A Filipino's perspective on "Happier Abroad".

[davewe]

the philippines is a place where 90% of foreigners are of the sex tourist variety. this has skewed things a lot, however the law of attraction works even in seemingly unlikely scenarios, so sincere guys who travel there in search of a great female companion (especially those who consciously know how to use intuition) will be able to find her without too much difficulty, but with a lot more difficulty than there should be.

I agree with this lavezzi! However just as you questioned my statement that 80% of filipinas are not suitable, I would think your 90% sex tourist percentage is high. But you're right, many good filipinas either grow disinterested in foreigners or at least become very wary based on the large number of guys who go there who are only interested in short term sex goals.

BTW, I have nothing against guys only interested in short term sex, unless they lie about it.

[lavezzi]

I just posted a gold digger question because the whole question of what is or isn't a gold digger interests me.

I agree that it is a critical distinction. For me the real issue for both men and women is that no one wants to be used. I am talking about long-term relationships or marriage; short-term can be different. That means most women will not tolerate a man who "only" wants them for sex and most men will not tolerate a woman who "only" wants him for money or support. I am aware of no men who would say "Honey I love you so much that I would stay with you even if there were never sex again," and I suspect there are few if any women who would say "Honey I will love and stay with you even if you never pay another bill."

For most people the reality in a long term relationship is that someone has to pay the bills, someone has to pay for dinner and entertainment, etc. In most marriages between any man and woman (domestic or foreign) negotiations have to happen: "I'll pay for this - you pay for that" "I'll pay this bill - you clean the house," etc. Of course lots of couples suck at this and it causes many arguments and ultimate divorces.

So yes, in the grand scheme of things, all long term relationships cost money. Does that make every wife a gold digger or user? No. It just means there is no free lunch. Of course there may be an exception, though usually it is voiced by a guy whose notion of a long-term relationship isn't very long-term. Ask every guy you know who has been married a long time. There is a vast difference between the guy who says 'I banged her for a week and paid nothing" or even "I banged her for 6 months and paid almost nothing," and the guy who was married for 10+ years.

hypothetical situation: suddenly you learn that you will only earn the exact same amount or less money than your gf does indefinitely.
hypothetical conclusion a: she leaves you, therefore she was a gold digger.
hypothetical conclusion b: she stays with you, therefore she was not a gold digger.

in the case of conclusion b, it doesnt nessisarily mean she was averse to you and solely with you for your money, nor does it mean she didnt love you, it just means her finances were of higher importance to her than your relationship. youre right in saying the definition of a gold digger is vague. i suppose to define it you would need to weigh how much financial gain from your relationship is an actual nessesity to her with what your own personal definition of love is. whatever it is, it doesnt last forever. this is why we have marraige; it locks a couple together permenently for the sake of their children, because otherwise it would be too easy for the couple to split up when the 'in love' stage inevitably wears off. marriage has become completely redundent because divorce defeats its entire purpose.

[davewe]

hypothetical situation: suddenly you learn that you will only earn the exact same amount or less money than your gf does indefinitely.
hypothetical conclusion a: she leaves you, therefore she was a gold digger.
hypothetical conclusion b: she stays with you, therefore she was not a gold digger.

in the case of conclusion b, it doesnt nessisarily mean she was averse to you and solely with you for your money, nor does it mean she didnt love you, it just means her finances were of higher importance to her than your relationship. youre right in saying the definition of a gold digger is vague. i suppose to define it you would need to weigh how much financial gain from your relationship is an actual nessesity to her with what your own personal definition of love is. whatever it is, it doesnt last forever. this is why we have marraige; it locks a couple together permenently for the sake of their children, because otherwise it would be too easy for the couple to split up when the 'in love' stage inevitably wears off. marriage has become completely redundent because divorce defeats its entire purpose.

In the US after the financial collapse in 2008, not only did many men find themselves unemployed, they also found themselves divorced because they could no longer support their families in the lifestyle they were accustomed to. Did that make all the women gold diggers? Nope, though I am sure many were. But many Western women cannot stand change and will bail on the marriage if the guy's income decreases.

But strangely enough, the opposite happens too. When I was first married, we needed both our incomes to pay the mortgage, utilities, kids expenses, and any extras. We could not make it alone. After 10 or 12 years we each made enough that we were capable of handling the expenses alone. This actually put more pressure on the marriage; she knew she could pay the bills on her own and I knew I could buy another house and start again without her 2nd income.

But as you say, both scenarios are impacted by the couples' definition of commitment. It may be an old cliche "but through richer or poorer" has a lot of truth.

[Ginger]

Ginger

Your behaviour is on par with psychotic bitchy AW we all try to avoid, I know I said it before but please try to be sweet filipina, sometims I wonder if you are ladyboy posing as lady,

I dont care if Op is legit or troll, even if he is it doesnt change anything, look at the content of his post.

I wanna know which part of his post is implausible?
Its common knowledge that young filipinas go for old foreign men and they dont go for their looks and personality and I cans ee how some Filipinas talk crap behind their bfs back..i dont blame them nor im surprised...
I heard thai women doing the same, having multiple bfs and still looking for more 'good men' with 'good heart'...
its business after all..

as for 'dating paradise'..its matter of perception..take money out of equation see if its still paradise

Thank you for labeling me as well Banano. I guess there is simply no escaping the fact that I am female. If you read my other post you would see I already addressed what you are asking about. But I guess you also don't think it's worth reading for real. I am very happy to see no matter what, people like you will always choose to see only one side of what I say (and not the whole picture) and I meant that as sarcasm.

For the nth time, yes some pinays are exactly as you describe but they are no way the majority of the population. Perhaps the majority of those going with older guys and sex tourists guys but not all. I really wish you do your research before saying you think I'm a ladyboy. What I see is you are being misogynistic/homophobe who lacks reading comprehension, which is far from my previous impression of you. Oh well, I know even if I say exactly the same thing men say, someone would always burn me and resort to personal attack because I happen to be female.

You do realize that by you asking me to be a 'sweet' filipina is you are asking me to be deceptive and be a liar. I'm sorry to disappoint you but anyone who is sweet, docile, and meek can be the opposite if you provoke them enough. I will not 'act' like a candy girl, doing so will only perpetuate the lies about pinays. I'd rather post as myself with no masks on. Isn't that what HA is about?

I don't want to defend myself anymore in this thread. All I ask is read in full the exchanges with Mr. Paranoid1975 in the proper context and in full. Do not 'skim'. Thanks.

PS. I am really a guy with 3 heads, ask people who have seen me in real life and on cam (from this forum, do your research).

[Ginger]

Ginger

Your behaviour is on par with psychotic bitchy AW we all try to avoid, I know I said it before but please try to be sweet filipina, sometims I wonder if you are ladyboy posing as lady,

I don't care if Op is legit or troll, even if he is it doesnt change anything, look at the content of his post.

My point exactly. It makes no difference whether the OP is genuine or not, the point is that unfortunately we live in a world where a huge proportion of females are damaged in one way or another, so to me it matters not whether a female is from the US, UK, Ukraine, or Philippines, they are all to be scrutinized. No excuses for anyone, no assumptions of innocence, no nonsense. Ginger's facade is very flimsy and it's not surprising as the truth always reveals itself sooner or later, you just have to take the rainbow glasses off. There's no point in trying to reason with psychotic bitches. The only constructive thing to do is take note.

Thank you for exposing yourself as a paranoid misogynist who likes to twist other person's words to validate your fears. I really hope for your sake you cross paths with at least one good female in your life who you don't feel the need to put under your paranoid scrutiny.

And of course I know you will find what I said as further 'evidence' of the 'damage' you speak of.

You still have not addressed why you are singling me out but is too afraid to address male forumers who is saying same thing as I said re validity of OP's claim and his authenticity. Are you sure you are just not bullying me because you are a misogynist? C'mon if you got enough balls to be fair and be man enough, address everything squarely, but I guess you simply got issues. Oh well.

[Banano]

Ginger

I was joking about ladyboy thing as I thought it was funny thing to say at the time but take that as a compliment as you know many would argue asian ladyboys look better than asian women..


'For the nth time, yes some pinays are exactly as you describe but they are no way the majority of the population,Perhaps tje majority of those going with older guys and sex tourists guys but not all'


Ginger
Yes we are talking about those type of women, midd-upper class like yourself wouldnt normally look for old foreigner to buy you a whopper, but mid and upper class is minority in PH so its safe to say that majority of filipinas are indeed sponsor seekers of some kind..

btw i think u r cute if thats your pic in avatar but be polite and respect men on this forum and you ll get far in life

[Ginger]

Ginger

I was joking about ladyboy thing as I thought it was funny thing to say at the time but take that as a compliment as you know many would argue asian ladyboys look better than asian women..


'For the nth time, yes some pinays are exactly as you describe but they are no way the majority of the population,Perhaps tje majority of those going with older guys and sex tourists guys but not all'


Ginger
Yes we are talking about those type of women, midd-upper class like yourself wouldnt normally look for old foreigner to buy you a whopper, but mid and upper class is minority in PH so its safe to say that majority of filipinas are indeed sponsor seekers of some kind..

btw i think u r cute if thats your pic in avatar but be polite and respect men on this forum and you ll get far in life

Okay thanks for clearing it up.

Btw, I'm not mid upper class. Also I am nice to 'men' in this forum, but I admit to not being nice to 'boys in men's bodies'. Those guys ought to grow up otherwise they will be making every male look bad with their actions.

Yeah that is me on my avatar. Is that you on your avatar? Jk

[Ginger]

Ginger, I don't rely on luck, I go where the evidence takes me, like I said.

As you well know, I never said that it's 95% bad. You're not even making the slightest effort to hide the fact that you're deliberately putting words into my mouth. You made your smartass comment because you thought I was talking about you. You were incorrect, but ironically you also showed yourself to be one, hence my correct observation that actually, yes, you too are one. I didn't think it before, but now I do. It's very prophetic how it all worked out.

Dude, your freudian slip is too obvious, also I was referring to your agreeing(?) of OP's claims.

As long as I keep hearing that there is a strong culture of lying and scamming among filipinas, I have no choice but to take it seriously and look into it. It makes no difference to me how defensive that makes you feel. There's a strong culture of narcissism and materialism among western females, and they too rightly deserve to be scrutinized ruthlessly. No one gets a free pass with me. No one is assumed to be squeaky clean, and all anecdotal reports of dodgy behaviour will be looked into.

Okay scrutinize everyone mister, make sure no one will ever get a free pass at anything okay.

I still do not see why you are singling me out as if I'm the only person who doubted the OP's authenticity as a pinoy moreso the validity of his outrageous (95% thingy) claims.

Please re-read my posts in this thread, s-l-o-w-l-y this time, you sure you are not misinterpreting me? Seems like you see what you wanna see and then rationalize it. I give up okay. I'm a bad person, please feel free to scrutinize all I say so I don't get a free pass on your watch. Thanks.

For the benefit of the forum, I've highlighted major red flags in Ginger's post, although in truth I may as well have highlighted the whole thing. Note the attitude, passive aggressiveness, and condescension. This is precisely why no one here should automatically assume that a filipina or a girl from any particular country is god's gift to men.

Ginger, you're a sham. I see you.

Thank you for having the initiative to point that out to the other forumers in here. I am sure they will be thankful you can 'see' me for what you think I am.

You are right, I am being condescending to you, you deserve it.

Do your research before labeling me as a 'sham'.

And dude, please get therapy, you have serious women issues. For your own sake do it. And I am being sincere saying this.

[Jester]

Intelligence, morality, and kindness are not even things they [Filipinas] take into consideration.

Nak, what you don't understand is that, by Western standards, this is a big plus. You see, in the West (feminist societies), women do take intelligence, morality, and kindness in consideration but as extreme negatives. In other words, men who are intelligent, moral, or kind have virtually no chance of finding a girlfriend in the West. So we are thrilled to find countries where these things aren't held against us.

Very true.

[Jester]

some men beleive in the lie that god created the world in 7 days when they want to be loved by jesus, other men beleive in the lie that age doesnt matter when it comes to attraction in SE asia when they want to be loved by a filipina.

Plenty of women around the world prefer status to same-age when choosing a man. Forty year age gaps are common in the Middle East, for example. Status is attractive to women. And in many countries the night-club douche does not have status.

Most of us do not care about drippy adolescent puppy love the way you seem to. Loyalty, caring dedication and sexual love is enough.

And you are off on your 7 day quip as well. If God created the world, and He is God, why couldn't it have been done in seven days? And if God didn't create the world, why is it ordered and functioning? Where has order ever arisen on its own, spontaneously?

Think before you post.

[Jester]

If you are very old or unattractive, understand you will probably need to go for older and less attractive gals if you wanna have a decent shot at finding a girl who can love you for you. From my general observations and readings, I believe it's against human nature, irregardless of culture, to achieve a genuine love relationship where there are extreme gaps in age or looks. There may be exceptions here and there but winning the lottery is an exception too so keep in mind just how much the cards are sacked out of your favor. Perhaps a compromise is in order - compartmentalization. Find an older and less attractive gal to be your soulmate who allows you to periodically satisfy your urges for intimacy with 'young flesh'. To keep it fair, you should let her do likewise.

There is a critical distinction between a girl who is genuinely into you and a girl who is into the support you represent. Am I the only one here who gets this or am I the one who is naive???

Naive is the wrong word.

More like having your head totally up your ass.

Did your girlfriend hack your HA identity and post this under your name?

Why the f**k would anyone go abroad to go share a woman with other guys?
And who the f**k wants a "soulmate"?

There should be a specialized word, similar to "troll", for posters who try to discourage others from getting what they want. (Ideas, anyone?)

Don't go abroad. Don't date someone attractive. You can't go abroad, you don't speak a foreign language. There are narcos. Date a granny.


There are all kinds of relationships where the man is decades older, and ugly as well. Some women look for charisma, strength, character. Some for success and stable wealth. Such women are as much in love as one that marries for looks.

Sure, the frail old grandpas know they need to settle for miss forty year old, but that's still perhaps three decades younger. Not same-age. But they don't need you advise them of that. And frankly I don't think there's any frail old grandpas on this site, at least as regular posters, anyway.

[davewe]

If you are very old or unattractive, understand you will probably need to go for older and less attractive gals if you wanna have a decent shot at finding a girl who can love you for you. From my general observations and readings, I believe it's against human nature, irregardless of culture, to achieve a genuine love relationship where there are extreme gaps in age or looks. There may be exceptions here and there but winning the lottery is an exception too so keep in mind just how much the cards are sacked out of your favor. Perhaps a compromise is in order - compartmentalization. Find an older and less attractive gal to be your soulmate who allows you to periodically satisfy your urges for intimacy with 'young flesh'. To keep it fair, you should let her do likewise.

There is a critical distinction between a girl who is genuinely into you and a girl who is into the support you represent. Am I the only one here who gets this or am I the one who is naive???

Naive is the wrong word.

More like having your head totally up your a**.

Did your girlfriend hack your HA identity and post this under your name?

Why the f**k would anyone go abroad to go share a woman with other guys?
And who the f**k wants a "soulmate"?

There should be a specialized word, similar to "troll", for posters who try to discourage others from getting what they want. (Ideas, anyone?)

Don't go abroad. Don't date someone attractive. You can't go abroad, you don't speak a foreign language. There are narcos. Date a granny.


There are all kinds of relationships where the man is decades older, and ugly as well. Some women look for charisma, strength, character. Some for success and stable wealth. Such women are as much in love as one that marries for looks.

Sure, the frail old grandpas know they need to settle for miss forty year old, but that's still perhaps three decades younger. Not same-age. But they don't need you advise them of that. And frankly I don't think there's any frail old grandpas on this site, at least as regular posters, anyway.

Thanks for the funniest post of the weekend. And totally accurate.

I fail to see why anyone would want to discourage others in what is already a challenging enough task (dating foreign women). And it baffles me even more why anyone would be bothered by the middle aged or older guy with the younger woman. "Against human nature?" What are we in - church? Honestly, the % of older men dating or married to younger women is small in the West and abroad. Surely, we can't be any kind of threat to the younger, more handsome playas here.

As to old and frail members of HA - now where did I put that walker...I gotta trundle off to the home

[Rock]

Yeah that is me on my avatar. Is that you on your avatar? Jk

LOL! NICE.

[Rock]

[quote="Jester"]


Naive is the wrong word.

More like having your head totally up your a**.

Did your girlfriend hack your HA identity and post this under your name? I SPEAK FOR MYSELF HERE

Why the f**k would anyone go abroad to go share a woman with other guys? MAJORITY OF OLDER WHITE FOREIGNERS IN PHILS KNOWINGLY GET IT ON WITH HIGHER MILEAGE GALS INCLUDING WHORES. ACTUALLY, SAME IS TRUE FOR A LOT OF YOUNGER FOREIGNERS.

And who the f**k wants a "soulmate"? SOUNDS PRETTY GOOD TO ME. AT LEAST MANY OF THE GUYS WHO MARRY R HOPING FOR THAT.

There should be a specialized word, similar to "troll", for posters who try to discourage others from getting what they want. (Ideas, anyone?) WHY A NEGATIVE LABEL? SO WE SHOULD SUGAR COAT THINGS IN CASES WHERE WHAT WE BELIEVE TO BE TRUE FROM OUR EXPERIENCES MIGHT FIT INTO THAT CATEGORY? THIS IS A TRUTH SEEKING FORUM SO WE SHOULD ALL PUT IT OUT THERE AS WE SEE IT.

Don't go abroad. Don't date someone attractive. You can't go abroad, you don't speak a foreign language. There are narcos. Date a granny. I DON'T MEAN THAT. JUST GO WITH REASONABLE EXPECTATIONS AND WORK WITHIN THE BOUNDS OF REASON. IF U R A 40 YR OLD 5, U HAVE A GOOD SHOT AT FINDING A 27 YR OLD 7 OR EVEN 8 WHO SINCERELY DIGS U IN CERTAIN COUNTRIES. WHEREAS AT HOME IN STATES, U MITE GET INTEREST MAINLY FROM 50 YR OLD 3S AND 4S. THATS A HUGE IMPROVEMENT. BUT, THERE ARE LIMITS TO HOW MUCH OF A HANDICAP U CAN ACHIEVE IN MOST CASES. SO WHY NOT KEEP IT REAL INSTEAD OF PAINTING A FANTASYVILLE SCENARIO ONLY TO HAVE GUYS WHO GO OVER GET BITTERLY DISAPPOINTED?


There are all kinds of relationships where the man is decades older, and ugly as well. Some women look for charisma, strength, character. Some for success and stable wealth. Such women are as much in love as one that marries for looks. I SINCERELY HOPE U R RIGHT HERE. BUT SO FAR, I JUST DON’T SEE IT MUCH NO MATTER WHERE I GO. EVEN IN AFRICA, I DIDN’T SEE IT IN GENUINE RELATIONSHIPS, JUST HOS AND MONGERS. THE TYPES OF RELATIONSHIPS YOU REFER TO BASED ON MY DATAPOINTS ARE 1 IN SEVERAL 100 TO 1,000S AT BEST. A VERY EXCEPTIONAL MAN LIKE SAY MICHAEL DOUGLAS MAY BE ABLE TO PULL IT OFF. BUT THESE DAYS, WHITE FOREIGNERS ARE A DIME A DOZEN ALMOST EVERYWHERE U GO. IF U R NOT THAT EXCEPTIONAL AT HOME, DON’T IMAGINE THAT U WILL BECOME SOME CELEBRITY IN THE 3RD WORLD. THAT ILLUSION HAS PRETTY MUCH BEEN DESTROYED.

Sure, the frail old grandpas know they need to settle for miss forty year old, but that's still perhaps three decades younger. Not same-age. But they don't need you advise them of that. And frankly I don't think there's any frail old grandpas on this site, at least as regular posters, anyway. AS FAR AS AGE GAPS GO, AND AGAIN BASED ON MY OBSERVATIONS, I THINK THE HALF YOUR AGE PLUS 7 RULE IS REALISTIC FOR REAL LOVE RELATIONSHIPS IN SOME OF THE BETTER COUNTRIES. WITH THIS FORMULA, THE GAP IN YEARS INCREASES AS THE MAN GETS OLDER SO THE FORMULA IS NOT SO BAD. BUT PUSHING MUCH BEYOND THIS IS EXTREMELY CHALLENGING IF U R LOOKING FOR WOMEN WHO SEE MAINLY U AND NOT THE SUPPORT U REPRESENT.

FOR LOOKS, PART OF THAT DEPENDS ON RELATIVE BEAUTY OF MEN VS WOMEN IN GIVEN COUNTRY. IN PAST, COMMENTS HAVE BEEN MADE ON HOW IN NE ASIA, U SEE A LOT OF PLAIN GUYS WITH RATHER HOT GIRLS CUS LOCAL GIRLS ON AVERAGE ARE A LOT HOTTER THAN LOCAL MEN WHERAS IT MIGHT BE THE OPPOSITE IN THE STATES. SO A 4 MALE IN THES STATES MIGHT BECOME A 5 OR 6 IN A COUNTRY W LESS ATTRACTIVE GUYS. BOTTOM LINE THOUGH, I RARELY SEE BELOW AVERAGE LOOKING MALES PAIRED WITH STUNNERS UNLESS HE HAS SOME SORT OF EDGE (CELEBRITY STATUS, VERY BIG MONEY, OR EXTREME LUCK, LOL).

BUT PLEASE, PROVE ME WRONG. I WANNA BE WRONG. LET THESE BE MERE LIMITING BELIEFS OF MINE WHICH U CAN LIBERATE ME FROM.

[Rock]

If you are very old or unattractive, understand you will probably need to go for older and less attractive gals if you wanna have a decent shot at finding a girl who can love you for you. From my general observations and readings, I believe it's against human nature, irregardless of culture, to achieve a genuine love relationship where there are extreme gaps in age or looks. There may be exceptions here and there but winning the lottery is an exception too so keep in mind just how much the cards are sacked out of your favor. Perhaps a compromise is in order - compartmentalization. Find an older and less attractive gal to be your soulmate who allows you to periodically satisfy your urges for intimacy with 'young flesh'. To keep it fair, you should let her do likewise.

There is a critical distinction between a girl who is genuinely into you and a girl who is into the support you represent. Am I the only one here who gets this or am I the one who is naive???

Naive is the wrong word.

More like having your head totally up your a**.

Did your girlfriend hack your HA identity and post this under your name?

Why the f**k would anyone go abroad to go share a woman with other guys?
And who the f**k wants a "soulmate"?

There should be a specialized word, similar to "troll", for posters who try to discourage others from getting what they want. (Ideas, anyone?)

Don't go abroad. Don't date someone attractive. You can't go abroad, you don't speak a foreign language. There are narcos. Date a granny.


There are all kinds of relationships where the man is decades older, and ugly as well. Some women look for charisma, strength, character. Some for success and stable wealth. Such women are as much in love as one that marries for looks.

Sure, the frail old grandpas know they need to settle for miss forty year old, but that's still perhaps three decades younger. Not same-age. But they don't need you advise them of that. And frankly I don't think there's any frail old grandpas on this site, at least as regular posters, anyway.

Thanks for the funniest post of the weekend. And totally accurate.

I fail to see why anyone would want to discourage others in what is already a challenging enough task (dating foreign women). And it baffles me even more why anyone would be bothered by the middle aged or older guy with the younger woman. "Against human nature?" What are we in - church? Honestly, the % of older men dating or married to younger women is small in the West and abroad. Surely, we can't be any kind of threat to the younger, more handsome playas here.

As to old and frail members of HA - now where did I put that walker...I gotta trundle off to the home

Ok, perhaps I come across as a devil's advocate here. But I don't mean to be hating. Rather, I've been jaded by how real life experience doesn't seem to live-up to all the hype out there. Ironically, when I do write positively about my own HA favorite, Winston pours buckets of cold water on whatever hope or ideas I offer.

If there's a threat to HA opportunities in PI, it's coming from all those Korean youngsters flooding the place plus perhaps a trend for younger European white guys to go there in larger numbers (as per Ginger's reference to a study she was involved with). If anything, I'm encouraging segmentation - go to medium income countries when younger and then gravitate to certain lower income countries as u get older assuming u r still single. Such segmentation would likely reduce competition among foreign men in countries like Phils.

BTW, I would say church often pushes us to go against human nature, to resist and fight temptations. But how tempted do u think young hotties anywhere will be to go for very unattractive guys much older than themselves if they don't see a pot of gold behind that guy.