To Winston: The great Out-of-Taiwan migration

Falcon · Post by **Falcon** » January 14th, 2013, 5:28 pm

Once upon a time, some ancient Austronesians got sick and tired of Taiwan.

They could have sat around and screamed:
"TAIWAN SUCKS! ARGH!"

All right, maybe they did. But not for long.

There were no airplanes back then. They couldn't hop on China Airlines or Philippine Airlines, nor could they enjoy some relaxing taxi rides to the airport (teehee).

So, they made their own dugout canoes through backbreaking work. (Below: Taiwanese aborigines with their dugout canoes.)

So leaving their old relatives behind (the ancestors of today's Taiwanese aborigines), they made the most spectacular pre-Columbian human migration ever done by sea. They took their families, animals, seeds, and most importantly, their love for pioneering and adventure.

So they arrived in the Philippines. The result? They had plenty of descendants, who today are quite lovely, happy people.

But unfortunately, some of their descendants too got sick and tired of the Philippines.

They could have sat around and screamed:
"THE PHILIPPINES SUCKS! ARGH!"
"WHO COULD BEAR THE WEATHER AND THE NASTY STUFF HERE! GAH!"

All right, maybe they did. But not for long.

They got their a** on a boat again and rowed over to lovely Indonesia. Yet another successful story. These happy kids are the descendants of those intrepid pioneers.

And some others got even sicker and more tired of Indonesia than ever before. So they rowed on to Madagascar, New Guinea, New Zealand, Hawaii, Easter Island, and even South America.

Perhaps our esteemed Winston Wu should make himself a dugout canoe and row over to the Philippines, using nighttime constellations as a navigation guide. Just imagine this handsome, feisty, free-thinking warrior canoeing his way out of Taiwan.

Oh wait, the airplane has now been invented. Almost forgot about that.

Instead, maybe we should buy him a plane ticket, and drag him off to the airport kicking and screaming.

And Winnie shall live happily ever after.

Recap:

eurobrat · Post by **eurobrat** » January 14th, 2013, 5:32 pm

Rock · Post by **Rock** » January 14th, 2013, 8:57 pm

Great stuff! You are creative, clever, and would be a talented and inspirational teacher.

BTW, I had to pick-up someone at the bus station this morning and while waiting, I witnessed a kicking and screaming Haitian women being forcibly put on a bus leaving the country (to Port Au Prince) by a group of people (presumably family or friends). This made me think, maybe Winston needs the same kind of tough love.

I know where he lives and I'm sure his parents would like to see him Happier outside of Taiwan. So if a few volunteers from the forum would come to Taiwan and Winston's parents would cooperate by purchasing a ticket in advance to some city in China, we could pay him a surprise visit, and carry him into the car and force to at least check-in at the airport. I even know where he keeps his Taibao Zheng and passport (right next to his computer). After he left, we could all head to Taipei to try our luck at meeting some of the locals along with Monkro.

Falcon · Post by **Falcon** » January 14th, 2013, 10:52 pm

Rock wrote:Great stuff! You are creative, clever, and would be a talented and inspirational teacher.

Thanks, perfect! I will need to add this to "The Most Unique and Freethinking Asian", "10 Uncommon and Outstanding Things", "Quotes and Praises", "References from Third Party Sources", "Praises and Testimonials", "Hero, Inspiration and Legend", "Testimonials", "Biography", and a host of other awesome pages.

http://www.happierabroad.com/AboutMe.htm

Rock wrote:I know where he lives and I'm sure his parents would like to see him Happier outside of Taiwan. So if a few volunteers from the forum would come to Taiwan and Winston's parents would cooperate by purchasing a ticket in advance to some city in China, we could pay him a surprise visit, and carry him into the car and force to at least check-in at the airport. I even know where he keeps his Taibao Zheng and passport (right next to his computer). After he left, we could all head to Taipei to try our luck at meeting some of the locals along with Monkro.

Since talking him into things doesn't work, we will now turn to the use of stealthy commando raids.

Let's do it. I'm in. Invite Momopi, Xiongmao, Monkro, and possibly Ginger too.

Not sure if this should be discussed out in the open.

Falcon · Post by **Falcon** » February 22nd, 2013, 9:33 pm

Seems like this article had worked wonders. Winston is now in the Philippines!

By the way, I'd like to know how all that canoeing went.

eurobrat · Post by **eurobrat** » February 23rd, 2013, 1:07 am

***JP*** · Post by ***JP*** » February 23rd, 2013, 2:17 am

eurobrat wrote:
Falcon wrote:Seems like this article had worked wonders. Winston is now in the Philippines!

By the way, I'd like to know how all that canoeing went.
Damn I never got the chance to visit him and throw his a** on a plane. Oh we'll maybe the opportunity will pop up again.

wil

Maybe when he wants to go to Russia to search for Marina you will have your chance to chuck him in the plane. Lol

Jester · Post by **Jester** » February 23rd, 2013, 2:29 pm

Falcon wrote:Seems like this article had worked wonders. Winston is now in the Philippines!

By the way, I'd like to know how all that canoeing went.

Falcon, got to give you +10 for a great OP and a great thread.

Well done!

eurobrat · Post by **eurobrat** » February 23rd, 2013, 7:29 pm

Banano · Post by **Banano** » February 24th, 2013, 2:01 am

His parents are probably throwing a party, changing the locks or planning to move to another place he will hate more than taiwan when he returns lol

nice one...Yea, Winston it was about time..normaly parents are sad when their son leaves home

xiongmao · Post by **xiongmao** » February 24th, 2013, 5:04 am

I wonder if he will come to China next? Well assuming the Laotians move out, it seems like I'll have a couple of spare beds although who knows if I'm allowed guests. Actually I found a hotel here for only 100RMB a night - that's half the price I was paying for rent back home.

I thought Winston lived in the basement - did his parents actually know he lived there?

Jester · Post by **Jester** » February 24th, 2013, 11:49 pm

eurobrat wrote:
Falcon wrote:Seems like this article had worked wonders. Winston is now in the Philippines!

By the way, I'd like to know how all that canoeing went.
His parents are probably throwing a party, changing the locks or planning to move to another place he will hate more than taiwan when he returns lol

Falcon · Post by **Falcon** » July 7th, 2013, 11:42 pm

Jester wrote:
eurobrat wrote:His parents are probably throwing a party, changing the locks or planning to move to another place he will hate more than taiwan when he returns lol

Prophecy fulfilled. Las Vegas it is.