Should we let my arch enemies and villains stay in forum?

[Winston]

Red Alert! My evil arch enemies and their band of villains have penetrated into the Forum!

Like in the movie “Empire Strikes Back� where Vader and the Imperial troops stormed into the Rebel Base on Hoth, my arch enemy Dave Fuller and his gang of villains, including my jaded ex-friend Stefan, have stormed into the compounds of my new Forum (http://www.happierabroad.com/phpBB2/index.php).

Do you all think I should send the “security forces� of phpBB2 to get rid of them and ban them immediately? Or should I give them a chance to behave and bring something constructive into the forum other than hate and their perverse desire to bring others down?

Or should I just create a flame war board for them and restrict them to that board? Perhaps, as I suspect, nothing good could come from their presence (which is why I didn’t elect to create the flame board for them before) so maybe I shouldn’t even bother with them?

What should we do about these “forces of evil�?

The pro side to letting them in is that every time they enter and post, it creates more page impressions for my site, thus raising my website ranking, which would be good for my business efforts.

But the con side is that their presence could cause disruption and lower the quality of the content of the forum. Deep down, these people are bullies who use fear and intimidation on others, never contributing anything positive or constructive.

Those of you who’ve known me for a long time know that I sort of thrive on drama and conflict. But is it time I outgrow that?

Sure, it makes it more interesting to have a good vs. evil theme on my site and in my life, since it makes me look more significant and important if enemies are trying to “bring me down� (though I never understood their perverse motives; what kind of person goes around trying to bring down and destroy someone who has never wronged them in any way?) But is it in my long term interest to do so?

Healthy mature spiritual people know that peace and harmony are always better than conflict. So is it worth it to have conflict just to bring in a burst of short term traffic to the site?

So what do you think is best in the interest of my forum, group, and interests of the website? Should I or we retaliate by banning them to keep the forum a peaceful and positive place, or giving them a chance?

Summary and Quotations about my two arch enemies:

To give you an idea of what kind of person my arch enemy Dave Fuller is, sources have said that he is the type of person who gets into fights in bars and has to be restrained by bouncers. Fuller confirmed this to me in an email, boasting that he took out 3 bouncers once single handedly (yeah right). Every few months he has to change his email address for some reason, which is no surprise since those who go out making enemies and stepping on a lot of toes, have to do that. As a friend in Russia told me about him, “He hates everyone and everyone hates him�. In the forum, he is registered under the username “The_Riddler�.

As to Fuller’s new partner in crime, my former friend Stefan, he is an evil wealthy entrepreneur and a man with a nasty personality and a dark perverted morbid sense of humor. He is registered under “Dr Atuw�. Even when we were officially friends, he was always snickering at me in a mischievous manner, cracking lame jokes at my expense, and proudly calling me his “verbal punching bag�. Though he helped me out a lot with expenses, he was extremely judgmental and negative to the nth degree, and I soon felt uncomfortable around him. He’s not the kind of guy you can sit down with and have a relaxed open discussion. He is an obsessive control freak who makes everyone uncomfortable. And he has a nasty short fuse that makes being around him feel like walking on egg shells, and suffice to say, he never apologizes for losing his cool. In addition, he frequently calls people “stupid� to their face.

Two of my guests from the list who came to visit, both said the same thing independent of each other, after hearing my summary of Stefan’s personality,

“I’ve known guys like that. With his personality, he can only get people to tolerate being around him by PAYING them. But as soon as he has no more use for them, he casts them off coldly�

which is exactly right. Stefan literally PAYS everyone he’s around, both here in the Philippines and in Hawaii, cause that’s the only way he can keep them around.

In fact, Stefan admitted himself in an email to me that “I only like friends who are useful to me. Anything else is a waste of my time.� That tells you what kind of man he is. In addition, he’s fired off many vicious nasty words at me in the past, even though I’ve never done anything wrong to him. He is a bully who has picked me as his target.

In addition to these undesirable personality qualities, he has a warped twisted mind that makes warped twisted statements which are often wrong. For example, he has made the following 2 stupid erroneous statements many times, dictating them with an air of authority as though he were a know-it-all who can’t be wrong.

1. Winston, you can’t get a girlfriend here without being free and generous with your money. The only thing that distinguishes you from a local Filipino guy is money. Without it, you’re not any better to them than a local guy who is often poor and drunk.

2. Winston, you can’t get away with having open relationships and multiple partners here. If you were a tall blonde guy, you could. But you’re not, so you’ve got to be monogamous and faithful to keep girls.

Obvious reasons why these statements are wrong:

Without even knowing me, common sense should tell you that he is wrong. As for statement number 1, MANY girls here have liked me and still like me even after finding out that I’m a cheapskate on a tight budget. I have a fun loving free-spirited personality that a lot of Filipinas resonate with, as well as a sweet romantic side, and a face they find young and handsome (gwapo). Those are the reasons why I am liked so much here that even bar girls let me hang out in their bar without paying or buying any drinks. I’m likable and entertaining to them. In fact, they tend to show favoritism toward me even compared to older richer guys.

My girlfriend Dianne doesn’t like to ask for money, and even when I hand her cash, she is reluctant and shameful to take it. Besides my girlfriend, there are between 5 and 10 bar girls who are in love with me and always texting me by cell phone.

It seems that he is the one who can’t get girls to be around him unless HE is paying them, and somehow tries to tack that on to me as well, but I am nothing at all like him. Just because Stefan himself is “all about money� doesn’t mean that everyone is. Yet that’s what he assumes. His own little world inside his head doesn’t match reality, but he is blind to that fact.

As to statement number 2, it is incorrect from several vantage points. First, most women in general do not tolerate their boyfriends and partners having other girls, no matter how good looking he is, even if he’s “tall and blonde�. Second, many Filipino and foreign Asian men here have multiple girls, and are “butterflies�. You don’t have to be tall and blonde.

Third, my girlfriend Dianne has recently said that she will allow me to have an “open relationship� and see other girls, including bar girls. She knows that my blood is wild and that if I stay home all the time, I feel like a caged animal, and that nothing can change that because I can’t change who I am. Yet she is so madly in love with me and can’t live without me, that she would rather accept an open relationship as a compromise, than lose me. That’s how much I mean to her. It’s very admirable that she is willing to sacrifice her principles like that for me, which greatly increased the deep love between us.

So you see, Stefan’s statements which he dictates with an air of authority, are wrong in so many ways, and been proven incorrect many times over. Yet he won’t listen to anyone who tells him he is wrong. He simply won’t have it. No matter how stupid or erroneous his statements are, he sticks by them. That’s why he can’t be reasoned with. To try to only wastes one’s energy and is emotionally draining.

And in fact, about 90 percent of his statements about me are in error, yet he persists in believing them, constantly twisting facts to suit his favor. That’s why he can’t be reasoned with. What’s ironic is that he is a perfectionist with a 90 percent error rate in his statements about me. Thus, he’s truly “wacked�.

All my close friends have told me that he is a “wacko� and that I should just leave him alone. I’ve done that and moved on to more positive constructive endeavors, but he can’t seem to leave me alone. He is obviously disturbed and imbalanced in many ways, a bully and control freak with low emotional intelligence. And in person, he always has a grumpy angry annoyed look on his face. Whereas on the other hand, I wake up every day positive and with a smile. That’s the bottom line difference between us.

To close, here are some wise quotes and observations about him from various people.

One of my advisors, a no-nonsense realist who is an expert on people and bullshit detection, made the following observations and analyses about Stefan after seeing his emails and posts. He texted me these answers to my questions by phone.

- “He is a control freak.�

- “I told ya I had a bad feeling about him the first time you described him (long ago).�

- “Yeah I saw his photos that you sent out. From his face, I could see that there was something not right about him.�

- “His ego has been damaged and he has low emotional intelligence.�

- “He uses people for his own benefit. When he is done with them he throws them away.�

- “I find it fascinating that people waste their time writing crap about others. They should be worried about their own lives. Just shows you that they don’t have much of a life I guess.�

- “Yeah I read it, he is just a control bully trying to manipulate you through passive-aggressive tactics.�

- “He hates you and is a bully. Both. He has serious character flaw issues, that’s why he is a hermit and anti-social.�

One of my friends from the list who came and visited the Philippines, had this to say about him:

“I knew a guy like him once. He made $15,000 a month in his business, but was a real control freak with no people skills. People only tolerated him because he was paying them. He was nice to you if he found you useful in a business sense, but as soon as you weren’t, he wanted nothing to do with you. I eventually couldn’t tolerate him and had enough.�

Also, he and another guy who later came to visit both said independently of each other,

“The only way a guy with that kind of personality can get people to tolerate him is by PAYING them.�

Another friend visiting from New York who has worldly street smarts, observed regarding people like him,

“Some people are brilliant in one area of life but really stupid in another. For example, they might be really good at computer programming, but have horrible people skills.�

That last line says it all about him. He has no people skills, hates people in general. And in fact, his only “people skills� consist of using money to control others. That’s what he did with me and virtually everyone in his life. He lured me into partnership with him by his promises of work and money to help me out. The same with his girlfriend too. He arrived to her in the Philippines with the immediate message to her that “I can support you and your family!� banking on that one theme alone to win her heart, by flooding her and her family with gifts, money, and other bonuses. At first, she didn’t like him and looked unhappy and disappointed around him (probably she could sense his cold blooded calculating chilling heart, rather than a true warm tender one). Then she gave in. But unlike me, he NEVER expected or counted on her liking him for him. Instead, his approach was to show the girl and her family how much he could spend so quickly and freely. Sure, it worked for him. But anyone here knows that YOU DON’T NEED to do that in the Philippines to get a girlfriend. You can just be a nice gentle sweet guy with a caring heart and attitude. He overdid it big time.

And he had the gall to try to tell me that if I wasn’t willing to spend freely to impress the girls here, that I couldn’t get a girlfriend, and that my tightwad ways wouldn’t cut it here. He was proven wrong so many times over, by my experiences and by simple common sense. Again, he is not a man you can reason with.

So you see, without any people skills, using his money to manipulate, control, and motivate others is his sole bargaining chip. In addition, he uses it to belittle others as well. When I don’t leave fat tips in restaurants like he does, he belittles me, acting as if the whole universe is belittling me as well (what a fool). But the reality is that tips are purely optional in the Philippines (only bar waitresses and taxi drivers in Manila actively ask for them) and that most Westerners who tip here leave only 20 pesos, especially if they live here and are not on a splurging mode. This has been explained to him, but as usual, he doesn’t listen.

He is such a megalomaniac with money that one time he even thought he could have me deported from the country for threatening him online in self-defense. No one I talked to said that he could have someone deported for email threats, even if he uses his money as manipulation. Yet in his sick twisted deluded mind, he thought he could, and he actually expected that I would spend a thousand dollars to fly back to the USA, leaving my pregnant fiancée behind, returning to nothing, just to avoid his mighty wrath, when in reality, he was NOTHING but a coward who couldn’t even face people in real life, only talking big behind a computer. There’s no way in hell he could ever come out and face me man to man on the street in broad daylight (with no weapons or allies) because in real life he is a coward who is unable to tolerate any form of risk or confrontation.

Yet behind a computer he talks big. That’s what kind of a nutcase he is, expecting me to spend all my money for his nutcase antics. In probability I was told, he probably knew deep down that he was powerless to deport me and that I wasn’t going to fly home because of him, but he enjoyed the power trip of trying to scare and intimidate me. Is that how a 40 year old man is supposed to act? Obviously, he has psychotic problems, an evil twisted mind, and very low emotional intelligence. Even my girlfriend’s 6 year old sister has higher emotional intelligence than him, as she never argues or whines, and is always happy and in balance/harmony with her siblings, parents, and cousins, living in almost perfect “Zen�.

People like him have few or no friends, and are best avoided for a reason. Even when we were friends, I always knew we’d be enemies someday. His extremely hateful negative attitude, coupled with his obsessive desire to pick people apart and focus on their imperfections, made it only a matter of time. I’ve known people like that in the past, and they are like a time bomb who will turn their hate on you at any time they are through adding up your “negative points� in their mind. These are very mentally unhealthy and disturbed types of people. Of course, I perpetuate it in them because I don’t like to take their crap and am a proud person who is willing to fight for my freedom and for what I think is right, thus these energy vampires and I are eventually like oil and water.

In spite of him being a prick in so many ways, and a wacko nut case, I have to admit that we sort of “needed� each other to get to where we are today. He would not have met his current fiancée if it wasn’t for me and my consultant who referred him to the webcam site that he met her at. And I would not have met my girlfriend if it wasn’t for him either, for I met her at an internet café while I was living with him, which I wouldn’t have gone into if I hadn’t been living in that area in his house. So it seems that fate brought us together for mutually beneficial needs at those points in time.

I also have to thank him for inspiring me to create my new website and forum, and all the features of it. It was always in the back of my mind, but he (being the computer geek he is) is the one who inspired and motivated me to put it all together into a legitimate force online, reaching out to many people and developing the potential to earn some income from it.

So, he is a mixed bag, and that gives you the picture of it all.

In any case, I never could figure out and still can’t, how these two people whom I NEVER wronged, could want to bring me down so badly. They are weirdos and do not stand for anything respectable, admirable, or principled.

Regards,
Winston

[Frankly006]

I say stick with using the board as an open forum for discussing topics regarding foreign lands, rather than a platform for personal vendettas.

[Enishi]

I agree. I don't have full knowledge of the conflict between Wu and these other people, and I could never claim to, as I haven't meet Wu and his detracters personally or observed the events they refer to.

I also don't particularily consider it any of my business. I enjoyed Wu's ebook and his photo journals, and his claims about foreign women have been attested to by numerous others. I'm here to discuss THAT, not interpersonal conflicts. Keep those sorts of things confined to emails, not on the forum.

[LukeSkywalker]

Please let them stay because they have said some interesting stuff that I wish to consider.

[LukeSkywalker]

Please let them stay because they have said some interesting stuff that I wish to consider.

[Jack]

As long as they don't disrupt constructive discussions, personally, I don't care whether they're here or not.

[Chemist]

Winston,
You'd like to fancy yourself as the "King of Logic". You claim that people are impressed with your ability to debate. Surely a few of us dolts would be no match for you

I know that you like to sell people on the idea that the evil Dave Fuller has summoned the powers of darkness to eradicate everything that is good in the world of Winston Wu.

But the reality is that many of us have come to similar conclusions about you independently. I first started reading your Russian trip reports when I was researching Russian Brides. My opinions of you started taking shape fairly early. It wasn't until I read your Villians of Shame section that I ever heard of Dave Fuller.

I had emailed some critical questions to you that you never answered and somehow I ended up on your SPAM list. This is how a learned about your new website and board. This is why I'm here.

[Havel]

I wholeheartedly agree with the chemist. I have been around the Russian boards since 97 and remember Wu's appearances, I didn't need Fuller to educate me as to Winston's foibles and follies. He has never been a serious seeker of a lasting relationship but rather a sex tourist, who has a hard time getting any without paying for it. I mean that's OK but be honest about it, don't try and pawn yourself off as a serious seeker when all you really want is immediate satisfaction.