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Why Not Just Stay Home?!

What's your story? Discussions your reasons for going abroad.

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Why Not Just Stay Home?!

Postby The_Adventurer » Sun Dec 01, 2013 8:23 am

More and more we are seeing these posts about life isn't so rosy abroad. We are seeing people write of their personal failures and some even concluding that most western men can never be happier abroad. Some are even contemplating getting into PUA or other means to vakidate themselves at home.

Going abroad is not for everyone, this is true, and it is certainly not for those who make their decisions or give up after six months and only two countries. I have been out here over five years, in four different countries. I even lived in seven different states over the years back in the USA. I think I have some perspective.

Would I be happier back home? NO WAY! Are some things better back home? Certainly. Every country I have visited has advantages and disadvantages. For me, many of the things which are better back home simply aren't that important to my quality of life...

Assuming back home is always best? That's just BS an arrogant. Korea and Japan are, for example, years ahead of the USA or England when it comes to internet and technology. That's important to me and my business. 2D animation is all but DEAD in the USA and England, but it rules the roost in Asia. That's also important for how I make my money. And, yes, for me the girls have been much better, all over Asia, even in Japan and Korea, than in the USA, as is ALL family life and human interaction. So there is NO POSSIBILITY of me being happier at home.

Why are you going abroad? What are you looking for? Also, what are you escaping from by leaving home? For me this was all too easy a question to answer. I worked in VFX and animation in the USA. I always worked for big studios. I made great money, usually six figures. I also worked 10 - 14 hours per day and had no life. I also had no interest in talking animals, 3D Animation and B monster flicks. I grew up on comics and later anime and knew exactly what I wanted to do. Unfortunately, that stuff was all happening in Asia. In Asia there was even an indie scene where a creator could make their own original show and make money! It was a no brainer for me, and off I went.

My first destination was the Philippines. When I arrived, I felt such a freedom that I had never experienced before. I didn't have to work 10 - 14 hours per day anymore. In fact, it was so cheap to live there I didn't have to work AT ALL for weeks and I wouldn't end up in the streets. I had time to THINK. I could plan my projects. I could create my own road. Was it noisy? Did many places smell bad? Did beggars bother me? Was there plenty of bad food? SURE! Do you think I cared?! NO!!! I was free at last. No more 9 to 5. No one else controlling my life. My time was mine!

Korea and Japan have the best of technology, gadgets and internet. The way it should be. Were it not for the expense, I would have loved to setup shop there. It was more difficult to keep my freedom though. Who knows? One day when my business growth is enough, I may return to one of those places. I fear radiation though.

China seems to have the best overall picture. Maybe not in Shanghai or Guangzhou, but where I live, in a small country town, people are laid back and friendly like in Philippines, but the tech is still pretty good. On the Tablet PC on which I am now writing, I could video chat with a freind in the US while on top of a mountain in the middle of nowhere! I also discovered how much I love gorgeous nature scenery, which some of the other places are lacking. It is hard to beat China for that. I wish it didn't get so cold in winter though.

NO PLACE IS PERFECT. So what are you looking for? What are you looking to get away from?
“b***y is so strong that there are dudes willing to blow themselves up for the highly unlikely possibility of b***y in another dimension." -- Joe Rogan
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Postby Maverick » Sun Dec 01, 2013 9:34 am

Awesome post man! Definitely inspirational!

I'll be heading out your way once my military contract runs out (in a couple of years).
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Postby zboy1 » Sun Dec 01, 2013 9:49 am

Great Post, Adventurer! Yes, every country has its advantages and disadvantages, but would I ever contemplate heading back to the U.S. ever again? Hell No!!!!!

As for those people who are comfortable living in the USA: living abroad is not for everyone! So if you're happy in the States, then I see no reason to go and live overseas--unless you're abroad only for sightseeing or on vacation. Different people prefer different things, so we (as a HA community) should embrace all types, whether that be 'happier-at-home' or 'happier-abroad.'
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Postby magnum » Sun Dec 01, 2013 9:53 am

having only been out of country to china twice, I probably don't have the most to share but I'll post this anyway...I lost a lot in a short amount of time.


If you've read any of my posts you know what going abroad cost me, more than just money, but time health and more.


I would do it again, after two trips from china I can't even speak the language, I'm horrible with that sort of thing no aptitude at all, but I would spend my entire life trying, because it's worth it despite how difficult it is.


Being laid back and hooked to facebook and tv with no desire to explore experience life or meet women or in the minimal make a attempt at communicating to one, then stay the hell in America because it's forged for the zombies you are.

But I 100% bet my soul if your in it for real, and you like being out of country you'll find a way to make it work....because it's wroth it, worth it to do what they said you couldn't, worth it to do what others wont accept as a possibility because they themselves don't have the integrity or will power to attempt...people being the fallen creatures they are don't want to see you succeed and even less see you do it doing something politically incorrect that's out of most peoples comfort zones, but they sure are quick to envy it despite best efforts to play it down.


So if your a half ass and want a easy way out stay the hell in your own half ass country.

But if your willing to work hard and put up with temporary discomforts adjust and keep a open mind and heart, you might juts find the happiness abroad so few have had the courage to find.
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Postby mguy » Sun Dec 01, 2013 10:09 am

I think you really must want it, so that you must find a reason to sustain yourself. I think when overseas is when the battle really starts.

http://3rdworldhero.blogspot.com/2013/1 ... nning.html
"So never refuse an invitation, never resist the unfamiliar, never fail to be polite and never outstay the welcome. Just keep your mind open and suck in the experience. And if it hurts, you know what? It's probably worth it."

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Postby C.J. » Sun Dec 01, 2013 10:26 am

It's great to see so many of you being happier abroad. I'm dispassionately happy for all of you. :)

However many of you feel superior to others for wasting time as a sex tourist. All I can say is that I hope you move on from it, as there's much more to life than f***ing sows. It's but a detour at best.
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Postby tre » Sun Dec 01, 2013 10:40 am

C.J. wrote:It's great to see so many of you being happier abroad. I'm dispassionately happy for all of you. :)

However many of you feel superior to others for wasting time as a sex tourist. All I can say is that I hope you move on from it, as there's much more to life than f***ing sows. It's but a detour at best.


^^^THIS:). I feel the same way. I want to go for a better way of life. I have already been abroad and I know/accept the additional challenges for the additional benefits. Having sex with women is just a very small part of being satisfied in life and moving abroad ONLY for that is foolish IMO.
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Postby magnum » Sun Dec 01, 2013 11:05 am

I agree 100% with the sex tourism comment.
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Postby navigator » Sun Dec 01, 2013 11:55 am

"Why are you going abroad? What are you looking for? Also, what are you escaping from by leaving home?"


These are all good questions that every man should ask himself before leaving his home country.

In my case, I am searching for a place that offers a healthier social environment and more pleasant women. I would also like to maximize my desirability by living in a part of the world where my features (light skin and blue eyes) are sought out. Preferably in a country that isn't a magnet for white males so that I can stand out and have even more "exotic" appeal amongst the local women. This would hopefully increase my chances of landing a higher-quality woman and having higher-quality children. I would like to provide my future children with genetic and environmental advantages. I've already gone over the genetic component, so let me talk a little more about the environmental part. There is no way that I would want my future children to grow up in a toxic social environment like America. I realize that no culture is perfect, but I do believe there still exist places where people are more respectful, honorable, and civilized. For my sake and the sake of my future children, it is imperative that I settle down in such a place.

There are other reasons for wanting to live abroad, such as the chance to enjoy unique experiences and a lower cost-of-living. But those reasons are secondary. Women and culture are my primary reasons for wanting to escape America.
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Postby xiongmao » Wed Dec 04, 2013 5:57 am

I started Happier Back Home to blog some of the crazy stuff I've seen abroad. I need to add some more stuff I've been collecting. Most of my stuff is pretty mundane, but I hope I get across the message that there are enough annoying things in any country. The grass isn't necessarily greener overseas.

As to if I'm happier abroad, well after 9 months on the road I say I'm pretty much the same happy as I was at home. Some things are great here, like it being December but the coldest it's been in Bangkok is 21C. At night.

Now I can be productive here, whereas soon after Christmas back home I'd be fighting colds, and even getting to work is often a major challenge.

The big danger is being unhappy at home, then coming to a place like Thailand. Farang suicides are very common here. If you had troubles at home, don't expect to sort them out here.
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Postby 46wisdom » Wed Dec 04, 2013 6:07 am

xiongmao wrote:I started Happier Back Home to blog some of the crazy stuff I've seen abroad. I need to add some more stuff I've been collecting. Most of my stuff is pretty mundane, but I hope I get across the message that there are enough annoying things in any country. The grass isn't necessarily greener overseas.

As to if I'm happier abroad, well after 9 months on the road I say I'm pretty much the same happy as I was at home. Some things are great here, like it being December but the coldest it's been in Bangkok is 21C. At night.

Now I can be productive here, whereas soon after Christmas back home I'd be fighting colds, and even getting to work is often a major challenge.

The big danger is being unhappy at home, then coming to a place like Thailand. Farang suicides are very common here. If you had troubles at home, don't expect to sort them out here.





Could you elaborate more? Let me tell you something really quickly and then you tell me if you think this might have anything to do with.

If you go without sex than sex will become very important to you, so much so you might start thinking about girls sitting on your face and all kinds of strange things like this :-)

However, if you have regular sex than sex actually isn't that big of deal, and it's just a part of life, not something you dwell on all the time and not needing for a girl to sit on your face :-)

So, my question is, do you think this might have something to do with what you're talking about? I mean at home you don't have a girl, but in Thailand you do, but Thailand isn't your home, your culture, you don't speak Thai and therefore are left out in many ways. So while you satisfy the need for sex you still feel a bit more comfortable at home?

Maybe you really should try the Philippines? They speak English and maybe you might feel more in tune with the place.

But what do you really like about the Thailand what do you really hate? Maybe give a list of 5 things each?
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Postby 46wisdom » Wed Dec 04, 2013 6:23 am

xiongmao wrote:I started Happier Back Home to blog some of the crazy stuff I've seen abroad. I need to add some more stuff I've been collecting. Most of my stuff is pretty mundane, but I hope I get across the message that there are enough annoying things in any country. The grass isn't necessarily greener overseas.

As to if I'm happier abroad, well after 9 months on the road I say I'm pretty much the same happy as I was at home. Some things are great here, like it being December but the coldest it's been in Bangkok is 21C. At night.

Now I can be productive here, whereas soon after Christmas back home I'd be fighting colds, and even getting to work is often a major challenge.

The big danger is being unhappy at home, then coming to a place like Thailand. Farang suicides are very common here. If you had troubles at home, don't expect to sort them out here.



Also with respect to men committing suicide there, do you have any coherent theories as to why this may occur? I mean, why Thailand? Why not the Philippines? Or some other country? Why is it Thailand that all these guys are hanging from ropes and with their hands tied behind their backs and with suicide notes? :shock:

And why do the swan dive off all the buildings? I mean, why Thailand? Why not someplace else?

Here is a wild theory to get it started.

1. They really didn't commit suicide, they were killed and then the police manufactured a suicide note, and they were drugged often times to push them out of the buildings.

If this be not true then there seems to be some sort of phenomenon going on in Thailand that doesn't exist anywhere else in the world, do you have any idea what this phenomenon is? Or is my original theory correct?
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Postby The_Adventurer » Wed Dec 04, 2013 6:49 am

46wisdom wrote:
Also with respect to men committing suicide there, do you have any coherent theories as to why this may occur? I mean, why Thailand? Why not the Philippines? Or some other country? Why is it Thailand that all these guys are hanging from ropes and with their hands tied behind their backs and with suicide notes? :shock:

And why do the swan dive off all the buildings? I mean, why Thailand? Why not someplace else?

Here is a wild theory to get it started.

1. They really didn't commit suicide, they were killed and then the police manufactured a suicide note, and they were drugged often times to push them out of the buildings.

If this be not true then there seems to be some sort of phenomenon going on in Thailand that doesn't exist anywhere else in the world, do you have any idea what this phenomenon is? Or is my original theory correct?


The way I always heard it is that Thailand is truly the adult Disney Land. Many of these men get there and are blown out of their minds. They may quit their jobs back home, and even burn bridges with family back home. They bet the farm on trying to stay there. Soon "vacation mode" comes to an end and the financial realities of their mistake become apparent. Return home a broken failure, or live on the street as a bum in Thailand. That's assuming they even had the means to return home. So off the high rise they go...m
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Postby 46wisdom » Wed Dec 04, 2013 6:53 am

The_Adventurer wrote:
46wisdom wrote:
Also with respect to men committing suicide there, do you have any coherent theories as to why this may occur? I mean, why Thailand? Why not the Philippines? Or some other country? Why is it Thailand that all these guys are hanging from ropes and with their hands tied behind their backs and with suicide notes? :shock:

And why do the swan dive off all the buildings? I mean, why Thailand? Why not someplace else?

Here is a wild theory to get it started.

1. They really didn't commit suicide, they were killed and then the police manufactured a suicide note, and they were drugged often times to push them out of the buildings.

If this be not true then there seems to be some sort of phenomenon going on in Thailand that doesn't exist anywhere else in the world, do you have any idea what this phenomenon is? Or is my original theory correct?


The way I always heard it is that Thailand is truly the adult Disney Land. Many of these men get there and are blown out of their minds. They may quit their jobs back home, and even burn bridges with family back home. They bet the farm on trying to stay there. Soon "vacation mode" comes to an end and the financial realities of their mistake become apparent. Return home a broken failure, or live on the street as a bum in Thailand. That's assuming they even had the means to return home. So off the high rise they go...m




It's an interesting theory. Well it much be one whopper of a Disneyland then. I might believe something like this because I've seen some other crazy things I'd never believe unless I saw it for myself. For instance there is this guy who got a girl in a bar and then his money runs out and she is with another guy and he's depressed about it and is waiting for his money to come in again and then he can be with her again, and I'm watching in disbelief....

So I guess there are a certain group of men that this might happen to I suppose. But I still find it hard to believe :D
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Postby tre » Wed Dec 04, 2013 7:59 am

The_Adventurer wrote:
The way I always heard it is that Thailand is truly the adult Disney Land. Many of these men get there and are blown out of their minds. They may quit their jobs back home, and even burn bridges with family back home. They bet the farm on trying to stay there. Soon "vacation mode" comes to an end and the financial realities of their mistake become apparent. Return home a broken failure, or live on the street as a bum in Thailand. That's assuming they even had the means to return home. So off the high rise they go...m



I think this is likely a very common scenario. Suicide is common all over the world and you can't just deal with issues by trying to escape to some other place in the world. Problems you have in your home country will likely follow you anywhere you go unless you learn how to deal with them. If one were to come to Thailand SOLELY to find a wife, he might commit suicide upon getting scammed badly or failing in some other way. A desperate man traveling to other countries is a man skating on thin ice IMO...

HOWEVER, if a man were to go to Thailand for a better way of life...I can't see how he would be disappointed if he hated his home country environment. If he were truly invested in his move, he'd learn the language, culture and strive to experience everything in full. This goes for practically ANY country...

I think the vast majority of suicides are caused by a complete lack of HOPE. If all hope is gone...why go on? This can happen anywhere and it does...to many types of people.
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