Is this guy a big picture thinker or what?

[gmm567]

Winston writes in his introduction page to this site:

http://www.happierabroad.com/introduction.php

So, single men without choices are essentially left powerless. Now what can be done? Well conventional common suggestions for these men range from working on/improving oneself, to joining clubs/extracurricular activities, to improving their social skills, to the dreaded "you'll find someone someday, don't worry" and even to learning from dating gurus and seduction/pick up artists. But these don't usually work, or rarely if they do. They may help you to meet a few more people and develop superficial aquaintances. But they are not going to get you more CHOICES among quality attractive single women that you desire. Get real!

You see, such cliched suggestions do not address the heart of the problem - the gross inequities, conditions and obstacles in the US dating market, which are too numerous to even count. There are so many screwed up conditions some of which don't even make any sense - inconsistencies in female behavior, stupid games, contradictions in what women want, unrealistic female delusions and entitlements, bad selfish attitudes, mental and psychological problems, insanity, cultural problems, shallowness and superficial attitudes, corruption in values, degradation of men and traditional gender roles, feminist hatred of males, the isolation lifestyle, paranoia, racism against nonwhite males, etc. etc. and the list goes on and on. Now do you really think that simply being more proactive in your community and life or learning social techniques is going to remedy all that?! Not on your life! (especially if you don't have status, looks, wealth, fame, height, race, etc. going for you)

[momopi]

So, single men without choices are essentially left powerless. Now what can be done? Well conventional common suggestions for these men range from working on/improving oneself, to joining clubs/extracurricular activities, to improving their social skills, to the dreaded "you'll find someone someday, don't worry" and even to learning from dating gurus and seduction/pick up artists. But these don't usually work, or rarely if they do. They may help you to meet a few more people and develop superficial aquaintances. But they are not going to get you more CHOICES among quality attractive single women that you desire. Get real!

There's a concept called self fulfilling prophecy. If the man feels that nothing he does in terms of personal improvement will help, then he'd remain in his current undesirabe status.

An investment in yourself is always a good investment. Education broadens the mind and improves career opportunities. Physical exercise improves health and logivity. A finacially rewarding career, business, or investment will give you the means to afford an attractive lifestyle at home or abroad. If you do choose to go abroad, higher socio-economic status wll also grant you better access to women in middle class or better in many countries.

Many men complain about why the "average" male cannot get ahead. First, they should ask themselves how attractive an average or plain looking women is to them. Second, they need to stop making excuses for themselves or blame other people. Asian American men complaining about discrmination today have no clue what real, systematic discriminaton was like under US Anti-Miscegenation laws from 1850-1967, when sex between Asians and Whites was a felony.

[adam917]

So, single men without choices are essentially left powerless. Now what can be done? Well conventional common suggestions for these men range from working on/improving oneself, to joining clubs/extracurricular activities, to improving their social skills, to the dreaded "you'll find someone someday, don't worry" and even to learning from dating gurus and seduction/pick up artists. But these don't usually work, or rarely if they do. They may help you to meet a few more people and develop superficial aquaintances. But they are not going to get you more CHOICES among quality attractive single women that you desire. Get real!

There's a concept called self fulfilling prophecy. If the man feels that nothing he does in terms of personal improvement will help, then he'd remain in his current undesirabe status.

An investment in yourself is always a good investment. Education broadens the mind and improves career opportunities. Physical exercise improves health and logivity. A finacially rewarding career, business, or investment will give you the means to afford an attractive lifestyle at home or abroad. If you do choose to go abroad, higher socio-economic status wll also grant you better access to women in middle class or better in many countries.

Many men complain about why the "average" male cannot get ahead. First, they should ask themselves how attractive an average or plain looking women is to them. Second, they need to stop making excuses for themselves or blame other people. Asian American men complaining about discrmination today have no clue what real, systematic discriminaton was like under US Anti-Miscegenation laws from 1850-1967, when sex between Asians and Whites was a felony.

Question about your last part: Does it really matter in 2009 whether it's officially on the books or not? Discrimination and related activities still exists in the population whether it's law or not. That is precisely what this site is about. Bottom line is people still get treated differently no matter the official position on various matters and the problem starts when the basis of this isn't rational, like skin colour, national origin, or ethnic background. Until we can eliminate this from human behaviour or at least get very used to the multitude of differences in people the world over, I'd have to say we as a species aren't exactly civilised just yet. This is one nice thing about virtual communication that is very hard to achieve IRL - since you often can't see and hear the person you're chatting with, you can't judge them much.

[gmm567]

look mopi, I don't think you're dealing with reality.

American woman want thugs. They also want rich/high status but they commonly f**k these guys over in divorce court. There is a 70% divorce rate--almost all of that is initiated by american women who are incentivised to abandon their marriages because they get to clean the guy of his assets.

Improve yourself dude...see how much that works for you and then get back to me.

[momopi]

duplicate post

[momopi]

Improve yourself dude...see how much that works for you and then get back to me.

Worked pretty well for me. My education gave me a financially rewarding career for the last 15 years, it provided the means for me to visit/vacation in 8 or 9 countries abroad. Canada, Mexico, Japan, Taiwan, China, Malaysia, Singapore, Philippines, etc I took my ex-GF to Beijing to climb the Great Wall of China couple years back and eat BBQ duck at wangfujing.

I'm in Taiwan right now and the locals value education. My master's degree scores points with women and their friends and family. When I visit girls I get great hospitality, the parents take me out to eat and gives me gifts of local produce when I leave. The two years in grad school was time well spent.

However, I should also note that I look for middle class or better girls with good family and education background. My values and goals may differ from others here, and the girls I chase in US and abroad are usually not easy lays. If a man is lookng for equick & easy sex with sexy women in "come f*ck me" shoes, then he is looking for a different target or market segment.

[gmm567]

ok mopi. Doesn't look like you're banging american girls either. So what's your point? And did you read the section I copied in the beginning? That was about american woman.


You just had to get in a comment, right?

[momopi]

look mopi, I don't think you're dealing with reality.

American woman want thugs. They also want rich/high status but they commonly f**k these guys over in divorce court. There is a 70% divorce rate--almost all of that is initiated by american women who are incentivised to abandon their marriages because they get to clean the guy of his assets.

One of the best things about America is that people from around the world comes here for education and work. Back in college my favorite dating group was foreign exchange students from Europe and Asia. Back then I couldn't afford to travel abroad and dating girls from far away places gave me a glimpse of what it's like in their native countries. Exchange students are the exceptional type who leaves their home countries to adventure abroad. Very fun people to go out with.

America is a nation of immigrants and you don't have to date bitchy locals if you don't want to.

[momopi]

ok mopi. Doesn't look like you're banging american girls either. So what's your point? And did you read the section I copied in the beginning? That was about american woman.

You just had to get in a comment, right?

Do Asian American women count? Yes I do sleep with them in the US in 2009. Choices are bigger abroad, of course.

Ths is a discussion forum where people post their comments. You said something I don't like, and I said something you don't like. You and I do not have to agree with each other. I strongly disagree with your opinion that working to improve one's self would only enable you to " meet a few more people and develop superficial aquantances". That's like telling people to just stay losers. If I had a son, I'd teach him to be taller, faster, and better than his peers. All this "I hate American women" crap is just old.

[The_Adventurer]

You're missing a serious point momopi. It seems you refuse to see that there is a problem. All this so-called self improvement, of the type talked about in the original post, has nothing to do with making the best of yourself for yourself. It's about becoming an actor, creating an image, playing a role and it is superficial because who is it for? To impress who exactly? WHy should any of it be necessary?

You're also missing another point when you say:

I strongly disagree with your opinion that working to improve one's self would only enable you to " meet a few more people and develop superficial aquantances". That's like telling people to just stay losers.

Where is it written that "normal guys" are losers? Only is superficial, media driven, consumerist American culture that's where! I mean, it's one thing if you're talking about a guy with a beard down to his chest and his gut hanging out of his sweat stained t-shirt, but it's another thing when a decent, educated, healthy American guy has to shave his head and put on a goatee and tattoo to even get looked at by girls. (Yes, that's the kind of things these so-called self improvement gurus are telling some people) WHy should he have been a loser before that? He had a great job, was decent looking and well educated, but he was not bad or a criminal. Sadly, the advice worked for that guy according to the story.

If you take pride in your masters degree, that's fine. Every one values different things. The next man may consider education to be indoctrination into a system that keeps one from ever acheiving true success or becoming a self-made man. Billionaire Larry Ellison was thrown off the stage at Yale for telling the students to escape while they can.

If you take pride in dating middle class girls, that's fine too. In my experience, most girls of this type suffer from what my Korean friends call "Princess Disease". They cost an arm and a leg (dating, gifts, presents for the family etc.) and once again put you on the track to so-called "self improvement", as they want to change your clothes, your hair, your car and anyting else they can do to make you "better". All of this is for what exactly? To impress who? I have yet to meet one I would think could ever make a good wife and mother. Too narcissistic (sp?).

I always strive to make the most of myself, for myself, and would recommend anyone do the same, but what these books and other things the original article calls "self improvement" is totally fake and makes one become a character from a sitcom or movie that is equally fake, all so that they can score with women no one would really want in the end.

[gmm567]

thanks terrance for weighing in. It's called having game. A superficial image...and you get all the p***y you want.

f**k GAME!

[gmm567]

you're seeing it too terrance. You're a heavy hitter. And this is what the players are. I've known them. I know how they are, and this is what it takes to get them. I am too interested in the truth.

"It's about becoming an actor, creating an image, playing a role and it is superficial because who is it for"

[momopi]

It's your life folks. You can choose to help yourself, or not. Good luck!

[icarus]

I'm going to have to stick up for momopi here. I strongly believe that a combination of feminism, the media and Hollywood have convinced the last couple of generations of American men that they are supposed to be "NICE'- e.g., predictable; too accommodating; not enough spine; won't stand up to a woman/ always in fear of "offending" her; apologizing for having a sexual side and continuously trying to repress it in front of women....in short: BORING AS HELL. Predictably, the guys who have bought into this BS notion wonder why they have no luck and all the jerks are getting the action.

I don't deny that there are PUA's who are not genuinely interested in meeting a nice girl for a long-term relationship. But the fact is every guy has a salty, more edgy side. Every guy can learn to be a little more confident, assertive and more interesting to women. It's not so much about changing who you are or putting on an act, but seeing the world from another angle (like: HERS) and presenting yourself differently. As far as needing looks and money- that's total BS and you know it. All of us know guys with both who can't get anywhere with women and there are middle class guys scoring all the time. Keep on singing the same tune and you just may end up like this winner here: http://www.youtube.com/user/bill122460

[The_Adventurer]

I find it interesting that people on forums everywhere, not just this one, are posting about amazing experiences they are having in dating abroad. African American centered sites are talking a lot about affluent blacks traveling to Brazil, the Dominican Republic, The Caribbean and other locations, and why they do so. Sites targeted at those interested in Eastern Europe are reporting the success of those interested in Russian, Ukrainian and other women. Sites about Asia contain a wealth of stories of people traveling to Japan, Korea, Thailand, Philippines and other destinations and finding what some call a "dating heaven". All this without these people changing a single thing but their location.

Some people, however, still choose ot believe that these people should ignore all of this, make irrational changes to themselves under the banner of "self improvement" and stick to trying to get the home grown girls, with whom they find absolutely no fault.