Join John Adams, world renowned Intl Matchmaker, Monday nights 8:30 EST for Live Webcasts!
And check out Five Reasons why you should attend a FREE AFA Seminar! See locations and dates here.
View Active Topics View Your Posts Latest 100 Topics FAQ Topics Mobile Friendly Theme
What's your story? Discussions your reasons for going abroad.
12 posts • Page 1 of 1
First, a short background on me. After high school, I enlisted to join the Air Force so I moved out of my parents house at the age of 18. I basically served and busted my ass for 4 years of active duty. While I was in, I used to hear things like women love a man in uniform. Well, I was one of those guys and I can personally tell you that is complete bullshit. Women never paid any attention to me and rejected me just the same, and always gave me the same old "you'll meet the right one someday" crap. I couldn't tell you how many times a woman asked me if I was a pilot after I told them that I was in the Air Force. After I told them no and what my real job was, they would just kind of go like "oh" like I'm not worth talking to anymore. I think that women only like a man in uniform if he is a high ranking and well paid officer. That is just my theory.
Anyways, after I got out I started college shortly afterwards. I think I was around 23 at the time. I started meeting some girls that I went to class with, and the conversations were pretty bland from what I remember. Sometimes, it went okay but then I would hear the topic of the perceived boyfriend come up. Like every girl that I had some kind of interest in was either taken or lied about having the boyfriend. Or everytime that I tried to ask the girl out, she would give me some lame excuse as to why she couldn't. Eventually, I just gave up entirely.
I come to the age of 25, and I was still a virgin at the time. I decided that I was so fed up with never having a shred of success with women that I turned to google for some answers. I remember typing in the words "how to attract women" or something like that. It returned a bunch of results but that is when I came across David DeAngelo and his ebook Double Your Dating (this was long before I even found out about the difference between Western and Foreign women). So I ended up purchasing his ebook and read from it. As much as I hated it, I started putting some of his techniques to work and I started seeing some results. Women started responding to me but only when I used the right techniques to the letter. The problem with it was that there was no way to keep going with it. I would entertain some hot girl for maybe a couple of minutes but I ran out of material, and everything went downhill from there. On top of that, it took so much damned work to be so friggin fake in order to attract a girl. I mean, I got minimal numbers, got minimal dates, MINIMAL sex for so much damned work and financial investment. I just got so fed up with it, that I decided that if I have to put on that kind of show just to get some girls into me, then I wouldn't be able to comprehend the kind of bullshit that I would have to deal with if I got married to one of these selfish bitches. That would be just impossible to meet all these Western women's unrealistic demands. I decided to give up trying to get the occasional date with an AW for little or no return. I also abandoned the PUA community because I felt that it stood against my very nature to be nice to women and treat them with respect. Of course, we all know here that nice gets you NOTHING from women in this society as a guy. You have to turn into a complete deusch to have any success with an AW...pathetic. No more AW for me.
I just turned 31 last month, and now I am just working full time and trying to finish school part time. I haven't had a dating life in like 4-5 years, never had any sort of girlfriend, a few female friends but nothing major. Now, I am working, planning, and saving a bunch of money to inevitably travel to all different parts of the world. I want to experience all the cultures I've been reading and hearing about, start meeting some REAL foreign women for a change, and just be myself for the rest of my life without having to worry about putting up a fake persona just to survive and live in the U.S. That is it in a nutshell. I wrote more than I thought I would but I am glad to get this off my chest.
Check out our Dating Sites and International Romance Tours!
Special Offer! FREE 6 Month Membership on ForeignWomen.com! Sign up here.
Find Your Foreign Sweetheart Now! Try our international Dating Sites and Overseas Romance Tours!
Thanks for sharing Guyver. You definitely aren't alone, as this is something that millions and millions of perfectly great/normal guys have to say.
I have a friend who also joined the US Air Force, but never had a date before in his life. He wasn't a pilot in the USAF either, got out of it, and is now going to school. He's very good looking, but is not rich enough, and is too much of a "nice guy." He says he isn't even able to spend time with American girls, since he doesn't have the money to invite them to do all the trivial things they'd be expecting.
Once at a college campus, I saw a tent set up by a Christian organization, where people got to write their anonymous secrets on index cards and post them up on the tent wall. There were suicide notes, drug addiction confessions, eating disorder confessions, but one of the most common kinds was about chronic loneliness and datelessness. Stuff like having never kissed (except for mom), being rejected by dozens of girls, having never ever gone on a date, and what not. They were everywhere! Many of these guys slip into chronic online gaming addiction so they could be in another world, since they have nowhere else to turn to in America.
Typical cliches like "pick up some hobbies," "be more assertive," and "be a more interesting person" don't necessarily work. Plenty of single American guys who would make great husbands and fathers are completely ignored by American women. By instinct, women should be consciously and subconsciously attracted to the good hubby/daddy traits, but apparently not in some First World countries! This is against evolutionary logic too.
Now if you ask me - stories like this one are A-M-A-Z-I-N-G!!!
Try telling someone living in Europe that you were in the military, which means you did exercise and "looked brave in the uniform", but stayed a virgin FOR SO LONG??? Impossible! Every Russian guy would be shocked because most Russian guys lose virginity before the go to serve and get married after they return, for example. Serving in Russia is very tough, also still mandatory draft for 1 year, you get paid nothing and have a chance of dying from cold. But as a man in a uniform there are always tons of girls in any city you go or travel who are totally willing to hook up or just talk to you!
I wish you all the best! I remember how I felt dateless in the U.S. and blamed myself. Thank Heaven, I switched to my own culture and dated dozens of girls in the U.S., had great sex and very intimate relationships.
These lonely people are also prime candidates to get recruited into the American fundamentalist Christian "flock" by wasting their lives in a miserable cult like theocracy where their loneliness is replaced by religious group think and further sexual repression. There are no healthy outlets for the lack of social and sexual normalcy in the U.S. The only outlet is that a U.S. passport makes for a good exit strategy.
Mazlow's hierarchy of needs at work here. The majority of women in the U.S. feel satisfied with the most basic needs in life and desire intrigue, spirituality (usually commercialized and phony), and drama. It's all about ego. Even the consumerism is ego and self validation. People in America buy tons of worthless shit to feel special. American women want to feel special all the time and their behavior is culturally reinforced with the way neo feminism and the scarcity mentality works in most U.S. cities.
Yes, I am glad that I am not alone in this struggle, and I finally found some medium where I can talk with other guys who experience the same problems with women.
That sounds exactly like my situation. I played World of Warcraft for 3 years because I was addicted to the social aspect and challenge of the game. It was the only thing I had that came close to a social life. The f***ed up thing is I started talking to this one girl from Nebraska who happened to be a single mother (big mistake I know now) who played the game. Tons of single moms, couples and some families play MMO's from my experience. But anyways, I was helping this girl out on a dungeon run and told her to grab what was in the treasure chest in a room. She was like "is it better than mine?" from out of no where. lol she sent me some pictures of her topless after that (nice rack on her btw). Anyways, long story short she kept dropping me hints to come visit her and this and that. Finally, after like 2 years of playing the game together and flirting, I decided to make a serious trip out there. When I emailed her on facebook about making plans, she never responded. I send one more email to ask why, and still no response. She had plenty of time to respond too. I got so pissed that I deleted her from any medium of contact that I had her on, and I never spoke to her again. All that time of getting to know each other, leading me on, and she doesn't f***ing respond when it's time to get serious? WTF! Anyways, I learned from that lesson.
Yes, I was a virgin for that long. The funny thing is a lot of people didn't believe me if I told them. I didn't understand why it was so hard to believe. The older I got, the more I realized that being a virgin in this society was not a good thing. I mean it's like people looked down on it because it wasn't normal and something was wrong with me. Now I know how much casual sex is over rated. It doesn't matter to me anymore.
Welcome Guyver. As you well know, lonely, nice men like yourself are common here in the US. I thought I was a late bloomer myself, not losing my virginity until I was 21. As you pointed out, casual sex is way overrated in Amerikan culture, and virgins are made to feel like losers and wierdos. If I knew then what I know now (nearly a decade later), I would probably have been more content with my virgin statuts, and I would have held out until I found better.
The BS line: "women just love a man in uniform" is like a cruel joke now. Actually, women probably were at one time attracted to men in uniform here in America, such as during WWI, WWII, and the Korean War, but obviously men in uniform were having shit thrown upon them by American Bitches by the time the Vietnam War and the radical sixties rolled around. I too was enlisted in a four year term, and the only time I got to feel cool for donning my dress Alphas was when a girl who was a senior at my former highschool (I graduated a year ahead of her) wanted me to escort her to her homecoming dance when I was home on leave.
Also, I just wanted to reinforce what Repatriate has said: these lousy christian fundamentalists quite literally "prey" (not pray, lol) on lonely, desperate young men, and especially men. They want to take further advantage of these poor saps by subjecting them to yet more abuse, pushing the sexually-repressive BS indoctrination on them, keeping them alone, or trying to fix them up with an unsuitable partner (like a single woman with four kids when the man is a single virgin). I have witnessed some of this shit myself. I stopped attending this one church (I went for a while because my mother goes), because I knew in my heart that it was a DEAD END for me, especially after this one "nice guy" who attended the church was inevitably convinced by the idots there to marry some bimbo there with three thuglet junior kids. This event disgusted me for some reason, but at the time I wasn't knowledgable enough to quite put my finger on what bothered me about it.
Another time, I was invited to attend a local church that my uncle and cousin were members of. The church encouraged me to join the "worship" band (I happen to be a musician), and so I tried it out for a few weeks. I too became disgusted with this church when some events transpired. I meet the pastor's niece, who was allegedly a 25 year old virgin, who was desperately seeking a man/soulmate. Hard to believe, I know, as she was quite decent looking, but if you witnessed her mannerisms and whatnot, you could almost tell that she probably was sincere. I tried to get to know her, and guess what? She had zero interest in me although she was nice to me, and instead pursued my cousin who is a 100% player; basically the alpha "badboy" that all American Women seem to crave so much. So this bitch was nice to me in order to win over my whore mongering cousin? "f**k this shit!", I told myself, and that was the last involvement I've had with attending any church. Christian Funndy's in America tend to prey on the "suckers," of which I don't consider myself to be.
Last edited by Disillusioned_American on November 10th, 2011, 6:56 pm, edited 1 time in total.
BTW, I see that you're from Buffalo. I think another member here is from Buffalo as well; maybe ErikHeaven IIRC. I haven't been up there in a few years, but I miss that city a little... I still have family up that way, and one friend who graduated from UB, back in 2003 I think.
I don't want to get off topic here, but just wanted to say Buffalo used to be so chill when I would go there during the summer. The summer weather there is ideal, IMO, however harsh the winters may be. The clubs/nightlife district is better than that of many similar-sized East Coast cities; I miss the Pearl Street Grill & Brewery and the Erie County Fair! Plus going up to Canada was easier a few years back (no passport needed then). When I tell people from the East Coast about how pristine Lake Erie is these days, they look at me like I'm crazy. They think it's still on fire; I guess they're too ignorant to realize that: (1) the US sold out it's own steel manufacturing industries years ago, or (2) that the pollusion there has since diminished greatly.
So yeah, I think it's a cool little city with a decent vibe outside of the ghetto areas.
Thank you, DA and dude I am totally with you on this subject. I probably would have stayed a virgin too if I knew then what I know now about 10 years ago. It's funny really because guys like us heard things like what we are saying here when we were like 20 yrs old from other guys who were in their 30's and 40's. However, it really is impossible to sink in until you have actually lived it to tell the tale.
I think you are right when you say that women were probably attracted to a man in uniform back in the WWI and WWII era. It would have been more believable back then because it was before the feminist movement. Like you say, those Americunts unjustly threw so much shit at men and put them through a lot of grief. Nowadays, women could give two shits less about us as far as attraction goes for a guy in his dress uniform.
I cannot disagree with either you or Repatriate on the issue of Christian fundamentalism. I mean it's one thing to have a personal relationship with God, and it's a whole different ball game when you try to force your views upon others. I don't trust any of the fundamentalist groups. Another thing I have noticed is western churches have been infected with feminism. That alone makes me want to stay the hell away from them.
Yes, I am from Buffalo. I actually grew up in the Amherst area. The winters are pretty tough since we are so close the the great lakes, but like you say the summers make up for that. lol, Buffalo is one of the only places I know about that has all four seasons. I used to go clubbing to the bars on Chippewa St. downtown. Buffalo is a great place for doing all kinds of stuff, and the people are a different breed. I like the free concerts at Thursday at the Square and the shows at the canal in North Tonawanda. There is usually a huge car show there every year too. I'm also glad to see the Sabres and the Bills doing well this year so far. I have family on both sides of the border, so I am working on getting my enhanced driver's license. It's way more convenient. Okay, I'm done going off topic now.
I've never heard that one before. If you are talking about enlisted base pay, then it is basically all the same for all the branches depending on your pay-grade. Anything extra would come from things like BAH which is for housing, or if you are deployed you usually get hazard pay. It is sort of like getting commisions on whatever your usual salary is. Officers are the highest paid in all the branches because they are commisioned through a type of school called OTS (officer training school). That is what I know.
Oh yeah, I wanted to add this one: why didn't you lie to those women that you were a pilot? I mean - they are worthless entitled bitches that lie to you ALL the time about everything! Just freaking tell them what they want to hear! I am against any lies or BS myself, that's why dating American women is not something I consider at all. But if you just want to get laid - who cares? See, our problem is that we are good men, decent, have dignity and honor. But no one cares about that! Sad, but true. So use them as they use you I guess.
Military guys are definitely more exposed to outside world! I remember talking to a retired Navy officer who was stationed in many countries, such a bright guy! Understands clearly difference between cultures, needless to say he is married to a Japanese girl he met while he was stationed in Japan.
You would think that we would get some respect considering the hell that we had to go through regardless of the branch we are in. American women don't give a flying f**k about us, and they take us and their rights and freedoms for granted. I wonder how they would be if all of that was taken away from them. It is true that Pilots and officers get all the respect. The rest of us who do the hard work fixing things and maintaining all their gear, vehicles, and equipment are nothing but cannon fodder. We don't matter. All I can say is keep on that path, friend, because there will be plenty of perks for you in the end when you are finished. Not just the pay but the respect as well. As you say, in America, no one gives a shit about WHO you are; they only care about what your f***ing job is. That is the absolute pinnacle of American society. How pathetic things have become.
Believe me, dude, I am considering it. The reason I didn't lie to them back in the day was because I was too young and stupid to know any better that they were lying to me about 95% of the time. I figured that if I was honest with them, then they would be honest to me in return. Holy shit was I wrong. Maybe if they ask me what I do for a living, then I should just tell them that I am a lawyer or doctor or a f***ing vice president of a women's lungerie company, lol. In all honesty, all I have ever wanted was to find that one special someone. Not necessarily to get laid to some random girl. I have learned that is over-rated. I mean, theoretically, if you did find that one special someone, then sex would never be a problem because you could get it anytime you wanted.
A retired Navy officer married to a Japanese girl? How is that working out for him? I was stationed in Okinawa, Japan but I was way too young to see any of the clear differences in cultures between countries like I see now.