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Chinese girls, How do they see foreigners? Im new to china

Discuss culture, living, traveling, relocating, dating or anything related to the Asian countries - China, The Philippines, Thailand, etc.

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Chinese girls, How do they see foreigners? Im new to china

Postby brianchina » October 18th, 2010, 7:57 pm

Im new to china.. I live in a small city in fujian provence called jinjiang.. here is 5 million people in this area so not like its small.. But the chinese call this a small town.. Anyway, few chinese down here speak english.. I have many people stairing at me every day.. Im not that disillusioned to think all these girls want me.. In fact the men stair just as much as the girls.. When I try to communicate with the girls I usually get what looks like amazement, kinda like looking at a alien from mars.. What is the best way you have found to start communications with this these woman? Give a new guy some help.. My 'game" in the states was good and I have a good job here.. But it just seems like im not looking at the reality here correctly.. Do these girls in the smaller towns think about dating foreigners? Any help would be cool..
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Postby ladislav » October 18th, 2010, 9:09 pm

Never been to the Mainland but I would not confuse the amazement at seeing a creature from another planet with sexual attraction. I felt the same way when I was in Thailand for a while but it was simply amazement, as if you saw a green man.
However, having said that, two of my colleagues went to China- one 55 and one 65 and they ended up with 20+ Chinese gf's.
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Re: Chinese girls, How do they see foreigners? Im new to chi

Postby momopi » October 18th, 2010, 11:00 pm

brianchina wrote:Im new to china.. I live in a small city in fujian provence called jinjiang.. here is 5 million people in this area so not like its small.. But the chinese call this a small town.. Anyway, few chinese down here speak english.. I have many people stairing at me every day.. Im not that disillusioned to think all these girls want me.. In fact the men stair just as much as the girls.. When I try to communicate with the girls I usually get what looks like amazement, kinda like looking at a alien from mars.. What is the best way you have found to start communications with this these woman? Give a new guy some help.. My 'game" in the states was good and I have a good job here.. But it just seems like im not looking at the reality here correctly.. Do these girls in the smaller towns think about dating foreigners? Any help would be cool..


Learn Chinese.
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Postby wuxi » October 19th, 2010, 2:33 am

Chinese women generally have a high interest in foreign men. Unless you can speak chinese you'll have a difficult time capitalizing on this fact. However, you being in a poorer province helps you as the quality of women(gold diggers) goes up in Chinas large cities as well as the divorce rate. Chinese women generally save themselves for marriage so there interest in sex is high.

Chinese women are raised differently than western women which often results in them having a poor relationship with there father and other men in there lives. The success rate of Chinese/Western relationships is lower than Western/Western relationships, this is something you should be prepared for. I have met chinese women that are very well adjusted and are kind and loving to there partners by western standards. However, this is not really common I would estimate that some 80% of chinese women are "difficult".

You can read the horror stories for yourself.

http://middlekingdomlife.com/ask-dr-gre ... ng-t2.html
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Postby Repatriate » October 19th, 2010, 3:17 am

I always get a bit of a chuckle when people think Chinese women are exactly the same as other asian women. They all look alike right? Wrong. Even a mildly bad tempered Chinese woman can be your worst nightmare and will ruin your life for decades just like the worst American woman will. The "hen pecked" Chinese guy is a real cultural phenomenon for a reason.

I've dated a few Chinese women in the past and I can even relate to them on a deeper level because of my background but let's just say the hassle is rarely worth it. There are gems out there though like anywhere but it's unlikely a non-Chinese speaking foreigner will find many of them.
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Postby wuxi » October 20th, 2010, 2:21 am

I'll also mention China is the only country in the world where the female suicide rate is higher than the male suicide rate. If your looking for an emotionally stable woman you might want to try a different country. As a group chinese women are the best looking women I've ever seen.
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Postby keius » October 20th, 2010, 9:32 pm

Honestly, there tends to be different stereotypes on women and their behavior based on which province or area they come from. My wife comes from an area of China that is notorious for lazy women....
Thank gawd she didn't turn out that way after she came to the US. Before she met me, she'd technically only worked 2 months in her entire life, but i think her difficult childhood accounted for why she turned out so hardworking.

Or it might be because she honestly loves and wants the best for me and our son. She said if circumstances were different, she'd have been content to marry someone local and be a lazy wife who played Mahjong and spent money all day while her parents, or his, took care of the kids...

There is an undertone of bitterness when she talks about her childhood...and she sometimes likes to nag, but i think that's just women in general :)
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Postby wuxi » October 21st, 2010, 1:26 am

keius wrote:Honestly, there tends to be different stereotypes on women and their behavior based on which province or area they come from. My wife comes from an area of China that is notorious for lazy women....
Thank gawd she didn't turn out that way after she came to the US. Before she met me, she'd technically only worked 2 months in her entire life, but i think her difficult childhood accounted for why she turned out so hardworking.

Or it might be because she honestly loves and wants the best for me and our son. She said if circumstances were different, she'd have been content to marry someone local and be a lazy wife who played Mahjong and spent money all day while her parents, or his, took care of the kids...

There is an undertone of bitterness when she talks about her childhood...and she sometimes likes to nag, but i think that's just women in general :)


What province is your wife from? I wasn't impressed with the women in jiangsu province(Shanghai). I also found out that people from Beijing don't like people from Shanghai, a Beijinger told me that.
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Postby keius » October 22nd, 2010, 8:39 am

wuxi wrote:What province is your wife from? I wasn't impressed with the women in jiangsu province(Shanghai). I also found out that people from Beijing don't like people from Shanghai, a Beijinger told me that.


Guangdong, around the Taishan area. People from Taishan have this horrible reputation for being lazy slobs...due to the number of people there migrating to wealthier countries, relatives in China have grown lazy when they don't need to work and simply make a phone call to get more money(I send money to my in-laws every month, sigh). If i remember correctly, the ethnically Taishanese people outside of China now outnumber those within Taishan. Same things slowly happening to Fujian now too. The mass exodus of Fujianese outside of the country has fermented a reputation for laziness for those same reasons. I was told this by some Fujianese associates :roll:

Anyway, my wife is Taishanese but enough of her ancestry originates from Northern China that she looks sorta mixed North and Southern Chinese(ie lighter skin tone more common to Northern Chinese). She comes from an area outside of Taishan City that supposedly has the best stock of attractive and educated Taishanese girls. Can't say much about that except we did pass by her old high school and there was enough hotties that i wouldn't contest that claim. The competition wasn't hard to beat though :lol: I met her a couple months after she had graduated from high school and yes, i'm a bit older than she is :wink:

BTW, most Chinese don't like Chinese from other areas. Taishanese treat immigrant workers like dirt. There's a certain status/stereotype associated with being from certain areas. It would suck to be at the bottom of the pecking order.
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Re: Chinese girls, How do they see foreigners? Im new to chi

Postby DCX_10 » October 26th, 2010, 12:55 am

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Last edited by DCX_10 on August 14th, 2012, 3:31 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Postby Winston » November 19th, 2010, 4:43 pm

Brian,
Instead of wondering what they are staying at, why don't you approach a lot of girls, chat them up, ask questions, make friends, get their phone number, etc. and tell us how it goes and what their reaction is?

My friend Rock does that with Chinese girls and has a lot of experience with it. You can ask him for tips.
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Postby Winston » November 19th, 2010, 4:49 pm

I have a question.

When you first meet a Chinese woman, she usually right away asks you about your occupation, to gauge how rich you are, as if that's the first priority to her. I know it's very shallow, but that's part of the Chinese mentality.

So what if you don't have any occupation that's worth bragging about? What should you say to such a question? Should you be vague and say that you're a "business consultant"? Or change the subject? Or what?
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Postby keius » November 19th, 2010, 11:00 pm

Lying is a bad idea if your looking for anything permanent. Lying is also a bad idea if that girl runs in your social circles.

If your looking for a fling at a bar with a stranger, lie your *ss off if you want :)

or change the subject by talking about something else that you can brag about that will raise your stock and 'valuation with her.
Since your in China, you can say you are simply relaxing right now and taking a long vacation in China. It's not unheard of or unreasonable. You can always tell her you have so and so degrees, property, etc...or have saved up enough that you can afford to be a deadbeat :) That always brings a glint to their eyes. :P

They tend to evaluate your current status and calculate your future earnings potential as well LOL. And whether or not you plan to return to your home country...that's a biggie. Although they tend to always believe they can always force the issue, AFTER marriage (nag you into going back)
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