Hello. I'm on My Last Legs, Here.

[Eric]

Hello, I'm new and this is my first post. I'll make it short because I'm tired and have to go to bed.
I'm completely and utterly exhausted/demoralized, depressed, sad, lonely, and alienated. I'm a 29 year old man... and I've wasted the last 15 years of my life in America. I'm so sad I contemplate just ending it all - but I want to get out of here. My story is very similar to Winstons, and many others here I feel. Exactly the things he wrote and talks about, they are how I feel - it is verbatim. I am attractive, tall, fit, white, educated (two science degrees), Eagle Scout, etc., sports background, etc., but I feel completely worthless here, and for the life of me I can't be able to make friends, have a gf at all, or even have sex with women as I want to, and it's NOT because I'm not friendly or attractive or even good with women. As someone said here -the women have no empathy, are impossible to connect with on an emotional level, and entitled/narcissistic. It's just bad/intimidating.

i want to move but I'm not sure where yet. I have an opportunity for China, I may take it. It's better than here, and I'm desperate for a change. Any other ideas? I was also thinking Argentina, Turkey, Uruguay or some other places. I'm so depressed thinking about it - I can't even bear to think about my situation here, because it reminds me of how I feel so incredibly empty and in pain and alone here. I suffer so much living here - and for years my whole life have been told "it's my fault". All my problems are my fault. Like as if it's all in my head, or something. People look at me like I'm crazy, or they just look as if to just "get over it" when I say these things.
I don't understand this place and I never will. I've also been part of that "mental health statistic" Winston talks about. Because of this place, and I know it, I've been horribly depressed, on meds, seeing counselors etc. I always knew it was here living in this place - but knew no one would believe me if I said it, so I didn't. I can't believe how crazy this place is, how unhealthy it is and how, seemingly - no one seems to notice or care about it at all. ...It baffles the mind. I always knew I was normal inside, this place wasn't. But no one here seems to get that. I don't get Americans at all. I literally think they are brainwashed and not that intelligent at all, I can't come to any other conclusion, especially - even my family who has lived overseas with me and can't/doesn't understand why I feel the things I do. It's also right that saying you "hate America" is like the worst thing you can do here. It's not allowed and you are attacked for it - so no honest feelings may be said, without feeling guilt.
I used to live overseas and know what Winston is talking about.
I'm going to die here if I stay here. Sorry, I'm kind of upset, and real, real depressed and suffering, like I said, in this stupid shitty miserable country. In China, I'm already talking to a teaching coordinator there, I would be able to make 3,000 a month US dollars, which is not much but it isn't bad, and to be honest it's more than I make here. I don't know what it would be like, but I'm worried about so many options - which one is the right one?
I don't know. Would somebody be able to give me advices? Or maybe a bit of encouragement? Has anyone been to China before? The women have to be better than they are here, they cant get any worse.
I'm a good guy, and have been single and terribly lonely for YEARS, because of America. Nobody believes me, not even my own family - and of course they blame it on me, that it's my fault, that it's "that way everywhere". This place is insane. I feel the people here have lost their minds or are all completely brainwashed. It's literally disturbing me.
I feel that someone had good advice in keeping quiet about your intention or plans to move abroad, while you store money and make arrangements/figure things out - don't tell anybody...except maybe persons from this site etc., keep them to yourself. This is not something I've been historically good at, I've blabbed about it...and then of course got shot down by naysayers and my confidence shot and I fell apart miserably and unconfident. This is why he said to do that, I suppose. .. These things are so hard.
This is literally hell on earth - it seems like I'm escaping out of hell or something. It's that bad. I know this isn't coherent, but I'm doing my best tonight. I just want to make the best decision. I don't want to go someplace I don't like. Yet at the same time, time is ticking down and I'm so miserable I'm having trouble even thinking straight and my desperation is showing. I don't want that to impact my decision making. I have a good opportunity to go to China, but I'm just not sure. I should go, I think.
Other choices I thought were Turkey, Argentina, Iceland, Uruguay, Mexico even. Things like that.


I'm just here for support. Thank you guys, this is only really a one place I can come to talk - about this. Sadly.
It makes me feel crazy that I'm the sane one and I feel crazy talking about this in this country. That is actually really upsetting to me. I can't quite figure it out. Am I not human? Are they just that convinced themselves that they 'have to like it here'?

[droid]

Welcome to the forum, thanks for sharing your experience.
Hey don't lose hope man, there's a whole different world out there where you won't feel like an untouchable, you won't believe it!!
Keep persevering, the most important thing is to be disciplined and stick to a plan to get out.

[Jester]

Eric,

you are doing the right thing.

3000usd will be great money in China. You'll have money in your pocket all the time.

And no DONT blab to anyone. If you HAVE to answer a question for some reason, just mumble that you are looking at some jobs advertised online, we'll see.

You can change countries later, and you probably will. China is a GREAT first stop. 3000usd is a GREAT initial salary.

Feel free to post more, and motivate others with your successes.

Nail down a job, buy the ticket, pack the suitcase, dump the other stuff.

[Eric]

Thank you guys, you guys are awesome. This is needed. Thanks! I think I will/ and I am. I cant wait. Yes, and if anyone asks, it's just that "I want to travel some more/ see other places." I'll post more later - when I get back from work.
God bless you guys all.
-Peace.

[hammanta]

I feel that someone had good advice in keeping quiet about your intention or plans to move abroad, while you store money and make arrangements/figure things out - don't tell anybody...except maybe persons from this site etc., keep them to yourself. This is not something I've been historically good at, I've blabbed about it...and then of course got shot down by naysayers and my confidence shot and I fell apart miserably and unconfident. This is why he said to do that, I suppose. .. These things are so hard.

GO,GO,GO!!!!

Americans in general are sheltered. They are also quite opinionated and feel the need to share their opinions. My mother hasn't been off the east coast of the US but advises me on things she knows nothing about whenever I inform her I will be traveling somewhere. I'm similar to your situation except I do have good friends and I haven't had a terrible time with women here. However, if I waited or listened to all of the naysayers I'd never finish or do anything. I have a good friend who is about to propose to his girlfriend. He always questions why I don't date American women anymore and makes fun of me for traveling overseas a lot to meet women. His girlfriend is a sweetheart but by no means attractive and is heavy set. Simply put don't listen to them. Do you!!!! If you wanna go, if it will make you happier, then go.

[wanderlust]

What everyone else said. GO.

It's only the same everywhere in the Anglosphere. Tons of us have been in your shoes. You're doing the right things; you're not the problem. There are tons of women in China or anywhere else who'd love to meet someone like you. Stop procrastinating and set the wheels in motion. GO.

From what I gather, expect that Chinese women will be traditional, cheerful, well-mannered, reserved, keep their emotions under control (at least initially), thrifty, sensible, personable, attractive but not necessarily sexy/seductive. They'll appreciate someone with a working brain. I went through the airport in China and the staff there at the counters, restaurants, etc., a fairly good sampling of the general public, were pleasant. There was nothing in them that a normal person would find to complain about. No narcissistic vibe, blatant attention seeking, etc. Elsewhere in Asia and the US I've crossed paths with other Chinese and the same held true for them.

Regarding those other places:

Uruguay: others on this board have said dating was a bit slow there. Nobody had anything terribly negative to say about it otherwise. Ethnically it's mostly white. Can't possibly be as bad as it is here; I doubt you'd strike out. Latin Americans will generally converse with strangers if your Spanish is passable.

Argentina: Again, lots of Caucasian heritage there. Others on this board had mixed reviews. Girls can be dramatic, hot and cold. I had an Argentine GF a long time ago. High crime rate. Look for girls through friends, acquaintances, work, etc. as the clubs tend to bring out attention seekers, drama queens. If you have some sense, and aren't a tourist passing through, you won't strike out.

Turkey: Many posters have said the Turkish men will try to keep you away from the women there (some would call it "c0ckblocking"). Women are supposed to be quite good looking. Tasty food, nice climate. How good is your Turkish? English speaking women in non-westernized countries often have a greater affinity for Anglophone pop culture.

Mexico: Expect dating to come easier here than anywhere else you mentioned, especially if you are living there and not just visiting. Cheap to visit, friendly. You're seen as a walking wallet in tourist destinations by street vendors, pickpockets and robbers, and may be a target for extortion/bribes by corrupt cops in these areas. Women are traditional, personable, friendly.

Iceland: Some have said the women are guarded emotionally and that alcohol lubes up interactions between the sexes socially and sexually. I've never been there but if other Scandinavians are anything like Icelanders, it seems like it would be accurate. General quality of life in Scandinavia is said to be high and the region rates highly on happiness.

Bottom line is anywhere else you'll do better than here. Take your pick. Judging from your writing style and what it suggests about your thinking process, I'm guessing you'd enjoy China the best of all. GO.

[Ghost]

-----

[Eric]

Thank you so much for all your thought out replies. These are extraordinarily helpful. One thing, I cannot believe how this site is exploding with expats and people, generally Americans it seems, that just want to get the f out of the country. I'm literally astounded, it's like an entire whole underground movement - that gets no press time, no public acknowledgement at all, no nothing not even a public discussion. I can't believe this. I'm astounded. I am because this is what I've felt my whole life, here, and always never allowed myself to feel it. I can't believe it.
I think I'm going to China. Thank you Ghost and thank you wanderlust in particular for your replies. ...it is extraordinarily helpful. I always felt that I'm losing my soul here. I know that I'd probably be in heaven in China. I just know it. I used to live in Turkey, have experience there, and ...I loved it. I'd go back there except for WW3 is about to kick off and it might get wiped off the map due to Erdogan's arrogant presidency. I'm in Texas, right next to Mexico, I work with a lot of Mexicans, I mean genuine straight from Mexico, and they all say it's great, say great things about it...except they warn about the cartels. I believe them. I think you're right - you sound like you've been a lot of places, and have experience. I'd like it anywhere but here, the sad but horrible damned truth it is - I always knew it. I think I'd like Mexico, I'm not worried about the cartels. I know how to live smartly and watch myself and decisions. The quality of life I'd trade would be better. I'm already a shoe in for China, I'd go to Beijing, is that good? I asked the Chinese girl correspondent I'm talking to, and she seemed to think it was the best place to come. It's a years teaching contract, I'd be teaching small children...but I don't know any Chinese. I speak almost pretty fluent Spanish. The problem is...and this is why everybody on this site keeps saying 'not to say anything to anybody about where/what you're doing', is that I'd get excited about Mexico, tell my parents - Mother or my brother, or any stupid American really...and they'll always say the same thing - warning about danger (never having been out of their sheep pens)... or just killing my vibe with any and anything they can. It's happened like that for years. You know, if I didn't know any better - I'd say it's almost like they get a rise out of deflating or trashing down anything like that - just because. I swear, they'll never say... "that's what we're doing" but inside I know it...it's sickening. They just like to crash it. I used to tear my hair out and complain life's not fair because it happened. I'll never understand it, except that people are afraid, and I guess that's what it is.


I think I'd love Mexico.
I think I'd love China.
I think I'm in for a surprise, I think I'm going to try China.
I'm very polite, I'm very traditional. I love...absolutely love the oriental respect thing going on. I can definitely get with that ...the other day I walked into a traditional, small family owned Chinese restaurant just down the street, that I didn't know was there. I walked in...immediately, I could tell just by seeing the face of the man, Chinese man, everything about him was different. The waitresses were petite and polite, well mannered and elegant, even beautiful a little bit. I looked at him, smiled and he smiled, bowed a little and I got with it and bowed my head a bit. So respectful. I was loving the high I got off there the whole entire time. The only bad thing about the restaurant was that ... some degenerate American they hired - who looked like he just came off the street, possibly had a drug habit, and was a definite homosexual... shuffled up to me and totally ruined the nice vibe of everything. He was your usual narcissistic, American, got too close to me while I was reading the menu, etc. The contrast I was thinking was just awful. I wondered what these nice and benevolent Chinese must think of this man, why did they hire him. .. It was disgusting, made me sad for America, once again. Anyway, thank you for your replies! I read all of them and keep them close to my heart.

[Eric]

I also think I've figured out how to make it along America. You have to be degenerate yourself, and think like a degenerate.
The women here are used to being sex objects and having multiple sex, being used for sex, etc. It sounds shocking but it's the actual truth.
If you get along with and adapt this mindset ..... I guarantee you'll have a lot of sex with a lot of women. You just have to get on the same wavelength. Can't be afraid that women aren't like this - they are - or that they'll get offended, they won't, and you'll miss your chance. You have to literally get on the same wavelength energy when you see one. That's literally how they're degenerated to be. ...through cultural/media conditioning since they were young.

I resisted and fought this my whole life, trying to hang onto myself, here..
I guess I missed a boat of degenerate fun.. Owell.
maybe not too late before I leave.
As it's said you either go with the current or be barreled over and crushed and torn apart by it. And it makes no use fighting it.

[colibri]

Don't Give Up
by Mario Benedetti

Don't give up, you still have time
to reach up and start anew,
Accept your shadows,
Bury your fears,
Free your burdens,
Fly again.

Don't give up, that's what life is
Continue the journey,
Follow your dreams,
Unstuck time,
Move the rubble,
And uncover the sky.

Don't give up, please don't give way,
Even if the cold burns,
Even if fear bites,
Even if the sun sets,
And the wind goes silent,
There is still fire in your soul
There is still life in your dreams.

Because life is yours and yours is the desire


a part of a poem i like to come back to when i need a lift hope it helps u a lil.

[desembarazarse]

but I don't know any Chinese. I speak almost pretty fluent Spanish.

Pienso que deberías ir a la América Latina. No hay que subestimar la dificultad de aprender chino.

Deseo que yo hable español casi con fluidez.

[Breakaway]

definitely if you are white, GO TO CHINA.

[Eric]

but I don't know any Chinese. I speak almost pretty fluent Spanish.

Pienso que deberías ir a la América Latina. No hay que subestimar la dificultad de aprender chino.

Deseo que yo hable español casi con fluidez.

I'm not underestimating at all - that's why I'm concerned about it. I mentioned it to the correspondent I'm talking to, she didn't seem too concerned. I'm learning what I can now...some online stuff is helping me a bit, introducing me to the basic structure of their language. I think, like everyone says - I'll like it wherever I go...as long as it's not here.
It's also amazing how I tell that to people here, and they totally can't believe it...in this country. They think it will be worse everywhere else. It's like everything is inverted, here, everything.
From the food pyramid madness, to education madness, to PC madness, affirmative action stuff, people being brainwashed to accept homosexuality stuff as "normal" and healthy, Americans' work week of death... basically everything Winston mentions.

[Eric]

definitely if you are white, GO TO CHINA.

LoL. I like it! I'm a 6'3" tall, thin & good looking guy. I'm going to stand out like a sore thumb there...

I had this similar experience in Turkey when I was little. Even though I was little, I'm very fair skinned, blue eyes...complexion. I definitely stood out and didn't look Turkish. The Turks have a habit of staring at something they don't know, see as interesting or different. They don't mean anything by it - most of them are very, very nice hospitable people; it's a hospitable culture. If you make a friend with a Turk they will be your best friend, loyal to the end... very good friendships. Also the women are great and nice, there. Although sadly, I hear that's slowly changing too.
Anyways, I'm looking forward and can't wait.

[droid]

The Turks have a habit of staring at something they don't know, see as interesting or different. They don't mean anything by it - most of them are very, very nice hospitable people

Haha you don't know what staring is, wait till you come to East Asia lol
But also everyone's real nice here, just curious. A smile with a quick thumbs up gets you instant approval.