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Married abroad

What's your story? Discussions your reasons for going abroad.

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skweeps
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Married abroad

Post by skweeps » November 11th, 2017, 5:04 am

This is a long story. Think I might make a youtube video about it. I was born in the former yugoslavia and grew up in the u.s. My mother also grew up in the U.S. but she would go back to the old country every year and that's where she met my dad. I'm a pretty decent looking guy and could never for the life of me get a decent girl. I've lived in NY, Houston, and California. Seen a lot of this country and believe me, most people are the same everywhere. America is filled with obese, drug addicted, alcoholic women. The decent girls' egos are so inflated that they are unapproachable or simply have way too many options.

I went to Europe for the first time (since I was born) when I was 20. I was reluctant because I didn't want to leave my friends for a month (stupid 20 year old college student in me). I was in culture shock. I went to my aunt's in Germany first and then went to the former Yugoslavia to Croatia and Serbia where I have family. Was a good experience but I didn't appreciate it at the time.

As time passed, it slowly hit me that I was beginning not to enjoy the United States anymore. The hustle and the bustle and the rat race with no breaks, no relief, no joy. I kept going back to Europe and started learning my native language (Serbo Croatian). By the way, I was accepted right away. Friendly people all over. They want to engage with you. I got more women there in one month than I had in years of dating in the United States. I had experiences that I could write a book on. By the way, beautiful women. It was truly an adventure. This girl I met at a wedding invited me to go to the city where she was going to college and stay with her. I said hell yeah. I took the bus and stayed with her for a couple of weeks. We then went to a music festival where my uncle lived so we stayed with him. The best time of my life.

She's gone. She ended up being a vindictive girl whose unfounded jealousy caused her to destroy the relationship. Oh well. I met my wife a year later so it's cool. By the way, it took me a few tries of going to Europe to actually make things happen. Don't expect to just have things thrown at you over there. Especially in Western Europe as they have been brainwashed the same way Americans have. Not to the same extent but it's there. So if it doesn't go for you, keep trying and don't give up and don't be too down on yourself.

Don't fall in love with the first woman who gives you attention. This is difficult as it is easy to fall in love if you have been getting no attention for years. I made this mistake and my heart was broken (crying in the shower like Jim Carrey in Ace Ventura lol). But yeah. Anyways my wife and I plan on moving back to europe in a couple of years. We just need to save up some more money. America is just becoming a hassle to live in. Not enjoyable. But like Winston says, if there is a will, there is a way.

Here are some tips:

1.) Don't hang out with other Americans while abroad. As a matter of fact. Stay the hell away from them. It is reducing your experience. And don't even look at it like it's an experience. Try and live like they live. Try and blend in. Be yourself though. I mean if you don't speak the language communicate in English of course. I mean but just chill and take in the vibes and the culture. Don't join any tourist group where you will be sight seeing. It's not a zoo. Those tour groups are like watching a TV show and wishing you were a character in that show. Don't wish, be a character!

2.) Don't try and focus too much on finding a girl. Don't drive yourself crazy because honestly I think that the second you stop caring is when it starts happening. That's my experience. Plus if you spend too much time thinking about finding a girl it will show. Don't make it obvious and just relax and be yourself.

3.) Frequent the same bar. Go when nobody else is there and wait for people to start showing up even. If you feel this bar sucks, even if it has pretty girls, go to another one. There are plenty. I just start talking to the bartender and BSing. Usually they will have a friend that walks in. Throw a few words to add to there conversation. (This isn't how I met my wife but I've gotten a lot of dates like this believe it or not). Even if there isn't a girl there. The bartender or someone might invite you out afterwards or whatever and you can meet someone there. The point is, it's easy as hell to make friends.

4.) Don't give up and don't take life too seriously. I know it's hard because we have been conditioned like that. And it's easy to fall into a rut here in the U.S. But there is a light at the end of the tunnel. Don't trust everyone in Europe or other places abroad either.




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jamesbond
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Re: Married abroad

Post by jamesbond » November 11th, 2017, 2:02 pm

skweeps wrote:As time passed, it slowly hit me that I was beginning not to enjoy the United States anymore. The hustle and the bustle and the rat race with no breaks, no relief, no joy. I kept going back to Europe and started learning my native language (Serbo Croatian). By the way, I was accepted right away. Friendly people all over. They want to engage with you. I got more women there in one month than I had in years of dating in the United States.


Glad to hear of your story skweeps. A lot of guys in the US are also realizing just how horrible the 9 to 5 rat race is. You said you met more women in one month in Europe than you had in years of dating in America. That's awesome! :D
"When I think about the idea of getting involved with an American woman, I don't know if I should laugh .............. or vomit!"

"Trying to meet women in America is like trying to decipher Egyptian hieroglyphics."

skweeps
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Re: Married abroad

Post by skweeps » November 11th, 2017, 2:13 pm

Thanks jamesbond. By the way, about work. I take home around 60k(after taxes) in the United States. If I moved to Germany to work I'd be making 1500-2000 euros a month (after taxes). Big pay cut but believe me it's worth it. A lot of jobs offer paid vacations. Sure you work, but you get longer vacations in Germany. Plus, the workers are treated with more respect socially. For example, I know waiters, dishwashers, guys who clean parks, landscapers, etc who have awesome lives in Germany. Many are married and have kids. Others just live a good single life. It's up to you. The point is, nobody looks down on you for having these types of jobs in Europe. In America on the other hand, you are made to feel lesser for working as a dishwasher or maintenance at an airport or bus terminal. The cost of living is much cheaper. The quality of life is just much better. Money isn't everything. As long as you can afford to live, life is much more fulfilling. You can feel it. Just like Winston says, life feels meaningless in the United States. That's because it is. What is life if all you do is work work work? It's not worth it. I can't wait to get out of here and to start a new chapter, hell, a new book in my life. If anyone has any questions just ask me.

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jamesbond
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Re: Married abroad

Post by jamesbond » November 11th, 2017, 2:32 pm

skweeps wrote:Thanks jamesbond. By the way, about work. I take home around 60k(after taxes) in the United States. If I moved to Germany to work I'd be making 1500-2000 euros a month (after taxes). Big pay cut but believe me it's worth it. A lot of jobs offer paid vacations. Sure you work, but you get longer vacations in Germany. Plus, the workers are treated with more respect socially. For example, I know waiters, dishwashers, guys who clean parks, landscapers, etc who have awesome lives in Germany. Many are married and have kids. Others just live a good single life. It's up to you. The point is, nobody looks down on you for having these types of jobs in Europe. In America on the other hand, you are made to feel lesser for working as a dishwasher or maintenance at an airport or bus terminal. The cost of living is much cheaper. The quality of life is just much better. Money isn't everything. As long as you can afford to live, life is much more fulfilling. You can feel it. Just like Winston says, life feels meaningless in the United States. That's because it is. What is life if all you do is work work work? It's not worth it. I can't wait to get out of here and to start a new chapter, hell, a new book in my life. If anyone has any questions just ask me.
I have heard other people say the same thing about life in Europe, that it's not the work alcoholic lifestyle like it is here in the United States. I know in Germany employees get 6 weeks paid vacation a year and 12 paid holidays. In the USA, you get 2 weeks of vacation a year and around 8 paid holidays.

I want to visit Germany soon, probably Berlin first, then Munich and Frankfort. While I am in Europe I also plan on visiting Warsaw Poland and maybe Krakow as well.
"When I think about the idea of getting involved with an American woman, I don't know if I should laugh .............. or vomit!"

"Trying to meet women in America is like trying to decipher Egyptian hieroglyphics."

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Winston
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Re: Married abroad

Post by Winston » November 11th, 2017, 6:21 pm

Is yugoslavia a good country to visit? Is it friendly for Americans? Isnt yugoslavia now called serbia or croatia? Is it peaceful there now?

How was NY? Was it as exciting as in the movies? Is it easy to make friends there? It claims to have something for everyone.
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skweeps
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Re: Married abroad

Post by skweeps » November 11th, 2017, 7:11 pm

Winston, NY is full of transplants from all over the country and world. It used to be ok. It is an exciting city but it's not the place to make connections with people. It isn't laid back at all and all you have time for is work and sleep. It's become a dreadful city. Yugoslavia did have a war. It now consists of Serbia, Croatia, Macedonia, Bosnia, Slovenia, and Montenegro. It is a safe place. Much safer than the united states. You can walk the streets at any hour in any neighborhood and not have any problems. Just stay away from Kosovo. Novi Sad and Belgrade are good towns to explore. Novi Sad especially.

skweeps
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Re: Married abroad

Post by skweeps » November 12th, 2017, 12:48 am

I think i posted a response winston. But I'm not sure if it went through.

MrMan
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Re: Married abroad

Post by MrMan » November 12th, 2017, 4:29 pm

skweeps wrote:Thanks jamesbond. By the way, about work. I take home around 60k(after taxes) in the United States. If I moved to Germany to work I'd be making 1500-2000 euros a month (after taxes). Big pay cut but believe me it's worth it. A lot of jobs offer paid vacations. Sure you work, but you get longer vacations in Germany. Plus, the workers are treated with more respect socially. For example, I know waiters, dishwashers, guys who clean parks, landscapers, etc who have awesome lives in Germany. Many are married and have kids. Others just live a good single life. It's up to you. The point is, nobody looks down on you for having these types of jobs in Europe. In America on the other hand, you are made to feel lesser for working as a dishwasher or maintenance at an airport or bus terminal. The cost of living is much cheaper. The quality of life is just much better. Money isn't everything. As long as you can afford to live, life is much more fulfilling. You can feel it. Just like Winston says, life feels meaningless in the United States. That's because it is. What is life if all you do is work work work? It's not worth it. I can't wait to get out of here and to start a new chapter, hell, a new book in my life. If anyone has any questions just ask me.
I am surprised to hear that the cost of living is cheaper in Europe. Is that true in Germany? I was thinking of taking a trip there next year.... maybe. My employer pays for a trip home, but I hear we can sub out another trip. We may visit some family who is temporarily there.

Anyway, what is cheaper in Europe than in the US? Food? Housing? Other things? Is it medical care? That would make sense.

Zambales
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Re: Married abroad

Post by Zambales » November 12th, 2017, 9:02 pm

Dubrovnik is meant to be beautiful. Is that in Croatia? I could fly there in about three hours from where I'm living. If the women are as nice as you say OP, it could be a viable option for me.

I agree with your tips skweeps. Good advice!

skweeps
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Re: Married abroad

Post by skweeps » November 13th, 2017, 2:27 pm

MrMan, yes it is cheaper. Google cost of living in a city in Germany versus a city in the U.S. a website should pop up and it will list a various number of comparisons. The only thing that's more expensive is gas.. and bananas. HA! If you live outside of the city center you can get a decent apartment for a decent price. Food and rent are both cheaper. If you want to buy a home then it is more expensive but who wants a burden of a mortgage anyways? The way I see it, the more stuff you want, the more work and stress comes with it.

Zambales, Dubrovnik is in Croatia, yes. But this isn't the town you want to go to if you want to find a nice girl. Dubrovnik is filled with tourists (many from America and other Western countries) during the spring and summer. It is a beautiful town but take your girlfriend there, don't go looking for a girlfriend there. That goes for anywhere on the sea. Osijek is a good town to meet women.

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