Four major things in America that drove me overseas

[Winston]

http://www.happierabroad.com/ebook/Page1c.htm

Four major things in America that drove me overseas

Now let me state for the record, I don’t hate America as a country. And I am not unpatriotic either, but neither am I a blind patriot who is brainwashed. (In fact, I find patriotism to be illogical and non-objective)

America is great in many ways with some important benefits and advantages - its political/religious freedoms, career/money making opportunities, general orderliness and efficient control/planning (compared to third world countries at least), generous government benefits, and many laws designed to protect the common people.

It’s just that there are key elements of life, society and culture in the modern USA that I find intolerable and incompatible with who I am. Here are some of the main ones:

1) People are generally anti-social, don’t talk to strangers, don’t know their neighbors, and have an isolation mentality that makes them PREFER being alone. Thus, it is hard, unnatural and “against the grain� to try to meet people in America. (Yet ironically, if you have no social life, you are considered a “loser�; That’s what I call being caught between a rock and a hard place) If you go out alone, you tend to STAY alone. And of course, you are expected to enjoy being that way. So if you are a person who needs others or is dependent, then you may have a perpetual problem and get told there is something wrong with you, finding little sympathy. Those who are anti-social themselves or overly individualistic don’t mind this as much though, since anti-social people don’t mind others being the same way. But those who are very social like me will have a problem with it, and feel out of place. Even when people are forced to interact with others in social situations, they tend to act fake, polite and distant, which is reflective of their isolation mentality. Also, the average person only meets people through school, work, or mutual friends, and thus their social life is confined within a very small circle their whole life. So, if there are no women you are attracted to in your social circle or clique, (assuming there are females in your clique) or who are attracted to you, then you are screwed (not physically either, unless you go to a whore) in the dating arena. Thank God that the internet is helping to change this, but I should add that you don’t tend to meet quality people online in the USA but you do abroad.

2) The lifestyle consists of working to death just to survive, and pay off bills and debt. “I owe, I owe, I owe so off to work I go� is the mantra of the middle class lifestyle, as one expat put it. However, freespirits like me tend to view the purpose of life as simply to “enjoy it� through enriching experiences while growing in self-expression, not to suffer and toil to death. Thus, our attitude is “against the grain� here. Many see making money as the highest goal or aspiration, and are willing to sacrifice every aspect of existence for it, including their precious time, health, heart and soul. Few people know how to truly enjoy life or even have fun. Even at parties, people mostly talk about their work and profession. Also, the pleasures and entertainment most people indulge in are artificial and commercial in nature, rather than soulful and natural. And romance has decreased in the collective mentality and culture to almost nil.

3) The US news media, in particular the network corporate news media (e.g. CNN, ABC, NBC, Newsweek, Time Magazine), is very unintellectual and possesses no insight at all. It rarely hosts or broadcasts any deep thought-provoking or meaningful discussions. Instead, they either attempt to instill fear and paranoia in you with reports of disasters and tragedies, implying that the only “important news� is “bad news�, which I strongly disagree with. I’ve never understood what good they think comes out of telling everyone “bad news�. Nor do I understand why “bad news sells� since it doesn’t “sell� to me. (Maybe I’m just weird) Or they constantly try to distract you and waste your time with mind numbing trashy content, covering trivial stories that are completely useless and irrelevant to the average person’s daily life. In the process they waste billions of dollars of expensive broadcast air time which could be used to cover meaningful and higher quality content instead. Rarely do they cover anything useful, enlightening, meaningful or positive that can change your life for the better. Thus, a person seeking to expand his/her mind, soul or cultural awareness will get absolutely nothing from the US network media, except maybe an insult to his/her intelligence. I hear far better discussions about world events and how things really are in pubs and youth hostels than on TV. The US media assumes that viewers are dumb and address the audience as though they were talking to “lemmings�, which to me is insulting as well as a waste of my time, contributing nothing to my rich inner world at all. In fact, every time I turn on the news, I feel that it’s constantly trying to “dumb me down�. Thank God that there’s PBS, the Discovery Channel, and the History Channel which have far more respect for viewer intelligence, or else I wouldn’t watch cable TV. That juvenile computer hacker helping Bruce Willis in the movie “Die Hard 4� put it well when he said, “The news wants you to live in fear, so that you will feel empty and consume useless junk.�

4) The women in general are extremely anti-social (unless they are old, unattractive or very poor), do not like to meet people, have a deep subconscious hatred of men, do not need men, do not even need the company of others, set standards that almost no man can meet, have a sense of entitlement that is off the chart, are unromantic, unsensual, untender, and very unfeminine in their attitude, looks/dress, personality and behavior. They are also conditioned by the culture to believe that any man who approaches them, pursues them, or flirts with them must be a creep or desperate, implying that a “normal man� is supposed to never pursue a woman but instead only let the women pursue them, which rarely happens, hence a no win situation in the US dating scene. Now, if you add the qualities in number 1 to this, it gets even worse, so you realize that trying to meet or date women in the US can be a total nightmare, and an exercise in futility. As a result, there are too many men, including me, who become couch potatoes, overeating and masturbating, having no choice. In short, the women simply don’t want to meet you, and there’s not much you can do about it.

Now, since meeting and courting beautiful women is one of my biggest passions in life, and I need to have a great sex life, the conditions of number 4 are a BIG NO-NO, intolerable and totally unacceptable. Thus we have a problem. Some men can tolerate it, but not me. Being dateless and sexless is one of the three things in life I can’t stand (the other two being fatal heights and early mornings) but alas, dateless and sexless is what I am in America, no matter how hard I try to change it. And since I love to socialize, have quality conversations, and meet quality people, number 1 is a big no-no too, leaving me lonely and bored.

Number 2 and 3 are more tolerable (despite the title of this chapter) for they can be avoided or worked around through alternative choices and lifestyles. But still, they attempt to invalidate me, for the US media assumes by default that its viewers are unintellectual, conformists to the workaholic rat race consumerist lifestyle, and think within a very narrow box. If you are a freethinker or freespirit who thinks outside the box, then you don’t exist to the US media, and thus are invalidated.

Furthermore, as mentioned in number 2, many see making money as the highest purpose or aspiration in life, and for them, American offers them great opportunities to achieve their highest goal. But no true intellectual would set that as the highest aim. Thus, the US lifestyle offers little for the true intellectual or freespirit like me, and in fact, who they are tends to go “against the flow� of society.

Anyhow, because of number 4 and 1, there are just too many lonely depressed men who become couch potatoes, eating potato chips, watching TV, and masturbating when horny, cause they have no other choice. But who is trying to help them? Definitely not the US media. Only a few resources are, such as me and my website. But unlike some sources, I am not full of any BS, but a truth seeker who tells it like it is. That you can count on.

In the next chapters, I will elaborate much more on the four “intolerables� above.

Reader Responses:

- “*** WWu, this is very good essay. I too have all but given up on a dating life in the USA. It is just impossible to meet attractive women. I think this mainly has to do with the shortage of attractive women (which is due to the recent sex ratio imbalance caused by the Baby Bust that has never happened before in human history, as well as the obesification of the American Woman), which allows them the ability to not have to date outside their little clique (only strange, desperate, or slutty women would allow themselves to be picked up by a stranger - unless he looked like Brad Pitt, of course.) This causes men like us who - through no fault of own - have poor social cliques to be unsuccessful in the USA. Women in other countries, like Eastern Europe or in your case, the Filipines, do not have near as much ability to date within their own clique, so they are open to being picked up by a stranger.�

- “The reason America is like that is because it's all a big plan. A big plan for the drug companys, corporations and government to screw up citizens as much as possible so they can sell them more chemical drugs, unecessary surgeries, shitty chemical food and make them work like slaves to buy more and pay more taxes.

North American women are fat because they hate men. That's my theory about fat North American women. European women are not as fat and they don't hate men as much. There is a connection for sure!�

[jamesbond]

How true! The culture in America says, "work is the most important thing in a persons life. Having a social life is NOT important." Of course trying to meet women in America is almost impossible, unless you have friends who can introduce you to a woman. Even if you do, you are still limited in the ways you can meet women in the US. You CAN'T meet them in grocery stores, bookstores or shopping malls, only through mutual friends, which is very limiting. Of course you can try the bars and clubs but at most bars and clubs in the US, it's mostly guys, so there is lot's of competition for the women. Most women who use the personal ads and the internet in America tend to be either overweight or unattractive, or they are single mothers. It's not a pretty scene here in America as far as meeting women goes, or as far as making friends goes either. I guess that leaves open the idea of traveling over seas to meet women. The more I hear from guys who have traveled to Russia, the Ukraine and the Philippines, the more I want to travel there someday myself!

[jamesbond]

Right on the mark about those points. I don't think there is political freedom though. People are given the illusion that they have freedom of choice in political candidates but they are all preselected. Anyone who has a different voice that goes against the grain of the political and financial elites and their program is carted off the stage so to speak and denounced as a crackpot or something similar. This is why I don't vote anymore. The news media only pays attention to those in the "program". Why would you trust anyone who is in the news a lot?

Freedom of speech is also in this category. You have to be in the "program" to speak freely.

You're right about patriotism. I don't believe in that anymore either. It's also an illusion. It's for people who can't think for themselves and need something to believe in. What I learned is that family, friends, and you are the most important things to worry about. Why go fight a war to fill the pockets of some corrupt politician elites? It's better to get an education or work in some occupation or seek an ideal that is important to you so that you can then help others. There is discrimination and hatred and other bad things from all sides and no one cares if you care for your "country". They don't even care about physical or economic borders. Patriotism is indeed a false concept. It's a good tool though.

Like some people said: make use of all the positive aspects of each country that you come across. Not every country is for everyone. America is great for some, and for others it can be a drain on your soul. I know what you mean when you say that some fools say that everything outside of America is bad. Well, some of us know better. It depends on the individual and what he is looking for. I hate it when people tell me that this is the best country on Earth when that is ridiculous. Maybe it's the best for an uneducated peasant who is hungry who will benefit because of his race or gender but maybe not for me. Even poor people are starting to go back to their countries. The system here is corrupt and now bankrupt. Whether people believe it or not, there is a pecking order here, and I'm called names for believing this. There is no equality - anywhere.

Right on about women and social lives. This country would be great if you can make gobs of money and then have properties in other countries and live abroad or a combination thereof. However, if you don't, it can be a hard life since there is not much of a family structure or social structure here. I find too that life can be hard without a decent social sphere including loving relationships. I feel like I lost my youth because of this. How can you concentrate on success when you have no social life to fulfill your emotional and psychological needs?

Great points gordon! America is a great country in some respects (like making money, starting your own business) but for other things lilke meeting women having a great social life it's another story. Men in America do need to travel and check out some other locations to see how they lilke them and maybe relocate to another country.

[kristy_571]

Winston... I live in So. Sacramento-Elk Grove actually. Anyhow... I was shopping at the grocery store yesterday (alone) after work. There was a black gentleman who said "hello" to me. I quickly said "hello" back, and then resumed hurrying back to my car ( I had to go pick up my child). Anyhow... the gentleman started wanting to talk to me more. He said "Excuse me..." Then I quickly replied "I am sorry, but I do not have any money to give you". Now, most of the time, in that area, in my experience, if a person talks to you more than for a hello, they will ask you for money. The black guy that wanted to talk to me said "I don't want money! I just wanted to talk to you!" as I was getting into my car. I felt really bad. I wasn't intrested in having a long chat with a stranger, and I had to get going. Did I do anything wrong? Was I antisocial? I try to say hello back to other people, but sometimes personal experiences and the fact that I am busy get in my way of prolonged talking. If it had been a woman, then most likely I would have been more willing to listen to what she had to say.

[gmm567]

Black males commit 70% of the violent crime in this country. Blacks are 13% of the total population and 1/2 or 7% of the population are black males.

You're best to have nothing to do with them. Especiallly some stranger who you meet in a grocery store. There's no time for Political Correctness when you're alone and by yourself and you're female with a child.

[kristy_571]

Thank you for your advice. It's very much appreciated.

I think the fact that I am female, and alone with a child does make sense, so what you said about not talking to too many people alone seems intelligent.

[Jackal]

Kristy,

I don't think you did anything wrong. If a man of any race tries to follow you into the parking lot in an urban area, that's just plain creepy. Trust your instincts and avoid danger. People in cities are hardasses anyway so I wouldn't worry about hurting somebody's feelings.

[Grunt]

Black males commit 70% of the violent crime in this country. Blacks are 13% of the total population and 1/2 or 7% of the population are black males.

You're best to have nothing to do with them. Especiallly some stranger who you meet in a grocery store. There's no time for Political Correctness when you're alone and by yourself and you're female with a child.

That about wraps the whole discussion up. Let the black community lower those numbers a bit, then well talk. And don't get me started on the whole white slavery issue.

[Jackal]

Black males commit 70% of the violent crime in this country.

Where did you find that number? I couldn't find an objective website that stated clearly what percentage of violent crime black males commit (I don't consider websites with names like "Racewar" or "The American Family Foundation" to be objective. lol). I haven't found that exact statistic on the Department of Justice's website. I would estimate that the number would be closer to 40 or 50%, which is still pretty bad, based upon the fact that blacks commit 55% of the homocides and about 42% of the rapes in the US.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Race_and_crime
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Crime_in_the_United_States
http://www.ojp.usdoj.gov/bjs/pub/pdf/viocrm.pdf

What you also have to consider is who the victims of these crimes are. 47% percent of homicide victims are black and about 50% of rape victims are black.

In 88% of forcible rapes, the victim and offender were of the same race. 86% of White murders are committed by Whites, and 94% of Black murders are committed by Blacks.

While young black males have the highest homicide rate, they also had the highest victimization rate (i.e. most of the time they're killing each other).

Some white people might assume that blacks who kill blacks would kill a white person just as easily, but this is just an opinion until we see real data.

[kristy_571]

Gordan...
first of all, you have a right to say what you wish. But, you do not know me as a human being. I am just some faceless internet person to you-just blank words on a computer screen. The fact however, that I am an American woman probably is igniting some anger that you feel. I am more than willing to listen to what you had to go through-in a nonjudgemental manner. However, I kindly ask that you refrain from making sexual comments towards me. For the record, I am not attracted to African American men, and there was nothing sexual in the advice I was asking Winston.

Thanks.

[kristy_571]

But relocating is a difficult prospect. The trick is to figure out how.

Ask around on websites like these, try to find out about women in certain countries, do some cultural exploring, and save every penny you can to get out of the US. That might be a start.

PS: Also figure out what jobs you can get overseas with your education. There are tons of US Expatriats all over the world.
Alot of you guys here are pretty well educated, so I should not see a problem with you all being able to find a good job overseas.

[Enishi]

The minute I finish college (maybe even before if I sign up for a study abroad program), I'm getting out of the US. I'm extremely pessimistic about this countries future. Also, I never cared much for American culture anyway. Southern neighborhoods is about as authentic as you can get in that regard, most everything else of interest has been imported from other countries, or grew out of pre-existing European cultures.

[Jackal]

Who occupies most of the prison population Sherlock? Blacks and hispanics Holmes. I don't need to state any statistics. Open a newspaper or open your f***ing eyes around you. You believe too much of the media which likes to lie to the population. Until we see real data? Where did you grow up? I'd really like to know. You are so stupid I'm really wondering about you.

Gordan, I enjoyed some of your older posts, but now you're clearly too full of anger to talk about anything in a mature and logical way.

On the one hand, you encourage me to open a newspaper (one product of the news media), and, on the other hand, you tell me to distrust the media. You like statistics--or in many cases, unverified numbers--that agree with your viewpoint, but you refuse to consider any others.

Anyway, I was citing national statistics which seem to suggest that blacks commit half or less than half of the violent crime in the US. If you want to suggest that the personel at the Department of Justice are "liberal" or "biased", then you are free to do so, but DOJ is one of the few objective websites with national crime statistics.

Black males commit 70% of the violent crime in this country.

Gmm567's quote referred to the national percentage of blacks who commit violent crimes. This what we've all been talking about; I'm not debating crime statistics in your region, which is a small part of the national average.

Clearly, there is great variation in the amount of crime found in different regions of the US. You may well live in a high crime area where the percentage of blacks that commit violent crimes is above the national average, but not all regions of the US are like that.

Who occupies most of the prison population Sherlock? Blacks and hispanics Holmes

Ah, that is where I suspected Gmm567 have gotten his "70%" from. Yes indeed, blacks make up 70% of our prison population in the US. But this doesn't tell you what percentage of them committed violent crimes. How many of them are just in prison for theft, drug posession, or DUI? We can't tell from these numbers. We need more data to say anything legitimate.

However, Gordan, you've clearly stated how uninterested you are in objective statistics or other people's point of view. However, I pray that you will eventually purify your mind, which is now distorted by anger, and find true peace.

[gmm567]

The numbers come from the Department of Justice.

Here's how you tease out the facts from the statistics:

1) Violent crimes are those crimes where there is violence against a person. Murder, Armed Robbery, Rape, Aggravated Assault. These are category 1 crimes.

2) Blacks commit about 50% of the murders, rapes and aggravated assualts. About 70% of the armed robberies.

3) The rape statistics do not inculde the rapes that go on in prisions against other prisoners. 70% of the inmates in our prisons are blacks. So who is doing the raping in prisons? You can add another 30% to the rape statistics that is accorded to blacks.

4) Armed robberies are often accompanied by an assualt--in about 30% of all cases there is an assault--pistol wip, etc. Those assaults are not added to the aggravated assault statistics. You can add those numbers to the assualt numbers accorded to blacks.

5) Add up all the numbers. What is the total percentage of category 1 crimes commited by blacks--about 70%

And Black males are about 5% of the population--Black males that is between the ages of 15-35 --who are the ones committing all these crimes.

[Jackal]

The numbers come from the Department of Justice.

Here's how you tease out the facts from the statistics:

1) Violent crimes are those crimes where there is violence against a person. Murder, Armed Robbery, Rape, Aggravated Assault. These are category 1 crimes.

2) Blacks commit about 50% of the murders, rapes and aggravated assualts. About 70% of the armed robberies.

3) The rape statistics do not inculde the rapes that go on in prisions against other prisoners. 70% of the inmates in our prisons are blacks. So who is doing the raping in prisons? You can add another 30% to the rape statistics that is accorded to blacks.

4) Armed robberies are often accompanied by an assualt--in about 30% of all cases there is an assault--pistol wip, etc. Those assaults are not added to the aggravated assault statistics. You can add those numbers to the assualt numbers accorded to blacks.

5) Add up all the numbers. What is the total percentage of category 1 crimes commited by blacks--about 70%

And Black males are about 5% of the population--Black males that is between the ages of 15-35 --who are the ones committing all these crimes.

Thanks for revealing the source of your data and your methods. As in any analysis, some estimation is involved, so it's possible that the number could be more around 60%. But this still shows that many African American males (but not all of them) commit a large portion of the crimes in America, which I never disputed. I was just curious about the origin of the "70%."

However, we also shouldn't forget that blacks are often the victims of crime as well (as I described in a previous post).

Anyway, Gmm567, thank you for replying in a such a calm and civilized way. Others on this forum could learn a lot from you.