Dating Middle Class Filipinas?

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mentor
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Re: Dating Middle Class Filipinas

Post by mentor »

In any case, anybody could set his requirements in a filipina girl that he is interested in, set expectations from the beginning of their contacts,
and then see if she will accept them or not.


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MarcosZeitola
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Re: Dating Middle Class Filipinas

Post by MarcosZeitola »

mentor wrote:A good situation for me, maybe it would be, girls without parents, wanting 'no' kids. They do exist, I found some, and they seem ok.
But you never know of course. Anything has to be investigated.
A girl without parents will still have uncles, aunts who took her in. Relatives, siblings who are not well-off and who she would feel loyalty towards. She may even decide to sacrifice her own private life to work for them. Such a girl will often be even MORE inclined to send money to her family, then a girl who does have parents.

Another option would be: a girl who has a bad relationship with her parents\family. But what does this say about the girl? Her parents may have issues, but she may have issues herself just as easily. If her parents are dead, absent, unable to take care of her or they broke off contact, God only knows what happened to them. They may have been addicts for all you know. Things happen for a reason, and the best girls tend to come from close-knit, traditional families. Remember that.

A poor girl, who does not want kids, who does not have parents... this type of girl is damaged. Very badly damaged, mind you, because the Filipino is by nature an optimistic person and will strive for a better future for his or her children, even when facing adversity in his own upbringing. Having a good relationship with your in-laws is a very good thing to have, and can be much to your benefit. Another thing to keep in mind. If it weren't for my in-laws, my integration in Filipino society would have been far more difficult and I would have a much smaller social network to fall back on.

Furthermore: you want a housewife. You prefer her not to work. She has to be a Christian too. What will she do all day, when the house is clean and she's done cooking? Just, pray and sit on her pretty little butt while you are at work? Her eyes may start to wander, in all of her boredom. Knock her up, give her something to do. A purpose. Don't be cruel to the girl. Chances are, if you find one, she'll go along with your wishes but her heart won't be in it.

With your wishes, and criteria, the Philippines may not be for you. What you want, and what you want your wife to be like, are too contradictory. You say you are a traditonal Christian man, but you sound like a typical young Western man afraid of commitment and responsibility, who essentially wants a glorified maid. Hence she has to be "simple", and not want a family. And preferably not even have a family.
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Jonny Law
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Re: Dating Middle Class Filipinas

Post by Jonny Law »

I visited the Philippines in June. The women are AMAZING!!!

If you do not like Filipina Chicks there is something wrong with you.

The Philippines sucks if you are looking for a Middle Class Girl. If you want a girl with money I would suggest looking "Anywhere Else".

-Newsflash-
The Philippines is a poor country.
OutWest
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Re: Dating Middle Class Filipinas

Post by OutWest »

Jonny Law wrote:I visited the Philippines in June. The women are AMAZING!!!

If you do not like Filipina Chicks there is something wrong with you.

The Philippines sucks if you are looking for a Middle Class Girl. If you want a girl with money I would suggest looking "Anywhere Else".

-Newsflash-
The Philippines is a poor country.

Poor in the Philippines does not mean you are wondering the streets...as I am sure you saw when you were there. Most are poor, as you saw.

That said, a poor girl with a rich heart could make you the happiest man in the world.
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HouseMD
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Re: Dating Middle Class Filipinas

Post by HouseMD »

Jonny Law wrote:I visited the Philippines in June. The women are AMAZING!!!

If you do not like Filipina Chicks there is something wrong with you.

The Philippines sucks if you are looking for a Middle Class Girl. If you want a girl with money I would suggest looking "Anywhere Else".

-Newsflash-
The Philippines is a poor country.
I'm not looking for a middle class girl (if I were still looking) for her money lol. I'm looking for a middle class girl for her lack of nagging about her family needing money, for her love of experience, and for her ability to actually understand the words coming out of my mouth. I don't just need a baby factory and maid, I need a companion with which to adventure and change the world. Your average poor Filipina doesn't think big- they just think about the immediate future, and lack the drive to change the world and adventure. I look for special women- ones I can take anywhere, that are up for anything, and that can help me grow as a person by pushing my limits. Middle class Filipinas were always a much better fit, as the poor ones just don't have much foresight or insight must of the time. We'll see how I feel about them on my next trip- I should be headed there for six weeks in 2017 to do some work at UP's TB clinic.
Last edited by HouseMD on October 7th, 2015, 5:48 am, edited 1 time in total.
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MarcosZeitola
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Re: Dating Middle Class Filipinas

Post by MarcosZeitola »

HouseMD wrote:I'm not looking for a middle class girl (if I were still looking) for her money lol. I'm looking for a middle class girl for her lack of nagging about her family needing money, for her love of experience, and for her ability to actually understand the words coming out of my mouth. I don't just need a baby factory and maid, I need a companion with which to adventure and change the world. Your average poor Filipina doesn't think big- they just think about tree immediate future, and lack the drive to change the world and adventure. I look for special women- ones I can take anywhere, that are up for anything, and that can help me grow as a person by pushing my limits. Middle class Filipinas were always a much better fit, as the poor ones just don't have much foresight it insight must of the time. We'll see how I feel about them on my next trip- I should be headed there for six weeks in 2017 to do some work at UP's TB clinic.
Well-said.

We all grow old, our looks fade, what remains is our personality. Cliché as it may sound, a hottie with brains will bring you far more joy then a hottie without any intellectual capacity. Guys who go for "simple" (code word for "stupid") are either selling themselves short, have a lack of long-term vision, or simply aren't awfully bright themselves and don't want to be outsmarted by their better half.

At the same time, my wife not having a career and staying at home is something we both prefer. In her free time, she focuses on extra studies, and on various creative pursuits, and the household. But when we get to sit down and talk, we always have something to talk about. She has an amazing sense of humor, she's kind, she's caring. She has a quick mind that keeps me sharp. Whereas a dull girl would just dull my mind.
On "Faux-Tradionalists" and why they're heading nowhere: viewtopic.php?style=1&f=37&t=29144
mentor
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Re: Dating Middle Class Filipinas

Post by mentor »

MarcosZeitola wrote:
We all grow old, our looks fade, what remains is our personality. Cliché as it may sound, a hottie with brains will bring you far more joy then a hottie without any intellectual capacity. Guys who go for "simple" (code word for "stupid") are either selling themselves short, have a lack of long-term vision, or simply aren't awfully bright themselves and don't want to be outsmarted by their better half.
This is generally true. But not always.
I know people with strong long term relationships, who gone very bad, because this intellectual capacity of the girl, was turned against them!
If you ask them now, they will tell you that it's not so good for a woman to be smart, intellectual, much educated, etc.
They just want a simple girl and a simple relationship.

The west is full of hot girls with intellectual capacities. The guys suffer because their smartness make them autonomous, more confident, more selfish, and so on.
I believe that human character is a very complex thing.
Sometimes you think you gain something only to find afterwards that it turned against you.
mentor
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Re: Dating Middle Class Filipinas

Post by mentor »

MarcosZeitola wrote:
mentor wrote:A good situation for me, maybe it would be, girls without parents, wanting 'no' kids. They do exist, I found some, and they seem ok.
But you never know of course. Anything has to be investigated.
A girl without parents will still have uncles, aunts who took her in. Relatives, siblings who are not well-off and who she would feel loyalty towards. She may even decide to sacrifice her own private life to work for them. Such a girl will often be even MORE inclined to send money to her family, then a girl who does have parents.

Another option would be: a girl who has a bad relationship with her parents\family. But what does this say about the girl? Her parents may have issues, but she may have issues herself just as easily. If her parents are dead, absent, unable to take care of her or they broke off contact, God only knows what happened to them. They may have been addicts for all you know. Things happen for a reason, and the best girls tend to come from close-knit, traditional families. Remember that.

A poor girl, who does not want kids, who does not have parents... this type of girl is damaged. Very badly damaged, mind you, because the Filipino is by nature an optimistic person and will strive for a better future for his or her children, even when facing adversity in his own upbringing. Having a good relationship with your in-laws is a very good thing to have, and can be much to your benefit. Another thing to keep in mind. If it weren't for my in-laws, my integration in Filipino society would have been far more difficult and I would have a much smaller social network to fall back on.

Furthermore: you want a housewife. You prefer her not to work. She has to be a Christian too. What will she do all day, when the house is clean and she's done cooking? Just, pray and sit on her pretty little butt while you are at work? Her eyes may start to wander, in all of her boredom. Knock her up, give her something to do. A purpose. Don't be cruel to the girl. Chances are, if you find one, she'll go along with your wishes but her heart won't be in it.

With your wishes, and criteria, the Philippines may not be for you. What you want, and what you want your wife to be like, are too contradictory. You say you are a traditonal Christian man, but you sound like a typical young Western man afraid of commitment and responsibility, who essentially wants a glorified maid. Hence she has to be "simple", and not want a family. And preferably not even have a family.
In millions of filipina girls, I have the hope that I can find a girl like I want it. No matter if it is really difficult.
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MarcosZeitola
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Re: Dating Middle Class Filipinas

Post by MarcosZeitola »

mentor wrote:The west is full of hot girls with intellectual capacities. The guys suffer because their smartness make them autonomous, more confident, more selfish, and so on.
I believe that human character is a very complex thing.
Sometimes you think you gain something only to find afterwards that it turned against you.
You make the mistake to think intelligence automatically means greater autonomy, or selfishness. It doesn't. My wife is a stay at home mother, takes care of the household, and at the same time she graduated from her nation's top university. We can have a good conversation, that matters, trust me. With your poor, simple Filipina you will not have good conversations. Her English knowledge will be very basic. She will be a glorified maid, and you will be bored of her.
mentor wrote:In millions of filipina girls, I have the hope that I can find a girl like I want it. No matter if it is really difficult.
A more likely scenario is: you will find a girl you THINK fits your ideal image of a wife. You bring her to your country. There, she either tries to change your mind, or she simply leaves you because you were just a meal ticket for her, a ticket out of her poverty-stricken life. You think you will be the first, to receive such a treatment? Think again. I am gave you honest advice, but you are too stubborn for your own good my friend. Hunter, broaden your hunting grounds, or you will surely go to bed hungry.
On "Faux-Tradionalists" and why they're heading nowhere: viewtopic.php?style=1&f=37&t=29144
mentor
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Re: Dating Middle Class Filipinas

Post by mentor »

MarcosZeitola wrote:
mentor wrote:The west is full of hot girls with intellectual capacities. The guys suffer because their smartness make them autonomous, more confident, more selfish, and so on.
I believe that human character is a very complex thing.
Sometimes you think you gain something only to find afterwards that it turned against you.
You make the mistake to think intelligence automatically means greater autonomy, or selfishness. It doesn't. My wife is a stay at home mother, takes care of the household, and at the same time she graduated from her nation's top university. We can have a good conversation, that matters, trust me. With your poor, simple Filipina you will not have good conversations. Her English knowledge will be very basic. She will be a glorified maid, and you will be bored of her.
mentor wrote:In millions of filipina girls, I have the hope that I can find a girl like I want it. No matter if it is really difficult.
A more likely scenario is: you will find a girl you THINK fits your ideal image of a wife. You bring her to your country. There, she either tries to change your mind, or she simply leaves you because you were just a meal ticket for her, a ticket out of her poverty-stricken life. You think you will be the first, to receive such a treatment? Think again. I am gave you honest advice, but you are too stubborn for your own good my friend. Hunter, broaden your hunting grounds, or you will surely go to bed hungry.

I am not gonna find a dynamic girl.
I will find a quiet one.

This deception with foreign women to leave their men, in order to find better luck, it is a usual attitude by bad girls of eastern europe.

I know other ones, that they do not even imagine 'start a war' against the man they gave them (not only materially) so much, even though they are not exactly as they imagined.
It is not the easiest thing for an immigrant, not moral, to start a 'war' against her benefactor, especially in a foreign country for her.
I admit though, that a 'bitch' could do it for sure.

After all, who has an ideal life? Not us, western men, not they, as filipina girls.
So, I will choose a girl, after long conversations, carefully watch of attitude, taking care of her, and she could screw me in the end? I don't tell it could not happen, of course it could.
But why?
What does a filipina want, after all?
They tell they want a simple and happy life.
And you give them a better environment, better life conditions, your love, your heart, your care, your respect. Useless all these? What else does a filipina girl wants? Not enough? Even if you agreed and working on these? All for cheating?
Then, may be there are not so innocent as they appear.
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HouseMD
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Re: Dating Middle Class Filipinas

Post by HouseMD »

mentor wrote:
MarcosZeitola wrote:
We all grow old, our looks fade, what remains is our personality. Cliché as it may sound, a hottie with brains will bring you far more joy then a hottie without any intellectual capacity. Guys who go for "simple" (code word for "stupid") are either selling themselves short, have a lack of long-term vision, or simply aren't awfully bright themselves and don't want to be outsmarted by their better half.
This is generally true. But not always.
I know people with strong long term relationships, who gone very bad, because this intellectual capacity of the girl, was turned against them!
If you ask them now, they will tell you that it's not so good for a woman to be smart, intellectual, much educated, etc.
They just want a simple girl and a simple relationship.

The west is full of hot girls with intellectual capacities. The guys suffer because their smartness make them autonomous, more confident, more selfish, and so on.
I believe that human character is a very complex thing.
Sometimes you think you gain something only to find afterwards that it turned against you.
That is a function of their values, not their intelligence. A smart girl can have good values if she was raised correctly. Intelligence isn't done corrupting force that overrides your upbringing and value system.
MarcosZeitola wrote: Well-said.

We all grow old, our looks fade, what remains is our personality. Cliché as it may sound, a hottie with brains will bring you far more joy then a hottie without any intellectual capacity. Guys who go for "simple" (code word for "stupid") are either selling themselves short, have a lack of long-term vision, or simply aren't awfully bright themselves and don't want to be outsmarted by their better half.

At the same time, my wife not having a career and staying at home is something we both prefer. In her free time, she focuses on extra studies, and on various creative pursuits, and the household. But when we get to sit down and talk, we always have something to talk about. She has an amazing sense of humor, she's kind, she's caring. She has a quick mind that keeps me sharp. Whereas a dull girl would just dull my mind.
There is nothing wrong with a bright girl staying home and raising kids. In fact, they'll be better at it- they'll know how to tutor your kids when school comes around, they know the value of education, and they can help nurture your kids intellectually. I'm not looking to have kids just yet (if ever) though, so a stay at home wife just wouldn't make sense. Without kids around, she'd be bored out of her skull. Particularly if I brought her to the USA where she has no social connections, which would leave her with no one to talk to and nothing to do. So for now, I like women that work a bit here and there so that they have some balance in their life. People often need some sort of purposeful routine to stay happy, and I'm so low maintenance that I can't really provide that.
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HouseMD
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Re: Dating Middle Class Filipinas

Post by HouseMD »

mentor wrote:
MarcosZeitola wrote:
mentor wrote:The west is full of hot girls with intellectual capacities. The guys suffer because their smartness make them autonomous, more confident, more selfish, and so on.
I believe that human character is a very complex thing.
Sometimes you think you gain something only to find afterwards that it turned against you.
You make the mistake to think intelligence automatically means greater autonomy, or selfishness. It doesn't. My wife is a stay at home mother, takes care of the household, and at the same time she graduated from her nation's top university. We can have a good conversation, that matters, trust me. With your poor, simple Filipina you will not have good conversations. Her English knowledge will be very basic. She will be a glorified maid, and you will be bored of her.
mentor wrote:In millions of filipina girls, I have the hope that I can find a girl like I want it. No matter if it is really difficult.
A more likely scenario is: you will find a girl you THINK fits your ideal image of a wife. You bring her to your country. There, she either tries to change your mind, or she simply leaves you because you were just a meal ticket for her, a ticket out of her poverty-stricken life. You think you will be the first, to receive such a treatment? Think again. I am gave you honest advice, but you are too stubborn for your own good my friend. Hunter, broaden your hunting grounds, or you will surely go to bed hungry.

I am not gonna find a dynamic girl.
I will find a quiet one.

This deception with foreign women to leave their men, in order to find better luck, it is a usual attitude by bad girls of eastern europe.

I know other ones, that they do not even imagine 'start a war' against the man they gave them (not only materially) so much, even though they are not exactly as they imagined.
It is not the easiest thing for an immigrant, not moral, to start a 'war' against her benefactor, especially in a foreign country for her.
I admit though, that a 'bitch' could do it for sure.

After all, who has an ideal life? Not us, western men, not they, as filipina girls.
So, I will choose a girl, after long conversations, carefully watch of attitude, taking care of her, and she could screw me in the end? I don't tell it could not happen, of course it could.
But why?
What does a filipina want, after all?
They tell they want a simple and happy life.
And you give them a better environment, better life conditions, your love, your heart, your care, your respect. Useless all these? What else does a filipina girl wants? Not enough? Even if you agreed and working on these? All for cheating?
Then, may be there are not so innocent as they appear.
They aren't innocent by default. They are people- some are innocent, some are evil, some are honest, others are schemers. You need to be careful, because material wealth is quickly acclimated to because of the way people are wired, and many of these girls will want more once they see it in America. The Filipino communities here, where the wives of American men congregate, often to talk trash about their spouses, are pretty rife with scandal. There's some good ones, but as they say, money can't buy love, so if you don't find one that actually loves you, you might end up getting taken for a ride, or the man they joke about over bubble tea and talk of who got the newest Coach bag.
mentor
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Re: Dating Middle Class Filipinas

Post by mentor »

I am thinking of telling 'I am not having the money you want' in any girl that contacts me.

When she will ask me what 'money' I am talking about, I could tell:
'the money you will ask me, if we proceed in a relationship, to support your family'.

As they say most of them, 'honesty is the best policy'.
Jonny Law
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Re:

Post by Jonny Law »

Winston wrote:Baron,
Thanks for your input.

So what about the Filipinos who are driving cars? Are they in the top 20 percent? How could they have purchased a car on 2 to 5 bucks a day?

And what about the ones I see in restaurants? And the ones in houses in gated communities? Don't some of the lower class save up to buy a house and car, thus becoming "middle class"?

So basically, most people in the Philippines fall into two categories:

1) greedy, shameless, leeching, lacking in pride, dignity and honor (lower classes), or
2) snobby, stuck up, unsociable outside of their clique, and think they are royalty (middle and upper classes)

Gee, what two shitty extremes. Why is it hard to find someone who is decent, has pride, dignity, morals, yet is open, friendly, down-to-earth, fun and sociable at the same time? Why is such a combination of traits so hard to find? I possess such traits, so why can't others?

Could it be that Filipinos are so easily corruptible and changeable because they lack any true inner beliefs and convictions? Just a theory.
WOW!!!

Dear Sir Winston,

You are a f***ing BASTARD!!! You are correct, yet HOW DARE YOU SAY ANYTHING BAD ABOUT BITCHES FROM THE PHILIPPINES!!!

You sure are going to PISS OFF a lot of HA forum patrons. This forum is filled with many people who just love women from the Philippines this includes myself. For the chicks from the Philippines are f***ed up but they are amazing.
davewe
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Re: Dating Middle Class Filipinas

Post by davewe »

OutWest wrote:
davewe wrote:
MarcosZeitola wrote:
mentor wrote:I was discussing with a friend the 'money' matter, and he told me:
" it is not a 'tradition', it is called 'poverty' " !!! And he continued: " They search for a fool, one man to work, and feed all the family back in their country! "
Quite shocking point of view, but I examine everything, as we do not live in a world of angels.

I don't know, maybe it's a good idea to declare somewhere in the profile, something that some filipinas already say in their profiles, 'not ask for money', or something like that.
May be this could discourage filipinas with this topic in mind, as a primary priority.
It is a different topic what I will decide about it later. But just back off the ones who search primarily for sponsors.
You are too focused on the money issue. Your criteria contradict themselves... you will not find what you are looking for this way. You want:

-A simple, traditional Filipina = tends to not come from a well-to-do family
-A girl who does not require financial support for her family = a financially independent, middle class girl
-A girl who does not want children = almost always an educated woman, almost always a career woman and not traditional

You can't have your cake and eat it too. Sorry, but this money issue is going to bite you in the a**. You won't find a "simple" Filipina girl who has no career, wants to stay at home and be a housewife, when you refuse to give her parents any support and refuse to give her children. This is why you are failing. You will have to look for the higher income Filipinas, or else you will fail. Mark my words.
+1

And since he is not higher income himself, he will not find one of these elusive middle or upper class Pinays. Finding an attractive, youngish Pinay who has a good job and/or money, and is interested in a Westerner who does not have a good job and/or money is like looking for a unicorn.

This is why many men fail abroad. Their requirements are contradictory.
Dave-

You got it. Most western men are so clueless. Given demographics of the country, most pinays are poor.
The middle class is less than 10%, and most are a world into themselves. Then you have Western dorks
Panting after them, when in reality, those girls are out of their class. I mean, really, you do not have to be very up the scale to not worry much if your lovely wife wants to send her mom a couple of hundred bucks every month.

What in the hell is wrong with these clueless nimrods?
Even if you don't have much money, you should be able to man up. If you are that obsessed with not spending money, why in the hell would you be looking for a wife?
Most of these fuc*ers are just looking for a filipina blow up doll. Their hearts are not any place that a pinay, rich or poor, would find a home. I do not mind seeing such men getting ripped off, they deserve it.
Thanks for saying it more directly than I did! "Filipina blow up doll" is exactly right and it sickens me. I have a couple of Filipina friends and even a sister in law who would love to meet a nice Western man, but do I know any? The girls are in most cases too good for the guys. I fixed up one couple (married and about to have a kid) and joke with Janet that we could set up a matchmaking service if only I knew more good Western men.

The problem is not finding a good Filipina!! There are plenty of them. It's finding a deserving Western man; there's not enough of those!
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