1. Why do Russians shame you if you're not a big spender who freely spends in compliance with whatever they tell you to spend on? Yet Russians themselves are not free spenders but count their money. They do not give away anything for free. A Russian church will not even give you a free Bible. And a Russian cashier will not let it go if you are short one kopek (3 cents). They definitely count their money for sure. So why then is it "bad behavior" for a foreigner to count their money but it's acceptable for a Russian person to do so? What's the logic here?
Russia has several classes. One is the oligarchs- the uber rich. These will not ask you for shyt. Then, there is the intelligentsia class- artists, poets, writers, musicians, composers, etc- these will also not ask you for anything and will even help you. They however, do not speak foreign languages and you will not meet them unless yo speak Russian.
Then, you have the peasant classes- they are similar to the Filipino rural people who are very communal, who share everything and who depend on a large group of friends. The upper two classes do not mingle with them. They also used to be serfs- please do a research on serfdom- basically slavery and they do not see work as something that leads to reward but just as drudgery for the benefit of the feudal lord. Communism did not eliminate those classes, but simply dressed them in red color temporarily. Now, they are back to normal.
The intelligentsia and the olygarchs
do not mingle with these peasants/serfs because they know they have no dignity and that they do not see money as something earned by the person who had earned it but something that a feudal lord has because the peasants worked for him. Therefore the lord owes the money back to the masses.
Why do they shame you? Because you chose to be the member of the oppressed peasant stratum and now that you are one of them ( because neither the intelligentsia not the olygarchs will be caught dead among them) you should now share- because they share inside of their groups. The richer ones protect the poorer ones and the ones who are on equal footing share freely among each other.
This has been the system for the past few thousand years. You want to change it? Good luck!
2. What right does a Russian have to force a foreigner to spend freely against his will, and force him to "waste money" against his will?
We are not talking about rights here. We are talking about tendencies and rules within their peasant groupings. There, a rich peasant who chose to hang out with them is supposed to share with the poor ones- the same in Thailand, Philippines, etc. This is why anyone with money stays away from these communal groups of rural folks. They will suck money out of you to equalize the field before you know. The above classes do not associate with them and neither should you. As in Thailand and the Philippines, a naive 1st worlder with a bleeding heart loses his shirts among these people who do not value money as they are used to land being the source of livelihood. Neither America, nor Taiwan have peasant classes and you still do not know how they operate.
3. Why is it that whenever I send the above questions to a Russian, even an educated intelligent Russian (such as the Russian woman chess champion I quoted above), they always deny it and claim that they have no idea what I'm talking about and don't know any Russians who are like this? How can something be an INTEGRAL part of Russian behavior yet be constantly denied? That doesn't make sense and is illogical. Are these people lying or in denial? Or they will give a copout answer and say that "you just don't understand Russian people" without giving any logical explanations to the questions.
Well, no one likes for foreigners to criticize his country- do you? They will just either deny it or tell you to get the hell out of there. And they don't know such people because they don't associate with the peasantry and the peasantry knows better than to ask them for money. The classes
do not mingle. Same as in the Philippines.
Did you see how the rich in the Philippines live? Behind high fences with glass shards and barbed wire on top of them. And no way in hell will they allow their son to date the peasant classes because these will bleed the rich dry. But here comes the
Amerikano and the peasants just love him. He associates with them and dates their daughters ( the rich Filipinos think this as a suicidal act) and he treats them to dinner- now, lets turn up the volume a bit and ask the American for money and now for more money. Oh, by the way, they just saw an American movie and it said America is the richest nation on earth, so Americans have unlimited money. Unlike them. Hey Joe, give me money. And give me more money.
Stupid Joe!
Naive foreigners who do not speak Russian and who do not know the culture and who go there just to date the blonds are the ones who get ripped off.
The stinginess you are talking about is from a stranger to a stranger and from the poorer to the richer. Within family and friend groupings everything is shared and those who are richer patronize those who are poorer.
Generally, if you don't speak Russian and do not know how things are in Russia, you will never understand it. Most foreigners do not learn Russian and do not even crack a book on Russian history and ways. They just want girls, girls, girls. And they walk around like they are hot shyt while they are in a foreign country on a visa which can be revoked at any time.
The ones who do things the Russian way, learn Russian and integrate into the culture on local terms have few problems.