Rural Mexico FAQ
Posted: April 5th, 2012, 3:47 pm
Lately, I have been getting a lot of questions about Mexico, so I will address some more common concerns here, especially for rural Mexico.
Why would you recommend rural Mexico?
- Warmth and hospitality: Rural Mexico has extraordinarily hospitable and genuine people.
- Numbers / plenty of fish: With over 100 million people, Mexico is the largest Spanish-speaking country in the world. Much of this population is in the thousands of small towns and villages scattered throughout the countryside.
- Gender ratio: Females almost always outnumber males in rural Mexico. Rural Mexican villages are usually predominantly female, since women are expected to take care of the house while men are expected to migrate and work away from home.
For those who speak good Spanish and can easily adapt to new cultures, I would definitely recommend trying out rural Mexico. You will find that the local men are boisterous and super easy to make friends with. Human interaction in general is extremely free-flowing and natural.
Why do so many more American men turn to Asia instead of Latin America?
It's because Asians generally expect foreigners to stay as foreigners, whereas Latinos expect foreigners to assimilate. Assimilating into a culture and picking up it up takes guts, brains, and skills.
As forum member ladislav has said in viewtopic.php?p=70163 :
What is the difference between urban and rural Mexico? Which is better for me?
In rural Mexico, you will feel a stronger pressure to assimilate and become "one of them." The more you look, act, and talk like them, the more likely you will be able to score a date. So if you have a tan Southeast Asian look or a brunette Mediterranean look, you'd be able to blend in faster. The younger you are, the better, since rural Mexicans can get married quite early, such as in their early 20's. However, many migrants returning from the U.S. who are in their 30's are almost always able to find mates, get married, settle down, and have children without any major problems.
People in urban Mexico are more accepting of people who are different from them, and will be more likely to speak English. Forum member AmericanInMexico dates white Mexican women in urban Mexico.
Neither one is better than the other. Personally, I prefer rural Mexico, while other forum members here prefer urban Mexico.
How much Spanish do I need to know?
Know as much as possible. It is important to speak with as good a Mexican accent as you possibly can, since you'll need to try to become "one of them." Know mexicanismos too, since they will mark you as being fluent not simply in Spanish, but Mexican Spanish. Some mexicanismos include "chido" (cool), "rola" (song), and "guey" (dude/guy; literally 'donkey').
How can I get to know a village?
The more intrepid travelers can simply walk into a random village, start chatting up people, and then getting to know the village from then on. However, most people would find it better to get to know a family in the U.S. or a large Mexican city first, and then visiting their families in their home villages. Since they live so far from each other, they would be delighted if you make an offer to visit their hometowns. You should offer to bring and take photos to their families, and those families will usually invite you to stay at their houses. Be sure to bring toilet paper, medications, flashlights, and other equipment, since many rural homes don't have running water or adequate lighting at nighttime.
How do I get the guts to approach women in rural Mexico?
Make male friends first and absorb the local machismo! Guys in Mexico are not usually afraid to approach women because they have each others' backs. Male friends in Mexico will usually also support you, and say encouraging things such as:
- "Saque la muchacha a bailar!" (Take the girl out to dance!)
- "Mira - que bonita!" (Look [at that girl] - isn't she pretty!)
- "Lleva la muchacha pa'l otro lado!" (Take her to the other side [of the border]!)
Approaching and asking out women won't be intimidating anymore, because you know your male friends will be rooting for you. In fact, if you DON'T ask out a woman, you might be seen as gay or with serious issues (They will say, "Pues no eres hombre" - Then you're not a man), so then you'll be driven to actually approach the women, with much less fear! If the girl rejects you, your male friend will tell you it's all right, and to just try another one.
This is unlike the U.S. where your guy friends are most likely going to complain about how they can't get any women.
What are some good venues for getting to know women in rural Mexico?
Bailes! Dances, concerts, fiestas, and carnavals are excellent for getting to know the local women. The dances play almost exclusively norteño, banda, duranguense, and cumbia. Reggaeton, merengue, and pop are occasionally played as well. Many guys wear cowboy hats and boots in the dances, and both men and women wear jeans.
A typical dance in rural Mexico would look like this:
It really is quite simple. Watch what the couples do in the video above, and repeat. Mexican ladies will be impressed if you can do that simple dance.
At first, everyone will be standing and milling around, even though the music will be playing. There will be many single women at the dances, and they can be easily identified, since they'll be standing around in little groups, waiting for someone to ask them out to dance. One way to ask them out would be to give them a quick look and smile, and then say, "Vámonos a bailar?" Rejections are simple, with the girls usually ignoring you and looking towards the side. However, just move on and have fun getting to know some more ladies. They will often introduce you to their friends, cousins, and so on. When you see several women telling each other, "Baila con el!" - "No tu!" (Dance with him - No, you!), that's a good sign. As they're pushing each other around to see which one wants to dance with you, one of them will eventually walk up to you. Take her hand and lead her to the dance floor. Then start dancing!
Make sure you're not dancing with another guy's date or girlfriend though. This is how a lot of fights start in the bailes.
Just have fun at first - Don't be upset if you don't end up with a phone number or girlfriend after the dance. Simply dancing with a Mexican lady will boost your confidence and give you a sense of accomplishment.
How about online dating?
That could work too, but I wouldn't recommend it. Many rural Mexicans do not own computers or know how to use them. Also, they say that "good girls don't use the Internet."
Getting laid in rural Mexico?
Unless you are engaged to a woman, don't even go near it, since you will severely embarrass and dishonor the woman's family if they find out. If you are just trying to get laid, red-light districts in large cities should do. However, I will not cover such topics here.
Why would you recommend rural Mexico?
- Warmth and hospitality: Rural Mexico has extraordinarily hospitable and genuine people.
- Numbers / plenty of fish: With over 100 million people, Mexico is the largest Spanish-speaking country in the world. Much of this population is in the thousands of small towns and villages scattered throughout the countryside.
- Gender ratio: Females almost always outnumber males in rural Mexico. Rural Mexican villages are usually predominantly female, since women are expected to take care of the house while men are expected to migrate and work away from home.
For those who speak good Spanish and can easily adapt to new cultures, I would definitely recommend trying out rural Mexico. You will find that the local men are boisterous and super easy to make friends with. Human interaction in general is extremely free-flowing and natural.
Why do so many more American men turn to Asia instead of Latin America?
It's because Asians generally expect foreigners to stay as foreigners, whereas Latinos expect foreigners to assimilate. Assimilating into a culture and picking up it up takes guts, brains, and skills.
As forum member ladislav has said in viewtopic.php?p=70163 :
Adding to that, there's the "Asian fetish" phenomenon, whereas the phrase "Latina fetish" is virtually unheard of.The difference between Hispanic endogamy and Asian endogamy is that if you are in a Hispanic country and you do your best to integrate, you will integrate and assimilate and be treated as just another human being and be accepted on fair and local terms.
In many Oriental Asian countries (the Philippines is not included as it is kind of a Malay Polynesian country rather than Oriental) you are attractive if you 'do not integrate' and often annoy them if you do.
What is the difference between urban and rural Mexico? Which is better for me?
In rural Mexico, you will feel a stronger pressure to assimilate and become "one of them." The more you look, act, and talk like them, the more likely you will be able to score a date. So if you have a tan Southeast Asian look or a brunette Mediterranean look, you'd be able to blend in faster. The younger you are, the better, since rural Mexicans can get married quite early, such as in their early 20's. However, many migrants returning from the U.S. who are in their 30's are almost always able to find mates, get married, settle down, and have children without any major problems.
People in urban Mexico are more accepting of people who are different from them, and will be more likely to speak English. Forum member AmericanInMexico dates white Mexican women in urban Mexico.
Neither one is better than the other. Personally, I prefer rural Mexico, while other forum members here prefer urban Mexico.
How much Spanish do I need to know?
Know as much as possible. It is important to speak with as good a Mexican accent as you possibly can, since you'll need to try to become "one of them." Know mexicanismos too, since they will mark you as being fluent not simply in Spanish, but Mexican Spanish. Some mexicanismos include "chido" (cool), "rola" (song), and "guey" (dude/guy; literally 'donkey').
How can I get to know a village?
The more intrepid travelers can simply walk into a random village, start chatting up people, and then getting to know the village from then on. However, most people would find it better to get to know a family in the U.S. or a large Mexican city first, and then visiting their families in their home villages. Since they live so far from each other, they would be delighted if you make an offer to visit their hometowns. You should offer to bring and take photos to their families, and those families will usually invite you to stay at their houses. Be sure to bring toilet paper, medications, flashlights, and other equipment, since many rural homes don't have running water or adequate lighting at nighttime.
How do I get the guts to approach women in rural Mexico?
Make male friends first and absorb the local machismo! Guys in Mexico are not usually afraid to approach women because they have each others' backs. Male friends in Mexico will usually also support you, and say encouraging things such as:
- "Saque la muchacha a bailar!" (Take the girl out to dance!)
- "Mira - que bonita!" (Look [at that girl] - isn't she pretty!)
- "Lleva la muchacha pa'l otro lado!" (Take her to the other side [of the border]!)
Approaching and asking out women won't be intimidating anymore, because you know your male friends will be rooting for you. In fact, if you DON'T ask out a woman, you might be seen as gay or with serious issues (They will say, "Pues no eres hombre" - Then you're not a man), so then you'll be driven to actually approach the women, with much less fear! If the girl rejects you, your male friend will tell you it's all right, and to just try another one.
This is unlike the U.S. where your guy friends are most likely going to complain about how they can't get any women.
What are some good venues for getting to know women in rural Mexico?
Bailes! Dances, concerts, fiestas, and carnavals are excellent for getting to know the local women. The dances play almost exclusively norteño, banda, duranguense, and cumbia. Reggaeton, merengue, and pop are occasionally played as well. Many guys wear cowboy hats and boots in the dances, and both men and women wear jeans.
A typical dance in rural Mexico would look like this:
It really is quite simple. Watch what the couples do in the video above, and repeat. Mexican ladies will be impressed if you can do that simple dance.
At first, everyone will be standing and milling around, even though the music will be playing. There will be many single women at the dances, and they can be easily identified, since they'll be standing around in little groups, waiting for someone to ask them out to dance. One way to ask them out would be to give them a quick look and smile, and then say, "Vámonos a bailar?" Rejections are simple, with the girls usually ignoring you and looking towards the side. However, just move on and have fun getting to know some more ladies. They will often introduce you to their friends, cousins, and so on. When you see several women telling each other, "Baila con el!" - "No tu!" (Dance with him - No, you!), that's a good sign. As they're pushing each other around to see which one wants to dance with you, one of them will eventually walk up to you. Take her hand and lead her to the dance floor. Then start dancing!
Make sure you're not dancing with another guy's date or girlfriend though. This is how a lot of fights start in the bailes.
Just have fun at first - Don't be upset if you don't end up with a phone number or girlfriend after the dance. Simply dancing with a Mexican lady will boost your confidence and give you a sense of accomplishment.
How about online dating?
That could work too, but I wouldn't recommend it. Many rural Mexicans do not own computers or know how to use them. Also, they say that "good girls don't use the Internet."
Getting laid in rural Mexico?
Unless you are engaged to a woman, don't even go near it, since you will severely embarrass and dishonor the woman's family if they find out. If you are just trying to get laid, red-light districts in large cities should do. However, I will not cover such topics here.