Some advice for Winston from "NotStickman"

[Grunt]

I used to be a regular over at http://www.mangosauce.com before it went under. I was never a big fan of http://www.stickmanbangkok.com but I do like his "opposite number", NotStickman at http://notstickmanbangkok.com/

This is classic 101 on how to deal with Asian cultures through marriage. Its spot on and utterly bulletproof, thus its virtually guaranteed that Winston will completely ignore it, then come back in a month asking the group why his "girlfriend" kicked him in the balls, and drained his bank account, then had her family gather around and spit in Winstons face then urinate on him.

**********

Short Blurb for Nov 23rd: http://notstickmanbangkok.com/GaltWeekly.htm

Did you see what Stick wrote today? He is always preaching about not getting involved and on this week's installment of the Stickman Weekly, he decides to make a few phone calls for a guy and it turns out to be a mess. Stickman's first thought was to turn a buck on this guy, then he decides to help for free, makes a phone call, and wham, the girl paints Stickman as a hit man and turn her family against her husband.

Dealing with problems in Asia requires a certain level of commitment. You have to be ready to stand front and center and go all the way, or the locals will find a way to run you over. This Mr Canada would need to step it up, but he's already destroyed emotionally and the wife knows it. The culture here in Thailand is guiding her in her actions.... Just like the soi dogs -- when you are down, the pack will attack.

Mr Canada, if you are out there. It's time for you to step it up. Get your paperwork together that you own the house and have purchased the goods. Assuming you have made a portion of the house out of hardwood -- you need to go in a disassemble the house and sell the hard wood out of it. Then, carefully pull the copper out of it, and sell that off as well. The solid roof shingles are new -- market those as well. Pull the doors, windows, the water pump, and all of the other items that can be removed. That is about the best you can do. Get what you can, leave the house a shell of concrete and move on with your life. I would not suggest destroying it -- just remove the items that you purchased.

Incidentally, you have a case for slander against the wife (I know a little bit about this, he he). She has defiled your name by lying about you to her family. You could sue and put them in a more respectful place. I don't think you would get any money out of it, but it would make them respect you a bit more.

Also, your legal options don't stop there. For her to re-marry, you need to sign off on the divorce. Be prepared to negotiate a divorce payment from her IF she creates plans to remarry before you do. Make sure the family knows how to find you so they can contact you and negotiate that final divorce agreement. Don't give the divorce for free unless you have plans to re-marry and it benefits you. After that, ask Stickman to help you get a teaching job. I think Stickman can probably work that up for you.

How many more stories like this one will be reported before foreigners follow common sense about shelling out money to those who don't deserve it? Free money is instant poison to a relationship and clearly the nicest most honest girls can not be trusted to save themselves from it's corruption.

If you want to be successful here, you have to keep an iron fist on your business, money and relationships. That doesn't require you to be ruthless and mean. But, you have to continuously draw the line and follow your policy for transgression when it comes to people.

If you're the boyfriend, you hide your moneys. If you're the boss, you fire the employee when they don't show up for work for several days. If someone has just paid a bill for you -- even if it's your wife -- you look at the receipt. Sorry, this is just the way it goes.

To do anything less shows a sign of weakness and gives others the opportunity to take advantage of you.

Are there people who are exceptions to this rule? Yes, until they grow up and find that they can do better for themselves by following the norm. And the norm is: If a farang is stupid enough to loose control of his money, then take it from him to teach him a lesson.

Most guys who comes here are unhappy with their life and love prospects in the west. They come here emotionally drained and thirty for attention and affection. They find attention in Thailand that wildly exceeds their expectations and they are enthralled with the first attractive girl that comes along. I know how this feels. I felt very strongly about one of the first girls who I met here 8 years ago. She was a Pattaya girl and a nice one at that. I moved to Thailand and we spent my first 7 months here together. And during that time, she got comfortable and pushed her limits. I laid down the law saying to her saying that if she again called any one of her x-boys friends, that I would pack her bags and send her back to Pattaya. And three days later, that is exactly what happened. On the fourth day, she was on her way back to Pattaya. She cried for months to me over the phone. I shed a few tears myself. But, it was a valuable lesson and I made the right decision.

Just how long do you thing that Mr and Mrs Stickman are going to stay married? Stickman is always in the bars and though he says that he doesn't care for it, you and I know that he is lying. Stickman can't honestly say that he at the very least he isn't thinking about having sex with those girls on stage. Just how long will his gallivanting around continue before Mrs Stick puts her foot down and calls an end to this relationship? And when that shit hits the fan, she will sue for 1/2 of the accumulated value in the marriage. She'll further use his web site against him and threaten to expose his illegal work to ruin his teaching job. And why will she do this? Because she can. That is the basically one of the rules of the road here.

In fact, I wouldn't be surprised to find out that the concept of Mrs Stick is just a ruse. Perhaps o'Stickman is making up a marriage just to help his readers buy into fiancée Visa and marriage services that are for sale of his web site. That would be exactly the kind of hoax that Asia is famous for. It's wouldn't be exactly lying to you about these services but the implied endorsement would be a bit under-handed.

Let's see what Stickman brings us next week.... Will it be another Stick-fo-mercial pushing one of his clients and products? Or will it be some goofy expose about the virtues of being married? (clearly that would be a challenge to pull off). Or will he yet again trying to "make like the big dogs" and portray himself as a fellow whore-monger? I guess we can plan on it being another Forest Gump chocolate week.

The Galt

[Winston]

Grunt, there's nothing in that post that I don't already know.

You can't just follow everyone's advice. One needs the wisdom to discern good advice from bad advice.

I can tell someone who is wise and experienced vs. someone who's not. They project a different vibe.

The old expat last night that I talked to gave me much better advice than the one you just posted.

One thing he said that was wise was that one should never tell another person what to do with their life. Only fools and the arrogant do such things. Instead, one should plant suggestions, ask them leading questions, or just be an ear to vent on. Cause that's what people need, is a good listener and a chance to vent.

Advice, both good and bad, by itself cannot fix people's problems. It doesn't work that way, and only the arrogant think it does. Wise people who have learned a lot from life know better.

[Grunt]

Winston, are you even aware that the author of that article has been in Thailand for 8+ years and runs a sucessful business there?

[Winston]

I know expats here who have been here for 30 years and run businesses too. But sometimes they turned out to be wrong, and their advice comes from their point of view and has worked only for them. Experience doesn't always equal wisdom. Sometimes, people who have been here long become jaded and cynical. Should I strive to be like them? Plus, their experiences do not always match mine.

Taking the wrong advice can have disastrous consequences too. Why are you trying to push other people's words onto me like this?

[James G]

Man I was so sad when http://www.mangosauce.com went under

[Grunt]

The "pushing of words" as you say is the prime goal of this forum. It has to be a two way street. You are free to vent your perspectives and choices on us, even if they blatantly lead to misery and suffering. We are likewise free to point out the tragic flaws in your perspectives and choices. Otherwise its just the Winston reality TV show.

[Winston]

The "pushing of words" as you say is the prime goal of this forum. It has to be a two way street. You are free to vent your perspectives and choices on us, even if they blatantly lead to misery and suffering. We are likewise free to point out the tragic flaws in your perspectives and choices. Otherwise its just the Winston reality TV show.

W: This is true. You and the rest of the people here are free to speak your minds and speak what you think is the truth, as long as your intent is not to cause others any pain and suffering. There is no taboo or censorship here, as I said, unless there is a very good reason for it, or if someone is clearly insane beyond a doubt. (e.g. Chemist not being able to distinguish whether 1/100 or 20/100 was higher, and claiming to be able to speak for specific persons that he's never even met nor knows anything about, was clearly insane and could not be reasoned with, for example)

I was just giving you something to consider, that's all. Even professional therapists are taught not to give advice or tell someone what to do, because if it's the wrong advice or doesn't apply to the person's situation, it could do more harm than good, and thus be dangerous. What if I followed the wrong advice and told others that I did the wrong thing because someone told me so? Wouldn't that look stupid?

[Grunt]

I would think even chemist would be able to see you have made some horrible choices that result in profound suffering and confusion. On top of that, you make it a point to repeat the same mistakes over and over and over, expecting a different result...the very definition of insanity.

You may think I am saying these things to "hurt", but its just the opposite. I am trying to warn you in the hopes you snap out of it. I also hope against hope that you will stop being a bad example for guys that come in here seeking guidance.

The driving factor behind seeking happiness abroad is escaping materialistic, immature, manipulative, and evil American females...NOT going overseas and getting hooked up with materialistic, immature, manipulative, evil foreign girls.

Anyhow, I see now you are beyond reasoning with, and that its all a show to keep people reading. If thats the case, go for it, but I dont see the need to comment on the train wreck if the limit of your response is playing dumb and rhetorical grabass games.

[Winston]

Grunt, you probably don't believe that everything happens for a reason. But I do. My choices may be horrible to you, but not to me.

Everyone makes mistakes. It's a part of life. I never pretended to be an angel. But I am still Happier Abroad. And I am happy in general. People who know me admire me and are impressed with my deep reasoning and knowledge. I have no regrets.

I do not see what you are referring to when you say that I am not listening to reason or advice. Can you be more specific? Everything I've done has understandable reasons behind it. I do not commit bad or clumsy blunders. If you look at my writing, you will see that it is very orderly, coherent, and consistent. I am a generally efficient and orderly person. That's no fool. Sure I am fantasy prone and pleasure seeking, but that's part of my package.

I do not see mistake and failure around me, but you do. That should tell you something.

I never told anyone that going abroad would let you live "happily ever after". No matter what, even if you become rich and famous and successful, there will always be difficulties, challenges, and conflicts in life. To pretend otherwise would not be realistic. But there are ways to be happier than you are before, and going abroad is one of those ways, for certain people.

I don't think you see the big picture. Either that, or you are framing everything in ways that make it look negative. Well, I am not. People have overcome far worst problems than what I have, which is a cakewalk compared to most people's problems. It's not like I'm stuck in a dead end with no answer or solution around me. I have many options, and I just have to work with life, just like everyone else does.

Either way, I count my blessings everyday, and I appreciate the little things.

[Winston]

Swincor and Grunt,

You forget something. Even though I complain, I am still generally VERY happy. Venting helps me to release steam so I can be happy again.

Something else you should know, when Dianne and I argue and fight, there is no hatred or malice like there is in fights between Americans. When she gets mad, there is a comical look on her face and she behaves in silly ways. It's almost like watching a comedy movie, where when people get mad in them, they don't look too serious and thus you don't take it too serious. It's more silly than serious. That's how it is when we argue.

Thus, I can say that I enjoy the drama with Dianne, and the breaks from her that we take which allow me to party with my friends, date hot girls, fulfill my desires and fantasies, etc. I enjoy it all and am happy. Plus I wake up each day with no one controlling my schedule. I get to do whatever I want. So I'm happy.

So stop trying to paint a miserable picture.

All I need to do is vent for one or two hours on the internet once in a while, and then I'm happy again. That's all there is to it. You are making a bigger deal out of it than it is. It's like you are trying to add insult to injury. And that's not very good, and unnecessary as well.

And Grunt, I'm NOT obligated to listen and obey every know it all out there who wants to tell me what to do. The types of people who tend to do that tend to not have their life together or are even worse at getting their shit together. I've met those types. So your expectation that I listen and concede to any know it all on the internet is unrealistic, unreasonable, and unwise.

You both forget that the challenges we face in life are what make us stronger. That's always been true for me.

I have a lot to look forward to too, and a lot going for me. But I won't list them out for fear of jinxing myself. hehehe