Why I hate living in the US

[The Un-American]

I've always felt like a "fish out of water" here, and since I was a very small child I've suffered anxiety and alienation from society. I always thought it was because I was a "weirdo" because that's what I was told, and as a child I often threw violent fits because sitting in a classroom with unfriendly children for 7 hours was like pure torture to my INFP/Asperger's mind. My parents always yelled at each other and were often absent so anger, loneliness and punishment was just a normal reality to me.

I cannot adapt to the utilitarian, judgmental and cold-hearted ESTJ American culture. It just amazes me how selfish Americans are, the more and more I get to know the true colors of the people here. We are a society that would prefer mass starvation and the development of a permanent underclass over taxing the precious plutocracy a little bit more than the people who live month to month narrowing eking out an existence in this cruel nation.

We are a sadistic jeering nation that cheers at death sentences for criminals (regardless of your stance on capital punishment, you have to admit it's kinda sick to take pleasure in it) and at poor people who have terminal illnesses being denied care. I'm the kind of person that thinks even violent criminals ought to have a second chance (well, most of the time), so the idea that a perfectly kind and honest person who is incapable of working deserves to starve in the richest country in human history just doesn't make any sense to me at all. There is absolutely no excuse for America not to be able to take care of her own people, it is simply because the American populace at large is ignorant, greedy, and apologetic towards predatory corporate and elite behavior.

Hell, we even blame and hate the homeless for having the audacity to ask for spare change! I don't think I'd even want to "fit in" in the United States anymore since it would mean abandoning my values and not being true to myself.

That's another thing. In America, everyone always says "just be yourself" even though it's obvious they don't actually mean it. Whenever I speak my mind here, I am ignored or judged negatively for it.

[The Un-American]

I live on the West Coast, and despite our (largely false) reputation for being progressive and more like Europe I actually think the western part of the United States is cold and arrogant even by American standards. People think the West is tolerant and liberal simply because fewer people believe in God here, but they forget that the West is very fiscally conservative as well as very racist towards Mexican immigrants. Hell, people don't even like people from neighboring states here! There are still plenty of evangelical types too even if they aren't the majority, I mean look at Kirk Cameron. People act like California is Sweden or something but it's not even close.

People have this image of the West Coast as a green racially harmonious Kumbaya leftist utopia but seeing how impoverished, disenfranchised and angry the black community in Portland is first-hand and the racial tensions between Whites and immigrants in California I know how untrue that is. I do think the West is less "race-conscious" than the East but that's just because people generally are less caring about their neighbors and peers to begin with here. A Western neighbor probably won't care if you're black or gay like a Southerner might, but they probably won't care if your house is ablaze either.

Truth is aside from gay rights, animal rights and feminism the West Coast sides with the Right on most things. People have as much disdain for the poor, disabled, welfare recipients and homeless here as they do in the rest of America. If you don't make decent money and run the rat race you will be shunned and outcasted, even by people you viewed as being genuine and open minded. Possibly even by members of your own family who feel you are a "drain" and an "embarrassment" rather than a loved one.

I also hate how West Coast people tend to be surly and lack a sense of humour or wonder. Nobody here seems interested at all in anything you have to say, even if it's worthy of interest. And if you ask somebody a question or for help/advice, they will often give a snarky non-answer or just ignore you, as if you were violating them in some horrific way by robbing them of 5 seconds of their day. There's an all-pervasive grumpiness and no-nonsense attitude even among many of the hippie types and people seem to get offended extremely easily.

If you vent to a West Coast friend about your woes, they will generally tell you that you just need to improve your attitude, or that you are a whiner and just need to suck it up and get with the program. Having a "negative attitude" about ANYTHING will get you shunned here. It's just plain not allowed. People here can't even fathom the idea of venting to someone solely for emotional support because it's such a male-brained, Wild-West every man for himself mindset. This means that friendships tend to be quite shallow and often times a single fight can cause age-long friends to become enemies. One just gets the idea that nobody really cares about anyone else but themselves and perhaps their own family here.

[Jester]

Welcome to the forum, Un.

Whats your dream of where to go?

[GoingAwol]

I've always felt like a "fish out of water" here, and since I was a very small child I've suffered anxiety and alienation from society. I always thought it was because I was a "weirdo" because that's what I was told, and as a child I often threw violent fits because sitting in a classroom with unfriendly children for 7 hours was like pure torture to my INFP/Asperger's mind. My parents always yelled at each other and were often absent so anger, loneliness and punishment was just a normal reality to me.

I cannot adapt to the utilitarian, judgmental and cold-hearted ESTJ American culture. It just amazes me how selfish Americans are, the more and more I get to know the true colors of the people here. We are a society that would prefer mass starvation and the development of a permanent underclass over taxing the precious plutocracy a little bit more than the people who live month to month narrowing eking out an existence in this cruel nation.

We are a sadistic jeering nation that cheers at death sentences for criminals (regardless of your stance on capital punishment, you have to admit it's kinda sick to take pleasure in it) and at poor people who have terminal illnesses being denied care. I'm the kind of person that thinks even violent criminals ought to have a second chance (well, most of the time), so the idea that a perfectly kind and honest person who is incapable of working deserves to starve in the richest country in human history just doesn't make any sense to me at all. There is absolutely no excuse for America not to be able to take care of her own people, it is simply because the American populace at large is ignorant, greedy, and apologetic towards predatory corporate and elite behavior.

Hell, we even blame and hate the homeless for having the audacity to ask for spare change! I don't think I'd even want to "fit in" in the United States anymore since it would mean abandoning my values and not being true to myself.

That's another thing. In America, everyone always says "just be yourself" even though it's obvious they don't actually mean it. Whenever I speak my mind here, I am ignored or judged negatively for it.

I agree 100%. As far as I can tell people in America aren't anymore evolved than the Hindus in India several thousand years ago. You know the group that believed everything that happened in life was the result of karma and was deserved whether it was good or bad? Does that sound any different than the average American's mindset today? There's so much ignorance in the world that it's pathetic.

[momopi]

I see that you have spent quite a bit of effort on writing about why you dislike the Western States. And yes I agree that CA people are not as friendly as folks in more rural parts of Utah and Southern States.

However, I do not see anywhere in your writing about your plans to leave the West Coast (or USA) ?

[The Un-American]

I see that you have spent quite a bit of effort on writing about why you dislike the Western States. And yes I agree that CA people are not as friendly as folks in more rural parts of Utah and Southern States.

However, I do not see anywhere in your writing about your plans to leave the West Coast (or USA) ?

Actually I'm in Grass Valley right now (it's a small town in the Sierras) visiting my aunt and uncle and people here seem really friendly, though it's definitely an exception to the rule when talking about the West, and it may only be because I'm visiting that I feel that way because I know living in a place often changes my perception about the culture and the people.

I'm not too sure yet, I've thought about Montreal. Immigration is extremely difficult though, especially since I'm only 25 and don't really have anything to my name as far as degrees or trade experience goes.

[momopi]

I see that you have spent quite a bit of effort on writing about why you dislike the Western States. And yes I agree that CA people are not as friendly as folks in more rural parts of Utah and Southern States.
However, I do not see anywhere in your writing about your plans to leave the West Coast (or USA) ?

Actually I'm in Grass Valley right now (it's a small town in the Sierras) visiting my aunt and uncle and people here seem really friendly, though it's definitely an exception to the rule when talking about the West, and it may only be because I'm visiting that I feel that way because I know living in a place often changes my perception about the culture and the people.

I'm not too sure yet, I've thought about Montreal. Immigration is extremely difficult though, especially since I'm only 25 and don't really have anything to my name as far as degrees or trade experience goes.

I've worked in 5 Canadian provinces, but was never sent to Quebec because I did not speak French.

Have you considered study abroad programs & attending college in Quebec as an international student?

Also, why Quebec and not France?

[Wolfeye]

The Un-American: If you can get citizenship (which is possibly through your heritage) to one EU country you can live, work & retire in any of them. After that, languages aren't necessarily that hard to learn- considering there are SO many books on it (The Quick & Dirty Guide To Learning Languages Fast is good- gives a base of what to learn so it's smoother to talk in that language & learn more from there). At that point, I'd think skills (like stuff that you would need college for the job) would be something you'd have to do THERE- since it would be potentially different standards & laws or whatever (if you were an accountant here, you would still need to go & learn THEIR tax laws & loopholes- not to mention having certification from THEIR accrediting agencies or whatever you call it). I figure that good personal skills would be a better idea (martial arts, general repair, herbs, etc...). Apparently, a lot of people ride motorcyles to save on gas & take public transportation otherwise.

That said, you might be able to "climb the cliff" better there than here. I've noticed that it's pretty common for people to expect you to have all kinds of expertise & experience ahead of time. Basically, to do something before actually doing it. Crazy, right? And if you DO have good knowledge & profiency ahead of going to school or being certified, people actually tend to get pissy! I think it's because it's incongruent with their mental image of things. It seems that, in their mind, something HAS to be specifically taught to be learned & that this comes from some kind of educational institute or another. Not to mention that they feel that expertise & certification go hand-in-hand, so their brain more or less shuts down when someone has certification of some form. It's some kind of insta-trust that often precludes quality control, since there's always a presumption that it's fine & it's already handled. Plus, the same thing happens on the level of the people DOING the quality control.

Other places seem to be more sensible in a lot of things. They also seem to be a bit more soical, people at work actually trying to be friends instead of "work friends" or just smiling at the people they're trying to sabotage (not that this doesn't happen, but it seems to be more culturally common for people to be genuine & not trying to actively undermine everyone around them). In America, there's a very "separatist" mentality on most levels & that there's a kind of paranoia that is at least rooted to the trend of people doing anything for money (if someone is willing to do anything for money, they assume everyone else would do the same- so they don't trust them). That seems to be rooted in Puritanical work-cult bullshit from hundreds of years ago. It seems that the Puritans believed that your job was God's appointed mission for you in life, that work gains salvation, and that work is the point in itself- plus the idea that enjoyment was more or less sinful. Add in some fire & there you go.

Of course, there's other things (ex: America being designed for cars instead of people is something I've seen mentioned numerous times). I think that not having a positive outlook on fighting back when someone attacks is another big issue. That one seems a bit weird when you look at American movies & such, but I've noticed that it has prowess of any form (especially with combative things) is held in a kind of "bad guy" esteem. Not publicly, but it's there. Certainly, there is a large tendency to criminalize effective self-protective efforts & the tools one might use to accomplish these with. A lot of this isn't even on an official level, it's just DONE- no formalized laws or declarations.