That is exactly what is happening in Medellin. Plus most Colombians in Medellin aren't exactly piss-poor (as they would be in the Philippines, or in some parts of Thailand) so, as a gringo, you really need to stand out to impress them.MattHanson1990 wrote: ↑September 4th, 2017, 6:26 pmI've talked with a European guy on the HA Facebook group about the dating scene in Colombia (we initially met through another international dating group called ''Dating in Medellin''). He lived in both Mexico and Colombia for several years before returning to Europe. And from what he told me, Colombianas who aren't single moms are indeed just as difficult as AW. This is especially the case in Medellin, as it's already too played out. A foreigner, especially a gringo, has to really work hard these days to stay ahead of the competition (e.g. dressing well, learning Spanish, etc.) But even then, he can have other things going against him (e.g. knowing how to dance), and thus Colombia isn't for everyone.
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Discuss culture, living, traveling, relocating, dating or anything related to Latin America, Mexico, or Central America.
If I were single and looking to date Colombianas, I'd probably skip Medellin and go to cities that haven't yet been played out. In particular I would be looking into dating Colombian women in smaller towns that not many people know about (i.e. "off the beaten path") since I am into more traditional women. Plus, I would not get the word out on the internet unlike most gringos because I would not like to see hidden gems getting ruined.
Yup! You get it MattHanson!!! That's the type of thinking I'm talking about. Do the opposite! Don't go after Ms. Super Sexy. The chicks that just exude sex when you look at them. I'm with you about traditional women. With those kind of women you can have a real relationship and build a family.
That's the same strategy most foreigners employ when looking for brides in emerging countries: get off the beaten path and look for communities where a white foreigner can be a little more of a novelty and girls are a little less stained by globalisation. I can assure you it works in the Philippines and, as far as I have read/heard, it is the only way to perhaps get a half-decent girl in Thailand.
The only drawback I see with young women in smaller towns is...you don't exactly get the cream of the crop. Once when I was in Colombia I visited some of my ex-wife's extended family in a suburb of Manizales, itself not quite the impressive town. Yes I saw a couple of young cuties on the street, but nowhere near the head-turning level of Medellin. The few women, indeed the few people, I interacted with - with my limited Spanish - really sounded like good people but intellectually at a completely different level from the college students and career women of Medellin, or Bogota for that matter.
I found exactly the same pattern in the Philippines. If a girl from the poor, deep province has any potential, ambition or expectation, she will have moved to a larger city - Davao, or maybe Manila, or even abroad - to study or work. The girls who are left in the smaller town are those who can't or won't ask more from life, than continuing to live placidly with their families, old and new.
So, I guess, the best girls to date would be those who just moved to the big city, one or two years max, and have the ability to impress the gringo beyond a pretty face while maintaining their graceful and demure ways.
Yep I don't understand when American men say oh look for Latinas overseas they are just as rowdy and obnoxious as American women. Asian seem so much damn better more feminine and calm and I feel like I can be my self.
I wouldn't say all Latinas are as rowdy and obnoxious as American women, but certainly there are many urban communities in the region where women are brought up by the same values and tenets of first-world societies. Yes Colombia is full of villages where even running water at home is a luxury yet, you can rest assured, in large cities most of the ladies will have watched American cartoons and movies, will be dreaming the same material things as their US counterparts and will - probably - be as unimpressed about the (alleged) benefits of a foreign boyfriend, especially if he does not look any better or is any richer or any more charismatic than the local boys.
The countries with a solid middle class that panders to the American Dream are definitely Mexico, Colombia, and Panama. Argentina has probably the most beautiful, non-Latina-looking women but is also home to the region's most proud and demanding people. Argentinians consider themselves LatAm royalty and, for what it's worth, they managed to convince quite a few of their neighbours!
So what's left? Ecuador is a smaller version of Colombia with a more indigenous mix. Bolivia and Peru has a much higher mix of native Indio genes and the girls, with all due respects, do not have physical traits that appeal to the majority of us: they're dark-skinned, short and stocky.
Venezuela is probably the best kept secret right now, if anything because the rampant political-economical crisis is making boys and girls alike very eager to desire a better life, possibly out of the country. And lady-wise, it's exactly the same stock as the Colombians.
I've noticed that parts of Mexico are indeed trying to copy the U.S. way of life, and it is most pronounced in a lot of the northern cities like Monterrey and Ciudad Juarez as well as upper class parts of major cities (e.g. Lomas de Chapultepec and Santa Fe in Mexico City). However, there are many American restaurant chains besides McDonald's, Burger King, and Pizza Hut present in Mexico. There's also IHOP, Chili's, Applebee's, Carl's Jr, Church's Chicken, Little Caesar's Pizza, Chuck-E-Cheese's. In Northern Mexico you also find Wendy's and Denny's. And in the wealthiest areas of Mexico City and Guadalajara, Red Lobster is present. Also, in many upscale venues, you'll hear American and Canadian pop music being played; it's not uncommon to hear Justin Bieber, Rihanna, Carly Rae Jepsen (although "Call Me Maybe" is hardly ever played anymore), Beyonce, Taylor Swift, etc. Sometimes you'll hear American music from the 90s or earlier. I remember one restaurant in Guanajuato playing Christina Aguilera's "Genie In A Bottle", which was from 1999.
Last edited by MattHanson1990 on February 8th, 2018, 2:31 am, edited 1 time in total.
Man, some of you guys just amaze me with this type of thinking. It seems you want it all, "graceful and demure" but at the same time "ambitious" and "intellectual". Perhaps after you find her you can then get a pet, maybe a cat that is loyal and doesn't kill birds, or a dog that is independent and doesn't bark. Good luck! I just don't get it. Why would you want someone with "ambition or expectation" and not someone who "won't ask more from life, continuing to live with their families"? Sounds like your definition of "cream of the crop" is significantly different than mine. The title of the post here is about "wife material" but what you are describing, might as well get yourself a western woman, that's what you seem to prefer. Don't you see that these type of things are where a lot of problems with western women come from? THINK!
Everybody has a plan til they get punched in the mouth
Yup! I love latinas; the warm personalities, affectionate, naturally beautiful, the bodies. But for a long term relationship I've been leaning more towards Asians. I've said the same thing they're more feminine and calm. They have a way about them that makes me want to protect them. They're very modest which is so attractive. They don't feel the need to display their assets to the world...most of them. They know their true beauty is inside.
I never made a secret of my preferences, honestly.
When it comes to flings and fun I have very low expectations: I can enjoy a pretty smile, a generous handful of breasts, a slender body and a chocolate-coloured round butt (Mindanao and its natives are a goldmine for the last!). I won't care if she cannot speak proper English, she doesn't have an opinion about politics or local infrastructure (or lack thereof) or doesn't dream of working in Hong Kong.
When it comes to a long-term relationship, I guess not just I but most people (OK, maybe not you) prefer to have somebody they can relate to, somebody who can entertain a conversation beyond the mundane of everyday life. Yes of course taking care of kids and running a household is no mundane task, yet knowing all that is not a prerogative of an uneducated, submissive, pet-like young woman. Intelligent girls can do that too, and a bunch of other things. They can actually have opinions on the same things you like or hate and be happy to debate them with you, they will try to nurture dreams beyond that of hiding behind their man and, often, pursue their intellectual laziness masked by meek, silent devotion.
As I know by experience by the many foreign acquaintances and friends who did marry (or so they thought) specimen of such young ladies: people change or reveal they true colours at some point. I know of women who got manipulated by their families to suck their men dry (and yes, the wallet side of their crotches!). I know of women who started cheating on their men, Thai style, as soon as they were secure enough in their all-providing family environments.
Remember that, at least in the Philippines, rural environments just don't breed people who think about their actions, and their consequences. Life in the Philippine province is often a continuous struggle for basic survival, so it's not surprising that these girls' lives are centred around basic instincts and short-term goals: eating rice and chicken three times a day, getting a small sum of money that gets invariably spent at the mall within a week, dealing with their social media profiles - their only window to the world - and helping all the wrong kinds of people (I know of girls who stole money from their bf's pockets to fuel their Filipino lovers' drug addiction).
You want simple girls? Prepare yourself to accept simpletons, who may profess their unconditional love and give you very decent sex at the flick of an eyelid. Before you know it, those same girls might do something exceedingly stupid and not even realise what they have done. They will apologise and cry, profusely, only to forget the teachings of pain and do it again. This is their mental shape. This is the nature of the beast.
Girls who find this environment limiting and oppressive will naturally leave and migrate to the larger city, if anything to find a job that can give them a modicum of financial independence, despite having much of their (extended) families perennially glued to the hip for handouts. Those are girls from the province, not of the province, and I have nothing wrong about them in principle.
Still, unless a few notable exceptions, I would rather spend the rest of my life with a girl who has been steeped in a more urban environment, who had a solid education, cultivated hobbies beyond singing at the beach karaoke and following ABS-CBN gossip and have dreams that belong to a woman, a professional, as well as a wife and mother. Rest assured, after all: 99.9999% of Filipinas have a wonderful sense of femininity and motherliness built-in, so you can take it pretty much for granted. So then, why not ask for more?
So, to cut the story short, it's not me who is looking for unlikely pets. It's some of you guys who are looking for veritable human pets.
As I said above, any Filipina will want to live a happy life close to their families. Unless the girl comes from a family environment devastated beyond repair (and there are quite a few like them) and that background will have deeply affected her personality and relational behaviour, they will be naturally low-maintenance, humble and graceful, at least compared to most first-world tank girls.
That level of intellectual liveliness, that inquisitive mind who can appreciate a foreigner as the bearer of different cultural traits, not just a thicker wallet and a golden heart, that ambition to respect the cash spent for her education by wanting to have a job, earn her own money and gets her own promotions... What's wrong with that and asking for that, if an entire life is at stake?
Even the best sex gets boring after a while. And in fact that's the case if there is nothing else to do or talk about. That's when I see the foreigner strung along by their increasingly domineering wifeys, moved from family fiesta to family fiesta like a giant money-leaking accessory, underwhelmed by the minimalism - if not mediocrity - of a remarkably uneventful life. That's when I see the same men, mostly mature men, end up spending all the time they don't eat, sleep or have sex, playing cards, drinking beers and swapping stories with their fellow foreign hubbies.
If that is the kind of LTR or wife material you are looking for, take a bus to the province from any major city and take your pick. You will not be disappointed.
Well, that's true for many Asians but not all. The face of Asia has been changing for the past 2 decades, at breakneck speed as we know. I bet most girls found in tier 1 and 2 cities of mainland China wouldn't give a rat's a*s about displaying grace, modesty and submissiveness. It's all about who has the most money and the most success, the best looks and can be shown off to friends and families.
Of course if one ventures in rural parts of Asia those demure girls with more inner beauty than outer beauty may still be found. But then, apart from maybe the Philippines, there might be huge language and cultural barriers to overcome. As I have said on another thread, I think a feminine and calm girl who has no inner life might equate to relational bliss for some time. Yet, for the most of us, boredom will eventually set in.
With respect, a good person is not measured by whether or not they have an education. The problem is not that the person lacks worldly intelligence. It is that they have forsaken God and His commandments. So of course, they will do anything, because they do not have any regard for God and His commandments.
The activity which you describe indicates this. If they were laying in wait until the man was on the hook, waiting to deceive, waiting until there was security before they committed evil, on a long term plan, this is not something that someone who keeps God's commandments would do, because a person who truly keeps the commandments understands, that God has a sword for evil doers and rewards for those who do good.
The problem is most people think of God in the abstract or not at all, and they do not consider, that He is measuring every action and repaying every action many times over.
I would not be surprised if a man who has been disregarding God's commandments also ends up with a woman who breaks the commandments. Keep the commandments and God will look out for you. Disregard them and evil will be repaid. It really is quite simple.
A good man is above pettiness. He is better than that.
Similarly, a girl's religious or moral backbone has nothing to do with her level of education. I have found most "pious" Filipinos are just the biggest hypocrites under the sun. So at least as far as the Philippines are concerned, I wouldn't use adherence to God and His commandments as a gauge to measure how good they are.
Again, respect to your religious arguments but reality is much more complicated than that.
A person who is a hypocrite, by definition, is not keeping the law. They merely give lip service to keeping the commandments.
Does that mean the person is perfect? Surely not. It does mean, however, that they are keeping themselves from destroying and hurting other people. Or at least they should be.
Besides that, most unbelievers have no idea of what the scope of the law is. Therefore they have no clue or measure to judge by. In other words, unbelievers can be easily fooled by someone who is a false Christian. Because to an unbeliever, anyone with the tiniest bit of Christianity is a major Christian to them.
A good man is above pettiness. He is better than that.