Upgrading Your Misfit Status to that of a Rich Expat

[ladislav]

"Russians call me German, Germans call me Russian, Jews call me a Christian, Christians a Jew. Pianists call me a composer, composers call me a pianist. The classicists think me a futurist, and the futurists call me a reactionary. My conclusion is that I am neither fish nor fowl – a pitiful individual".

Anton Rubinstein, a great Russian pianist born in what is now Moldova.

(I must add that if he went to the US, Americans would call him a Moldovan and Moldovans would call him an American)

And my article is about people like this.

Upgrading the Status of Wretched First and Second Generation Immigrants, Socially Displaced Persons and Other "Misfits"

There is a small percentage of world population which I would term socially displaced people. These people are strangers everywhere they go, are unneeded as friends and lovers and are lonely as all get out. In this article, I would like to show how we can improve their lot by making them multipatriate- i. e, residents of more than one country, and how we can upgrade them to an Expat status which is an honorable title in many parts of the world. I will only talk about those misfits who are citizens of the Western world but who cannot enjoy its social benefits. These are usually 1st and 2nd generation immigrants, naturalized citizens, people of color and other persons who, for one reason or other are termed misfits by the society that surrounds them; they are mostly males and mostly young.

Think Palestinians for one. A very unfortunate group- they have no citizenship, the land which they lived on was taken be people “returning� from a 2000 year old exile, and few nations around them want them. Those fortunate enough to get to the West are not particularly well treated by the local population there, either. Sure, in many a Western country they qualify for welfare and student aid and other social programs, and can progress professionally and financially. They can finally attain Western citizenship. However, many suffer from a social stigma that the Western society puts on them. They are accused of being terrorists, experience discrimination on the job market, and most often than not, rejection in the mainstream daily social life. People do not want to befriend them; girls do not want to date them. Becoming and being an immigrant is not a picnic, period, how much worse is it if you are of an unpopular ethnicity and origin?

Even before we talk about them being former Palestinians, it is important to note that “immigrant� is not a good term or a good word to begin with. It sounds bad. Immigrant ,basically, means trouble, poverty, being unwelcome (again, socially, not politically, as most Western countries have excellent democratic institutions that will enable those people to have equal rights under the law). But law is one thing, while how people feel about becoming your friend and associating with you is another thing. Once an immigrant particularly from a non Western nation, one will often forever be referred to as such long after he has become a citizen of those Western societies.

Things are especially bad if they belong to a group that is routinely vilified in movies or on the news :think of being a young Arab American man in the US, an Iranian, or a Russian. These groups are constantly shown in bad light in the media, and even though many people know that media does not tell the truth, still, negative messages are subliminally injected into people’s brains and negative associations are created. In the case such immigrants arrive young, they will be picked on and teased by other kids and many (again not all) will be severely traumatized by such experiences.

Take an Arab citizen of Israel. They do not belong there and do not particularly belong anywhere else. They can move to the West and prosper professionally, but they will probably never obtain any serious social status or be “popular� there. “Some�- the instrumental word is ‘some’, may do OK, but most will remain on the margins, socially speaking. So, being an Israeli Arab in Israel is bad, it is bad to be one in Arab countries- you are seen as a traitor, and it is not a good thing to be one in the USA as you may suffer from a double- anti-semitism. Many girls in the US, UK, Canada, would not want to date an Arab.

So, if you are a young Israeli Arab man, you will, most probably, have a tough life in many places, including the West.

Young Russian ladies are a delicious morsel sought by many a love hungry Western man. If you are a young Russian woman in France, USA, Canada, Australia, you have got it made. Guys will be all over you. Now, what if you are a young Russian man? How will you do? Most Western women will probably run away from you thinking you Mafia, Communist, wife beater and alcoholic. Russian guys in the US do not do very well. Russian girls are not threats and they do very, very nicely. Being a Russian man anywhere in the West usually means- no girl!

I am happy for those who have not suffered from such social prejudices and I hope they continue their happy lives forever. But this article is not about them. It is about those guys who because of an ‘unpopular’ ethnic background have not been able to enjoy a normal social life that includes the simple rights to be able to make normal friends in the country where you live and to have a girl.

Here are some examples that I am quite familiar with: Pakistani Brits for one. These guys are neither fish nor fowl. Indians and Pakistanis call them� Brits� while ‘real’ Brits call them Indians and Pakistanis. You can also include Bosnian Serbs into the same category. In Bosnia, the other ethnic groups were killing them for being Serbs, but in Serbia they call them ‘Bosnians’. Indians in Uganda, who were kicked out by Idi Amin did not go back to India, but ended up in the UK. Ugandan Blacks called them ‘Indians’, the UK people called them Ugandans. Again, they become a neither-fish-nor-fowl kind of people when they move to the West. If you are a young man in a similar situation, the main effect that you will feel will be social- hard to make friends, hard to get a girl to date you.

There are other refugees to the West who cannot go back to the country of origin, sometimes because they were expelled for political views, sometimes because of wrong ancestry and their old country now being occupied by an ethnic group of another ancestry, sometimes because they are stuck in a country that became independent and they or their parents are not of the dominant race there ( such as Russians who are stuck in the Baltic countries, or Germans who got stuck in Poland once, or Greeks who got stuck in Turkey sometime back, etc. Once they become dating age men in the West, they do not usually do very well. Too poor, too recent, unpopular countries; therefore, not seen as good dating partners by local girls.

In addition to the above, there are the traditional visible minorities in the West who had been born and bread there, but who do not feel they belong to the mainstream culture and who feel that they are discriminated against. They can be children of immigrants, they can be indigenous people or they can be people who just look different. Asian Americans? Indian Americans? There are many such people, and the greatest misfits and the loneliest among them seem to be their young men. Women who are ‘different’ are often seen as exotic, and in many (again not all) cases, eventually, they meet a mainstream male who will take them under his protective wing. Or they end up marrying a successful guy from their own community. It seems that women have got it easier as a rule, especially those under 40, but even after 40, they still have better chances than men of fitting in. The above is my observation and I can be wrong. But that is what I have seen and this is what I am sharing with you. In immigrant communities men almost always seem to outnumber women,

Anyway, assuming that you are one of such people, are young ( or young at heart) male and unmarried, and you arrived (or had been born) in the West, you feel lonely and do not sense that you fit in no matter what you do, and you cannot go back to “ your country� , you have several choices:

1) Keep trying to fit in. Good luck, but, in most cases, it is like squaring the circle. You will never completely fit in.
2) Stay with your own race- a very primitive, defeatist, and not a good solution because in most immigrant communities, women are stuck up ( if you are not rich) and many do not like to be around you as they would rather either get a rich local and join the mainstream whatever that or get a richer immigrant man. In addition to that, enclosing yourself within your own group also contributes to the development of your own form of Apartheid, which I think we should all be against.
3) Concentrate on making money and getting a good education. Not a bad idea and it can somewhat improve your social life, but my feeling is, this solution has limitations, too, particularly if you are planning on staying on where you are. The main being is that you may run out of time and get very frustrated from all the competition and all the nasty, selfish people that you will be meeting in spite of your education.
4) Find a "poorer" country and go and live there. You will see your social status skyrocket. Upgrade yourself. Bump yourself up from an “immigrant� or an unpopular ethnicity, to a “Western Expat�. Upgrade yourself from a “Black guy� or “an Asian guy� to an “American�; from a “Vietnamese Refugee� to an ‘Australian� , from a “Maori� to a ‘ New Zealander’, from a “Paki� to ‘a guy from England’. You will be able to achieve that if you go to a so called Third World country. You will have friends up the ying yang and more girls that you cold shake a stick at. You will learn to use inter-ethnic and inter-country differences to your advantage and not against you.

In case of #4, the only thing standing between you and a rich social life is a bit of money. The trick is being able to make a living in hard currency, and in just, generally, having enough cash to carry the whole thing out. But if you are in the West now and are a citizen of the West,this absolutely can be done because the West is all about financial opportunities. Think hard and take advantage of those so that later you can take advantage of social opportunities in the ‘cheaper worlds�.

Let me present you with some hypothetical case studies:

a) Juan is from a poor Puerto Rican family in New York. He does not feel he belongs in the mainstream US culture because of prejudices against his ethnicity, and he feels that living in Puerto Rico would be beyond his means. Yup, Puerto Rico is very expensive. In New York he would often get into fights and called all sorts of names. He had few friends and no girlfriends. There are more Puerto Rican guys than girls in the city and he could never successfully compete for one. He was also often denied friendships from non Puerto Rican guys, and dating opportunities from non Puerto Rican girls as many do not like Puerto Rican men in NY. He was born and raised there, but suffered from discrimination nonetheless. He then decided to become a computer programmer, studied hard, got his license, and started working online. He then moved to Honduras, where he immediately became an American Latino, very welcome, with oodles of friends, people inviting him to parties, girls seeking him out, thus solving his ostracism problem pretty much immediately upon moving there. He is planning on making his social home in Honduras for the rest of his life now (or until he finds another country that he likes) while taking advantage of the business opportunities in the USA at the same time.

b) Omar has been socially and politically displaced. He is a Palestinian man who immigrated to Detroit from the West bank. He loves and appreciates America, and is now a US citizen. He has found though, that again, there is social prejudice against him, and he has trouble dating American girls and making friends with other Americans because he is an Arab. He may love America with all his heart and think that the US gov't is the most generous of all, but not many rank and file American people are particularly friendly to him.

He saves up money, learns Spanish and moves to Colombia. Immediately he becomes aware of a 180 degree change in the social atmosphere around him. He is surrounded by warm, friendly people, meets a beautiful girl and gets married to her, opens a restaurant and lives a good life. He is no longer bitter, and assimilates himself into the society with no further problems. His status is high as he is now a rich expat, not a poor immigrant from a bad country. He has not moved out of the US completely as America provides him with excellent credit and investment opportunities- he owns a house and gets a small rent from it, has a big credit line and is able to utilize it in developing his restaurant business with his gorgeous young wife in Medelllin.

c) Yasif is a Pakistani Brit, and he also feels like a socially displaced person. He has a passion for beautiful blond women, but no good English girl wants to date a ‘bloody Paki�, a “miserable wog�. He does not fit in in Pakistan either, as he is completely British by culture.

No matter how much he tries to find a good English blond girl, there is always an invisible barrier that he runs into which is intensified by the fact that the English people stubbornly tell him that they are not racist while in fact they are. He was born in England, and has a British passport.

So, he yearns for social interaction and the company of beautiful blond women and wants to be around the people that accept and respect him. Upon advice of a well wisher, he gets a certificate in TEFL (Teaching English as a Foreign Language) and moves to Riga, Latvia. Immediately, he is “upgraded�- from a “Wog�, he becomes a “Brit�. Gorgeous blond girls line up to dance with him because he is from England. He eventually ends up having a girlfriend who looks more beautiful than Marilyn Monroe and Britney Spears put together. He has a EU nationality and can stay in Latvia forever. Problem solved. He goes to England several times a year on business and to visit his parents, but his social home is now in Latvia.

I could continue with more examples and among these would be:

d) A black American guy who moves to Ethiopia and becomes a star with local ladies.
e) A poor ethnic German, originally from Romania, who had immigrated to Canada but who is now living as a rich Canadian expat in the Philippines.
f) An ethnic Indonesian Chinese who moves to Thailand where his Chinese ancestry is no longer something you can get killed for, but is, actually, a big plus.
g) An ethnic Russian from Kazakhstan, went to the US, got his US passport, but now spends most of his time in Brazil. He is no longer teased about being a Commie, a Borat, or snubbed by American girls, as he is now a rich “Gringo� in Brazil. Every 18 year old mulatto girl wants him and the feeling is mutual.

If you are a young or not so young single man, a “neither fish nor fowl� person or if you feel that you have a low status where you are no matter what you try, there is a place where you belong. You will just have to find it. Once you find that place and have the financial wherewithal to move there and spend time there, you will be able to upgrade your status as soon as your airplane touches its soil.

In spite of all the benefits of being ‘there; I would like to caution you that it would be unwise to ever give up your first world citizenship and totally move into that other welcoming place. Third world countries are unstable and unpredictable.

Also, if you are a naturalized Western national, you most probably gave an oath stating that you want to live in the US and Canada, NZ, OZ, permanently. So, it is imperative that you go back to the 1st world regularly, at least once a year and re-establish your “political� presence there, take care of all the business and financial/practical benefits there, while your heart firmly remains in your new found heaven where an un-belonging misfit like yourself, a minority, a socially displaced unwanted element is miraculously upgraded to a 1st world expat social position complete with honor, friends, and beautiful girls. What else would anyone need?

Plant your tree in the 1st world, rest in the shade in the developing worlds. An “otherworldly “ solution to an insidious problem.

[Winston]

Another excellent chapter to add to "Expatriate Observations"!

[Rock]

Lad's strategy makes a lot more sense than the advice of a lot of short sighted America bashers who just recommend selling all possessions and relocating permanently abroad. Happier abroad is a tailor made solution which should account for the person's current country of citizenship/residency, race/ethnicity, financial resources, age, language skills, and personality type. Its not a one size fits all remedy such as just go to the Philippines, probably not the best country for a lot of people.

And in case you are not already quite well-off, a first world passport and working rights are valuable assets in their own right, one of your 2 key attractions to poor 3rd world girls, the other being the assets you were able to accumulate from the first world.

A couple years ago, I considered revoking my US passport for Taiwan citizenship. These days, Taiwan passport gets visa free travel to many countries including those in the EU. And for most practical purposes, Taiwan has made it into the ranks of a developed country. Ultimately, I decided against it for the following reasons:

- China issue makes Taiwan's future a bit murky
- US tax liabilities continue being levied on former subjects for 10 years after such revocation
- US might refuse granting me future visas to visit my parents or manage their domestic assets

Also, of all first world passports, the US version is potentially the most expensive given that we are the only developed nation to tax citizens and green card holders on their worldwide income, even that earned by overseas residents.

[NorthAmericanguy]

Good post, and I agree that poor young men have a hard time apposed to poor young girls.

As far as Arabs, and other people who have no homeland (ie gypsies), the thing is, Arabs are a mixed breed of nomadic sheep herders in western Asia who never had a homeland.

[ladislav]

Good post, and I agree that poor young men have a hard time apposed to poor young girls.

As far as Arabs, and other people who have no homeland (ie gypsies), the thing is, Arabs are a mixed breed of nomadic sheep herders in western Asia who never had a homeland.

You are referring to bedouins. Not all Arabs were bedouins. Even so, now almost all Arabs, even their Bedouins have proper passports and proper nationalities/citizenships and are either Egyptians or Saudis, etc. Palestinians do not have a proper State and a proper citizenship. There is no Palestinian passport that they can travel on.

[Winston]

Lad's strategy makes a lot more sense than the advice of a lot of short sighted America bashers who just recommend selling all possessions and relocating permanently abroad. Happier abroad is a tailor made solution which should account for the person's current country of citizenship/residency, race/ethnicity, financial resources, age, language skills, and personality type. Its not a one size fits all remedy such as just go to the Philippines, probably not the best country for a lot of people.

And in case you are not already quite well-off, a first world passport and working rights are valuable assets in their own right, one of your 2 key attractions to poor 3rd world girls, the other being the assets you were able to accumulate from the first world.

A couple years ago, I considered revoking my US passport for Taiwan citizenship. These days, Taiwan passport gets visa free travel to many countries including those in the EU. And for most practical purposes, Taiwan has made it into the ranks of a developed country. Ultimately, I decided against it for the following reasons:

- China issue makes Taiwan's future a bit murky
- US tax liabilities continue being levied on former subjects for 10 years after such revocation
- US might refuse granting me future visas to visit my parents or manage their domestic assets

Also, of all first world passports, the US version is potentially the most expensive given that we are the only developed nation to tax citizens and green card holders on their worldwide income, even that earned by overseas residents.

True. There is no "one size/solution fits all". That is why I don't give too much how-to advice on this site. Instead, I inspire people with possibilities and then direct the to this forum to ask for advice on their specific situation.

I heard that Taiwan passports can only stay in the EU for a short time. You can just take a bus to a neighboring country in the EU and re-enter and get another 3 month visa like you can with a US passport.