10 Surprises for Asians who think America is open and expressive

[josephty2]

Asian immigrants who hated some aspects of their Asian culture such as:

- School Uniforms required in K-12 even public school

- lack of eye contact, excessive "Show Face" rules

- too much emphasis on cuteness

- conformity (like what you said Asians are too conformist)

Other reasons not related to culture:

- lack of job opportunities

- not vibing with the Asian homeland personality / culture

- criminal record or mental illness stigma or being autistic (just imagine immigrant who is autistic back in home country but it went away when they immigrated) or having allergies or being bullied

- being shorter height than average

Winston, you are shorter height than average, you are not vibing with San Francisco California culture (where you grew up in). So you decided to try Russia then the Phillipines then China. Impressive how you managed to make a living off of a dating website. Sadly you couldn't get a pernmanet residence visa to either of the 3 countries.

[Winston]

Actually i have a compatriot visa to China that allows me to stay as long as i want. So its like a resident visa.

[josephty2]

I always wonder Winston, why you never bothered to practice running (sport) when you were in United States of America. You would lose weight after a lot of exercise. In fact, I haven't done running since high school and of course after high school I put on the pounds. I'm gonna start running again soon.

[Outcast9428]

I think the problem with America is that America fundamentally has an identity crisis and doesn't know what it wants to be.

The thing about countries like Japan and Taiwan, is that they may be shy and closed off, but they are self aware of this fact so they structure their social norms to make life a lot easier for people who have that personality to have social relationships anyway. America, on the other hand, is becoming an increasingly closed off country while simultaneously being more and more in denial about it. America is a very difficult place to be shy and introverted because the culture does not think of itself that way. American society values confidence and assertiveness a lot. You are expected to simply push past your anxieties and be a confident person. However, how is a person supposed to act this way in such a judgmental environment? America has an idea of what it wants to be but no idea what social conditions actually create the kind of culture they want to be. America has no self-awareness regarding its flaws, and that's probably the biggest issue with this country.

The Japanese, on the other hand, are very self aware of how shy and reserved they are. Even if they are a closed off society, having that self-awareness goes a long way towards making life a lot more livable there.

As for Latin American countries, it is true that they are very open and expressive, but if you are not an open and expressive person yourself, then its going to be extremely difficult for you to adjust to that kind of environment. I watched a reality TV show featuring people from Brazil for example, and the people who got voted off the show the quickest were the shy people who were afraid to open up to the others. To be honest, the Brazilians seemed just as judgmental if not more then Americans are. But Latin American countries value social confidence even more then America does. Especially when it comes to dating and sex. Latin America infamously has a machismo culture that values bad boys who act sexually aggressive towards women. Latin American countries expect men to be confident while seducing women into bed. The high crime rate of Latin America doesn't come from nowhere. A big part of it is because a culture valuing that kind of aggressive machismo in regards to sexual seduction goes hand in hand with cultures that suffer from high crime rates because men who are violent criminals find it a much easier culture to thrive in. Ultimately, Latin American countries just expect people to be much more risk taking then America or Asian countries do. They expect you to expose yourself and potentially get beat up for it, then pick yourself back up and expose yourself again. America, meanwhile, pretends you won't actually get beaten up if you expose yourself. While Asian countries just don't expect you to expose yourself.

The opposite, of course, are the Asian countries where the kind of bad boy aggression/confidence you see in America and Latin America is the most stigmatized and Asian countries also have the lowest crime rates. I think its kind of sad that a lot of Asians don't feel more proud of their countries. Asian countries have achieved a lot of things that US outcasts find enviable. They are, for example, the only countries out there where being a bad boy legitimately doesn't seem to work at all on the girls. And lots of girls in Asian countries like nerdy hobbies and are into nerdy guys. You see very cute girls in Japan who go to anime conventions and cosplay whereas in the US, almost all the girls who are into stuff like that are unattractive.

[aspiabc]

I think the problem with America is that America fundamentally has an identity crisis and doesn't know what it wants to be.

..

The opposite, of course, are the Asian countries where the kind of bad boy aggression/confidence you see in America and Latin America is the most stigmatized and Asian countries also have the lowest crime rates. I think its kind of sad that a lot of Asians don't feel more proud of their countries. Asian countries have achieved a lot of things that US outcasts find enviable. They are, for example, the only countries out there where being a bad boy legitimately doesn't seem to work at all on the girls. And lots of girls in Asian countries like nerdy hobbies and are into nerdy guys. You see very cute girls in Japan who go to anime conventions and cosplay whereas in the US, almost all the girls who are into stuff like that are unattractive.

I think your entire post is an interesting and a probably good summary analysis of these regions' social culture norms as it relates to dating and how their respective women see and judge personality types of males. I'm curious what are your thoughts related to this post also of the european (central european/northern european/british), slavic, and russian and former russian bloc countries like Belarus and Ukraine?

[Outcast9428]

I think the problem with America is that America fundamentally has an identity crisis and doesn't know what it wants to be.

..

The opposite, of course, are the Asian countries where the kind of bad boy aggression/confidence you see in America and Latin America is the most stigmatized and Asian countries also have the lowest crime rates. I think its kind of sad that a lot of Asians don't feel more proud of their countries. Asian countries have achieved a lot of things that US outcasts find enviable. They are, for example, the only countries out there where being a bad boy legitimately doesn't seem to work at all on the girls. And lots of girls in Asian countries like nerdy hobbies and are into nerdy guys. You see very cute girls in Japan who go to anime conventions and cosplay whereas in the US, almost all the girls who are into stuff like that are unattractive.

I think your entire post is an interesting and a probably good summary analysis of these regions' social culture norms as it relates to dating and how their respective women see and judge personality types of males. I'm curious what are your thoughts related to this post also of the european (central european/northern european/british), slavic, and russian and former russian bloc countries like Belarus and Ukraine?

A friend of mine says he has an even tougher time dating Western European women then he does American women. In America, there's a big divide between how women from the cities behave, how women from the suburbs behave, and how women from rural areas behave. I can say without a shadow of a doubt that talking to rural American women is like talking to a completely different species of women. However, the people I know from Western Europe say there isn't nearly as big of a divide there between the behavior of people in the cities vs outside them. A friend of mine who lives in Britain hates British women. Absolutely cannot stand them.

Eastern Europe, on the other hand, is very different. Eastern Europe is almost like America in the 1960s these days. Another friend of mine said he knew somebody who moved to Ukraine and got married within a year. He says that Eastern European women respond better to gentlemanly behavior then women in Western Europe and North America do. I've heard of some people who didn't have the best time in Eastern Europe, but I've also heard many others say they don't want to leave there because the culture is so much better. Personally, I'd love to go down to Hungary and see for myself how good of a job Viktor Orban is doing.

[Tsar]

Actually i have a compatriot visa to China that allows me to stay as long as i want. So its like a resident visa.

Is that because you are also a citizen of Taiwan and China claims Taiwan as a territory of China?

[Tsar]

But Latin American countries value social confidence even more then America does. Especially when it comes to dating and sex. Latin America infamously has a machismo culture that values bad boys who act sexually aggressive towards women. Latin American countries expect men to be confident while seducing women into bed. The high crime rate of Latin America doesn't come from nowhere. A big part of it is because a culture valuing that kind of aggressive machismo in regards to sexual seduction goes hand in hand with cultures that suffer from high crime rates because men who are violent criminals find it a much easier culture to thrive in. Ultimately, Latin American countries just expect people to be much more risk taking then America or Asian countries do. They expect you to expose yourself and potentially get beat up for it, then pick yourself back up and expose yourself again.

Does that mean you think an introvert like me likely wouldn't do well anywhere with Latinas? I seem to do okay online with Latinas... better than Europeans (EU) and Americans at least...

[MrMan]

But Latin American countries value social confidence even more then America does. Especially when it comes to dating and sex. Latin America infamously has a machismo culture that values bad boys who act sexually aggressive towards women. Latin American countries expect men to be confident while seducing women into bed. The high crime rate of Latin America doesn't come from nowhere. A big part of it is because a culture valuing that kind of aggressive machismo in regards to sexual seduction goes hand in hand with cultures that suffer from high crime rates because men who are violent criminals find it a much easier culture to thrive in. Ultimately, Latin American countries just expect people to be much more risk taking then America or Asian countries do. They expect you to expose yourself and potentially get beat up for it, then pick yourself back up and expose yourself again.

Does that mean you think an introvert like me likely wouldn't do well anywhere with Latinas? I seem to do okay online with Latinas... better than Europeans (EU) and Americans at least...

I would imagine there is a young virgin Latina somewhere who likes introverted men who aren't into machismo. Latin America is a big place.

[Outcast9428]

But Latin American countries value social confidence even more then America does. Especially when it comes to dating and sex. Latin America infamously has a machismo culture that values bad boys who act sexually aggressive towards women. Latin American countries expect men to be confident while seducing women into bed. The high crime rate of Latin America doesn't come from nowhere. A big part of it is because a culture valuing that kind of aggressive machismo in regards to sexual seduction goes hand in hand with cultures that suffer from high crime rates because men who are violent criminals find it a much easier culture to thrive in. Ultimately, Latin American countries just expect people to be much more risk taking then America or Asian countries do. They expect you to expose yourself and potentially get beat up for it, then pick yourself back up and expose yourself again.

Does that mean you think an introvert like me likely wouldn't do well anywhere with Latinas? I seem to do okay online with Latinas... better than Europeans (EU) and Americans at least...

It’s worth a try. I imagine you’d be top tier to the girls who aren’t into that like MrMan said. American men tend to have high status overseas.

[Winston]

I think the problem with America is that America fundamentally has an identity crisis and doesn't know what it wants to be.

The thing about countries like Japan and Taiwan, is that they may be shy and closed off, but they are self aware of this fact so they structure their social norms to make life a lot easier for people who have that personality to have social relationships anyway. America, on the other hand, is becoming an increasingly closed off country while simultaneously being more and more in denial about it. America is a very difficult place to be shy and introverted because the culture does not think of itself that way. American society values confidence and assertiveness a lot. You are expected to simply push past your anxieties and be a confident person. However, how is a person supposed to act this way in such a judgmental environment? America has an idea of what it wants to be but no idea what social conditions actually create the kind of culture they want to be. America has no self-awareness regarding its flaws, and that's probably the biggest issue with this country.

The Japanese, on the other hand, are very self aware of how shy and reserved they are. Even if they are a closed off society, having that self-awareness goes a long way towards making life a lot more livable there.

As for Latin American countries, it is true that they are very open and expressive, but if you are not an open and expressive person yourself, then its going to be extremely difficult for you to adjust to that kind of environment. I watched a reality TV show featuring people from Brazil for example, and the people who got voted off the show the quickest were the shy people who were afraid to open up to the others. To be honest, the Brazilians seemed just as judgmental if not more then Americans are. But Latin American countries value social confidence even more then America does. Especially when it comes to dating and sex. Latin America infamously has a machismo culture that values bad boys who act sexually aggressive towards women. Latin American countries expect men to be confident while seducing women into bed. The high crime rate of Latin America doesn't come from nowhere. A big part of it is because a culture valuing that kind of aggressive machismo in regards to sexual seduction goes hand in hand with cultures that suffer from high crime rates because men who are violent criminals find it a much easier culture to thrive in. Ultimately, Latin American countries just expect people to be much more risk taking then America or Asian countries do. They expect you to expose yourself and potentially get beat up for it, then pick yourself back up and expose yourself again. America, meanwhile, pretends you won't actually get beaten up if you expose yourself. While Asian countries just don't expect you to expose yourself.

The opposite, of course, are the Asian countries where the kind of bad boy aggression/confidence you see in America and Latin America is the most stigmatized and Asian countries also have the lowest crime rates. I think its kind of sad that a lot of Asians don't feel more proud of their countries. Asian countries have achieved a lot of things that US outcasts find enviable. They are, for example, the only countries out there where being a bad boy legitimately doesn't seem to work at all on the girls. And lots of girls in Asian countries like nerdy hobbies and are into nerdy guys. You see very cute girls in Japan who go to anime conventions and cosplay whereas in the US, almost all the girls who are into stuff like that are unattractive.

Rock told me this is a very insightful post. How do you know so much about culture comparisons when you are in your early 20s and never been abroad? Wow. You must have insight and empathy. I should post the above observations in my blog. Is that ok?

It sounds like I would fit into Latin America. I am allowed to be confident there and openly flirt. So I can be myself more.

[Winston]

Actually i have a compatriot visa to China that allows me to stay as long as i want. So its like a resident visa.

Is that because you are also a citizen of Taiwan and China claims Taiwan as a territory of China?

Yes. Also China wants more Taiwan citizens to go to China and become more Chinese so the cultures can blend and integrate together as one someday. China hopes for peaceful unification of course. No one wants violence or invasions. Opening business relations is a way to unify both cultures. However, Taiwanese customs do not allow mainland Chinese to enter without a permit. They also have to join some type of guided tour too. So it's not fair both ways. Many Chinese have complained about that. But this isn't a fair world anyway.

[Winston]

I think the problem with America is that America fundamentally has an identity crisis and doesn't know what it wants to be.

..

The opposite, of course, are the Asian countries where the kind of bad boy aggression/confidence you see in America and Latin America is the most stigmatized and Asian countries also have the lowest crime rates. I think its kind of sad that a lot of Asians don't feel more proud of their countries. Asian countries have achieved a lot of things that US outcasts find enviable. They are, for example, the only countries out there where being a bad boy legitimately doesn't seem to work at all on the girls. And lots of girls in Asian countries like nerdy hobbies and are into nerdy guys. You see very cute girls in Japan who go to anime conventions and cosplay whereas in the US, almost all the girls who are into stuff like that are unattractive.

I think your entire post is an interesting and a probably good summary analysis of these regions' social culture norms as it relates to dating and how their respective women see and judge personality types of males. I'm curious what are your thoughts related to this post also of the european (central european/northern european/british), slavic, and russian and former russian bloc countries like Belarus and Ukraine?

A friend of mine says he has an even tougher time dating Western European women then he does American women. In America, there's a big divide between how women from the cities behave, how women from the suburbs behave, and how women from rural areas behave. I can say without a shadow of a doubt that talking to rural American women is like talking to a completely different species of women. However, the people I know from Western Europe say there isn't nearly as big of a divide there between the behavior of people in the cities vs outside them. A friend of mine who lives in Britain hates British women. Absolutely cannot stand them.

Eastern Europe, on the other hand, is very different. Eastern Europe is almost like America in the 1960s these days. Another friend of mine said he knew somebody who moved to Ukraine and got married within a year. He says that Eastern European women respond better to gentlemanly behavior then women in Western Europe and North America do. I've heard of some people who didn't have the best time in Eastern Europe, but I've also heard many others say they don't want to leave there because the culture is so much better. Personally, I'd love to go down to Hungary and see for myself how good of a job Viktor Orban is doing.

One thing to keep in mind that in Eastern Europe and Russia, bad boys and jerks are a dime a dozen. Nothing special. So if you are a nice guy who is gentlemenly, you stand out as refreshing and a breath of fresh air to the women there. That gives the nice guy an advantage for sure. Also, Euro girls tend to be very open minded and adventurous and full of curiosity, so they like getting to know you just for the heck of it, even if they aren't into you romantically. Those are things in our favor. In America, women tend to lack curiosity and don't like anyone different than them or not their type. So it's a different mentality.

[Outcast9428]

I think the problem with America is that America fundamentally has an identity crisis and doesn't know what it wants to be.

The thing about countries like Japan and Taiwan, is that they may be shy and closed off, but they are self aware of this fact so they structure their social norms to make life a lot easier for people who have that personality to have social relationships anyway. America, on the other hand, is becoming an increasingly closed off country while simultaneously being more and more in denial about it. America is a very difficult place to be shy and introverted because the culture does not think of itself that way. American society values confidence and assertiveness a lot. You are expected to simply push past your anxieties and be a confident person. However, how is a person supposed to act this way in such a judgmental environment? America has an idea of what it wants to be but no idea what social conditions actually create the kind of culture they want to be. America has no self-awareness regarding its flaws, and that's probably the biggest issue with this country.

The Japanese, on the other hand, are very self aware of how shy and reserved they are. Even if they are a closed off society, having that self-awareness goes a long way towards making life a lot more livable there.

As for Latin American countries, it is true that they are very open and expressive, but if you are not an open and expressive person yourself, then its going to be extremely difficult for you to adjust to that kind of environment. I watched a reality TV show featuring people from Brazil for example, and the people who got voted off the show the quickest were the shy people who were afraid to open up to the others. To be honest, the Brazilians seemed just as judgmental if not more then Americans are. But Latin American countries value social confidence even more then America does. Especially when it comes to dating and sex. Latin America infamously has a machismo culture that values bad boys who act sexually aggressive towards women. Latin American countries expect men to be confident while seducing women into bed. The high crime rate of Latin America doesn't come from nowhere. A big part of it is because a culture valuing that kind of aggressive machismo in regards to sexual seduction goes hand in hand with cultures that suffer from high crime rates because men who are violent criminals find it a much easier culture to thrive in. Ultimately, Latin American countries just expect people to be much more risk taking then America or Asian countries do. They expect you to expose yourself and potentially get beat up for it, then pick yourself back up and expose yourself again. America, meanwhile, pretends you won't actually get beaten up if you expose yourself. While Asian countries just don't expect you to expose yourself.

The opposite, of course, are the Asian countries where the kind of bad boy aggression/confidence you see in America and Latin America is the most stigmatized and Asian countries also have the lowest crime rates. I think its kind of sad that a lot of Asians don't feel more proud of their countries. Asian countries have achieved a lot of things that US outcasts find enviable. They are, for example, the only countries out there where being a bad boy legitimately doesn't seem to work at all on the girls. And lots of girls in Asian countries like nerdy hobbies and are into nerdy guys. You see very cute girls in Japan who go to anime conventions and cosplay whereas in the US, almost all the girls who are into stuff like that are unattractive.

Rock told me this is a very insightful post. How do you know so much about culture comparisons when you are in your early 20s and never been abroad? Wow. You must have insight and empathy. I should post the above observations in my blog. Is that ok?

It sounds like I would fit into Latin America. I am allowed to be confident there and openly flirt. So I can be myself more.

Actually I have been abroad a number of times but I’ll admit most of my information isn’t coming from that since it was mainly family vacations.

Studying the cultures of the world and of history has been a life long obsession of mine since about 5th or 6th grade. I get most of my information through reading other expats experiences in foreign countries, reading the experiences of locals living there, going over statistical information about countries and general articles talking about their cultures, and then contrasting it with my own experiences in the US or with meeting people from foreign countries. I’ve gone on a lot of forums with a highly international user base so I’ve talked with a lot of different people. Back in college I couldn’t stand most of the other students so pretty much everybody I hung out with were foreign exchange students because they thought and behaved a lot differently from the average students.

I also watch a lot of foreign media. I’ve watched films made in Latin America, European countries, and I’ve seen the most stuff by far from Japan and you notice a lot of the cultural differences that expats and locals are talking about when watching the TV shows or movies made by other countries. With Japanese media for example I notice that the pickup artist character is practically non-existent in their TV shows. Nearly every time male characters have sex its within romantic relationships and typically initiated by the girl. I talked with a Japanese guy and he did say that most guys in Japan are really shy so girls end up needing to initiate a lot of that stuff. I can also say as of personal experience that the only time a girl has approached me in broad daylight, got my phone number and asked me on a date was a Japanese foreign exchange girl. So basically, if everything lines up with one another thats when I feel pretty certain that the cultural comparison is accurate.