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Dating Middle Class Filipinas

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Re: Dating Middle Class Filipinas

Postby mentor » Wed Jun 01, 2016 10:57 am

Considering that I want to find a filipina to be able to support herself there in Philippines, but being frugal and not work if I take her to my country,
should I focus on middle-class or lower class?
Do they accept, these middle class filipinas, when they relocate, not to work?
I have met online some of them, that they do not wanted to deal only with household, so I had to skip them.
Of course I find plenty of lower class filipinas that are satisfied with household task, so I do not complain.

But some opinions from you, may sharpen my focusing further.
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Re: Dating Middle Class Filipinas

Postby OutWest » Wed Jun 01, 2016 6:18 pm

mentor wrote:Considering that I want to find a filipina to be able to support herself there in Philippines, but being frugal and not work if I take her to my country,
should I focus on middle-class or lower class?
Do they accept, these middle class filipinas, when they relocate, not to work?
I have met online some of them, that they do not wanted to deal only with household, so I had to skip them.
Of course I find plenty of lower class filipinas that are satisfied with household task, so I do not complain.

But some opinions from you, may sharpen my focusing further.


The middle class is growing, but still small. Middle class families are not very motivated to marry off their daughters to foreigners though it does happen on occasion.
Attractive middle class girls in the Philippines tend to have options s.

Girls of any class want to marry up.
Know realistically what you can bring to the table.
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Re: Dating Middle Class Filipinas

Postby publicduende » Wed Jun 01, 2016 6:45 pm

I fully second Outwest on this. Middle class girls from outside Metro Manila (which includes Davao, my current nest) will be too closely guarded by their parents and/or older aunties or brothers to date anyone seriously, let alone accept the lure of a long-term relationship or marriage, before they finish their college education and find a stable job.

For how much you guys like to wax lyrical on the Pinay prowess in bed, virginity remains a very precious value in middle and upper class family girls. Both the girl and her family won't even begin to entertain the notion of her dating a foreigner unless said foreigner is one or more of the following:

  • Young and good looking, to the good looking standards of Filipinos: the US one (fair skin, blue or green eyes, light brown or blonde hair, beach body) and the K-Pop one (even fairer skin, boyish angelic features, skinny, etc.)
  • Born-abroad Filipino or part-Filipino (e.g. the son of a British guy and a Filipina occasionally stationing in the Philippines), or at least first-world Asian (Japanese, Korean, Chinese, etc.)
  • From an equally middle or upper class family, possibly with roots in the Philippines (surprisingly, quite a few families in places like Spain and Portugal, Germany and France, US and Mexico have legacy in this country)
  • Tagalog or Cebuano/Bisaya-speaking, to the level that he can engage the girl and her family in a full casual conversations

The only exception is those rare Filipinas who get to see the outer world: those whose families can afford sending them to the US, Canada, Japan or Australia to study or work. Those ones will be relatively more open-minded and their families more open to the idea that their daughter's eventual love interests might be from their host country.

I too "bought" the myth that Pinoys are naturally drawn to foreigners. It's simply not true. In the West, the higher socio-cultural status a family has, the less they will be likely to be insular and racist. In the Philippines it's the reverse: the most close-minded towards a relationship with a Westerner are those who have no reason to marry their daughters to a scion of an equally high or higher status family. Most of those marriages are basically combined by the respective parents. Girl can meet one of a small number of boys in a family fiesta and choose the one she feels most attracted to. I have seen some truly gorgeous girls married up to physically unattractive boys just because his parents are doctors or OFWs and family chose so.

Last but not least: don't think that middle class family girls are so much better looking than their masa counterparts! Many of the "good" middle class girls will be of the bookworm type: chubby with a bit of acne, glasses and a bad sense of fashion. The competition is much fiercer for the middle class boys, actually, since most of the good ones will be part of the varsity basketball or arnis teams and more motivated to shape up and look fit.
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Re: Dating Middle Class Filipinas

Postby OutWest » Wed Jun 01, 2016 8:43 pm

publicduende wrote:I fully second Outwest on this. Middle class girls from outside Metro Manila (which includes Davao, my current nest) will be too closely guarded by their parents and/or older aunties or brothers to date anyone seriously, let alone accept the lure of a long-term relationship or marriage, before they finish their college education and find a stable job.

For how much you guys like to wax lyrical on the Pinay prowess in bed, virginity remains a very precious value in middle and upper class family girls. Both the girl and her family won't even begin to entertain the notion of her dating a foreigner unless said foreigner is one or more of the following:

  • Young and good looking, to the good looking standards of Filipinos: the US one (fair skin, blue or green eyes, light brown or blonde hair, beach body) and the K-Pop one (even fairer skin, boyish angelic features, skinny, etc.)
  • Born-abroad Filipino or part-Filipino (e.g. the son of a British guy and a Filipina occasionally stationing in the Philippines), or at least first-world Asian (Japanese, Korean, Chinese, etc.)
  • From an equally middle or upper class family, possibly with roots in the Philippines (surprisingly, quite a few families in places like Spain and Portugal, Germany and France, US and Mexico have legacy in this country)
  • Tagalog or Cebuano/Bisaya-speaking, to the level that he can engage the girl and her family in a full casual conversations

The only exception is those rare Filipinas who get to see the outer world: those whose families can afford sending them to the US, Canada, Japan or Australia to study or work. Those ones will be relatively more open-minded and their families more open to the idea that their daughter's eventual love interests might be from their host country.

I too "bought" the myth that Pinoys are naturally drawn to foreigners. It's simply not true. In the West, the higher socio-cultural status a family has, the less they will be likely to be insular and racist. In the Philippines it's the reverse: the most close-minded towards a relationship with a Westerner are those who have no reason to marry their daughters to a scion of an equally high or higher status family. Most of those marriages are basically combined by the respective parents. Girl can meet one of a small number of boys in a family fiesta and choose the one she feels most attracted to. I have seen some truly gorgeous girls married up to physically unattractive boys just because his parents are doctors or OFWs and family chose so.

Last but not least: don't think that middle class family girls are so much better looking than their masa counterparts! Many of the "good" middle class girls will be of the bookworm type: chubby with a bit of acne, glasses and a bad sense of fashion. The competition is much fiercer for the middle class boys, actually, since most of the good ones will be part of the varsity basketball or arnis teams and more motivated to shape up and look fit.



You combed this out far better than I .Most foreign men seem quite uninformed or deliberately delusional about the workings of Filipino families, especially the reclusive middle and upper classes. The idea that you will do a bride raid and take her back to the usa to be a housewife is fantasy. The middle and upper classes have a structure, and why should they compromise? At the very least, a foreign man may be taken more seriously if he is actually living in the Philippines and lives in a decent house with a housekeeper vs living in a room somewhere.
I know of only one other American man married to a filipina of the upper classes, and she was not a virgin when he married her. He worked at the defunct Intel plant in a management capacity. They now live in arizona. She got her master's at ASU , and she scored a housekeeper and a nice BMW. The grandparents in the Philippines see their grandkids numbers of times a year. The family has simply extended to arizona.
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Re: Dating Middle Class Filipinas

Postby Johnny1975 » Thu Jun 02, 2016 8:10 am

How seriously would you be taken if you...

are spanish
know some tagalog and want to learn more
know a bit about the history and culture and are willing to know more
want to either live there at least part time, or at least be a frequent visitor
are not wealthy but have enough
?
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Re: Dating Middle Class Filipinas

Postby publicduende » Thu Jun 02, 2016 11:35 am

Johnny1975 wrote:How seriously would you be taken if you...

are spanish
know some tagalog and want to learn more
know a bit about the history and culture and are willing to know more
want to either live there at least part time, or at least be a frequent visitor
are not wealthy but have enough
?


Are you younger than 30?
Are you in shape and decent looking?
Are you single, or you've been married before (with kids)?
Are you prepared to invest some of your wealth in your nest in the Philippines?

If you answered 'yes' to all 4 questions above, then you have a much higher chance to be good dating material for middle/upper class families outside Metro Manila (I assume you would like to settle outside the NCR area). Those girls might actively pursue you.

If you have answered 'no' to even one of those questions, your chances plunge to near cipher nought.

Outside Metro Manila, Filipino families or status/wealth are traditional, insular, cliquish.
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Re: Dating Middle Class Filipinas

Postby Johnny1975 » Thu Jun 02, 2016 12:49 pm

publicduende wrote:
Johnny1975 wrote:How seriously would you be taken if you...

are spanish
know some tagalog and want to learn more
know a bit about the history and culture and are willing to know more
want to either live there at least part time, or at least be a frequent visitor
are not wealthy but have enough
?


Are you younger than 30?
Are you in shape and decent looking?
Are you single, or you've been married before (with kids)?
Are you prepared to invest some of your wealth in your nest in the Philippines?

If you answered 'yes' to all 4 questions above, then you have a much higher chance to be good dating material for middle/upper class families outside Metro Manila (I assume you would like to settle outside the NCR area). Those girls might actively pursue you.

If you have answered 'no' to even one of those questions, your chances plunge to near cipher nought.

Outside Metro Manila, Filipino families or status/wealth are traditional, insular, cliquish.


No
Good looking yes, not unhealthy, but I have a bit of a beer belly (not an unfixable problem)
Yes, single no kids
I don't understand that question.

I wouldn't be interested in people who are snobby.
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DO IT!
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