Question about trusting girls in Colombia (traumatized)

[lovemehate]

well am super casual all jeans and shirts. I only dress somewhat nicer for work. and then I push the limits....

so have you lived In Columbia? would you suggest it? or anywhere you have been you could tell me about?

[abcdavid01]

I know its part of their culture, but when I Was In Mexico, theres such a huge rock culture, and the two don't normally mix . that it was very easy to avoid dancing.

I played in a few rock/metal bands while I was there. and I never had issues meeting people that did not go to bar/clubs (note I don't count rock shows as the same type of scene as people do go for the music/art).

but thats like me saying, everyone that dosent enjoy my past times (photography music gaming) should? I should not have to change my interests....am open minded about a lot of things, dancing? will never be one of them.

Recommend me some bands?

[lovemehate]

Well I don';t listen to a lot of spanish rock but there are some great ones,
there Is "Qbo" there is "Mana" "mango de oz" I like Zoe a lot, "A.N.I.M.A.l" ...hmm Pasalina mosh, "resorte"

I think if you search some of them on you tube youll find a lot of similar music you might like.

[publicduende]

I also won't be involved with girls that go to clubs, bars, drink, talk with guys, dance with other guys, and are into partying. Those girls aren't my type. Statistically, those girls are more likely to be sluts, prior experiences, higher divorce rates, higher rates of infidelity, and not make for a meaningful relationship.

...and that explains why you're still a virgin and keep on complaining without ever have met, touched and f*cked a single girl.

The reason is I refuse to lower my standards, lose it to a girl that f***ed another guy, and I won't date a girl that calls grinding up against a guy dancing. Grinding is almost foreplay and slutty.

Ballroom dancing or slow dancing are tradition forms of European dancing.

Grinding is whore dancing and thugs love whores grinding against them.

Mate, I really know where you're coming from. Yet, if don't lower that bar to less unreasonable standards, you might well find yourself still a virgin in 10 or 15 years time. And by virgin I don't mean physically virgin, but also lacking the kind of social experience you will need to approach any woman. Get out of that basement and start meeting a few girls, of any age, type and mix. You will be surprised how much you can learn from them, even - indeed especially - if you get rejected.

The slutty grinding typical of reggueton is a relatively modern form of dance, it's not native to Colombia. It's usually teenagers or guys and gals from the lowest social rungs in their mid 20s (and/or drunken up to their skulls) who dance that kind of stuff. Social events in Colombia are meant for the entire family and they usually don't include reggueton. Instead they focus on staple and traditional dance flavours like vallenato, salsa, merengue, cumbia etc.

It's true that dancing is, in many culture, a symbolic metaphor of courting. That's why it carries so much sensuality, and that's the way it should be, if you ask me.

[publicduende]

this guys is 100percent right.
It really is a slutty thing. I can chalk it up to a cultural difference in the case of Columbia, but most of the world? sluts. plain and simple
no NO I repeat NO respectable girl (or guy for that matter) dose this.

sure they can be going out and having fun, but if thats someones Idea of fun? then they are not the one for me.

No one should ever lower their standards.

Like I said in the other post, that kind of slutty dancig that mimicks doggy style (perrear, as they call it) is just a modern form of dance, imported from the more genuinely Caribbean countries (Dominican Republic, Puerto Rico etc.). No respectable girl over 25, engaged or married will ever engage in reggueton and the likes. Guaranteed.

And if you think dancing salsa, vallenato and merengue is slutty as well, you should consider watching a few videos on YT and make yourself a better opinion.

[lovemehate]

I would not say Salsa or any of that is slutty, but it's not something a girl should do with another guy if shes not single, married ect.
like you said before, its a kind of foreplay

and I rather just stay away from someone who uses her free time touching other guys in anyway, rather am wrong or right, I don't agree with it....that's a relationship killer for me right there....

I wonder.... on what part of the earth people just....don't do that? (spend their time clubbin, dancing, drinking ect ect) as a past time.

don't get me wrong, I love to go to shows and watch bands play, hell I even enjoy a drink or two at a bar, but I would not go to bars if i had a gf, less she agreed and or went with me. (and thats what I expect of her) .

Am just done with this high school BS. when do girls grow up? I was always under the impression they matured faster then guys....but I feel like..they don't.

and no girl can ever complain about their guy being an asshole/no-good if they like the bad boys or meet them at a bar, what do you expect?

I know am starting to sound picky and unreasonable but at the same time, I would never ask of someone, something I don't offer myself.

[E Irizarry R&B Singer]

I would not say Salsa or any of that is slutty, but it's not something a girl should do with another guy if shes not single, married ect.
like you said before, its a kind of foreplay

and I rather just stay away from someone who uses her free time touching other guys in anyway, rather am wrong or right, I don't agree with it....that's a relationship killer for me right there....

I wonder.... on what part of the earth people just....don't do that? (spend their time clubbin, dancing, drinking ect ect) as a past time.

don't get me wrong, I love to go to shows and watch bands play, hell I even enjoy a drink or two at a bar, but I would not go to bars if i had a gf, less she agreed and or went with me. (and thats what I expect of her) .

Am just done with this high school BS. when do girls grow up? I was always under the impression they matured faster then guys....but I feel like..they don't.

and no girl can ever complain about their guy being an asshole/no-good if they like the bad boys or meet them at a bar, what do you expect?

I know am starting to sound picky and unreasonable but at the same time, I would never ask of someone, something I don't offer myself.

What?!?! Salsa is one of the ultimate forms of "courting dancing" ever! There are people whom are in their 70s do that salsa-dance very minimally in movement, but they do it and not necessarily think anything of it. You might have a point about reguéton. Reguéton is Latinos version of dancehall reggae meets hip-hop culture. Love, you sound like you have a very westernized dogma when it comes to thinking salsa is "sl.utty". Do you think cilantro (coriander) is too spicy too? I'm not being salacious. I'm asking you.

[lovemehate]

lol "you sound like you have a very westernized dogma"
I AM a westerner , so yeah I do.
but aside from that, I don't think its appropriate for a girl to dance with another guy, in anyway (other then professional but i would never date a girl like that) .

let me ask you something, do you like drug-attics? so why date a guy that you know uses drugs?
do you like an alcoholic? hmm? no? then why date a guy who drinks a lot?
do you like getting abused? used? no? well...why go for the bad boys?

my point is why even bother with someone who from the start dose something you do-not enjoy or agree with?
am not saying THEY are wrong, no...am saying I don't like. Its just my preference.

and that leads back to my original question....about how girls are in Columbia and giving their laid back , dance whatever culture , knowing they go out a lot prolly party and drink and dance with guys, are the trust-able ?

my instincts tell me they cannot be trusted, but i don't know much about it (why I wanted to talk to someone from there or at least lived ther)

cause of my "westernized thinking" but again you have no lived my life, and been treated the way I have by these types of people (party people) so its more like am traumatized more then anything.

[E Irizarry R&B Singer]

lol "you sound like you have a very westernized dogma"
I AM a westerner , so yeah I do.
but aside from that, I don't think its appropriate for a girl to dance with another guy, in anyway (other then professional but i would never date a girl like that) .

let me ask you something, do you like drug-attics? so why date a guy that you know uses drugs?
do you like an alcoholic? hmm? no? then why date a guy who drinks a lot?
do you like getting abused? used? no? well...why go for the bad boys?

my point is why even bother with someone who from the start dose something you do-not enjoy or agree with?
am not saying THEY are wrong, no...am saying I don't like. Its just my preference.

and that leads back to my original question....about how girls are in Columbia and giving their laid back , dance whatever culture , knowing they go out a lot prolly party and drink and dance with guys, are the trust-able ?

my instincts tell me they cannot be trusted, but i don't know much about it (why I wanted to talk to someone from there or at least lived ther)

cause of my "westernized thinking" but again you have no lived my life, and been treated the way I have by these types of people (party people) so its more like am traumatized more then anything.

I am not the solution authoritarian here, but I will say this: maybe Costa Rica might be more of your stick. You seem to have a conservative soul but young in the rock culture. And try Perú too, but I bet Mexico is better for you. The Latin Caribbean is too much for you. Colombians are like Latin Caribeanos adjacently adhered to the South American landmass.

I too agree that Colombians are very sly and coy (not all but many (maybe most I don't know but I'd say many due to my experiences)).

[E Irizarry R&B Singer]

OH duh and Chile. You'd love Chile! Argentina too might work well for you.

[publicduende]

Lovemehate, from all the above you seem to be attracted to a culture that gives a lot of value to social activities you don't like to the slightest. Why not look elsewhere, Eastern Europe or the Middle East for instance, for your dating/social demands?

[djfourmoney]

I also won't be involved with girls that go to clubs, bars, drink, talk with guys, dance with other guys, and are into partying. Those girls aren't my type. Statistically, those girls are more likely to be sluts, prior experiences, higher divorce rates, higher rates of infidelity, and not make for a meaningful relationship.

...and that explains why you're still a virgin and keep on complaining without ever have met, touched and f*cked a single girl.

Because he won't lower his standards?

Lowering standards? You two remind me of a guy that was on Patty's show. He was a rich motivational speaker. He wanted hot, blonde and a bible thumper. Well Patty found three, all hot (8 or better), educated (major Univ I think one or two of them went to a Christian school) blonde, ready to get married, have children and Bible thumpers.

Like you two (Tsar) when confronted with the truth you wilt like a dying flower in the hot sun.

Neither of you are hanging out in circles that have hot bible thumping women. So you best bet is to hop on a plane (stop bitching) and find you an Orthodox Christian women from Eastern Europe (they are out there) or a hard core Catholic in Latin/Central America. Latin America has the highest number of Catholic/Christians, while Asia (including Russia) along with Africa are the fastest growing. The greatest decline is in Western culture, DUH.

Sell all your shit, both of you and move and don't give me this education, I'm in college bullshit. Its just another excuse.

I can find holler than thou chicks fairly easily but I have no interest in them, what the f**k are you two doing wrong?????

[djfourmoney]

lol "you sound like you have a very westernized dogma"
I AM a westerner , so yeah I do.
but aside from that, I don't think its appropriate for a girl to dance with another guy, in anyway (other then professional but i would never date a girl like that) .

let me ask you something, do you like drug-attics? so why date a guy that you know uses drugs?
do you like an alcoholic? hmm? no? then why date a guy who drinks a lot?
do you like getting abused? used? no? well...why go for the bad boys?

my point is why even bother with someone who from the start dose something you do-not enjoy or agree with?
am not saying THEY are wrong, no...am saying I don't like. Its just my preference.

and that leads back to my original question....about how girls are in Columbia and giving their laid back , dance whatever culture , knowing they go out a lot prolly party and drink and dance with guys, are the trust-able ?

my instincts tell me they cannot be trusted, but i don't know much about it (why I wanted to talk to someone from there or at least lived ther)

cause of my "westernized thinking" but again you have no lived my life, and been treated the way I have by these types of people (party people) so its more like am traumatized more then anything.

Stay home then.

Its likely you won't listen so here's the deal.

So-Called Christian girls go out at night too. Latin Culture is not Prudish. You say you lived in DF for 5 years, you sure didn't learn very much like Colombia is THAT different, ITS NOT.

Yeah I agree with E-Lriarry Gringoized Costa Rica might be the best place for you. That place is already f***ed up, you would add too it.

Yeah I'm hostile, so what, I get tired of reading the bullshit the comes up. Too many people wanna get spoon fed information. People use the internet for research every day and its mostly accurate, however that doesn't replace BOOTS ON THE GROUND.

Since you seemingly are looking for a different type of woman that only a minority on this board are seeking, I think the best thing to do is to go down to Colombia yourself and report back. Take lots of pictures too.

[Robert77]

i just wrote a topic tittle "things u should know before going to colombia" in the latin american section of the forum.

it's all based on my experience from living there 4 years.

go read it, it might give u some answers.