I cannot wait to go abroad. Because...

[fschmidt]

I am also in the process of moving out, to Xalapa, Mexico.

I am intrested in your relocation. I have lived in Peru with my Peruvian wife and it was the best decision I ever made. Please keep me informed on how you are doing in Mexico. You can P/M me when you are there. Thanks.

My family went to Xalapa with the intent of moving there. But after spending some time there, my family (wife and 2 kids) wanted to leave. Xalapa seemed to have changed somewhat for the worse since I was there a year before. We then traveled for 2 weeks to Argentina and 2 weeks in Mexico. After traveling, I wrote my thoughts in Post-Game Culture. If I were single, I would certainly move abroad. But now that I feel that I understand the problems in other countries better, I am less concerned about where I live and I will just focus on my life and family and avoid interacting too much with any modern culture. We live in El Paso, Texas now which seems like a reasonable compromise. The culture is largely Mexican but we have American rule of law and English bookstores.

[firethrower1000]

i am 20 years old and i was in america a year ago and i spent three and a half years there and i was dateless just like you and american high school sucked compared to europe's high school basically everything you said is true and i can relate to what you are talking about but i just want to warn you that staying in america wont help you must leave as soon as you have the chance because as you said it yourself you are 32 and thats an age were i would probably already have a wife and kids in europe..dont was you youth in america anymore dear comerade, because in america once you are forced to date a women in her fourthies or more she wont even be interested in having children and the young american women in their twenties wo are wanna be princesses wont give you the time of day and if you equate these two options it could be dangerous for you if you want to form a famile and have kids you know what i mean?

[momopi]

Well people in Europe like going out to pubs a lot too and drinking beer. But they don't usually get drunk often. Maybe they don't drink too much? Instead, they have intelligent conversation at the pubs and control how much they drink.

But frankly, I never understood why people want to get drunk or like it. I mean, nothing good comes out of it, so what's the point? If I need to relax or escape problems, there are many better and safer ways than to get drunk. It doesn't make sense. It doesn't even feel good.

I also never understood why people like roller coasters either. It's all pain and no pleasure to me. Why would anyone like the feeling like they are about to die and all the panic buttons in their nervous system are going off? That's not pleasure, that's extreme stress on your body and nervous system. So why the hell would anyone PAY money for such an unpleasant feeling? It makes no f***ing sense.

EU has one of the highest alcohol consumption rate in the world. Minus the 15% who don't drink there, the remainer (85%) consumes and average of 15 liters of pure alcohol (deducted from the alcohol content of the drink) annually. But their culture is to consume alcohol with meals, and it'd be impolite to get drunk at the dinner table. In the US, it's guys, football game, and keg of beer...

People enjoy rollar coasters because it's exciting and more accessible than bungee jumping or sky diving. Think of it this way, if people didn't enjoy it, then theme parks wouldn't invest in it. Going to the theme park with your pack of friends and taking rollar coaster rides, where everyone screams and have lots of fun is part of the experience. And if you want your standoff-ish date to cling to you, take her to the haunted house. By the time you're leaving, you'd be holding hands.

[NorthAmericanguy]

I agree with the posts in this thread. Male culture is definitely messed up here. Not all guys are this way (insecure, loud, xenophobic) but as many as 60-70% are.

I went abroad for the first time last summer (I don't think I've posted here since then...) and it was quite an experience. I feel like I only got a brief taste of life in Europe, and I really want to go back. Many things were different. Even in a very exclusive country like France (with FAR more antisocial people than in the U.S.) I made truer connections.

The interesting thing about me is nobody in America thinks I'm American! I am REPEATEDLY asked what country I am from. It's totally surreal how I'm told I just don't seem American on a weekly basis. Maybe because I'm intelligent, social, inclusive and I get along with people? Who knows...

I'm 22. My love life is always a struggle. My goal is to date a lot of really cute women before I go exclusive, but it must be a very good relationship (loving AND sexually charged). This goal seems innocent enough, but it's so bloody hard. Sometimes close to impossible. It doesn't help that relationships here scare the living daylights out of me because I see so many people suffering after finding their girlfriend. American relationships are usually a mess. I think it's this fear that holds me back.

The problem is that women here are so PARANOID! It's as if you're guilty (being a stalker, being creepy, being a loser, being nerdy) until proven innocent. So the immediate courtship process is about trying to demonstrate you're not one of those things. I want to believe I'm a very honest, upfront, romantic, exciting / adventurous man. But it's the dating process (before I developed callouses) has actually made me question myself, and wonder if I'm not a good person. When women insult you just for talking to them, it can cause some insecurity.

But not all women are like that, only a few of the real bitches. So I just filter them out. But the ones who are not bitchy have been raised to be so paranoid, that it's like trying to tame a scared woodland animal. The really sweet girls are often scared to go out with you, and even believe that dating a guy automatically means settling down (I live in more conservative parts) so it becomes a huge deal.

And so many are infected by the "get a real man" syndrome where I am judged by the size of my truck and the size of my biceps. Meanwhile, most of the "real men" are guys described in this thread: super macho, xenophobic, insecure, brash, arrogant, etc. They usually take these emotional problems into relationships, resulting in our massive divorce rates and domestic violence levels.

As I've stated here in the past, I don't think I'm without 'game'. A lot of dating problems involve guys not being congruent with themselves or confident enough. But I know this isn't my problem anymore. I can get a girl's interest in an instant. But the real barrier is on a deeper level, or a lack of commonality.

So, after I graduate college, and develop some kind of mobile business, I really gotta spend some time overseas. I don't think I'll find my ideal love life here. I mean I could, but it would take so much longer and why put myself through that kind of stress? Until then I've accepted how different and "European" I act, and I'm glad to stand out.

Wow, this is one hell of a good post.

[E_Irizarry]

Well people in Europe like going out to pubs a lot too and drinking beer. But they don't usually get drunk often. Maybe they don't drink too much? Instead, they have intelligent conversation at the pubs and control how much they drink.

But frankly, I never understood why people want to get drunk or like it. I mean, nothing good comes out of it, so what's the point? If I need to relax or escape problems, there are many better and safer ways than to get drunk. It doesn't make sense. It doesn't even feel good.

I also never understood why people like roller coasters either. It's all pain and no pleasure to me. Why would anyone like the feeling like they are about to die and all the panic buttons in their nervous system are going off? That's not pleasure, that's extreme stress on your body and nervous system. So why the hell would anyone PAY money for such an unpleasant feeling? It makes no f***ing sense.

Try Oz. Those assholes love to drink until they go into a purgatory state of stupor.

[Steve Juba]

I went to Australia 2 years ago and lived there for 8 months. Absolutely fell in love with Sydney and the whole country. Can't wait to go back and now I travel the world for a living!

Steve

singlesbythebaytravel.com