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Discuss culture, living, traveling, relocating, dating or anything related to Russia, Ukraine, or the former Soviet Republics.
13 posts • Page 1 of 1
Many American men complain that they went to Russia and got taken to the cleaners by unscrupulous local women. They post articles on the Web warning other American men not to go there and are telling all sorts of horror stories.
Here is my advice on what to do if you like Russian women and are planning to tie your destiny with them and consequently, their country. If you follow this advice, you will maximize your chances of having a normal relationship there which will grow into true love and which will last a lifetime. Please keep in mind the following points:
1) There are gold diggers there, but about as many as in the US or many other countries. However, if you are a money-oriented person, and think that you will impress people with your money- you will attract just that- a person who will use you for your money. Isn't it logical? Many Americans are money-driven, and they think that if they are successful businessmen and are into careers, Russian women will like them. In other words, they approach Russian women the way they would approach American women. "I am this and that and I have this car and this house, do you like me now?Sure, a gold digger will be the one who likes you. Then, do not complain when you get taken for a ride.
In Russia, as a rule, a foreigner could not get by with just his native language and score with the local girls. It would be impossible. One had to speak Russian. So it would be with you. You are in their country that is in a political/economical trouble. But they are developing awful fast and getting richer by the year. So, if you go there thinking you do not have to learn the language or the local culture because you are a big shot American savior, you will be taken for a ride. And then, who do you have to blame?
Think about if a rich Arab or a rich Japanese would go to the US, and then not speak English and think that because he is rich he should not follow the local culture/learn the local language, and that he could date local girls and score with them. Good luck! He would probably just get a hooker that would take him to the cleaners. And who would be to blame?
Or think about you being a rich New Yorker going to the South and trying to show off-â€œ I am a rich Yankee, Come on you miserable rednecks, give me your girls, I will save them from the horrors of the Appalachia! See how long you will last before you get shot!
When you go to Russia, you need to speak Russian. Broken Russian will do. But speak the bloody language, please! Take some courses. Buy books, study their culture and go there to try to fit in. People there generally like foreigners from the West provided they try and adopt themselves to the local culture. Otherwise you will just attract a gold digger.
This is what the girls there are attracted to for the most part:
1) Your looks. I mean it. Do not be fat. If you are balding, think of a hair transplant or any kind of hair replacement. Do not dress in sneakers and jeans. It means you do not think appearances matter. Look good. Dress well, for heaven's sake! Have some class in clothes and footwear. The more of a gentleman you look, the more they will like you.
2) Your personality.
a) In America you need to blow your horn and act independent and arrogant to show you are somebody. Not there. You need to be humble. This is what they like. Polite and friendly, too.
b) Be a humorist. I mean it. Joke, act like a clown sometimes. They love clowns ( in moderation, of course). They absolutely go crazy if you have a sense of humor, are witty and can crack a few jokes here and there.
c) Have some talent. If you play a musical instrument, and sing songs, that will awe them. If when you go out you can play the piano or the guitar and sing songs, particularly Russian songs, you will conquer the girls in a heartbeat. They will be yours! I mean it. If you are an artist, show them your art. They will be awe-struck!
d) Be a happy and positive guy, and jovial as well, Create parties there. Take them to restaurants. Be romantic. Take walks by the river or in the woods with them. Buy them some little things. Flowers and all. Write some cute notes and send them those. They will melt!
e) Be intelligent/intellectual. Try and have conversations on all sorts of different topics. Politics ( Russian politics in particular, arts, literature, etc) Take them to a museum and show them you enjoy arts and all. Study about Russian artists, poets, quote them ( in Russian, please).
3) Only after that comes your career. And please talk sparingly about it. Show them that you work to live and not live to work.
The Russians are not a Germanic civilization. They are Slavs. In a way, they are closer to Latins than Anglo- Saxons. Soul is what matters to them, not the anal behavior that so many people of Anglo- Saxon countries display. Some Russian girls who marry Brits complain that they ( the Brits) are as cold as dead fish and just work. They are anally retentive- â€œjust like â€œNazis'.
If the women get no warmth or humanity out of a husband, but just business and money and anal-ism- being overly punctual, being a cleanliness freak, a stickler to details and all that, your relationship may fall apart. Please read up on their culture before you go and try and act their way, not your way. If you think you can get something without giving up something, you are dead wrong. You may have to give up some of the American habits and behavior if you want to accommodate them, and want them to fall in love with you.
When you act like them( displaying the good aspects of them- soulfulness, humor, friendliness and communality, romanticism, artistic-ity, aestheticism, culture, refinement, depth of thinking, poetic dreaminess), you will attract the good in them and find a very nice woman among them with whom you will chime. And who will love you eternally. However, if you go there and do not make adjustments, are always in a hurry, always talking about business and money, do not respect their ways, and do not learn Russian, you will only find the woman that is interested in a money-making man- in other words â€œan American woman from RussiaÂ�, so to speak. And then, don't start posting on the Internet about how you got taken to the cleaners.
I will challenge you to find even one American man who went to Russia, learned the language, met the girls the natural way in their environment, speaking their language and following their social rules, who got taken to the cleaners by a gold digger. Impossible!. But arrogant fat ( oftentimes, nor figuratively) cats , who were throwing money around, speaking English only and acting like they were God's gift to Russia went down big time. Their country? Their rules. Don't ever think you will be an exception to that principle.
If you are, however, a lupine businessman type whose only interest is making big bucks and who has no time for soulfulness, humor, culture and romantic aestheticism, don't go to Russia. Your choice should be Chinese girls. From China, Singapore, Hong Kong and Malaysia. Or the Vietnamese ones. Even the Japanese. These do not like jokers or funny, friendly guys, as a rule. These are seen as not worthy of respect. They like sullen- looking, glum and busy fat cats. These will be running business with you, working hard and being happy with you the way you are. You will find no gold diggers among those as a rule- mostly good business partners and good wives. Just make sure you are really successful and are making good money. And working your rear off for 12-15 hours a day.
So, look at your personality and see if you really fit in with the Russian women's predilections of a man. If not, do yourself a favor- do not waste your time with them. Or waste their time with you, for that matter.
A brain is a terrible thing to wash!
Nice observations Ladislav.
I've met some really nice Ukrainians here in the US this year.
I have been invited to visit Ukraine and will be planning a trip next year around may. My friends live in Sumy.
I'm also thinking in to learning basic Russian with The Rosetta Stone software.
As you've mentioned, speaking the language will make things so much easier and natural.
One of my friends, an attractive Russian descent Ukrainian girl mentioned that I would "look cute" if I could speak Russian while traveling there.
I liked your post, and I think that you are Right on most of your post. I did wonder as to the very end. As my self, I would think that living a great life is being happy. Not rich, and just being happy. As most people that have to much life all involved in money, and woman that want it, life will be hell. I think that maybe living in the country side of Ukraine, and or Russia with the Love of your life, for Life would be great. Just a simple life, but happy doing simple things, and not worried about what other people are doing, or what they have. I am not poor, but I am not rich. I see my life not going anywhere here in America, and I struggle to make payments each month on a house that is so very empty, and lonely alone. Why ? When I could do as a few others on here, move to Ukraine, and buy a old Dasha, fix it up, just live there, and be happy with a simple life, and making good friends. To maybe in time find the good woman to fall in love with, marry, have children, and to live with her for life. In America, everyone wants more, and more. It is endless, pointless, and breeds unhappiness in time. I feel for the AM there is no future happiness for him here, if he wants to stay a man, and have his point of view, as to be the Man. While in Ukraine, I was not having to prove my man hood, as we as men are respected as such. We can be happy there, as compared to buying our Man hood in America, and most always losing it to a Ex Wife, and all we have had otherwise. Then trying to start over, again, and again. I feel that being poor, having many friends, happily married, in a country that is not my homeland sounds better to me, than being rich, in my home country, only fake rich friends, and a unhappy married life. I remember many years ago, when life in America was not like this, and you could have a good life, and be happy. That is if you were lucky enough to find the right woman. I did not, and it did not work out. I dated, and dated many hundreds of woman, and for many years. Only in time that they would do something stupid, and or say some thing so stupid that I would dump them. As seeing that I could not ever be married to them, and if I did, it would end in Divorce. Why ? Because woman in America are not fair, and they think so opposite of us men, and in time, they want to wear the pants, and not be willing to respect their husband. This all ending in Divorce. I can not see myself happy married in America, even if I brought a wife here from the FSU. I think that I would see this relationship go down the toilet, as all here do. That my wife would become a greedy bitch in time, as all the AW are in America, and she would leave me for a Rich guy. I have many friends that are from Russia, and they tell me the same thing. They do not tell me to move there, as they would like me to stay here. They are married to their Russian wives, and they are not that happy either, as they are working night, and day to get more, More, and MORE. A bigger house, a nicer car, and a privet school for their children. Where is the end ? I hear many Russian man say that they would like to go back to the FSU, and they would be much happier. I used to think that they were crazy, but I understand now. They see the ( Light at the end of the tunnel, as so to speak ) and they have not been here that long. Its like smelling death, or the stink of it. Their happy simple life is gone, and there is only Up, and If you do not go up, in time you will crash, and everything will end. But even if you do work hard, and give your wife, and family everything, it may end, and or you may be divorced by your wife. Why ? A good hard working man is not respected in America, and he is used by his wife for her gain. I have a friend of mine telling me, his wife did not like her SUV, and she wanted a Lexus instead. She bitched, and complained for many months, and was mean to him. So Finally, he gave in, and traded the SUV in, and is now making payments on a brand New Lexus SUV. He is always working night, and day, even before this, and he is from Russia. I will assume it is to make the wife happy, and to not have to argue with her when at home. As the hard working fool is going home, eating, and going to sleep. No life, and no respect as a man. As the woman saying, I want this, and I want that, see what they have, why can't we have that. It's like living with a bitch mother in law Now would that be a nightmare ? I almost did, and I divorced my wife before it got worse. I see many other countries just like it is here in the USA, and many unhappy Men in very unhappy marriages. But very few countries have happy men, and most of them that are happily married, they live in very poor countries, as there the woman is not in charge, and or so greedy. They are just trying to survive, and just go get by, and so there is a much happier life, as compared to here in the USA, and or any of the other much richer countries than the FSU. If a man does marry a Russian woman, he must take much time visiting, and or living there, and finding the good woman, one that is not the opportunist, not the greedy woman. Maybe a good Christian woman, if you can find her. As then your marriage may last a lifetime ? What do you think ?
Believe me, I have been thinking about traveling to the Ukraine for a while now. I have looked at a lot of different websites on living in the Ukraine and traveling to the Ukraine. One good site is http://www.escapeartist.com/ukraine/moving.html
America is a dating and sexual wilderness to men! Just look at how many women Winston met while traveling to Russian and now living in the Philippines!
I'm living in Moscow now & I agree with Ladislav. Normal Russian women aren't interested in your arrogance or you waving money around. Remember they grew up with their fathers earning little money & their boyfriends work for around $100 a month. Of course, rich Russians like to park their new black BMWs at the door of a fine restaurant in Arbat, but this isn't done to impress single women.
I have to tell you a year ago a 2 roomed flat was 25,000 roubles & now is 35,000 roubles a month, so I'm not sure how ordinary Russians pay thier bills.
I was interested in AM_Wants_RW_for_life's post. OK, you are talking about many issues (not just dating Russians). I'm not sure what precipitated Western Women acting like this - maybe feminism & stupid political correctness. But considering we let children rule the roost now, I'm not suprised we have a generation of out of control women & kids. I think its too late for Western countries, we've opened a pandoras box that now we can't return to the past.
I'm getting off-track. I am very content & I think I can live my life here, (I've read advice not to take the wife back to the West). So I'll see what happens.
"Woman is a violent and uncontrolled animal... If you allow them to achieve complete equality with men, do you think they will be easier to live with? Not at all. Once they have achieved equality, they will be your masters." Cato the Elder
She just sent this email below. She has a very lame profile on here, and says she is N.Y. and is a student. But in reality she is a African Scammer. She sent to me a privet email on the site here, so watch out guys. Here is her email below. It is just a matter of time, and she would be asking for $ to get out of her situation, and then the scam would be born. So watch out.
I am more than happy in your reply to my email.
How is your day ?. Mine is a little bit cold over here in dakar senegal
My name is Nelly I 'm 23, from liberia in
west african,5.3ft tall, Fair in complexion,(never
married before )and presently i am residing in the
refugee camp here in dakar as a result of the civil
war that was fought in my country.
My late father Dr Wilson Khalifa was the
the personal advicer to the former head of state
before the rebels attacked our house one early morning
and killed my mother and my father in cold blood.
It was only me that is alive now and I managed to make
my way to a near by country senegal where i am living
now in a refugee camp,and this computer is belonging
to a revrend father that has a church here in the camp.
I would like to know more about you.Your likes and
dislikes,your hobbies and what you are doing
I will tell you more about myself in my next mail.
Attached here is my picture.pls send me more pictures.
Hoping to hear from you soonest
Totally true. He who brags too much gets treated badly. I had an ex boyfriend (not American) that was successful. On our first date, all he did was talk about money, then he took me on a $1,000 shopping spree for clothes. I loved it..at first. But then it got old. The best thing a person can do is show their personalities first, then money second. Then girls will respect you more.
This has nothing to do just with dating russian girls at all, I know. But I do feel that it is a universal truth to be used for anywhere.
News flash: Russians are making their own money now. You're more than a decade behind in your generalizations about Russian economy, culture and society. Russia's doing great right now. Some of the highest oil and gold reserves, 13% flat income tax, and new Russian millionaires are made everyday. It won't be long before the Euro crashes just like the dollar did, because Europeans are acting like pompous hypocrites just like Americans did while they were prosperous in the 1990s. It's only a matter of time before pretentious EU super-power wannabes will be in the whore house .. *cough* I meant "poor house." I'm not one for carpet bagging on foreign bank repos ... but a dacha in the PyrÃ©nÃ©es might be nice.
(These comments probably belong on the flaming/bashing board .. sorry for feeding the trolls)
"The limits of my language mean the limits of my world." -Ludwig Wittgenstein
W: Unless, of course, you're an Asian man. Sure they will date Asians, but the difference is that they don't like to put out with Asian men, only with white men. They will use both Asian and White Americans, but they will only put out for the White man.
With me, they are happy to take my money, but not act like a real GF, meaning they make excuses not to sleep with me, such as "My mother's waiting for me, I got to get home." etc.
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"It takes far less effort to find and move to the society that has what you want than it does to try to reconstruct an existing society to match your standards." - Harry Browne, How I Found Freedom in an Unfree World
Hey Winston, everybody.
Glad to be on the site.
I haven't been abroad yet, but I noticed that being able to speak another language is critical for getting the ladies. This even works in the US. You don't even need to know the language that well. Just a few phrases to break the ice!!!!!!!!
It seems to make them horny!! I swear!!!! They must think I'm some big hotshot traveler because I know the basics of about three different language. They want me to teach them and they won't leave my side for the whole night. Then you invite them home for more lessons, if you catch my drift.
I don't make a whole lot of money either, that's the crazy thing. And traveling abroad for girls might be too expensive for us with limited incomes. But learning languages is cheap. I found the best deals at http://YourLanguageResource.com. Its owsome.
Seriously, guys. try it. you can work over any girl you want.