Join John Adams, world renowned Intl Matchmaker, Monday nights 8:30 EST for Live Webcasts!
And check out Five Reasons why you should attend a FREE AFA Seminar! See locations and dates here.
View Active Topics View Your Posts Latest 100 Topics FAQ Topics Mobile Friendly Theme
Discuss culture, living, traveling, relocating, dating or anything related to Latin America, Mexico, or Central America.
Yep, I agree. If you are 45 and want teens and 20 year old women you might as well just see them when you travel or move to Latin America. If you are going to bring a lady back make sure she has values, class, and some life experience. I think that goes for men of all ages (even younger ones). That hot 18 year old chica grinding on you at the club? Have your fun with her but don't bring her back.
I have been through this, as have several others on HA. Outwest for sure and he's already chimed in.
I started out dating a younger woman in the US some years ago and deep inside felt guilty. I had drunk the Koolaid that our culture teaches us; that there is something fundamentally wrong with an age gap, and worse yet, the girl must be bad because why else would she be interested in an older guy like me. That's what I hear from your comments; you don't believe, you feel a little guilty, so you have to question the girl. Now she might be bad - who knows - but don't assume it automatically.
Eventually my girl and I broke up, remained great friends and I began to explore relationships with women from other cultures.
If you go in this direction you are going to get some flak: women your age in the US sure as hell will be against it. But even guys your age will be jealous and want to knock you down. And young guys (particularly those not very successful with women) will make excuses, cause they don't want to admit that you, old OLD guy of 45, are doing better than they are.
F** them all! You are a mature adult - do whatever the hell you want. Go meet the girl - or many. See if she's gf material or even wife material. You are old enough to maturely decide what she is; take your time and meet her. Maybe the first one isn't the one - maybe it's the 10th one - who knows. But they are out there.
Now that I have stopped drinking the Koolaid, I have opened my eyes to dozens of couples in the US and abroad with large age gaps. People don't see it sometimes because they don't want to see it but they are out there in far bigger numbers than you realize. A good friend is 70 with a 31 year old wife - they've been married 10 years, have an 8 year old, and he's happy as a clam - and looks 10 years younger than his age!
So once again, F** them all do what you want. BTW, that 1st younger gf I had? She was at my wedding a few months back with her new husband.
Telling you now as a half Dominican myself with plenty of family in DR. The girl just wants your money, straight up, Dominicanas mostly just want access to that green card. Once they get to the U.S. they will have a young guy on the side until naturalization. Dumping the old guy (unless you're rich and handsome) and upgrading to some young Latino (often another young guapo Dominicano) is most always the case.
Seen this so many times already, just saying, maybe look at living in DR if possible. Once you bring em back to the states you are screwed.
Most girls from DR i would say prefer someone within 10 years... 15 years a stretch.. Anything more is money related.
By the way, I've been asking my 19 y/o cousin on facebook, from Santiago, currently living in Santo Domingo now, some of the questions you've asked. Will try to gather more info and try to upload pics of her model friends .. Oh she goes to some modeling school in Santo Domingo.
If you want to let other people put limitations on you, they'll be more than happy to do it. Especially older women. Why do you keep asking them to do it? You've been given this pep talk several times. The only person who can tell you whether or not you're too old for a particular woman is the woman herself. And in the event that happens, you probably brought it on yourself with puling, whiny self doubt. Women want someone who's going to tell them what's going to go down, not some obsequious supplicant presenting his quantifiable credentials, such as age, for their approval.
Davewe has the right frame: F*k it. If some woman doesn't want you, for one reason or another, it's no big deal, and you're none the worse off. Move on to the next one who genuinely interests you.
Edit: OK, I see this is an old thread, so maybe you aren't continually posing the question. But you can see in the latest incarnation of the thread the problems with asking other people to set limitations for you. Davewe gives you a good frame and you're pumped up. Then the Phillipines broad weighs in with cynicism, and you're deflated, plagued with self-doubt again. Don't give people the opportunity to do that to you. Take Davewe's frame and run with it, if you think it's useful.
I just pulled two of your sentences out of your post to showcase how what you said is good food for thought yet didn't make total sense. We all face limitations. While I disagree with it for most people may feel so limited in options that they move overseas. Now with my education and career I chose to bring a woman back to the states, but the point being we all face limitations. The question is identifying the real limitations. You make the point that some below average AW will be happy to do it. I agree. As a 30 year old man let me talk about myself. I have to find that balance between the AW my age that is what I now understand is average (despite how much local attention she gets) and some gold digging model overseas.
Age gaps matter. All sorts of things matter. A middle aged man can't go back and be 25 again. Well he can, but he better just enjoy the ride by moving overseas and not getting married.
So if the question is what can you bed or date that is one thing. If the question is about marriage and/or female relocation then we have to look at it differently.
Mind if I have a hook up with your cousin
What limitations do you have? The majority of them are correctable.
If you're considering a AW, as was argued recently, at 30 time is on your side. Its women who have to worry about finding a man after 30 before they can't have children.
The laundry list gets shorter and shorter the older they get. You're cut-off should be 34, that is when women reach equilibrium with the eggs they have available.
As several have argued, the chances of woman have a problem free pregnancy after age 38 is very slim. She would have to be in top shape and even then its not assured you'll be visiting a fertility clinic when most HMO plans DO NOT COVER = $$$$
Men should not be in their 40's with a pop belly asking for a hot 19 year old. Chances are unless you have an amazing personality you have a better chance at winning Power Ball.
I am in contact with a White man who is about to marry an attractive 30 year old Brazilian women who he met at a IBM Conference. He was previously married to a American single woman (White) who didn't like the fact he had to travel for his job. She eventually gave him an ultimatum and when he said no, she filed for divorce. So of course he's on the hook for child support but his youngest daughter I think is 13, so it won't be much longer.
Anyway he was able to find a woman 30, educated with no children and doesn't want have children from Brazil, he's 43 = 13 years
Like I said time is on your side, there is plenty of time to be VERY selective. To help I would suggest moving to a country where P4P is socially acceptable.
At 43 myself, I just have a sense of urgency that many don't have.
Good advice in general, not just regarding love.
In my experience it can be done in Medellin because of rampant daddy issues because they didn't grow up with one in the house.
Just have to be careful its not a sugar daddy setup if that isn't your thing.
This is much easier if she has a kid and there are plenty of amazing women in medellin who have kids. I won't date them but if you want the ready made family then you can find some good bargins on the market.
Just remember they all have babies or boyfriends. As long as you don't have to seem them then who the f**k cares.