost all the ones I've seen are not attractive at all. There are also a smattering of Thai spouses to Taiwan men (my Forex broker married a Chinese Thai from the north and she's very nice) and of course they get left alone. And finally, there's a small number of Thai students at a few of the top universities learning Chinese or other subjects. But their small numbers are overwhelmed by students from other Asian countries.


Thai expat community in Taiwan hold annual Songkran festival in several cities. I've never went to the ones in TW so cannot comment on the girls there. Here in LA I used to go to Wat Thai in North Hollywood when had food stalls.


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Postby Winston » Mon Jan 10, 2011 7:18 pm

Check out these videos of the bars in Thailand!

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kkF2hpEkyfQ[/youtube]

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jr2fdeJJRPI[/youtube]
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Postby globetrotter » Tue Jan 11, 2011 4:54 am

ladislav wrote:
...These days, Thailand has a fair number of these, both regular and P4P. From what I've seen of Filipinas, they are short. Correct me if I am. Most people are nice but several bad looks and curled up lips, raised chins and cynical smiles a day start grating on your nerves. My problem is that I am well aware of my environment and I can read people's body language well. I have eyes on the back of my head. Other people just mind their own business and concentrate on immediate things they do. I observe and see everything. The polite society will not be in your face but you can see the needling in their eyes.

For a second rate country like Thailand, there is just too much racism and imperial nationalism. Do not need it in my life. If other people do not mind it, more power to them. I like my Mindanao.


I have this same awareness, ladislav - but I can brush off the dirty looks.

Eh - who cares?

f**k 'em.

There are assholes in every nation and every culture.

In the USA you would get eviscerated for dating a non-white girl, for placing a photo of your RP honey on your desk.

In China, any girl seen in public with a Laowai (foreigner) is assumed to be a prostitute. It has an effect upon her social standing that we no longer can grasp in the USA. Those sorts of consequences (don't date that Miller boy - he's trouble and you will get a bad reputation) disappeared by 1980 or so in America.

In China you just have to deal with it and she has to be of character to accept what others will say. That means (for a Chinese girl at least...) that she is her own person, a little rebellious and from a Chinese point of view 'liberated'.

But don't think she's like an AW. It is just that she has just a touch of wanting to do her own thing. She will still cook and clean and all that.

It's very funny when I talk with Chinese women and they insist that they are 'not reserved' and not like the way Chinese men want women to be.

Yet they are dainty, feminine, well-dressed and polite. To my sensibilities.

To her and Chinese men she a a rebellious woman who is bad wife/gf material.

To me she is a delight.
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Postby The_Adventurer » Thu Jan 13, 2011 12:17 am

globetrotter wrote:In China, any girl seen in public with a Laowai (foreigner) is assumed to be a prostitute. It has an effect upon her social standing that we no longer can grasp in the USA. Those sorts of consequences (don't date that Miller boy - he's trouble and you will get a bad reputation) disappeared by 1980 or so in America.


Do you think this goes as much in big cities as in smaller towns? I get the impression around here, that a girl seen with a foreigner will be assumed to be a translator or other business associate. I guess dress and attitude may have something to do with it too. Some girls dress in a way that would put them in question regardless of who they are walking with. There's probably a big difference walking on a bar street vs walking in the business district.
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Postby globetrotter » Thu Jan 13, 2011 4:09 am

My impression is that this has to do with being in 'real China' in smaller cities.

My friends in a T2 do not report any trouble.
My friends in a T3 do report sneers, bigoted words, etc.
No one in a T4 (that I know) is dating a local, so I will report to you when I do.

For those unfamiliar with the Tn terminology:

T1- 4 refers to China city size and is a way to refer to various cities in the PRC.

T1 Tier 1. Beijing, Shanghai, Guangzhou and Hong Kong. You know these place names.
T2 Tier 2. Chengdu, etc. and provincial capitals. You might know one or two of these place names.
T3 Tier 3. 50k - 500,000 people. You won't know these place names.
T4 Tier 4. 20k to 50k people. You won't know these place names and other Chinese won't know them either.

Anything smaller will be a small village of 500 to 5,000 people. A collection of houses, one 8 room schoolhouse, one store and one restaurant.
These places might not have names. Really.
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Postby ladislav » Fri Jan 14, 2011 6:05 pm

If we have no choice and those are last places on earth then yeah we can try to brush those off or learn to live with it. There is nothing we can do. But we do have choices. We can go to Brazil where we will just assimilate into the society, go to Russia where we look like the locals or go to the Philippines where a bad look is like, what, once a year? Vs in Thailand several times a day? I remember going and living in Thailand after the Philippines and it seemed like a wacky place with a gratutious problem of the constant farang farang bullsh1t. Lots of people are prejudiced against you for being a non Oriental. And as a white guy you are subject to constant mockery. You get no respect!

So, you are saying there are assholes in every nation?

Ay but you see frequency is not the same. Intensity is not the same. How many times a day it happens in is not the same.

There is crime in Tokyo and Joeburg. Where is it worse?

There is hot weather in Russia and in Algiers. Where is it hotter?

There are people with guns in Washington DC and Baghdad. Where would you rather be walking alone at night?

So, in the US it is racist as well? We try to get away from racism in the USA, you see. Why go to another place where you have people mocking you daily?

Thailand is a retirement paradise for Oriental guys, not white guys.

And the visas are another headache. But that is a separate issue.
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Postby Repatriate » Fri Jan 14, 2011 6:10 pm

ladislav wrote:I remember going and living in Thailand after the Philippines and it seemed like a wacky place with a gratutious problem of the constant farang farang bullsh1t. Lots of people are prejudiced against you for being a non Oriental. And as a white guy you are subject to constant mockery. You get no respect!

Ladislav, no offense but you mentioned the last time you were in Thailand was in the early 90's. I'd say you are a generation or two behind the current Thai mindset. They are xenophobic but it is much less than what you have stated here.
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Postby globetrotter » Fri Jan 14, 2011 8:18 pm

ladislav wrote:If we have no choice and those are last places on earth then yeah we can try to brush those off or learn to live with it. There is nothing we can do. But we do have choices. We can go to Brazil where we will just assimilate into the society, go to Russia where we look like the locals or go to the Philippines where a bad look is like, what, once a year? Vs in Thailand several times a day? I remember going and living in Thailand after the Philippines and it seemed like a wacky place with a gratutious problem of the constant farang farang bullsh1t. Lots of people are prejudiced against you for being a non Oriental. And as a white guy you are subject to constant mockery. You get no respect!


China would be similar, IF I had a gf.

Many US Man - Chinese Woman get dirty looks and the occasional back biting comment as they walk on the street.

You can either deal with it or not.

With China Man - Western Woman, it is slightly similar.

Other teacher here is a Chinese guy and the boys are all wanting to pour over the bf's background with a fine-tooth comb.

"Where does he work? What does he do? How much money does he make? What's his name? Where does he live?"

They really grill her. She thinks it is the older brother, protective syndrome as she is 20 and the students peer.

But in China they want you to stay. IF you settled down and were going to make a life in China.

The situation in China is also changing by the week. Older Chinese are like as above sometimes, but younger students/UNI are not.

Older Chinese=No serial dating, date for 6 months then get married.
Younger Chinese are tearing it up and some have multiple bf/gf and it's ok to date and not marry someone.

Rural China older values still in play, BSG is more western and modern.

At the rate China is growing and changing, this post could (truthfully) be obsolete in one year's time.
But right now, Jan 2011, this is the situation.
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Postby MrPeabody » Fri Jan 14, 2011 8:20 pm

Repatriate wrote:
ladislav wrote:I remember going and living in Thailand after the Philippines and it seemed like a wacky place with a gratutious problem of the constant farang farang bullsh1t. Lots of people are prejudiced against you for being a non Oriental. And as a white guy you are subject to constant mockery. You get no respect!

Ladislav, no offense but you mentioned the last time you were in Thailand was in the early 90's. I'd say you are a generation or two behind the current Thai mindset. They are xenophobic but it is much less than what you have stated here.


That's what I was wondering. Because I am thinking of going to Thailand to get my CELTA. I talked to a friend of mine who lives in Bangkok and he says that people couldn't be nicer.
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