The catch 22 situation of the 'nice girl'

[zboy1]

I never suggested that they should, but it would be nice if I didn't have to get married just to make love with a girl.

I wouldn't describe myself as a 'monger' at all.

Ideally I would like a stable, long term relationship, I never want to marry.

So in other words you want a traditional girl, but don´t want to marry her and expect to have casual sex with her as well. And then you act surprised and wonder why this is not going to work?

Why not stay in the US and f**k random sluts if you just want casual sex and no marriage?

You leave the US to find traditional girls and then you act surprised because they are traditional?

And how are you not a monger even though you have admitted to having sex with hookers regularly?

Sorry but you are completely delusional...

Your presumptuous and acerbic nature explain why you failed so miserably to relate to your German compatriots.

How dare you presume that I'm American! How arrogant and ignorant of you!

This forum appears to be populated by crazed, religious nutters who think that one has to get married before he has the right to enjoy sexual relations.

If that's the case, how the f**k can one be 'happier abroad'?

I refuse to accept that the nice girls really want to abide by their ingrained social constraints. They are just as human as I; they want to experience the same pleasures.

I was hoping fellow members would be able to offer tips as to how I could circumvent the pre existing barriers to a more natural and healthy relationship. Evidently members herein have no such knowledge and simply kowtow to the rigid conventions initiated by religious extremists of old.

Utter insanity.

Not all girls are slutty like that; there are still some 'nice girls' left in the world, but admittedly, there are fewer and fewer in numbers. Actually, it's really rare to find a women that is still a virgin in these times...Most so called 'nice girls' are complete liars nowadays, so I don't really understand your problem? Are you saying that all the 'nice girls' you meet abroad are sexual prudes and don't want to have sex until marriage? Why is that such a bad thing?

And, if you really want to deflower a 'nice girl', why not have a monogamous relationship with them, while having sex with a prostitute in the sideline, until the girl is ready to have sexual relations with you. I know those kinds of girls you're talking about, and they're really don't-put out so easily, without some real work involved. Maybe PUA skills will come in handy in those instances?

[Teal Lantern]

I never suggested that they should, but it would be nice if I didn't have to get married just to make love with a girl.
I wouldn't describe myself as a 'monger' at all.
Ideally I would like a stable, long term relationship, I never want to marry.

I've traveled extensively over the past 3 years in search of a different way of life.
My sallies haven't solely revolved around women but, having said that, it has played a major part in my transient lifestyle.
I don't need to delve into the reasons why the women of afar are more attractive prospects.
My fieldwork abroad has uncovered a troublesome dichotomy: the 'nice girl' syndrome.
These girls are so perfect and enchanting in every way -- except of course sexually.
I get sucked in by their sweetness and effervescence, only to then find out they will only proffer themselves sexually to their future husbands. It really blows whale phallus.
...
Many thanks for any suggestions.

Offer her family a sufficiently large surety bond.

[smallcheese]

Unless you look like George Clooney having looks, money and personality, getting into a long term relationship with a "nice girl" and having sex without ever getting married, is difficult. Serial monogamy without marriage works for guys like Clooney and Leonardo DiCaprio. For us mere mortals, we need to be more creative. If your moral ethics enable you to string a girl along on the promise of marriage, so that you can get her to have sex with you regularly then this might work. And when it gets too close to getting engaged and making it official, you dump the girl and move on to the next girl. That seems to be the best strategy I can think of that would meet your requirements. If you do this, long distance, long term relationships are easier to break off. Some men can do this easily without feeling any guilt or remorse. Other men can't because their moral compass or code of ethics won't allow them to do this to a woman who is just trying to find a good, trustworthy man. The question is, what are you willing to do?

[Adama]

I'm with Germanguy and Ghost on this one.

It sounds like this guy has stumbled on the wrong country, or is a lying troll. Don't deflower a woman unless you intend to marry her. Period. If she is waiting for marriage, respect that, rather than trying to trick her into having sex with you. Dont you find the idea morally repugnant?

That's why prostitutes exist (outside of North America). If you can't or wont wait for marriage AND you arent in a country full of women which want to fornicate, then you can visit prostitutes.

My advice would be to do as GermanGuy says: Go to a western country in which the women are promiscuous. Western Europe is definitely the place for that. Leave the genuinely traditional women alone.

Many of us here want to have successful marriages. The divorce rate goes up significantly for every partner a woman has had sex with before her husband. Essentially, with non-prostitutes, non-sluts, you are ruining other men's future wives.

[Winston]

MasterBates,
Does your username mean what I think it does? lol

[MasterBates]

I'm with Germanguy and Ghost on this one.

It sounds like this guy has stumbled on the wrong country, or is a lying troll. Don't deflower a woman unless you intend to marry her. Period. If she is waiting for marriage, respect that, rather than trying to trick her into having sex with you. Dont you find the idea morally repugnant?

That's why hoes exist (outside of North America). If you can't or wont wait for marriage AND you arent in a country full of women which want to fornicate, then you can visit hoes.

My advice would be to do as GermanGuy says: Go to a western country in which the women are promiscuous. Western Europe is definitely the place for that. Leave the genuinely traditional women alone.

Many of us here want to have successful marriages. The divorce rate goes up significantly for every partner a woman has had sex with before her husband. Essentially, with non-hoes, non-sluts, you are ruining other men's future wives.

You have failed to spot my predicament: I don't want marriage!! Ever!

I therefore have to find a way of convincing the girl that this step isn't necessary, and that a long term stable relationship offers more benefits for both of us.

This isn't about easy access to sex -- the hoes have that covered. lol.

[jboy]

MasterBates,
Does your username mean what I think it does? lol

Its as genius as Will N. Dowd's username is. Well done MasterBates! Lol

[jboy]

It does not bring nothing but emptiness. That's a dismal way to look at it. If you monger right, it brings pleasure, satisfaction and variety, even if only temporarily. But alas, everything is temporary. That's life. Isn't it better to enjoy it than not to? Some of my mongering sexual experiences were better than my relationship ones. If you find the right one in SE Asia, she can put you on cloud 9 too, for an out of this world experience. These are experiences you would never trade for anything.

I've had some great sex with hookers. I even found a white chick who barebacked as long as you wanted for the price of a videogame. She was a "green and clean" escort! Personally, I wish that I never had those experiences. But I'm glad that I did, they made me realize how deadly giving in to your primitive desires can be.

On the other hand, if you get married, most likely you will stop having sex after a while when you get sick of banging the same person everyday. Then you will fall into a "sexless life" routine. What then? You can't have another woman without cheating on your wife. So what then? You're screwed aren't you?

It depends on who you marry and how quickly. If you just keep giving, people are gonna walk on you.

If "variety is the spice of life" then doesn't that apply to sexual experiences too? Why is it that variety in travel, food, and culture is ok, but not in sex?

My opinion is based on how sex actually works, and my experiences having sex with people. I have no need to settle sexual urges. It's a luxury I can afford not to have now.

Everything has its pluses and minuses, but you act as if all mongering only has minuses. That's definitely not true at all.

No, frequent sex has more minuses than pluses. Most of you think that sex has only a plus, pleasure and a pro, babies. But it carries way more cons than pros. And Winston, I can tell how sex has affected you, just by your posting here. Usually, people with low energy lost it from frequent sex.

The only thing I hate about mongers is their tendency to spoil the purer fruit. If they just messed with like people(whores for whores), then I wouldn't mind them personally. I also have a beef with this norwegian man-whore who messed with a good girl I liked a while back, before I met her. He was deceitful, ugly and stupid. Classic westerner.

Mongers have that tendency to ruin good girls either sexually or mess them up in the head. I hate it when I find a perfectly great woman and she would have problems trusting me due to some monger story that messed her up or someone she knows.

I've had sexual relations with women (promiscuous ones) that I am not proud of. There is no conquering and no winning a slut, what I want is a good woman who has traditional values who will tolerate that I need an outlet for my needs as a man until she is ready to give me some, be it in marriage or a long term relationship. I guess the problem lies on the fact good girls won't tolerate a man boinking someone else than her, and of course a good girl won't go all the way unless in a commited or a long term relationship

[Teal Lantern]

[S_Parc]

MasterBates,
Does your username mean what I think it does? lol

Its as genius as Will N. Dowd's username is. Well done MasterBates! Lol

You guys need to start watching some classic comedies ...

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Toy

Richard Pryor was hired to entertain the rich brat, "Master" Bates, and teach him that human being aren't toy, which can be owned.

[jboy]

MasterBates,
Does your username mean what I think it does? lol

Its as genius as Will N. Dowd's username is. Well done MasterBates! Lol

You guys need to start watching some classic comedies ...

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Toy

Richard Pryor was hired to entertain the rich brat, "Master" Bates, and teach him that human being aren't toy, which can be owned.

I was pulling on Winnie's leg lol

Hey, don't u think its funny we have Master Bates and Will N Dowd here? Its juvenile gutter humor but am drunk tonight, excuse me bros lol.

[S_Parc]

I was pulling on Winnie's leg lol

Hey, don't u think its funny we have Master Bates and Will N Dowd here? Its juvenile gutter humor but am drunk tonight, excuse me bros lol.

I'm waiting for Mike Hunt to show up

[S_Parc]

I don't mean to start whipping on a dying horse, but a real-life former Boston Celtic's defensive coach was named Dick Harter.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dick_Harter

Throughout those years, none of us fans could even utter his name without bursting out laughing. I wonder how the sportscasters managed It must have been HARD

[C.J.]

BTW Anti-American, a Catch-22 is a situation where you can WIN, but not without LOSING in some way. The situation can go smoothly, but not in the way you want.

Your presumptuous and acerbic nature explain why you failed so miserably to relate to your German compatriots.

How dare you presume that I'm American! How arrogant and ignorant of you!

AFAIC, all people who were born and lived in the west for at least most of their childhood years are westerners. Westerners as a whole have a dirty reputation.

This forum appears to be populated by crazed, religious nutters who think that one has to get married before he has the right to enjoy sexual relations.

If that's the case, how the f**k can one be 'happier abroad'?

I refuse to accept that the nice girls really want to abide by their ingrained social constraints. They are just as human as I; they want to experience the same pleasures.

Thats westerner's logic really. Many members here, have proved you can be happy and lead a fulfilling life without boinking every vagina you see. And it really isn't about that.

It's not about the promiscuity you intend to indulge in. It's about who's life you're going to ruin. It's about the image of foreigners everywhere. It's about what you're going to make other women, do to other men who truly want them, but got ruined by you first.

That's what many members are going on about. Because really, I haven't seen a westerner just "ok, sow some wild oats" and then STOP and then go about doing something much more productive. Because of the stupidity of foreign women and the fact that most westerners think with their dick, they usually just indulge until they get a STD, or make many babies. And sometimes, they STILL don't stop f***ing around! I think I'm one of the few folks who actually stopped of their own volition after sewing some serious oats.

And let's say you do want long-term, fulfilling relationship. Why does it have to be just kiss-kiss-bang-bang? You don't have to marry, you can just be with the women you like for a long period of time. Make her a point of romantic interest in your foreign travels. But when you asked how to just skip the relationship/bonding and go to the ugly bumping, most guys know what you're going to do. Pump and dump normal girls. Expecting you, a westerner, to do anything different is insanity.

I was hoping fellow members would be able to offer tips as to how I could circumvent the pre existing barriers to a more natural and healthy relationship. Evidently members herein have no such knowledge and simply kowtow to the rigid conventions initiated by religious extremists of old.

Such "pump and dump" relationships aren't natural or healthy, for the reaosns everybody explained. If you wanna be a whore, be a whore, there are whole countries where you can do that.

But at least leave some normal girls for everyone else. Young, legal, mentally un-warped women don't just grow on trees.

[djfourmoney]

This the problem with White men and people that adopt White man's value system.

Its FLAWED!

Most White men do not want to married Mother Teresa but they don't want to marry a Porn Star either, so they set up this false dichotomy. A nice girl is a good idea until you try and f**k her and she won't relent.

Then you think that's some sort of problem.

The problem is NOT THEM, its YOU!

If a "Nice" girl expects you to commit to her before she opens her legs, then ask yourself if you wanna be with this women long term. If the answer is no, then move on, you're not in a scarcity market anymore, plenty of women to choose from. Western men loved to handcuff themselves to ONE woman which is why WOVO is so popular in the Find a Bride space. They take that stupid Anglo Saxon mindset with them and screw things up.

A woman has no obligation to f**k you, which is why men LOVE creating these obligations = Workplace abuses and Loaning Women money

Only White men have enough extra income to play the role of SIMP, which they often find themselves in.

So they get mad when it seems women react positively to thug/gangsta types, especially if they are men of color.

I would also recommend Western Europe as most women separate sexual contact from relationship building. In other words you can bang a Swedish girl you just met, but she won't be expecting a phone call from you the next day or even a few days later.