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8 Reasons Asian men have a better social life in Russia

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8 Reasons Asian men have a better social life in Russia

Postby Winston » Sun Aug 01, 2010 8:25 pm

From a letter by Ladislav to me long ago, which I added to my ebook:

8 Reasons Asian men have a better social life in Russia than in America

"Winston

If you still have not figured it out, do not rack your brains over it. It is several reasons, not one- so it
is a combination of factors that lead to the different results you are experiencing. Here they are one by one:

1) East Orthodox Slavic culture vs. Anglo-Celto-Germanic. Communal and friendly vs. individualistic-cliqueish one.

Russians are generally friendlier people when it comes to strangers because of their communal past- even long before Communism. They are used to including strange people into their group. Anglos on the other hand like to be alone, do not like people they don't know, and prefer being in cliques. If you want to know why Americans behave a certain way look at their ancestors- go to London and any other English town. See how cliqueish the people are and how difficult it is to make friends. There is no eye contact, the people just seem to be absorbed into their own world and their own clique. But Anglos are very friendly inside of the clique and act as normal humans when they are in it. It is just that getting into the clique is the problem.

2) Your worth on the love market in both countries. Who and what are you as far as the context of the
market you are in.

Take (mentally) all the men in the US, line them up and put yourself amongst them. How would you rate in terms of looks, height, money, etc? Probably not high. Put yourself in a line-up with Russian men and see how and where you would rate. Probably quite high.

Mostly because Russians do not on the average have as much money and/or international lifestyle that you can offer. You are making ten times to twenty times more money than they do. If you look at it within the US context, it is as if you were a man making $20,000-$40,000 a month.

3) America is divided along racial lines and five categories of people- Whites, Blacks, Hispanics, Asians and Indians.

Each group has its assigned role and image within the US. In that system Asian men and Asian people in general are not seen as something popular or powerful. Within the context of the US culture, an Asian man is seen based on American stereotypes and you are familiar with them.

Russia is not divided so much by racial lines but more along the lines of ethnic Russians vs. non-Russians and foreigners. Kind of like China or Japan where it is not Blacks vs. Whites, etc, but Chu-Guo-Ren (Middle Country Person) vs. Wai-Gwo-Ren (Out of Country Person) or Ni-Hon-Jin (Japan Person)vs. Gai-Jin (Outside Person) . Foreigners in Asia especially richer ones are seen with curiosity, positive or negative. They are unusual and people are curious about them. They want to help them, invite them to their homes, talk to them. There aren't many of them., so people want to meet them and hear what they have to say. On the other hand, Americans being descendants of foreigners who left bad conditions in their homeland have been conditioned not to look back or be interested in bad countries that their ancestors came from. So, a foreigner evokes a yawn in the US and is seen as a dorky and clumsy person. Someone who has not yet learned to behave and act as a normal, American person.

4) The US is a land of plenty. People (think that they) have seen everything, experienced everything,
done everything and that everything is available.

Especially women see it that way. Russia has not been a land of plenty. People there are not cloyed with benefits of life. Things are hard to find. Good people are also hard to find. So, you are appreciated more within that market. People's lives there can be quite drab so you seem to be like a breath of fresh air to them. There are not that many foreigners there, either. So, when they see you, it means a new experience, something better and more exciting.

5) There are too many available handsome men in the US.

There are oodles and oodles of men with money, cars, houses, careers. Women can have the pick of the day every day. So they are stuck up as they can get any man they want. Even ugly and fat women in the US can get the guy. That is why you see horrid-looking women, ill-dressed women, women without make-up everywhere parading around like they are Miss Universes. Not so in Russia. Too many men were decimated by wars and too many drunk and irresponsible men are around. Finding a good guy is hard. Finding a rich foreigner is even harder. Women need to look their best, be nice, and try hard to find a good man.

Women everywhere want to improve their species. That is human instinct. that is what love and dating is all about. In the US the people believe that the species is already highly improved. So improving your species yet means dating Donald Trump or someone like that. In Russia the male species is quite poor and less numerous than in the US and also less well-behaved. So, on that background you stand out quite well. As you can see, context determines everything in society. In a land of the blind, a one-eyed man is king.

6) The US TV and culture in general glorifies men that look like Steven Seagal, Bruce Willis, Brad Pitt, etc.

Now, how would you rate compared to those paragons of manhood? Russia does not have those paragons. If you listen to songs in Russia it is usually a woman singing about how a man abandoned her for another. If you listen to a love song in the US, you will usually hear a sweet voice of a man courting a woman. Or a man whining about a lost love. The markets are different. Male-female ratios are different.

7) Russian people are used to Asians.

They have been seeing them since the 13th century. They have been dealing with them and even marrying them for a long time. It does not mean that as an Asian you are seen as "popular", it is just that you are part of the landscape. You do not evoke much negativism and it is not much of an issue. In the US, Asians are seen as fresh off-the-boat immigrants. poor and dorky, that is. People are still not used to them. There are many stereotypes of Asian men that work against them socially in the US. In Russia, there are stereotypes but not of the same nature.

A local Siberian Asian in Russia is not the most flattering thing to be, either. They will call him –a deer herder, "Churka"- the Russian word for the non-Russian colonial subjects- the equivalent of the British word "Wog", and treat him as a dorky hick.

This would not concern you as it is not so with a Japanese, Taiwanese or a US Asian. But try dressing
like a Russian and acting like those Siberian Asians. You will feel the difference.

8) The word "foreigner" in Russia ("inostranets") is not a negative word.

It immediately evokes mental associations of- "cultured- successful- richer than me-smarter than me- more exciting than me". So, when people in Russia see you as a foreigner, those associations spring to mind. And the people act accordingly.

In the US people see you and say- "Oh, another Asian man"- and the associations while not exactly hostile, are not flattering, either-" poor immigrant making noodles, maybe a martial arts freak-cannot speak English properly-a clutzy and clumsy Japanese student-short-has small dick-computer nerd." Or- "Pearl Harbor- Korean War- or Jackie Chan"- a clown. Hardly positive or respectful associations.

The word "foreigner" in the US is a negative word. It is used to designate a non-American- someone who is either an enemy of the US or someone who is poor and just came and is not assimilated. That is why even the phrase "foreign student" had to be changed to "international student".

These are the main reasons why you have a better social life in Russia."

***
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Postby chanta76 » Fri Oct 08, 2010 6:18 am

You mentioned the 8 reasons for Asian men to have it better in Russia but you posted another thread asking a question do "Russian women prefer big white guys" http://www.happierabroad.com/forum/viewtopic.php?t=8611

As an Asian man myself I don't know if I would want to visit Russia. I keep hearing the neo-nazi movements is growing there and that Russian girls for the most part prefer white foreign guys.
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Postby Repatriate » Fri Oct 08, 2010 7:44 am

chanta76 wrote:You mentioned the 8 reasons for Asian men to have it better in Russia but you posted another thread asking a question do "Russian women prefer big white guys" http://www.happierabroad.com/forum/viewtopic.php?t=8611

As an Asian man myself I don't know if I would want to visit Russia. I keep hearing the neo-nazi movements is growing there and that Russian girls for the most part prefer white foreign guys.


Winston has strange views of various countries that don't actually totally match reality. This is especially true of the way he gushes on about Russia in idealistic terms and then when you read his trip reports it was just one scam after the next and barely avoiding getting a real ass kicking by various hostile Russian men.
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Postby Winston » Fri Oct 08, 2010 10:44 am

Repatriate wrote:
chanta76 wrote:You mentioned the 8 reasons for Asian men to have it better in Russia but you posted another thread asking a question do "Russian women prefer big white guys" http://www.happierabroad.com/forum/viewtopic.php?t=8611

As an Asian man myself I don't know if I would want to visit Russia. I keep hearing the neo-nazi movements is growing there and that Russian girls for the most part prefer white foreign guys.


Winston has strange views of various countries that don't actually totally match reality. This is especially true of the way he gushes on about Russia in idealistic terms and then when you read his trip reports it was just one scam after the next and barely avoiding getting a real ass kicking by various hostile Russian men.


That's not true. I never said that. You are only seeing what you want to see.

Most girls in Russia did NOT scam me. Many flaked yeah, but only a small percentage were scammers.

I had a lot of fun and felt alive there and could shed my inhibitions. That's what was priceless to me.

Repatriate, I'm tired of your lies, and I don't have time to correct them in every post. One more lie, and I'm banning you for one week. My tolerance level is at an end.
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Postby thekingdom » Fri Oct 08, 2010 12:37 pm

Winston wrote:
Repatriate wrote:
chanta76 wrote:You mentioned the 8 reasons for Asian men to have it better in Russia but you posted another thread asking a question do "Russian women prefer big white guys" http://www.happierabroad.com/forum/viewtopic.php?t=8611

As an Asian man myself I don't know if I would want to visit Russia. I keep hearing the neo-nazi movements is growing there and that Russian girls for the most part prefer white foreign guys.


Winston has strange views of various countries that don't actually totally match reality. This is especially true of the way he gushes on about Russia in idealistic terms and then when you read his trip reports it was just one scam after the next and barely avoiding getting a real ass kicking by various hostile Russian men.


That's not true. I never said that. You are only seeing what you want to see.

Most girls in Russia did NOT scam me. Many flaked yeah, but only a small percentage were scammers.

I had a lot of fun and felt alive there and could shed my inhibitions. That's what was priceless to me.

Repatriate, I'm tired of your lies, and I don't have time to correct them in every post. One more lie, and I'm banning you for one week. My tolerance level is at an end.


Then you would be taking one step towards killing the popularity of your board. Chill out Winston.
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Postby Rock » Fri Oct 08, 2010 2:49 pm

chanta76 wrote:You mentioned the 8 reasons for Asian men to have it better in Russia but you posted another thread asking a question do "Russian women prefer big white guys" viewtopic.php?t=8611

As an Asian man myself I don't know if I would want to visit Russia. I keep hearing the neo-nazi movements is growing there and that Russian girls for the most part prefer white foreign guys.


Thanks for the reality check chanta. I gotta say, some of the points seem questionable or not in line with Winston's personal experience in my view.

Reason 1: OK, people and groups readily made eye contact and were open to superficial socializing.

Reason 2: Seems to contradict his experience. His conclusion: Russian women generally not romantically interested in typical Asian men. Moreover, I don't think Russian men are shorter or less physically attractive than American men on average. They are only poorer, but not that poor compared to a struggling foreigner. I doubt Winston makes 10-20X more than an average Ruskie (is that term PC?).

Reason 3: So if Russia is not divided along racial lines but rather national ones, is it equally dangerous for a white foreigner (who still somehow stands out as a foreigner) as an Asian or black one? I would guess not. After all, many of the Russian skinhead groups are now affiliated with German neo-nazis, who clearly are foreigners (and former enemies) as far as Russians are concerned.

Reason 4: Sounds plausible, especially far outside of first tier cities.

Reason 5: We've discussed these ratio advantages before. China weakens the case. But if many of the man are serious alcoholics or not available for serious relationships, then I agree it might push-up demand for foreigners by local woman who get passed over.

Reason 6: Sounds a bit far-fetched. Are you sure there are no nationally well-known and attractive local male stars in film or music?

Reason 7: Russia is a big place. Perhaps in some areas, intermarriage with Asians is not so uncommon. In the areas Winston visited, this did not seem to be the case though. When I visited Harbin (not too far from Russian border) on an extended stay a few years ago, I noticed a lot of young Russian expat males and females. Guess what I never saw though a Russian female with a Chinese male. So where does this intermarriage happen more frequently, Vladivostok, on the border cities with Mongolia, where?

Final question: if there is such a strong and growing movement against foreigners / non-white races (not sure which is anymore given your Reason 3 above), why do does society still use a neutral word to describe us?
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Postby Winston » Sat Oct 09, 2010 4:10 pm

thekingdom wrote:
Then you would be taking one step towards killing the popularity of your board. Chill out Winston.


Every forum does the same thing. And everyone has a tolerance point. Mine is more generous than most people's. Other forums ban people right away for any reason they want. Very few people have been banned from here. This is one of the most tolerable forums. But everyone has a breaking point.

At least I warn people. Other forum owners/moderators just issue the ban without any warnings.

I am far nicer and more lenient than most people in this regard.
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Postby Winston » Sun Oct 10, 2010 9:00 am

Btw, one Russian girl I asked out named Anna turned out to be a brutally honest racist. She told me this:

She said that I was not ugly or unattractive. I was decent looking. But I "lacked sexuality" in that I do not induce sexual desire in Russian women. Russians call is "lack of sexuality". It's not something you can control. For Russian women, some men do not induce sexual desire, even if they are good looking. So that obviously worked against me.

Anna was also racist and believed that Asian men should go for women in Asia. She admitted that Russian women do not generally find Asian men attractive. But she also said that I personally lacked qualities that would make Russian women sexual with me. It wasn't anything I could help.

However, Anna was very approachable and gave me her number right when I met her, so my claim about that was right. She bummed some expensive dinners off me, but insulted me brutally at the same time, even going so far as using racial slurs.

But like I said, just before I left Russia, I met three girls that seemed to genuinely like me, one of which was Alina, the girl I proposed to and lived with me in an apartment. The other two were Marina (a pretty blonde) and Jenya (a super hot olive complexion girl).

So after many months, I only found what I wanted just as I was leaving. Again, Murphy's Law rules my life, as usual.
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Postby Winston » Sun Oct 10, 2010 9:33 am

Check out these comments about Ladislav's article on a Single Asian Male blog which posted it:

http://www.singleasianmale.com/?p=465

Here is one of them:

Fight Club Says:
October 15th, 2006 at 3:49 pm

Girls from eastern europe can be two harsh extremes, either really nice or really, and I mean really cold to no real fault of their own, I think it’s in their blood. I mean think about it, they practically live in cold and bitter environments for most of the year, and their men are quite stereotypically brutes who are more than likely unemployed drunks and treat their women like cavemen. And they say asian guys are bad. Which explains the disparaging ratio between single men and women in Russia for example, and which explains why so many of its women sell themselves to western men through mail order. It’s a big f***ing industry, bigger than asian mail order brides. They even made a documentary about it. The premise is basically due to economic reasons, but let’s face it Russian women can’t stand their men most of the times. The eastern bloc is one big corrupt shit hole run by gangs. There are exceptions, but for the most part it’s run by thugs. The women lose all sense of their femininity by having to work harder than the men. It’s true, it’s an epidemic that the men have no concept of an honest living and family values that they end up disappearing from the face of the earth leaving the women to fend for themselves. The women are no angels either. They can be premiscuous and calculating opportunists running from one man to another. It’s not all bad, like I said there are really nice girls too and smart. I’ve met girls from Russia, Belarus, Latvia, Czech Republic, Poland, etc.. and many of them are drop dead hot! No wonder the men drive themselves insane having to please them but run amok when faced with dire personal situations. And the vendetta they have towards others who do have what they don’t. It’s pretty crazy. I think there is no other place like it in the world. I don’t know of any asian guys who moved there to hook up but I’m sure it exists. I mean the place is really no different than any other northern european nation, in that it’s mostly homogenous really a predominately white country and the foreigners, especially those who aren’t white, that live there are looked down upon. They’re probably worse when it comes to racism, geex I can only imagine,…..
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Postby globetrotter » Sun Oct 10, 2010 1:41 pm

The eastern 2/3rd's of Russia is in Asia. It makes sense that Asians would have an affinity to date other Asians.
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Postby ladislav » Mon Oct 11, 2010 2:37 am

globetrotter wrote:The eastern 2/3rd's of Russia is in Asia. It makes sense that Asians would have an affinity to date other Asians.


Russia 101.

The Asian part of Russia is called Siberia. It is brutally cold. Few people live there.

Annexed fairly recently, too. Russians expanded into it ( and into Alaska) at the same time as the Great American West was being won. It is technically Asia but as sparsely populated as the Great Canadian North. Just because it is located in Asia, it does not mean that you will see pagodas and geishas walking around as soon as you cross the Urals. It is still 90 percent Slavic - settled in the last 150 years, with indigenous people living out on the fringes or having their autonomous republics. The Asian people there will never be Russian the same way as the Eskimos in Greenland are not Danes.


In America or Australia these people would be called Natives or Aborigenes, but in Russia they are just called by the name of the ethnic group. But they are not Russky and never will be.

They are just political citizens of Russia. Russia is not the US- it tries to keep those people separate on their own territory. They are kind of like American Indians with one main difference- American Indian reservations are small, but those indigenous people have areas as large as any European country. They have their own self government with parliaments and all.

Still Russians are used to seeing Asian faces and have been living side by side with them for centuries.

No indigenous Siberian in a million years would consider Slavic settlers or their kids as "Asians". And a term White North Asian or White Siberian do not exist.
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Postby globetrotter » Mon Oct 11, 2010 5:25 am

Chinese History 101.

China ruled parts of Siberia, Russia, what is now Primorsky Krai and parts of Eastern Kazakhstan during the Jin, Yuan and Ming Dynasites for over 700 years. The Mongol Empire stretched from Vietnam to the Black Sea in 1220-1295. Russia ruled what are now the North Eastern Provinces of China in the late 19th and Early 20th Century. Harbin has Cyrillic lettering everywhere and many there speak Russian. The train station in Harbin was built by the Russian Empire in the 19th Century. I have met bilingual Mandarin-Russian peasants in my area.

Whether the ladies of Irkutsk are blond or whether the Kazakh girls of Almaty look like ladies from Sankt Peterburg, or whether Kazakh girls look like they are from Shanghai or they are of the Mongols of Western China - Russians and other 'Whites' in that part of the world are as Asian as the Chinese.

I met an ethnic Caucasian boy yesterday at the Dico's. Chinese mom, maybe dad 2nd gen Shanghaiese from French-Chinese parents or similar 50 to 100 years ago. The boy is Chinese, he speaks fluent Mandarin, the local dialect, no English and he is Asian.

Eastern Russia is Asia. There's no getting around it. I have had drinks with ethnic Russian girls from Irkutsk. They are Asians and they are white.

"It is still 90 percent Slavic - settled in the last 150 years, with indigenous people living out on the fringes or having their autonomous republics. The Asian people there will never be Russian the same way as the Eskimos in Greenland are not Danes."

Russians don't get to decide whether Eastern Russia is in Asia or not - it clearly is. Ethnic Russians Slavs born in Siberia are Asians. They certainly are not Europeans.
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Postby Repatriate » Mon Oct 11, 2010 5:39 am

globetrotter wrote:He is Chinese, he speaks fluent Mandarin, the local dialect, no English and he is Asian.

Eastern Russia is Asian. There's no getting around it.

Ladislav is talking about cultural heritage and not just geography. Geography only determines where you are it doesn't determine _who_ you are unless you've been there thousands of years and have had to time to adapt/integrate with the neighboring societies. Russian (and slavic) people as a whole are just off brand Europeans. They don't identify with what you think of as asian culture and it doesn't matter where part of Russia is geographically located since Russia gained a large part of that territory through colonialism anyways.

Btw the Mongols controlled the royalty and lords in what is now known as Russia but they never culturally assimilated them. They were controlled as a tributary puppet kingdom. If Mongols _did_ assimilate Russians what you would see today would be very different.
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Postby ladislav » Mon Oct 11, 2010 9:23 am

Whether the ladies of Irkutsk are blond or whether the Kazakh girls of Almaty look like ladies from Sankt Peterburg, or whether Kazakh girls look like they are from Shanghai or they are of the Mongols of Western China - Russians and other 'Whites' in that part of the world are as Asian as the Chinese.


I think this issue is similar to whether Arabs in Morocco or Tunisia are as African as the Congolese. It really depends on who you ask.

I met an ethnic Caucasian boy yesterday at the Dico's. Chinese mom, maybe dad 2nd gen Shanghaiese from French-Chinese parents or similar 50 to 100 years ago. The boy is Chinese, he speaks fluent Mandarin, the local dialect, no English and he is Asian.


He is an Asian to you, maybe. According to US standards. How is he registered with his gov't? As a Han? What is his nationality/identity according to people around him?

Eastern Russia is Asia. There's no getting around it. I have had drinks with ethnic Russian girls from Irkutsk. They are Asians and they are white.


Hmm, not if they move to the USA and try to apply for benefits as Asian Americans. Can you imagine a bunch of Russians from Siberia walking into an Asian American student union here in the US?

Or if they walk down a Tokyo or Bangkok street. The people there will call them Gaijin, Farang and ask them what part of the USA they are from. Seen it happen to so many Russians. Try explaining to a few billion of finger-sticking Asians that you are not.

Russians don't get to decide whether Eastern Russia is in Asia or not - it clearly is. Ethnic Russians Slavs born in Siberia are Asians. They certainly are not European


Neither do we. Determining what you are by birthplace is an American concept mainly. What if they moved to Siberia when they were 2 years old? They are Europeans then? And if the parents had a kid after they moved then you have three Euros and one Asian in one family?

What about if one of in one village in the Urals and a street runs between Europe and Asia? Culturally and ethnically Russians are E. Euro Slavs same as Serbians.

There also does not seem to be a central authority that decides who is Asian and who is not. The UK and US try to do that by assigning certain racial and geographic codes to people but ultimately it is the people of Asia who decide if a person is Asian or not. White people are never ever seen as Asians by Chinese, Koreans, Japanese, or even Indians or Iranians. A Russki is a Russki wherever he goes. Russians are not members of Asian organizations, Asian associations, Asian monetary funds, etc.

One Asian country tries to pose itself as a leader of the Asian race/culture/civilization- Thailand, because they are so proud of never have been colonized. I hung out with some Russians in Thailand and one was from the Vladivostok area and he would tell me how the Thais would treat him." Farang! Farang!" every day. That he was poor did not help either. "Farang hiu"- hungry honkey was an insult they used for him. Totally as an outsider.

White people anywhere are seen as Europeans or Americans by a man on the street. You may disagree, but you will have hard time convincing an average Joe Asian of that.

In Tuva, 3000 Russians had to flee and many more had to flee Dushanbe. Many had been attacked on the streets and some people got killed. Their homes got burned to the ground.

I met quite a few Russians that had to flee Asian republics even if some are still autonomous entities in the Russian Federation. They were all born there. But the birth in a place is meaningless in those places. An American likes to ask- where are you from originally? and, where were you born? That is how most Anglos determine nationality. But not there.

When people like these:

http://www.towson.edu/asianarts/Tuva.jpg

Are pi##ed off at people like these:

http://www.russian-victories.ru/rus_faces_wsw.jpg

riots may erupt and people get killed.
Ladislav is talking about cultural heritage and not just geography.


Cultural? Try ethno-racial. There people use blood quantums to determine who is who. What your cultural/linguistic heritage rarely matters. You can only start being consider one or another group when the blood/genetic quantum reaches 75%. That is how it is done in a lot of countries.

Geography only determines where you are it doesn't determine _who_ you are unless you've been there thousands of years and have had to time to adapt/integrate with the neighboring societies.


Integration and adaption must involve blood mixing and intermarriage for at least three generations. Otherwise it is meaningless.
Russian (and slavic) people as a whole are just off brand Europeans. They don't identify with what you think of as asian culture and it doesn't matter where part of Russia is geographically located since Russia gained a large part of that territory through colonialism anyways.


Even if they identified themselves with " culture", if they are not at least 75% mixed with those people racially, it is meaningless.

Btw the Mongols controlled the royalty and lords in what is now known as Russia but they never culturally assimilated them. They were controlled as a tributary puppet kingdom. If Mongols _did_ assimilate Russians what you would see today would be very different.


Some people think that if some Russians have somewhat slanty eyes, it is because of Mongolian rapes, but mainly it is because of the Finno Ugric heritage of some ethnic groups there that later became Slavicized.
Last edited by ladislav on Wed Oct 13, 2010 10:56 am, edited 9 times in total.
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