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Why do many of you want to go abroad but never do?

What's your story? Discussions your reasons for going abroad.

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Why do many of you want to go abroad but never do?

Postby Winston » Thu Jan 05, 2012 1:01 pm

I don't think this has been brought up yet, so I'll be the first to do it.

I don't understand something. Why is it that so many of you guys here always praise and cheer the concept of going abroad for a better love life and more natural lifestyle, yet you just talk about it for years and never actually do it?

Isn't that illogical? What is the real reason for that? I know you guys will say "I don't have the money" or "I have obligations to take care of first", but come on, how can it take years? I mean, even if you work a minimum wage job, you could save up $800 for a plane ticket in two months if you wanted to. And if it were a life or death emergency, you could get out of the USA tomorrow if you had to.

So what's the real excuse? Is it fear, procrastination, laziness, or addiction to misery? Any idea?

Now, I'm not just talking about moving abroad, I'm talking about traveling abroad for a few weeks too. A lot of you don't even do that, even though it would only cost a few thousand dollars.

It's strange how so many can talk about it and want to do it, yet never do it. You guys know who you are, and I don't mean to try to blame you, but I think there must be some kind of "deep emotional block" underneath all the excuses, that's preventing you guys from doing what you want. If so, isn't it important to identify it so that it can be removed? Perhaps we can help trace the root causes here. This is obviously important, because it's affecting a large percentage of you guys. So we need to find out the real underlying cause. Don't you agree?

Any suggestions as to how we can do this?
Last edited by Winston on Sat Jan 07, 2012 6:32 am, edited 2 times in total.
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Postby lookin4happiness » Thu Jan 05, 2012 4:34 pm

I think that some people are blessed to just naturally not be too tied down to one place. Other people have very thick habits associated with their home country that they find it hard to leave. They are also scared of change, and scared of the unknown. Learning about traveling to very different foreign countries via books or internet for example is very different than going there! That is not to say that you have to move to a foreign country without checking it out first. But Jeez, I just read an article in the NYTimes this morning about how America is not the land where the lower classes can easily rise to the top anymore (as if we didn't already know that) and that it is much easier to do in other developed countries (that is rise from a lower class to a more wealthy class) despite all the bullshit of there being no class in America. What this all means is that there are just more and more reasons everyday to pack your bags and go abroad.
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Postby Think Different » Thu Jan 05, 2012 5:10 pm

I think a large part of it is the same reason that men or women stick around in dead-end miserable relationships or marriages, when they know there is something better elsewhere. It's easier to stay stuck in a rut and be comfortable with the walls that surround you. As you get older, finding the courage to pick up and leave everything you know becomes even harder. If people truly are desperate to get out, then pay the $400 and do an online TEFL course, and find an entry-level English teaching job in Mexico or something, so long as they give you enough money to pay your bills, buy your food, and hang out with friends. If you aren't married, you have NOTHING to lose by trying it. Once you get out of your comfort (or discomfort) zone and let the uniqueness of the world beyond US borders wash over you, you truly come alive in a way you never thought possible. You start to see life in a "survival mode" that makes you really wake up and feel alive, you start learning a new language, new foods, new customs, etc. You'll think you're in a dream for a few months at first, and then you'll wonder what the hell took you so long to cut the chain and go.
Last edited by Think Different on Thu Jan 05, 2012 5:13 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Postby Grunt » Thu Jan 05, 2012 5:13 pm

Objects at rest tend to stay at rest.

I think a big part of the problem is money, of course.

Also, there is fear and apprehension. Going overseas can be an expensive proposition, with very high stakes. It is normal to want to avoid making a huge mistake and going broke due to it.

I also think that due to the above, there is an incredible amount of bitterness and resentment as men realize that they are essentially in a no-win situation. A sense of betrayal is to be expected, so that is where most of the anger comes from.

Overall only 5% of the men that "wake up" will actually make an attempt to go overseas. The burden to do so is simply too great to overcome for 95% of the men out there, though no fault of their own.
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Postby xiongmao » Thu Jan 05, 2012 7:15 pm

My decent salary keeps my in the UK... for now at least.

I guess if I was made redundant again then I'd be off. Sometimes you need a push like this to get you off your ass.
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Postby pete98146 » Thu Jan 05, 2012 7:24 pm

I think much of it has to do with Americans being fat, lazy and spoiled. We are the worst travelers on earth! Most are not willing to take a step back in their living conditions. My wife is from Iligan City in Phils. They just had their entire town torn apart by a serious storm/flood. But alas they are resilient people on earth and they are back on their feet in a few days. Your typical American would buckle under the pressure and run back to the US at the first sign of trouble. Simply stated, we are pussies who are not willing to sacrifice our cushy lifestyles.

The 5% that would consider moving either have significant travel experience abroad and/or have lived in different countries growing up. Me? My father is career Air Force officer. I lived in Germany as a young kid so I got a good taste of living abroad. I'm excited to explore the expat life once I retire.

Here's an interesting option for guys to ponder. Choice #1. You stay single and lonely in the US without much of a chance to land a good sex partner other than your right hand.......or Choice #2. Move to Phils and live in an apartment similar to Winston's (we've all seen pictures) but your gf will be the likes of Ellie Tran, Heart Evangelista or Reon Kadena and you have $500 a month US to live on.

I'll bet you if you surveyed 1000 single guys in the US, 95% of them would pick Choice #1.
Last edited by pete98146 on Thu Jan 05, 2012 7:54 pm, edited 4 times in total.
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Postby Winston » Thu Jan 05, 2012 7:55 pm

That's stupid advice billy. You don't need 50k to go abroad. Even if you have just a few thousand, at least you can go abroad for a few weeks on vacation so you can get acquainted with foreign women and decide if you want to stay there and look for a job.

If everyone tried to save up 50k first, then they'd waste all their years fruitlessly. That's a false assumption.

You don't have to save up so you can move abroad. You can just save up to travel abroad first and meet the girl you're corresponding with. Lots of guys have done that already.

You are not being reasonable billy. That was terrible advice.
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Postby Think Different » Thu Jan 05, 2012 10:14 pm

I moved over to Europe for 6 years during the 90s and didn't have any more than a couple hundred bucks to my name. I arranged an ESL job with a private school and from there moved into a job at a company that paid me a normal competitive salary for that city. I had enough money to save for vacations abroad, for going out with friends and movies pretty much every night and to have girlfriends. I did fine. A good ESL job will pay your ticket to and from the country and find you a place to live. China does this as a matter of course nowadays.

The absolutely biggest obstacle to an American NOT going overseas is their own fear, combined with crushing debt from cars, homes, school loans, etc. IMHO part of the reason the US government has pushed loans so hard on people, is to make them debt slaves. A debt slave cannot leave and is beholden to the government and is a constant taxpayer for the best years of his productive life. Many other countries don't live on debt cycles, but understand the value of relying on family and friends, and to live within your means (i.e. pay cash). For example, in Germany the concept of debt is so distasteful that the word for "debt" is the same word for "guilt". That word is "Schuld". Look it up. Don't be a Schuldensklave.
Last edited by Think Different on Thu Jan 05, 2012 11:28 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Postby Winston » Fri Jan 06, 2012 7:00 am

I guess I should make it clear that I'm not just talking about moving abroad permanently. I'm also talking about traveling abroad for a few weeks, which takes only a few thousand dollars. But a lot of guys here don't even do that for some reason, even though they want to and praise the concept of doing so. Why?
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Postby CheezeRaider » Fri Jan 06, 2012 8:22 am

Mental conditioning. Just like the circus elephants.

When you only use instinct and emotion alone, you are no different from any other mammal of this world. it is our ability to use the little bean inside the skull and having the fortitude to walk into the frontier land as many of our ancestors has before us that we can be human.

So ask yourself, where your frontier land is. And go forth. Or be a slave.
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Postby Twobrains » Fri Jan 06, 2012 11:23 am

billy wrote:I don´t like the concept of travelling without aim. When I was in
Argentina for 3 month and Turkes for 1,5 month I was bored.

People may say that travelling is cool. But it costs a lot of money and
probably you will get bored as you don´t have any social circel.

For the aim of settle somewhere you have so many variables which you
can solve at home. The most important one is: Who am I, the famous
philosophical question raised by Socarates. Which difficult enough.

Then comes what do I want and so forth. It takes long to find that out IMHO.
There are many people abroad who are fugutives of themself.

Things are difficult.


Damn true! There's a Buddhist saying: "Wherever you go, there you are."

I've travelled a hell of a lot, and still plan to, but long term it can get boring without a social circle. That's the first thing I'll address when I settle abroad.
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Postby Winston » Fri Jan 06, 2012 2:30 pm

billy wrote:Ok Winston then tell me. Say a guy from NA goes to PI with 2000€. Should he then
get a 5 Dollar per day job? Or is it better to go with 50k where he could stay almost 10 years
without having to make a shitty job there.

Or he goes to Europe. His 2k Dollar will last 1 month. In one mounth it is difficult to get a job.
Besides he needs work permits. With 50k he could have 5 years time to get a lasting jobs.

Half of the italian guys live at home they have no money to rent a flat. Think about it. Thinks are
difficult out there.

Look at the new guy Paul who is in PI. He is happy there because he went there with money.

Mostly your only option is to be an english teacher otherwise probably there is no work there.


I would like to hear the opinions of the seniors like Ladislav in this matter. I can´t believe he thinks like
you.

No money at home = loser
No money abroad = almost dead


Billy,
You are badly misinformed and your logic lacks common sense. FYI, Ladislav doesn't have 50k. He works online teaching English and makes over a thousand dollars a month. See his story about that here: http://www.happierabroad.com/forum/viewtopic.php?t=8998

Nowhere in Ladislav's blogs or posts does he say that you have to save up 50k before you go abroad. Get real. It would take years or never to save up that much money. Tons of guys only have a few thousand. They teach English and make enough to pay their expenses. They don't make 5 dollars a day. You are badly misinformed. Go abroad and talk to expats. Get out and see how they live in the real world.

When I was in Poland, even I was offered a job teaching English in a small town called Olzstyn, even though I had no teaching credentials. The British guy that owned the schools simply liked me so he asked if I wanted to teach English at his school. So you see, any native English speaker can get a job teaching English overseas. It may not pay much if you don't have a TEFL certificate, but it'll pay enough to live. Go to ESLCafe.com and you can read many such stories of people teaching English making enough to live. It is not something like 5 dollars a day. Where did you get that idea?

My friend Robert lives in Prague, Czech Republic, and teaches English to make a living too. He shares a flat with a roommate. He didn't save up 50k. No way.

You don't need to spend 2k a month to live in Europe. If you stay in $20 hostels everyday, which are everywhere in Europe, you only pay $600 a month for a bed each night. Then you can budget your food and transportation expenses of course. Don't forget you can use your credit card too. Also, if you use CouchSurfing.com or HospitalityClub.org, you can stay for free at many hosts' homes, which will save you a lot of money.

Dude, do you have no travel experience? lol

Ladislav does not tell anyone they need 50k to go abroad. He tells people that they either need to get a job teaching English, find a job with a US company, or have an online income or business of some kind. Check out his advice blog here, and you will see: http://expatriateobservations.blogspot.com

Besides, I am also referring to going abroad for a 2 or 3 week vacation to meet your foreign sweetheart too. No one needs 50k for that. Only a few thousand will do. Only older guys have 50k saved up, and that's if they saved it up wisely. Young guys don't have that kind of cash in the bank. Get real. Your view of reality must be totally distorted. Do you have any travel experience? Sheesh.
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Postby Winston » Fri Jan 06, 2012 2:36 pm

billy wrote:I don´t like the concept of travelling without aim. When I was in
Argentina for 3 month and Turkes for 1,5 month I was bored.

People may say that travelling is cool. But it costs a lot of money and
probably you will get bored as you don´t have any social circel.

For the aim of settle somewhere you have so many variables which you
can solve at home. The most important one is: Who am I, the famous
philosophical question raised by Socarates. Which difficult enough.

Then comes what do I want and so forth. It takes long to find that out IMHO.
There are many people abroad who are fugutives of themself.

Things are difficult.


??????!!!!!!! Dude, if you were bored, then you suck. When I go to a new town or country, I go to the visitor center to get info on attractions, historical sites, museums, etc. Don't you like to learn about history? Sheesh. I'm sure there are plenty of museums in Germany and visitor centers with attractions to point you to.

As to meet people, you can meet girls on the street. Didn't you see me doing that in my videos? http://www.happierabroad.com/film.php You don't need any social circle. You've been living in Germany too long. Even if you don't know anyone or don't approach girls, you can always meet people through CouchSurfing.com and HospitalityClub.org.

You can travel and spend a lot of money, or travel frugally. Haven't you seen the "Europe on a Shoestring" travel guides? Sheesh. You must suck at budget travel. I told you, there are hostels for $20 a night all over Europe. See here to find many of them: http://www.hostels.com And you can stay for free with people if you use CouchSurfing.com and HospitalityClub.org. No need to spend a lot of money.

Man, you are a lot more ignorant than I thought! Sheesh.

You don't have to settle. Just go out and experience something new everyday. Europe is abundant with museums. I am very happy with visiting museums all day, since I love history.

Please process all the facts above into your brain. You are obviously very ignorant about a lot of things. Dang.
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Postby Winston » Fri Jan 06, 2012 2:41 pm

Twobrains wrote:Damn true! There's a Buddhist saying: "Wherever you go, there you are."

I've travelled a hell of a lot, and still plan to, but long term it can get boring without a social circle. That's the first thing I'll address when I settle abroad.


Damn FALSE. See my reasons above.

How can it get boring without a social circle? The beauty of traveling is that you meet new people everyday. That's VERY stimulating. I have no idea what you're talking about. You sound like you've never traveled. I've never heard any traveler say that it gets boring without a social circle or clique. Don't you remember, people abroad are more INCLUSIVE too. That's why we go abroad. Duh. Have you guys lost your marbles?

You can always make new friends and socialize in hostels, with Couchsurfing.com and HospitalityClub.org hosts, etc. Some people meet their boyfriend/girlfriend off those sites too. I even dated a girl in Seattle from one of those sites.

I also meet people from my mailing list and this forum when I travel, who happen to be in the area. In California and Arizona, a lot of my Happier Abroad fans met me and treated me to dinner too.
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Postby Twobrains » Fri Jan 06, 2012 9:29 pm

Ego, ego, ego, Winston. With you it's always about what you did, how many people liked you, how superior you were to them, how everyone else is deluded and you have the only answer to life that is worth considering.

I'm with Billy on this one. You can run around the world chasing new sensation after new sensation, but eventually you have to face yourself. I spent the last three years travelling almost continuously around Europe, moving every couple of weeks, sometimes more often. It gets boring. You never get to go deeper with a place or its people. Now, due to a change in circumstances, I've had to stop and put down some roots. I'm much happier. I'll travel again in the future - lots more places to see - but unless I use those experiences as a kind of mirror to myself then I won't learn anything.

Have you learned anything about yourself during all your frantic activity, Winston? I mean really, deeply? Things that made you pause? Things that made you think you maybe don't know it all?
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