I can see why fschimt put you on ignore.... Are you an ENFP by any chance? Or are you an ISFJ?C.J. wrote:Nothing wrong with abiding by the law. However if you want REAL power over yourself and influence over humans, you'll have to live said lifestyle. You cannot indulge/splurge your life away if you want true success. We just want two different things. I'm done with sex right now, because there are only negative effects beside your chemical imbalance making you happy. Once the time comes where you can't bang your health away, you'll see me in a lot of beds.kai1275 wrote:Great. You are a Buddhist or something else combined and a capitalist and I am semi-capitalist Christian. Two different ideologies I guess. I cannot live a monk-like lifestyle like you and some of the others like that. If you can great, more power to you.
I only get what I need, I only buy food and drinks. I also use the money I get to buy what I need to develop projects. I don't get worthless electronics if I can't code with them. When I'm done, I just sell them for extra cash. For example, I only have an Xbox 360 and a TV in my apartment, because I code games with them and get paid. The only games I play on the console are the ones I test. Otherwise it collects dust. When I'm done with coding Xbox 360 games, I'm gonna sell the system and TV. But I've made so much money from it and still making money, you think I'm gonna throw it away now?Repatriate wrote:If the U.S. works for you then that's fine it's not a condemnation either way. Not all of us are prepared to live life as a eunuch in solitude surrounded by material possessions and distractions. I really don't feel MGOTW is compatible with the central focus of happierabroad even though the opinions are welcome.
To me NY is a soulless overpriced city filled with hipsters, bankers, and entertainment people trying to cling onto whatever is cool. Plus the Chinese food there pales in comparison with what can be found on the west coast. It only gets hyped because it's NY. Everything in NY is unauthentic.
Less you want blah blah blah. I don't get distracted by the daily detritus of the west. You can know what's happening by reading 3 news stories a week. I don't care about the people. Social status and validation doesn't matter to me, because most people in the west are stupid fools, as well as most of the east. They have nothing to offer in a meaningful conversation. The only people who would be worth it for me to talk to are Russians/North Koreans/Chinese military, as well as any racial pride groups in the west. Regardless of which public opinion that you choose to follow, they all have way more interesting and heated things to say.
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What's your story? Discussions your reasons for going abroad.
See the posts below I made earlier before you wrote this reply. Utterly predictable.... Not only does it scream "insecure" but it's rife with poor logical reasoning. You do not fear actual changes, you actually fear your wife herself! Just because you cannot trust yours does not mean everyone else has that problem or will even have it.
INTJ. Read up on it. It explains a lot about me, which to some can be negative qualities, but also awesome qualities.
Unfortunately, the jew fschmidt can't handle anyone who isn't a jew having a holier-than-thou attitude/planet-sized ego. When you know your priorities and take the right steps and smack-dab blow right through them with your natural talents, you tend to be a little arrogant. Also, when you realize your true human nature, you grow up and tend to realize a lot of so-called "truths" in the world are really big ass lies, regardless of the exceptions presented.
fschmidt is delusional. He would rather sweep issues under the rug, than confront them head-on. I thought that being a jew, of "the chosen race", that he'd be happy to tout his superiority over us "goyim"! I'm more of a jew than he is, and I'm not even of the race at all!
Those who know me think of me as more of a strategist, a sage who dispenses practical advice on how to solve any problem, even when I don't know the answer. Those who don't think of me as abrasive and mechanical.
If you've only been married to an Asian girl for a few months, it's probably not the brightest move to bring her to the US. If you've been with her for years, she's not 22 years old, and your relationship is stable, I don't see a problem with it. If a relationship is going to fold, it's going to fold. I agree with Kai in that if you're so insecure you think your wife is going to do a runner or hook up with someone else, you shouldn't be married to her in the first place. Will they be influenced? Most definitely. But my wife's already influenced by me simply by association and to some extent, vice-versa.
In some ways this is a good thing, in some ways not. But the bottom line is that EVERY woman will be a pain in the ass at some point. And she'll view you as a pain in the ass as well. But whether she bails, f***s around, gets pissed because you won't take her to the lake, or whatever, this is determined by what sort of person she really is. This is something to figure out before getting married, not after. If you can't trust her then why get married at all?
Here's the thing, if you're dating way above your perceived league than it could be a rocky road ahead of you in the U.S. A lot of guys straight exaggerate the quality of the girl they are with anyhow. They might actually be just an average asian girl but they pump her up as an 8 because she doesn't look like a pear shaped white woman. In the U.S. she might be considered slightly above average but your average Joes in most cases won't be tripping over their dicks getting to her.
However, if she's a true beauty..a bonafide 7+ and you're a sloppy dude and it's really apparent she's out of your league a lot of guys are going to disrespect you and her openly and privately. They are going to go hard at her 24-7 until something does crack. There are enough "high" status guys in America to make her day if she does finally give in and the temptation will always be there. It's not insecurity but just the way things work in America.
Where is the spirit of adventure? Think about what people did just two hundred years ago. They took ships for years sometimes just to get to where they wanted to go. They traveled by wagon train. Maybe some of them griped but they didn't have anywhere near the modern conveniences we enjoy today. Nowadays people are pussies.
In the next year or so I'm going to Africa, Pakistan and India and several other places to photograph some hairy shit. I'll also be going to Myanmar again plus the standards - Singapore, Cambodia, Indo. Hopefully, I'll be able to spend a couple of months in Africa and at least a month or two in Pakistan and India. Do these places suck? In some ways, definitely, but f***ing A man, I want a bit of adrenaline in life, not to sit back and think about whether or not it's better here or there. Even the wife is game for living elsewhere and traveling abroad but we can't do it until our kids are in university.
With regards to making money...in most cases it takes a little money (a little) to make money. A little might only be $1000 or it might be none. I've done several things while living here and everything has worked out. Was I worried I might have to go home? Hell yes. A year into my first trip I ran out of money, bought a one way ticket back to the US, and promptly found a job on a fishing boat a la The Deadliest Catch. I worked for 10 weeks, went to Thailand for a month or so, flew back, worked one more tour, and haven't been back since. I've made money several different ways - if you're hungry enough and are motivated, it can be done.
Xiongmao, I've said this to you before but...how long have you been here? A couple of months? Have you learned any Thai yet? When I read your posts I sometimes I think I'm listening to a little old lady griping about the price of stamps. You write about things you know fuckall about...and now, after a short few months abroad, you're actually contemplating hanging it up and going home?
First, I think you're going about things all wrong (or almost all wrong). Comparing prices to other countries is a waste of time. You're not living in China or the US, you're now living in Thailand. Make due with what you have in the country you're living in. That's all that matters. If rice costs $30 a kilo and you want rice, comparing prices doesn't do a bit of good. You either pay or you don't or you import.
You're still a complete newbie to Thailand and this has nothing to do with my own time here...it has more to do with you continually meeting bad women (many are hooking on the side) and your mentality towards living here. Game or not, by now you should have met a couple that you could at least be friends with and who could help you network.
You made the choice to live abroad, don't bitch about it. If you wanna bitch, then why not go home? At least you'll be bitching at home and you can still say, "I used to live in Thailand and China."
Also, if you change your mindset to moving abroad is an adventure, sink or swim, you'll have a much easier time than if you're worried about mosquitoes and meeting quality women. Whatever happens, happens. Mosquitoes can be a problem but they're found all over the world. I contracted Dengue Fever and while it sucks, most people get well. I did. Again, it sucks, but it's part of life.
Personally, I don't necessarily think dating abroad is head and shoulders better than dating in the U.S. Say what you want about times changing and my being old but I used to date and screw chicks all the time and I usually only had a motorcycle - no car. Not only did I have to get them to go out with me, many times I had to convince them to drive or to go on the bike with me. It was only when I reached 30 that I started making good money and I had a girlfriend at the time...
BTW - what solid evidence are you referring to on your blog?
Dude, you're totally clueless.
Why do you give a shit? Who do you live for? If people don't like it, f**k em. You don't owe anyone a f***ing explanation.
You say the reality of Thailand is way, way different but yet you complain about "good girls" hooking on the side. Those aren't good girls and much like InnovatorsClub, I don't think you'd know a good girl if she bit you on the ass then held up a bonafide certificate of authenticity.
Instead of always thinking about the women, think about doing other things. The women will come...or cum. If you're always thinking about them they smell this and don't want anything to do with you...especially Thai women.
So now you're not interested in Thai women? You are seriously turning out to be a lame Beta male. Grow a nutsack pal and understand something - you haven't experienced shit, at least in Thailand. Your a week-old baby and you need to grow some hair on your willy. Then you'll see what Thailand really has to offer.
I say the above things with the intent to wake YOU the f**k up. You're so lost that it's pathetic. Find your way back, find a hobby, see the sights outside of Bangkok and outside of whoring zones...and learn the language! You expect the women to fall at your feet or opportunities to present themselves but you're ill-prepared.
I always appreciate opposing viewpoints, so I congratulate Xiongmao for writing this up. Forums shouldn't always be completely one-sided.
I also value AnAmericanInBangkok's replies. Cranky, but straight to the point and brutally honest.
There's no definitive answer or solution to the "where is better" question. As Momopi said, it's all subjective, not objective. It's your choice, your call, and at the very end, only YOU are going to make it happen.
Xiongmao, i have to agree with AmericaninBangkok. I've read your many posts with great interest, but many of your comments are just way off base. Guangzhou is not that bad of a place and it's just 2 hours from Hong Kong, where you can get most of your western fixes that a person could need. The most obvious one is how much you complain about the food in GZ, when it is near 100% identical to the food in Bangkok (ok i mainly eat at buffet style places in both locations), but GZ has quite a bit of options and is known for having good food. I ate well in GZ, there are some great restaurants, great supermarket, great street food, so I KNOW, that your comments are off base.
Your commentary on Kuala Lumpur was also extremely different from what i experienced. I felt that KL was extremely clean and modern. Of course, i stayed near Bukit Bintang-- the heart of the city and not in chinatown.
Honestly, it sounds like you are not very experienced with traveling and are not used to things outside the UK. I recommend that you go back to the UK for awhile, and you'll eventually get the itch back. Adjusting to the tropics can take several tries.
Perhaps, Asia is not for you. You could also try Latin America (high crime) or Eastern Europe (dreary environment and weather), but it really depends what your priorities and prefernces are, and how high you prioritize women.
Finally, you might also try another location than Bangkok in Thailand-- like chiang mai or better yet a more unknown city.
I have to agree with many of the comments here. That America is boring. Even if you found the perfect wife, America is boring. All you have to look forward to is working and building your life around your wife and kids. Socializing after the age of 30 or so in America is generally boring. It is not Brazil, where people love to socialize and be happy. Another big issue i have with America is that it is hard to make male and female friend after 30. Guy friends are too busy or distant and women you can only really date.
Its great to see different views but no need to be harsh towards each other, after all everyones experience is different
My experience in BKK is that people/girls are not that open or friendly as some people like to describe them, people are as cliquish as anywhere else, I didn't see great deal of interaction between Thais themselves(unless they know each other).
many foreigner will say that American people are friendly bc they smile all the time...its all all fake, same with Thais, same same BUT different
Having ONS or casual sex with non p4p is not as common as some people think, they usually want $$ or commitment or promise of commitment.
AMin BKK and xiongmao should meet up for drink
Ah a Natural Scientist. Makes more sense now. I need to work on my typewatching skills better! I will admit, I took wild guesses on only 2 things I saw in you and that is usually never good enough. CIA and other typewatchers strive for a bare minimum of 5 at least.
My wife and I are not that new to each other. It's probably impossible to bring someone to the US that quickly anyway. If I wanted to get technical about it, my wife and I technically been married at least a year, if you take out the legally married in the US part. We know each other very very well. She and I both love laughing at silly trolls like this. She is a moderator and lead advisor for forum that mostly includes women doing basically the same thing we did.
There are many women that are staying with men far far worse than I am and leaving is not even an option in their brains. Combination of face/shame and many other factors. I get to hear all the personal dramas of these Chinese K1 and K2 visa women via my wife. Some of them are still in China while many others are now in the US. Chinese women have different mentality and values systems than, lets say a Latino woman does for example. Something that might make one of those leave a man, is literally a non-factor for a typical Chinese woman.
I could keep any woman I marry regardless. Maybe that makes me different than other men here, but I never have those kinds of problems others like to fear monger with. Also I fully understood the culture of the woman I married, in some situations I understood certain Chinese culture requirements better than she did. I also speak the language. I can spot a green card chaser in a few minutes or less. I have dated many Chinese women and I have seen just about every stereotype chick there is to offer from there. I never tried to marry a pro. I stayed away from bars and KTV when looking for a wife. I did my research just like you did yours. I have an AW for an ex-wife for years, got the debts to prove it. Been there, done that. I've done business with China for years too. Just like you did business in Thailand and other Asian countries. That is why you and I can write guides on this shit.
Regardless of our experiences, just like you said, if these women have issues like that, they had them before you got married to them. What you see is what you get! One of the reasons I chose my wife is because she can handle living anywhere! That includes the US. My wife has weaknesses just like anyone else does. If anything, our relationship depends upon me ending it if anything. The shit these fearmongers claim is not one of them.
There is a reason why Chinese people like making Chinatowns everywhere too. They suck at integrating with other cultures. That is good and bad in certain ways for sure, but for me, it suits me just fine. Even ABC Chinese do not always assimilate into American culture in the first generation. I like Chinese culture because I share much of the same ideology. As far as family is concerned, it's perfect. She has seen some of the things Americans do to school their children and she is shocked and feels that we need to make sure we are more strict on those things and protect them from that. It brings a smile to my face every time. She and I are always on the same page. If anyone is going to become "americanized" it might be your kids once they grow up to at least teenager stage. Once they are grown, that is their business, none of yours.
Many guys here in the US can have what I have too. Listening to fearmongers with "suspect as hell" agendas, is not going to help them. There are many English teachers and other expats that married a Chinese wife, moved back to the US and none I have spoke to or read blogs from regret anything about it. Hell my immigration lawyer Lee Solomon has a Chinese wife he got via the K1 Visa and he wrote a book about the whole thing. Anytime I speak with him, you can see the happiness in him. Usually talking to a rich high power lawyer feels tense, but not with him. Here is a link to his book below. I should have added this to my guide......
http://www.amazon.com/Price-Too-Great-L ... 1598588400
QFT! We have been over this in another thread before with SkateboardStephen. You should never get a Ferrari if you cannot handle that horsepower! If a guy is a 3-5, unless you have tons of money or fame, leave the 10's alone! Hell, leave the ones with diva personalities alone! You went abroad, do not get the most Westernized FW you can find! Just because she might speak perfect English, is a shitty excuse and reason! They are using you! Guys need to stay in their lanes. The minute you take a mis-matched woman back to the US, if you lose her, you only have yourself to blame for that.
Ahem! Is it THE Scientist to you! Muahahahahahaha
Heard INTJs were pretty rare. Which makes them even more awesome.
These MBTI types are pretty cool. Really insightful.