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Dumping a Girlfriend the same week I met her in Peru?

Discuss culture, living, traveling, relocating, dating or anything related to Latin America, Mexico, or Central America.

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Postby Forerunner » Mon Feb 03, 2014 10:16 am

rudder wrote:
Forerunner wrote:

Hey Rudder, I have a couple of questions if you don't mind I would like to ask you how do you support your stay in Peru, How are you living arrangements there?


Right now I'm just travelling around the country spending a couple nights in each place, burning through my savings. I'm getting pretty sick of it, and am looking forward to settling down somewhere to resume my online work, and also hopefully set up some sort of distribution business for portable solar products down here. I brought samples of products with me, but I have zero idea where to even begin.

I wouldn't recommend Peru as an expat destination. I'm not sure if I'll last down here. Travelling around the country is just like hopping from one shithole to another, and the people aren't as cool as I was hoping. I'll probably just end up back in the capital, because it is a strategic location even though it is the "most expensive city" in the country.


Well thanks for letting me know I will either be traveling there within near's time rite now though I am just brainstorming ideas on ways to make more income. I am thinking though I need to save a little money because this will be my first time leaving the country ever. To me about 10,000 USD for a couple months is good enough What do you think ? I want to stay in small town's no capitals or tourists areas to keep costs down. Also by what means do you get your funds through an ATM? How is the crime down there ?
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Postby rudder » Sun Feb 23, 2014 4:57 am

Well I moved into a new place and hit it off extremely great with one of the girls here. We were rubbing groins and everything. Fast forward one week later and I'm extremely depressed having just broken up with this same girl. My depression level is among the lowest levels I have encountered in my life. This time it's really going to cost me to move on, especially because I see her at every meal since the landlady cooks for us. I give my heart to these girls and they just stomp all over it, and they don't give a crap about my well being. Even though she acts all conservative and denies that she has any romantic interest with her guy friends, she goes out with them, but she gets all mad at me for being sensitive me and feeling jealous that she spends so much time with them, but hardly any time with me. Well, I dumped her because she started talking shit about me indirectly when she brought up the topic in front of everyone at lunch yesterday about how she could never marry a gringo because we're all too lazy.+++ She then went on to say that Peruvian women are too much woman for gringos because gringos are weak.

Just a few days prior to this, she was in my bed making out and telling me she wants to go to live with me in my hometown and she wants me to give her a baby. When breaking up with her I mentioned this and told her how stupid I was for believing her. She doesn't even see the need to give me an apology for her rotten, two-faced behavior.

I also found out she lied to me about at least three things:
1) Her full name. I had already seen her full name when I looked on her computer's youtube and facebook account. She wrote me this total BS name and I called her out on it, but she still insisted that her BS name was her name.
2) She told me (probably to make me feel jealous) that she was going out with some guy "friend" friday night to the disco. Well I asked her friday night and she said that she was just "joking" when she told me that.
3) She told me on various occasions that the widowed landlady was interested in me romantically. She insisted that our relationship had to be a secret otherwise the landlady would feel jealous. I finally told the landlady this last night, and she completely denied having any romantic interest in me. The landlady's friend was also there, and we all came to the conclusion that this girl is a sociopathic liar.

Now I'm thinking vengeance. I'd like to type up a letter similar to what I have just written here in Spanish and tape it to the girl's door and also to the dining room table as well as other strategic locations around the house. This girl really squashed my heart big time. Or maybe I will just bluntly ask her in front of everyone while she is in the middle of a mouthful of food at lunch: "Why did you lie and say that the landlady wanted to be with me romantically?" "Did you do that so that the landlady wouldn't find out that you're with multiple men?"

I don't know. I have many many opportunities to see this girl again, and thus plenty of opportunities to teach her a lesson about f***ing with a sensitive man's heart. I'm open to hearing some suggestions for what to do. My rent period doesn't end until March 9th. I'm going to wait another day and then ask her if she'd like to come clean, and if she still doesn't want to at that point then I say unleash the vengeance. I might as well burn some bridges.

In any case, I think my happier abroad dreams are over. I have had enough shitty experiences with women here in one month and one week to completely zap any hope that I once had for finding a good woman in this country.
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Postby Rich » Sun Feb 23, 2014 7:17 am

travelsouth wrote:If you are a decent looking gringo in his mid-twenties I'd steer clear of this girl, her kid, and her crazy ex. Life is cheap in these sort of places and you are better off keeping a low profile. You are messing with a dude and his kid (in his mind anyways). Maybe the dude is a scumbag. Maybe the woman is the real issue. Either way with your options you are best just steering clear of all this. Some people are too hard-headed to listen but for your own good just cut off contact and get lost from these people.


Excellent advice, Travelsouth. Rudder, stay clear of Third World Drama. I certainly wouldn't be telling an ex boyfriend in Peru to go f himself. That doesn't sound quite right but you know what I mean.
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Postby Rich » Sun Feb 23, 2014 7:26 am

rudder wrote:Well I moved into a new place and hit it off extremely great with one of the girls here. We were rubbing groins and everything. Fast forward one week later and I'm extremely depressed having just broken up with this same girl. My depression level is among the lowest levels I have encountered in my life. This time it's really going to cost me to move on, especially because I see her at every meal since the landlady cooks for us. I give my heart to these girls and they just stomp all over it, and they don't give a crap about my well being. Even though she acts all conservative and denies that she has any romantic interest with her guy friends, she goes out with them, but she gets all mad at me for being sensitive me and feeling jealous that she spends so much time with them, but hardly any time with me. Well, I dumped her because she started talking shit about me indirectly when she brought up the topic in front of everyone at lunch yesterday about how she could never marry a gringo because we're all too lazy.+++ She then went on to say that Peruvian women are too much woman for gringos because gringos are weak.

Just a few days prior to this, she was in my bed making out and telling me she wants to go to live with me in my hometown and she wants me to give her a baby. When breaking up with her I mentioned this and told her how stupid I was for believing her. She doesn't even see the need to give me an apology for her rotten, two-faced behavior.

I also found out she lied to me about at least three things:
1) Her full name. I had already seen her full name when I looked on her computer's youtube and facebook account. She wrote me this total BS name and I called her out on it, but she still insisted that her BS name was her name.
2) She told me (probably to make me feel jealous) that she was going out with some guy "friend" friday night to the disco. Well I asked her friday night and she said that she was just "joking" when she told me that.
3) She told me on various occasions that the widowed landlady was interested in me romantically. She insisted that our relationship had to be a secret otherwise the landlady would feel jealous. I finally told the landlady this last night, and she completely denied having any romantic interest in me. The landlady's friend was also there, and we all came to the conclusion that this girl is a sociopathic liar.

Now I'm thinking vengeance. I'd like to type up a letter similar to what I have just written here in Spanish and tape it to the girl's door and also to the dining room table as well as other strategic locations around the house. This girl really squashed my heart big time. Or maybe I will just bluntly ask her in front of everyone while she is in the middle of a mouthful of food at lunch: "Why did you lie and say that the landlady wanted to be with me romantically?" "Did you do that so that the landlady wouldn't find out that you're with multiple men?"

I don't know. I have many many opportunities to see this girl again, and thus plenty of opportunities to teach her a lesson about f***ing with a sensitive man's heart. I'm open to hearing some suggestions for what to do. My rent period doesn't end until March 9th. I'm going to wait another day and then ask her if she'd like to come clean, and if she still doesn't want to at that point then I say unleash the vengeance. I might as well burn some bridges.

In any case, I think my happier abroad dreams are over. I have had enough shitty experiences with women here in one month and one week to completely zap any hope that I once had for finding a good woman in this country.


Are you kidding me? You got to make out with some good looking girls and got valuable overseas experience, sounds like a total success to me. And you're only 25, it's all good practice. When your 40 you'll have money and you'll be able to marry a hot 25 year old. No point in marrying them now - you're too young. What? You want to grow old with you're new wife? Nah, your best years are ahead of you.
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Postby Mr S » Sun Feb 23, 2014 11:09 am

How much Spanish do you need to know to be running around the country the way you are? Are you a fluent speaker or intermediate?

If you are in your 20's you shouldn't even be considering single mothers, you can worry about in your 40's if need be.

Remember, there are other countries other than Peru and you may fit better with those cultures and girls so don't give up just cause of some weird and negative experiences in Peru.

From my own experience you gotta be in one country for at least 6 months to start sorting out decent from bad women and getting a chance to date some decent ones that meet your specifications. IF you jump at the first ones that get your attention usually you will regret it in the long run once your realize how many more opportunities there are if you just take your time and remain patient.

Decent men with means are generally hard to come by for women in third and second world countries so you actually have a lot going for if you just take your time, gain experience with women, then maybe find a serious relationship in your 30's after you have been around the block, know what you like and don't like and work on increasing your financial means.

You won't even have to try that hard once you hit your 30's, that's when women really swoon over guys cause you are still young, they think you are more serious and have potential to raise a family.
"The object of life is not to be on the side of the majority but to escape finding oneself in the ranks of the insane." Marcus Aurelius, Roman Emperor and stoic philosopher, 121-180 A.D.
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Postby rudder » Wed Feb 26, 2014 5:07 pm

My disposition is that I get pretty attached to whichever girl I'm romantically involved in. I don't really enjoy meeting lots of inadequate girls, because sooner rather than later I just have to deal with the pain that they're not the right girl. I'd rather find "Ms. Perfect" tomorrow and be done with it.

Having said that, I don't feel like I'm gathering many options where I'm at in Peru right now. The girls are pretty shy and hard to meet/talk to, because they are taciturn. I don't even feel like I'm getting significantly more indicators of interest from the women here than I was in the USA.

Ideally, I'd like to be in a place where women have fun, friendly personalities. A place where women will lock eye contact and start smiling at me. Not the case here in Tarapoto.
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Postby Mr S » Wed Feb 26, 2014 5:21 pm

If you want a woman who will take things more seriously and with greater intelligence for communication you probably would be better off in a country within the Central or NE Asia region.

How much of a command of the Spanish language do you need to have to be running around Peru like you are doing? Are you beginner, intermediate or advanced speaker?
"The object of life is not to be on the side of the majority but to escape finding oneself in the ranks of the insane." Marcus Aurelius, Roman Emperor and stoic philosopher, 121-180 A.D.
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Postby rudder » Wed Feb 26, 2014 9:17 pm

Mr S wrote:How much Spanish do you need to know to be running around the country the way you are? Are you a fluent speaker or intermediate?

You won't even have to try that hard once you hit your 30's, that's when women really swoon over guys cause you are still young, they think you are more serious and have potential to raise a family.


I'm 25, but the women always think I'm 30 or 35. I look older than I am. My Spanish is fluent. I speak at a near native level. Nonetheless, it's definitely not a first language for me, and I can get quite tired of speaking it from time to time. I find it easy to get burnt out from speaking a foreign a language all the time.

It would be interesting to see how someone would do in Peru that doesn't really know that much Spanish. I think they would have trouble, but I'm sure they could still get a few women.

The problem with asian countries is that they are so far away from the USA and I have absolutely no knowledge of any of those languages. It's important to be able to speak the language of the land even if most of the people there know english as a second language.
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