Women and careers

[Tsar]

One of the things I look at when I consider a girl is what she has had and wants to have as a career.

In my book if she wants to be a policewoman, firefighter, member of the armed forces, construction worker, or anything related to hard/manual labor she's too masculine. I won't consider a masculine woman.

If a girl wants to have a career I believe it should be something where their femininity can show.
nurturing, gentle, and tender
to showcase their beauty
Something they can demonstrate feminine creativity


Does anyone else have similar standards?

[abcdavid01]

Absolutely. My dad is a successful lawyer on his own, so there was no real reason my mom had to work. My dad still made it a point to have dinner with my sister and I ever night and he took real care of us. My mom on the other hand, she was an executive for a telephone company, but she worked from a home office. She would go out shopping during the day and work on conference calls until late at night, ignoring family even though she was physically right there. My dad even told me not to marry someone like her. So yes, I absolutely hold those standards. I don't want a woman with a career - just someone who would make a good mother to my children

Another thing, my mother didn't want to have kids initially, so my parents waited until they were in their thirties to start. My dad wanted more kids, but they couldn't have any more and he felt regretful for that. He told me to give him grandkids, more than he was able to. So I can be really touchy about it. If you want a family, it's fine to struggle. There's a limited window for women to have kids. That I think is the worst part of Feminism, the delaying of starting families.

[Cornfed]

One of the things I look at when I consider a girl is what she has had and wants to have as a career.

In my book if she wants to be a policewoman, firefighter, member of the armed forces, construction worker, or anything related to hard/manual labor she's too masculine. I won't consider a masculine woman.

To be fair, while they may want to be seen as police, firefighters etc. they usually don't actually want to police stuff or fight fires. For example, of all the firefighters killed on 9-11, none of them were women. They generally take the easy peripheral jobs and leave the men to do the actual hard and dangerous work.

If a girl wants to have a career I believe it should be something where their femininity can show.
nurturing, gentle, and tender
to showcase their beauty
Something they can demonstrate feminine creativity

Yes if you wanted them not to be corrupted by their work and their work to be useful, then some generalization of their female role would be better. However, marrying any woman more attuned to status given to her by the system vs. status she earns as a wife and mother has the potential for disaster. BTW, as a rule women are not creative.

[abcdavid01]

True about creativity. Women comedians, women musicians (outside commercial pop), even the canon of art and literature has women as the exception. Evidence of exploitation? I don't think so. Even the world class chefs are mostly men, which is ironic considering cooking is supposed to be a feminine art. The key is to say "as a rule" since there are always exceptions.

[marklambo]

The kind of woman I prefer doesn't have a passion for a career. My ideal woman is someone who has a passion for her man and children if children were to come in the future. Sure, she can have a little part time gig or whatever just to keep her busy from being bored but career oriented women are a turn off. One day they'll be with you and the next day they'll drop you like a bad habit because they have a career and feel no need to have a man in her life....she then becomes a "man with breasts" No thanks.

[Andrewww]

I really don't care as long as the almighty career is not her primary focus in life but a means to an end: raising a family.

[Tsar]

The kind of woman I prefer doesn't have a passion for a career. My ideal woman is someone who has a passion for her man and children if children were to come in the future. Sure, she can have a little part time gig or whatever just to keep her busy from being bored but career oriented women are a turn off. One day they'll be with you and the next day they'll drop you like a bad habit because they have a career and feel no need to have a man in her life....she then becomes a "man with breasts" No thanks.

I have the same feelings. I would prefer any girl I am with doesn't want to have a career. When a woman relies on a man for support she will treat him better and give a man the love he deserves. When a woman has a career she's independent and doesn't "need" a man. Women are not suppose to have careers. A man supports a woman and in return the woman will give him love.

[Ginger]

[Ginger]

[Dragon]

My mother talked about this some time ago to one of her friends. Her opinion is that you should take a middle ground between career and family. As a mother, devote all your time to children during their very important developmental years. Then as they get older (high school+), it's fine to start working part-time or even full-time. But family always comes first.

[abcdavid01]

Women may have a career, however, the essence of being a woman should STILL be in her nurturing qualities. Meaning, she should hold as priority her husband and children, or in the case of those unable to marry or unable to bear children, then to nurture society (human relationships).

I do not understand women who have no mother instinct or has shut down their mother instinct. Even those unable to bear children still have it, and to quell it in favor of a career is a betrayal of the nature of being feminine.

In women, success should be measured by how much they contributed to the growth of a human being (mothering quality), be it their child, or whoever else's. there should be no shame in being a 'plain' housewife. It is a 'career' on it's own in a way. I would say a woman who is a 'plain' housewife and was able to raise a happy home with children who have grown maturely, and husband who is taken cared of, is a lot more successful than a woman who owns multi-million dollar companies and houses but does not have a 'home'.

And btw, some talented women are both able to raise a family and keep a career, they are the exception though. I also think that for those exceptional cases, the reason why they are a success is because they knew which one to prioritize first. Family comes first.

Great post.

If I recall, Christianity accepts celibacy for one reason: devoting your life to Christ. I agree, in spirit. I think if someone decides not to have a family, it is selfish to use all their time for their own personal gratification. It's okay not to have kids if you devote yourself to a higher cause. Otherwise, kids are the greatest gift someone can give to humanity. For example, my favorite author is Haruki Murakami. He's considered one of the greatest contemporary authors in the world and his books have very powerful messages. He said he decided not to have children because he could not devote his time to raising them. I think that's okay because he more than paid his dues to society, to humanity, through his art.

Ginger, you would not understand my sister. I have seen her with young children before and she has great qualities. Nevertheless, she's a Feminist, and she does not want children. Neither does her boyfriend, because he says he suffers depression. It sickens me. My own mother did not want children until my parents were in their thirties. My father wanted more kids, but they were unable to conceive more. It's a real tragedy.

[Ginger]

[Ginger]

[fightforlove]

Well, I am a mechanical engineer with a bachelor's degree, make good money but haven't reached my highest earning potential yet since I am still relatively young in my career. Most of the women I've dated have also been college-educated, but I am suspicious of the highly-educated/post-grad types (academia, lawyers, doctors, MBAs) not because I am intimidated by them but because I don't see how a highly-educated, career-driven woman could make a good wife/mother. They simply don't have the time in their lives and they also tend to be more "type A" personalities, very assertive/dominant which is a turn off to me. I like a woman who is more laid-back and docile and has the time for fun stuff and will eventually have both the desire and the time to raise children.

[marklambo]

Well, I am a mechanical engineer with a bachelor's degree, make good money but haven't reached my highest earning potential yet since I am still relatively young in my career. Most of the women I've dated have also been college-educated, but I am suspicious of the highly-educated/post-grad types (academia, lawyers, doctors, MBAs) not because I am intimidated by them but because I don't see how a highly-educated, career-driven woman could make a good wife/mother. They simply don't have the time in their lives and they also tend to be more "type A" personalities, very assertive/dominant which is a turn off to me. I like a woman who is more laid-back and docile and has the time for fun stuff and will eventually have both the desire and the time to raise children.

What you are describing is a "man with breasts". I personally am not attracted to those types of women either. I prefer a real woman with breasts