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Why I go abroad..... my personal 2 cents

What's your story? Discussions your reasons for going abroad.

Moderators: jamesbond, fschmidt

Why I go abroad..... my personal 2 cents

Postby ajushi » Tue May 25, 2010 1:28 pm

1) easy to fınd work here for a natıve Eng speaker (ESL teaching, and language related writing and editing), and even part tıme wıork can pay lıvıng expenses.

2) the supportıve, ınclusıve, welcomıng, warm, frıendly, famıly and frıendshıp orıented socıal dynamıc here ıs what I have been starvıng for sınce I was a kid. on that note, I wıll add that thıs ıs how church should be but ıt ıs totally the opposte. It ıs a real source of wonderment and confusıon to me when ıt looks lıke the Holy Spırıt ıs way more at work ın these people, many of them muslım or other non belıevers, than most Chrıstıans I have ever met ın the US who profess belıef and repentence but lıve alone ın these loathsome ısolated mıstrustful bubbles, not makıng real connectıons wıth people, not relyıng on people, not trustıng people, and keepıng all of theır ıssues locked up ınsıde of themselves ınstead of openıng up about ıt and gettıng support from theır frıends and famıly and doıng the same for them. However, thıs does not mean they are bad people and has lıttle relevence to theır belıef, ıt ıs sımply because of the socıal matrıx they grow up and lıve ın.

3) I have wanted to travel and lıve abroad sınce I was 5 years old.

4) I love ıt out here for so many other reasons. Archıtecture, the more easy goıng way of lıfe ın general. Family and social life centric instead of work and idependence centric mentality. The ıntense experıence of makıng new fırends wıth people of extremely dıfferent backgrounds or creeds, and the very easy abılıty to get ınvolved ın creatıve opportunıtıes to serve and make a posıtıve dıfference that really matters and ıs not just the volunteer work ın the US, for whıch I have ın fact been mocked and questıon more often ın the US than I have been encouraged or supported or had people offer to help.

Cons:

I do not lıke the scary aır and water qualıty or the human rıghts ıssues out here, or the fact that many people are left to a terrıble exıstence here, but these are obvıous ways to apply oneself to try to make a dıfference where there ıs real need.

No one speaks your language
no normality in the social dynamic because you are a foreigner - much moreso if you are from the US and even more so if you do not look like the locals. Sometimes treated like a movie star, other times like a villain, but never treated like a regular person.
Last edited by ajushi on Sat Jun 12, 2010 4:05 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Postby ladislav » Tue May 25, 2010 4:01 pm

Where are you? PM me if you do not want to let it be known. You must be in Russia, I think or there abouts.

Now, my question is this though: why would you feel lonely being an American yourself? Other Americans are taught to be independent and to be happy being alone, strong and proud as an eagle or a lion. They prefer to be alone and generally respect the solitude of other people as well. Just look at faces of Americans in cars on highways /freeways. Tough, standing alone, strong and confident, iron-jawed faces of corporate warriors/winners.

None of them seem to feel anything that you feel. The ones who feel lonely in the US are Latin or Slavic people.

The Japanese and other even even " colder " nations find Americans to be warm, open and friendly and welcoming and smiling and this and that. The Japanese run away from the cold mechanical-ness of Japan into the "relaxed" and "friendly" USA.

Now, if you were born and raised in the USA, as I presume you have, why would you feel that anything was lacking? An eagle does not feel lonely nor does a lion. They do not need groups of eagles or lions to hang out with. An American is a John Wayne, a Bruce Willis. There is no room for 'other people' in their lives. They are as independent as can be and so much happier for it. Why aren't you? Where did you get this "other" point of reference?

I had the same question for Winston: East Asians as a rule do not have the Russian/Latin soul that Winston has. Most are happy studying for a degree in Math while mixing noodles at their parents' shop in Monterey Park and then posting articles at night on some Asian American website about "white apes" and the solidarity of all Asian Americans against other groups.

Or writing identity-crisis related articles like these:

http://www.asianweek.com/2007/08/24/the ... ans-white/
Last edited by ladislav on Tue May 25, 2010 5:05 pm, edited 3 times in total.
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Postby Think Different » Tue May 25, 2010 4:05 pm

Please let me know by PM, what country you're in, too, since I can't find ANYTHING decent for work here in the US.
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Postby Think Different » Tue May 25, 2010 4:35 pm

"I wıll add that thıs ıs how church should be but ıt ıs totally the opposte. It ıs a real source of wonderment and confusıon to me when ıt looks lıke the Holy Spırıt ıs way more at work ın these people, many of them muslım or other non belıevers, than most Chrıstıans I have ever met ın the US who profess belıef and repentence but lıve alone ın these loathsome ısolated mıstrustful bubbles..."

That's a great point, and I'm glad you figured it out at a young age. It was a point that I struggled with for many years, and almost lost my Christian faith as a result of it, until I discovered the real problem, when I was older. The problem is not with Christianity per se, but with the dysfunctional American social framework in general, which obviously imbues the form of Christianity as found in the US. I too always struggled with trying to reconcile American Christians' VERY forward and in-your-face form of wearing their Christian faith on their sleeve, but then acting like jerks and cruel know-it-alls in the next breath. Overseas, even the non-Christians, atheists, etc. were almost always MUCH more normal, caring, and socially integrated than the loud-mouthed Christians in the US. I finally realized it wasn't the Christianity, it was the ridiculous and corrupted American social matrix.
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Postby Vicbowling » Tue Jun 29, 2010 8:41 pm

I'm curious where you're living too. My guess would be Japan, just because I've heard that people there are very friendly. My second guess would be China because you mention the air quality. Just curious.
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Postby ajushi » Thu Jul 08, 2010 11:39 pm

That was Turkey...

Basically a social explosion there of epic proportions. The ease of meeting people, talking to strangers, making friends, meeting women, finding social activities is bordering on ridiculous and you truly have no one and nothing to blame but yourself if you are not enjoying an active social life etc... It is like a dream come true. I generally have the impression that this goes for a lot of places outside of the US for westerners, so I have learned that the question of where is not that important.

There are also many ridiculous issues of extreme pollution, human rights issues, nature depreiviation, and extreme culture shock in being there. This also seems to go for most places of 2nd and 3rd tier economies outside of any person's home country, so again, the where is not important.


Vicbowling wrote:I'm curious where you're living too. My guess would be Japan, just because I've heard that people there are very friendly. My second guess would be China because you mention the air quality. Just curious.
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Postby Think Different » Fri Jul 09, 2010 12:00 am

I will also note that in some places in the US, you will also find very backward people, horrible pollution, undrinkable tap water, decimated nature (ever been to the southern Mississippi River regions?) and if you count some of the inner cities you'll find terrible racism and mistreatment of other humans. Even the US/state/local government jobs are hard to get, if you're not one of the politically correct races, female, gay/lesbian/bi/trans/etc. So, in a nutshell, the question becomes where can YOU as an expat get the best quality of life? Yes, we should help others where we can, but many cultures don't want you to help them. You're an outsider and it's a pride thing for them.
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Postby ladislav » Fri Jul 09, 2010 3:41 am

ajushi wrote:That was Turkey...




Turkey? Well, I can understand the ease of meeting (male) people. It is a Meditarranean culture. But meeting women? You mean non Muslims can meet women there? Wouldn't you be locked in prison ala Midnight Express and suspended and beaten there for talking to women? Or in the best case chased down the street by dagger-wielding Turkish men screaming Allahu- Akbar? And arent non Turks considered 'dirty'?
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Postby skeptic » Thu Jul 29, 2010 4:31 am

No one speaks your language
no normality in the social dynamic because you are a foreigner - much moreso if you are from the US and even more so if you do not look like the locals. Sometimes treated like a movie star, other times like a villain, but never treated like a regular person.


That's the point! You don't want to be a center of attention just because you are a foreigner (especially American). And there is no basis to believe that those girls have the same standard impose on their regular local fellows as American girls impose on theirs. There is even no basis to believe that those girls are as nice to their own guys as they would be to you as an American.
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Postby Winston » Thu Jul 29, 2010 4:47 am

skeptic wrote:
No one speaks your language
no normality in the social dynamic because you are a foreigner - much moreso if you are from the US and even more so if you do not look like the locals. Sometimes treated like a movie star, other times like a villain, but never treated like a regular person.


That's the point! You don't want to be a center of attention just because you are a foreigner (especially American). And there is no basis to believe that those girls have the same standard impose on their regular local fellows as American girls impose on theirs. There is even no basis to believe that those girls are as nice to their own guys as they would be to you as an American.


Dude I already debunked your black and white views by email.

I asked you a question: Do you know a lot of Russian guys in Russia who complain that local girls are unapproachable and antisocial? Show me one! NONE of the Russian guys say that! But many American guys do. That right there DEBUNKS your notion that all women are the same and treat all local guys the same. Sheesh. When will you ever open your little mind?

Furthermore, your main points have already been debunked in this thread about you. Please read it and address them there.
http://www.happierabroad.com/phpBB2/vie ... php?t=8208
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Postby skeptic » Thu Jul 29, 2010 11:35 pm

Winston wrote:I asked you a question: Do you know a lot of Russian guys in Russia who complain that local girls are unapproachable and antisocial? Show me one! NONE of the Russian guys say that! But many American guys do. That right there DEBUNKS your notion that all women are the same and treat all local guys the same.


Did you search the entire Russian Federation for such a guy? The fact that they haven't come up with their own website does not mean they don't exist. I'll try to find some free time for such a search. And I'm sure your Russian is too limited for doing such a research yourself.
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who cares?

Postby have2fly » Tue Aug 03, 2010 10:11 pm

Jeez, who cares if there are guys in Russia who don't like their girls? The point is, guys from Russia don't really go anywhere abroad to find a wife. At least I have not heard or seen such trend. Usually if you are a better looking, better educated, more financially stable (rich) - you get a better looking girl in Russia-Ukraine. Yes, girls do value money, looks and education as anywhere else in the world. But supply is amazing, I would say in Eastern Ukraine any large city would have 20% of girls age 18-35 just pure models, about 50% would be very pretty-just good looking and about 20% would be average and 10% ugly and/or a little fat. Keep in mind, there is no obesity epidemic in Ukraine or Russia, so choices are much better.

As far as guys who are losers in USA or Ukraine, in Ukraine girls marry a guy with decent looks because he loves them and is romantic towards them. She would be stunning gorgeous and he would be just average guy. There are many women who would say "It's Okay, he is not rich, but he will make it to the top with my help". Basically, many women see guys they marry as husband material, they are willing to invest their time and life into him to get him developed and help his career. Wow - show me an American girl who would dare to say such stuff. If you don't have something - "see ya later", they dump you right away.
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Postby Winston » Thu Aug 05, 2010 1:13 am

I'm not saying that there aren't guys in Russia who don't like their girls. I'm challenging skeptic to find average to decent guys in Russia who say that they can't meet ANY girls at all or get any dates because the girls are all antisocial and won't even talk to them, like many here claim with American girls.

That is my challenge to him. If he can't find any, then it proves my point.
Check out the latest posts in our blog The Happier Abroaders.

Don't forget my HA Grand Ebook and Dating Sites!

"It takes far less effort to find and move to the society that has what you want than it does to try to reconstruct an existing society to match your standards." - Harry Browne, How I Found Freedom in an Unfree World
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