ATTENTION: The Forum will be upgraded today to phpbb 3.2 and may be down for a few hours. We appreciate your patience. Thanks.



Join John Adams, world renowned Intl Matchmaker, Monday nights 8:30 EST for Live Webcasts!
And check out Five Reasons why you should attend a FREE AFA Seminar! See locations and dates here.



View Active Topics       View Your Posts       Latest 100 Topics       FAQ Topics       Switch to Mobile


Dating Middle Class Filipinas?

Discuss culture, living, traveling, relocating, dating or anything related to the Asian countries - China, The Philippines, Thailand, etc.

Moderators: jamesbond, fschmidt

Re: Dating Middle Class Filipinas

Postby mentor » June 1st, 2016, 11:57 am

Considering that I want to find a filipina to be able to support herself there in Philippines, but being frugal and not work if I take her to my country,
should I focus on middle-class or lower class?
Do they accept, these middle class filipinas, when they relocate, not to work?
I have met online some of them, that they do not wanted to deal only with household, so I had to skip them.
Of course I find plenty of lower class filipinas that are satisfied with household task, so I do not complain.

But some opinions from you, may sharpen my focusing further.
mentor
Freshman Poster
 
Posts: 469
Joined: July 27th, 2015, 6:52 pm




Check out our Dating Sites and International Romance Tours!



Re: Dating Middle Class Filipinas

Postby OutWest » June 1st, 2016, 7:18 pm

mentor wrote:Considering that I want to find a filipina to be able to support herself there in Philippines, but being frugal and not work if I take her to my country,
should I focus on middle-class or lower class?
Do they accept, these middle class filipinas, when they relocate, not to work?
I have met online some of them, that they do not wanted to deal only with household, so I had to skip them.
Of course I find plenty of lower class filipinas that are satisfied with household task, so I do not complain.

But some opinions from you, may sharpen my focusing further.


The middle class is growing, but still small. Middle class families are not very motivated to marry off their daughters to foreigners though it does happen on occasion.
Attractive middle class girls in the Philippines tend to have options s.

Girls of any class want to marry up.
Know realistically what you can bring to the table.
OutWest
Veteran Poster
 
Posts: 2231
Joined: March 19th, 2011, 8:09 am
Location: Asia/USA

Re: Dating Middle Class Filipinas

Postby publicduende » June 1st, 2016, 7:45 pm

I fully second Outwest on this. Middle class girls from outside Metro Manila (which includes Davao, my current nest) will be too closely guarded by their parents and/or older aunties or brothers to date anyone seriously, let alone accept the lure of a long-term relationship or marriage, before they finish their college education and find a stable job.

For how much you guys like to wax lyrical on the Pinay prowess in bed, virginity remains a very precious value in middle and upper class family girls. Both the girl and her family won't even begin to entertain the notion of her dating a foreigner unless said foreigner is one or more of the following:

  • Young and good looking, to the good looking standards of Filipinos: the US one (fair skin, blue or green eyes, light brown or blonde hair, beach body) and the K-Pop one (even fairer skin, boyish angelic features, skinny, etc.)
  • Born-abroad Filipino or part-Filipino (e.g. the son of a British guy and a Filipina occasionally stationing in the Philippines), or at least first-world Asian (Japanese, Korean, Chinese, etc.)
  • From an equally middle or upper class family, possibly with roots in the Philippines (surprisingly, quite a few families in places like Spain and Portugal, Germany and France, US and Mexico have legacy in this country)
  • Tagalog or Cebuano/Bisaya-speaking, to the level that he can engage the girl and her family in a full casual conversations

The only exception is those rare Filipinas who get to see the outer world: those whose families can afford sending them to the US, Canada, Japan or Australia to study or work. Those ones will be relatively more open-minded and their families more open to the idea that their daughter's eventual love interests might be from their host country.

I too "bought" the myth that Pinoys are naturally drawn to foreigners. It's simply not true. In the West, the higher socio-cultural status a family has, the less they will be likely to be insular and racist. In the Philippines it's the reverse: the most close-minded towards a relationship with a Westerner are those who have no reason to marry their daughters to a scion of an equally high or higher status family. Most of those marriages are basically combined by the respective parents. Girl can meet one of a small number of boys in a family fiesta and choose the one she feels most attracted to. I have seen some truly gorgeous girls married up to physically unattractive boys just because his parents are doctors or OFWs and family chose so.

Last but not least: don't think that middle class family girls are so much better looking than their masa counterparts! Many of the "good" middle class girls will be of the bookworm type: chubby with a bit of acne, glasses and a bad sense of fashion. The competition is much fiercer for the middle class boys, actually, since most of the good ones will be part of the varsity basketball or arnis teams and more motivated to shape up and look fit.
publicduende
Elite Upper Class Poster
 
Posts: 3029
Joined: November 30th, 2011, 6:20 pm

Re: Dating Middle Class Filipinas

Postby OutWest » June 1st, 2016, 9:43 pm

publicduende wrote:I fully second Outwest on this. Middle class girls from outside Metro Manila (which includes Davao, my current nest) will be too closely guarded by their parents and/or older aunties or brothers to date anyone seriously, let alone accept the lure of a long-term relationship or marriage, before they finish their college education and find a stable job.

For how much you guys like to wax lyrical on the Pinay prowess in bed, virginity remains a very precious value in middle and upper class family girls. Both the girl and her family won't even begin to entertain the notion of her dating a foreigner unless said foreigner is one or more of the following:

  • Young and good looking, to the good looking standards of Filipinos: the US one (fair skin, blue or green eyes, light brown or blonde hair, beach body) and the K-Pop one (even fairer skin, boyish angelic features, skinny, etc.)
  • Born-abroad Filipino or part-Filipino (e.g. the son of a British guy and a Filipina occasionally stationing in the Philippines), or at least first-world Asian (Japanese, Korean, Chinese, etc.)
  • From an equally middle or upper class family, possibly with roots in the Philippines (surprisingly, quite a few families in places like Spain and Portugal, Germany and France, US and Mexico have legacy in this country)
  • Tagalog or Cebuano/Bisaya-speaking, to the level that he can engage the girl and her family in a full casual conversations

The only exception is those rare Filipinas who get to see the outer world: those whose families can afford sending them to the US, Canada, Japan or Australia to study or work. Those ones will be relatively more open-minded and their families more open to the idea that their daughter's eventual love interests might be from their host country.

I too "bought" the myth that Pinoys are naturally drawn to foreigners. It's simply not true. In the West, the higher socio-cultural status a family has, the less they will be likely to be insular and racist. In the Philippines it's the reverse: the most close-minded towards a relationship with a Westerner are those who have no reason to marry their daughters to a scion of an equally high or higher status family. Most of those marriages are basically combined by the respective parents. Girl can meet one of a small number of boys in a family fiesta and choose the one she feels most attracted to. I have seen some truly gorgeous girls married up to physically unattractive boys just because his parents are doctors or OFWs and family chose so.

Last but not least: don't think that middle class family girls are so much better looking than their masa counterparts! Many of the "good" middle class girls will be of the bookworm type: chubby with a bit of acne, glasses and a bad sense of fashion. The competition is much fiercer for the middle class boys, actually, since most of the good ones will be part of the varsity basketball or arnis teams and more motivated to shape up and look fit.



You combed this out far better than I .Most foreign men seem quite uninformed or deliberately delusional about the workings of Filipino families, especially the reclusive middle and upper classes. The idea that you will do a bride raid and take her back to the usa to be a housewife is fantasy. The middle and upper classes have a structure, and why should they compromise? At the very least, a foreign man may be taken more seriously if he is actually living in the Philippines and lives in a decent house with a housekeeper vs living in a room somewhere.
I know of only one other American man married to a filipina of the upper classes, and she was not a virgin when he married her. He worked at the defunct Intel plant in a management capacity. They now live in arizona. She got her master's at ASU , and she scored a housekeeper and a nice BMW. The grandparents in the Philippines see their grandkids numbers of times a year. The family has simply extended to arizona.
OutWest
Veteran Poster
 
Posts: 2231
Joined: March 19th, 2011, 8:09 am
Location: Asia/USA

Re: Dating Middle Class Filipinas

Postby Johnny1975 » June 2nd, 2016, 9:10 am

How seriously would you be taken if you...

are spanish
know some tagalog and want to learn more
know a bit about the history and culture and are willing to know more
want to either live there at least part time, or at least be a frequent visitor
are not wealthy but have enough
?
Location Independent Expat Relocate​

If you want to move abroad, but you can't decide where, I can help you.

http://lierelocate.weebly.com/
Johnny1975
Experienced Poster
 
Posts: 1461
Joined: September 23rd, 2012, 12:07 am

Re: Dating Middle Class Filipinas

Postby publicduende » June 2nd, 2016, 12:35 pm

Johnny1975 wrote:How seriously would you be taken if you...

are spanish
know some tagalog and want to learn more
know a bit about the history and culture and are willing to know more
want to either live there at least part time, or at least be a frequent visitor
are not wealthy but have enough
?


Are you younger than 30?
Are you in shape and decent looking?
Are you single, or you've been married before (with kids)?
Are you prepared to invest some of your wealth in your nest in the Philippines?

If you answered 'yes' to all 4 questions above, then you have a much higher chance to be good dating material for middle/upper class families outside Metro Manila (I assume you would like to settle outside the NCR area). Those girls might actively pursue you.

If you have answered 'no' to even one of those questions, your chances plunge to near cipher nought.

Outside Metro Manila, Filipino families or status/wealth are traditional, insular, cliquish.
publicduende
Elite Upper Class Poster
 
Posts: 3029
Joined: November 30th, 2011, 6:20 pm

Re: Dating Middle Class Filipinas

Postby Johnny1975 » June 2nd, 2016, 1:49 pm

publicduende wrote:
Johnny1975 wrote:How seriously would you be taken if you...

are spanish
know some tagalog and want to learn more
know a bit about the history and culture and are willing to know more
want to either live there at least part time, or at least be a frequent visitor
are not wealthy but have enough
?


Are you younger than 30?
Are you in shape and decent looking?
Are you single, or you've been married before (with kids)?
Are you prepared to invest some of your wealth in your nest in the Philippines?

If you answered 'yes' to all 4 questions above, then you have a much higher chance to be good dating material for middle/upper class families outside Metro Manila (I assume you would like to settle outside the NCR area). Those girls might actively pursue you.

If you have answered 'no' to even one of those questions, your chances plunge to near cipher nought.

Outside Metro Manila, Filipino families or status/wealth are traditional, insular, cliquish.


No
Good looking yes, not unhealthy, but I have a bit of a beer belly (not an unfixable problem)
Yes, single no kids
I don't understand that question.

I wouldn't be interested in people who are snobby.
Location Independent Expat Relocate​

If you want to move abroad, but you can't decide where, I can help you.

http://lierelocate.weebly.com/
Johnny1975
Experienced Poster
 
Posts: 1461
Joined: September 23rd, 2012, 12:07 am

Re: Dating Middle Class Filipinas?

Postby Winston » September 24th, 2017, 5:16 am

This white guy explains why dating in Philippines is hard for white guys. He says middle class filipinas are ideal but not easy to get.

Check out my video series Female Encounters of the Foreign Kind and Full Russia Trip Videos!

Also see my HA Grand Ebook and Join Our Dating Sites to support us!

"It takes far less effort to find and move to the society that has what you want than it does to try to reconstruct an existing society to match your standards." - Harry Browne, How I Found Freedom in an Unfree World
Winston
Site Admin
 
Posts: 25067
Joined: August 18th, 2007, 2:16 pm

Re: Dating Middle Class Filipinas?

Postby chanta76 » September 25th, 2017, 6:39 pm

Winston,


that white guy posted on youtube but look at all the responses beneath it . It's like half say his full of shit and the Philippines is easy picking and other half say his too picky.
chanta76
Experienced Poster
 
Posts: 1726
Joined: February 11th, 2008, 4:56 pm

Re: Dating Middle Class Filipinas?

Postby publicduende » September 25th, 2017, 11:15 pm

chanta76 wrote:Winston,


that white guy posted on youtube but look at all the responses beneath it . It's like half say his full of shit and the Philippines is easy picking and other half say his too picky.


He is a young, successful music producer who had a blast producing songs for some of the best-known artistas in the Philippines. I knew him by name as I watched some of his videos - renditions of classic Pinoy pop songs and a couple of his own songs and, before I watched the video above, I would have sworn he would be serially dating models and hot socialites.

Apparently not. Not even a man like him, with an actual career in close contacts with that coveted world of hotties, could access an "incredible" girl. And I believe that, by "incredible", he means a pretty, well-educated and intelligent girl.

Well, he is not too picky, he is simply asserting his preferences. Unlike 99.99% of men of all ages and walks of life who land in this country, he is unwilling to compromise.

His commentary about being able to find higher quality Filipinas overseases is spot on - the only problem I see is that the vast majority of OFWs are the nanny and domestic helper types who are forced to spend 6.5 days a week in their host house, with little or no flexibility. Singapore and Hong Kong are packed with them. They are not necessarily more good looking or smarter than the average desperate woman I find in Davao or around Mindanao.

A better bet are probably karaoke singers who have less exhausting and reclusive lifestyles. As far as I was told, if they have some youth and beauty on offer they will be, literally, hell-bent trying to find a man who can give them a ticket to a better life. I know a couple of men who landed impressively good looking Filipinas this way. How much their relationships with them is based on love or necessity, it's anyone's guess...

Worth mentioning: the Japayuki entertainer types, who are basically the rejects of the "karaoke visa" system. They are all inevitably single moms who fail to get a Japan or Korea visa as singers and they have to accept to become hostesses. I have met a couple of them (both in Manila) and the experience was enough to make me avoid them like the plague: just about better looking single moms with the diva attitude...because they once dated a couple of young American soldiers or a rich (if promiscuous) Chinese businessman who gave them a ring.

Truth be told, there is a tiny but growing minority of Filipinas who work in Singapore/HK, Australia or even Europe on good jobs: recruitment, administrative, project management, sometimes IT and even engineering. I have met a couple and they are quality girls. Only problem: they are mostly, inevitably, taken.
publicduende
Elite Upper Class Poster
 
Posts: 3029
Joined: November 30th, 2011, 6:20 pm

Re: Dating Middle Class Filipinas

Postby publicduende » September 25th, 2017, 11:26 pm

Johnny1975 wrote:No
Good looking yes, not unhealthy, but I have a bit of a beer belly (not an unfixable problem)
Yes, single no kids
I don't understand that question.

I wouldn't be interested in people who are snobby.


Assuming you're class of 1975 (I'm 1974), at our age looks stop mattering. With or without our beer bellies, the girls who have options will continue to shun us in favour of young, good looking Pinoy guys (perhaps from their own barkadas). Vice-versa, the girls who will want us because we are their best (if not only) bet, won't care at all about our looks.

My business partner's gilrfriend, the typical dark-skinned clueless uneducated girl from the province, landed a Frenchmen with blue eyes, plenty of money and a heart of gold. Her previous bf was a Norwegian chump in his late 50s who would chain-smoke, beat her up and buy beer with her meager wages. No surprise she feels in heaven.

People whom you call "snobby" are simply doing what everybody does: exercising their options. I know it's harsh self-criticism, but "sour grapes" come to mind.
publicduende
Elite Upper Class Poster
 
Posts: 3029
Joined: November 30th, 2011, 6:20 pm

Re: Dating Middle Class Filipinas

Postby Johnny1975 » September 26th, 2017, 1:05 am

publicduende wrote:
Johnny1975 wrote:No
Good looking yes, not unhealthy, but I have a bit of a beer belly (not an unfixable problem)
Yes, single no kids
I don't understand that question.

I wouldn't be interested in people who are snobby.


Assuming you're class of 1975 (I'm 1974), at our age looks stop mattering. With or without our beer bellies, the girls who have options will continue to shun us in favour of young, good looking Pinoy guys (perhaps from their own barkadas). Vice-versa, the girls who will want us because we are their best (if not only) bet, won't care at all about our looks.

My business partner's gilrfriend, the typical dark-skinned clueless uneducated girl from the province, landed a Frenchmen with blue eyes, plenty of money and a heart of gold. Her previous bf was a Norwegian chump in his late 50s who would chain-smoke, beat her up and buy beer with her meager wages. No surprise she feels in heaven.

People whom you call "snobby" are simply doing what everybody does: exercising their options. I know it's harsh self-criticism, but "sour grapes" come to mind.


I'm a good looking dude. The beer belly is fixable, and it's not even an issue. Look at the end of the day if I ever go there I will succeed because my mentality is very different to yours. Again I have to say, ask yourself why you have your experiences and views while others live in a very different world. I believe you've trapped yourself in your way of thinking. And you have your experience and your logic to back it all up. Meanwhile others are living in a different Philippines where abundance and quality is all around. And no, it's not always because they have low standards or whatever other reason you might think. You need to tear yourself away from this thinking that you have. It's very compelling and you do make lots of reasonable arguments that seem to make sense, but I don't think you realize how much your mindset has an effect on all this.
Location Independent Expat Relocate​

If you want to move abroad, but you can't decide where, I can help you.

http://lierelocate.weebly.com/
Johnny1975
Experienced Poster
 
Posts: 1461
Joined: September 23rd, 2012, 12:07 am

Re: Dating Middle Class Filipinas

Postby publicduende » September 26th, 2017, 2:30 am

Johnny1975 wrote:I'm a good looking dude. The beer belly is fixable, and it's not even an issue. Look at the end of the day if I ever go there I will succeed because my mentality is very different to yours. Again I have to say, ask yourself why you have your experiences and views while others live in a very different world. I believe you've trapped yourself in your way of thinking. And you have your experience and your logic to back it all up. Meanwhile others are living in a different Philippines where abundance and quality is all around. And no, it's not always because they have low standards or whatever other reason you might think. You need to tear yourself away from this thinking that you have. It's very compelling and you do make lots of reasonable arguments that seem to make sense, but I don't think you realize how much your mindset has an effect on all this.


If you come here, you will have success because your expectations are different from mine. If you shut down the thought that you will be dating the kinds of women we profusely discussed above, then you will be successful. You will have plenty of fun and even find a kind, devoted long term companion.

Just to be crystal-clear: the others and I are both living in the Philippines of abundance. Quality...that's down to definition. For most "quality" is any woman who is young, slender and willing to take care of their men for one short holiday week or life. There are plenty of those quality women around, I agree. I have a different definition of quality, for which there is real scarcity.
publicduende
Elite Upper Class Poster
 
Posts: 3029
Joined: November 30th, 2011, 6:20 pm

Re: Dating Middle Class Filipinas?

Postby gsjackson » September 26th, 2017, 4:01 am

publicduende wrote:
chanta76 wrote:Winston,


that white guy posted on youtube but look at all the responses beneath it . It's like half say his full of shit and the Philippines is easy picking and other half say his too picky.


He is a young, successful music producer who had a blast producing songs for some of the best-known artistas in the Philippines. I knew him by name as I watched some of his videos - renditions of classic Pinoy pop songs and a couple of his own songs and, before I watched the video above, I would have sworn he would be serially dating models and hot socialites.

Apparently not. Not even a man like him, with an actual career in close contacts with that coveted world of hotties, could access an "incredible" girl. And I believe that, by "incredible", he means a pretty, well-educated and intelligent girl.

Well, he is not too picky, he is simply asserting his preferences. Unlike 99.99% of men of all ages and walks of life who land in this country, he is unwilling to compromise.

His commentary about being able to find higher quality Filipinas overseases is spot on - the only problem I see is that the vast majority of OFWs are the nanny and domestic helper types who are forced to spend 6.5 days a week in their host house, with little or no flexibility. Singapore and Hong Kong are packed with them. They are not necessarily more good looking or smarter than the average desperate woman I find in Davao or around Mindanao.

A better bet are probably karaoke singers who have less exhausting and reclusive lifestyles. As far as I was told, if they have some youth and beauty on offer they will be, literally, hell-bent trying to find a man who can give them a ticket to a better life. I know a couple of men who landed impressively good looking Filipinas this way. How much their relationships with them is based on love or necessity, it's anyone's guess...

Worth mentioning: the Japayuki entertainer types, who are basically the rejects of the "karaoke visa" system. They are all inevitably single moms who fail to get a Japan or Korea visa as singers and they have to accept to become hostesses. I have met a couple of them (both in Manila) and the experience was enough to make me avoid them like the plague: just about better looking single moms with the diva attitude...because they once dated a couple of young American soldiers or a rich (if promiscuous) Chinese businessman who gave them a ring.

Truth be told, there is a tiny but growing minority of Filipinas who work in Singapore/HK, Australia or even Europe on good jobs: recruitment, administrative, project management, sometimes IT and even engineering. I have met a couple and they are quality girls. Only problem: they are mostly, inevitably, taken.


Well, in my opinion, if this guy runs into a quality Phillippina he's got some significant personal presentation problems to overcome. Even the Phils have probably moved past the '70s look of shirt unbuttoned almost to the navel, with necklace. It's generally anathema to western women now. His facial hair, including eyebrows, is groomed to a metrosexual faretheewell. His voice inflexion is about one tic away from flaming gay. Judging from the upper body, he's quite skinny. The ear rings complete the feminine look. Phils women might well have some trouble identifying him as a man.

But what do I know about Asian women and their preferences? God knows Thailand was swarming with effeminate males. Apparently same deal in Japan.
gsjackson
Experienced Poster
 
Posts: 1892
Joined: June 12th, 2010, 3:08 pm
Location: New Orleans, LA USA

Re: Dating Middle Class Filipinas?

Postby publicduende » September 26th, 2017, 5:14 am

gsjackson wrote:Well, in my opinion, if this guy runs into a quality Phillippina he's got some significant personal presentation problems to overcome. Even the Phils have probably moved past the '70s look of shirt unbuttoned almost to the navel, with necklace. It's generally anathema to western women now. His facial hair, including eyebrows, is groomed to a metrosexual faretheewell. His voice inflexion is about one tic away from flaming gay. Judging from the upper body, he's quite skinny. The ear rings complete the feminine look. Phils women might well have some trouble identifying him as a man.

But what do I know about Asian women and their preferences? God knows Thailand was swarming with effeminate males. Apparently same deal in Japan.


Dude...sorry...no :-) There is nothing wrong with him, the way he speaks, looks or dresses. He's a fine specimen of young man who, a bit like me, tried to hit the combo of establishing himself business-wise and landing a top-quality Pinay bird.

Just as in my case, he found it easier to make inroads with the business that counts, than date the girl of his dreams. I am not making further comparisons not to sound preposterous, but I believe him when he says that - if the expectations are set where they should be - dating quality girls in the Philippines is way harder than, say, mainland China.

All in all, I think the Philippines will stay at the destination of choice for men who are prepared to give up any appreciable human quality found in a woman, in exchange for easy lays and the pleasure of hitting a girl 20, 30 years younger.

Again, pardon the cynicism but that's what it is.
publicduende
Elite Upper Class Poster
 
Posts: 3029
Joined: November 30th, 2011, 6:20 pm

PreviousNext

Return to Asia, China, Philippines, Thailand

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 3 guests