I'm dating a white gal, her family hates me, long story/pics

[AnonymousAmerican]

dude, bail anglo women. they are all a bunch of crazy useless whores. I am Mexican-American and you can forget about me dating another white anglo chick again.

[RedMenace]

We seem to be the complete opposite when it comes to women. I have a preference for Asian women not because of looks but because of their family oriented culture. Looks are superficial. In about 10 year time this white girl will look old and saggy. Will you have the same love for her then since you are with her for her looks in the first place.

See this is why I focus more on the contents of a woman's personality and how compatible our skills are together. I am the technical kind of guy so if i find a woman who is into art & design and has the traditional views of a woman's role in a family then we are good to go because i know we will always find peace working together since our interests compliment each other. The added bonus of Asian women ageing well is a plus. It's harder for us too because we have to prove we are not the gangster types portrayed in the media. Once that's over people tend to like you regardless of your race.

At the end of the day it's more about class and than race. Generally a rich black or Asian man will be more respected more than a poor Caucasian male. I think you need to spend time looking in yourself and try to get rid of your self hate that's causing you to blindly date blond hair blue eyes Caucasian females or any Caucasian female for that matter. You will always find problems if you don't. Besides your children will learn the same self hate from you.

I also have a tendency to feel inferior to Caucasian males but that's mostly because they are in charge of the most powerful countries so are actually at the the forefront of globalisation. Through globalisation they spread their standard of beauty and values all around the world. That's why Caucasian males are seen as a catch by women all around the world. I think of the genetic benefits I inherit from my race such as resistance to lice and the sun or the fact that melanin makes my skin stay elastic in old age which means I age better. All of this helps me get out of the short moment of doubt and I feel like no Caucasian is better than me simply because of their skin color.

If you are Mongolian you should be thinking of your ancestor's conquest. The fact that he conquered so much land which clearly shows he was in fact superior to Caucasian males. Not only that he is of the same racial group as you. That alone should make you feel less superior. Most of the time people will prejudge you but most are open minded. That's where you can change the stereotypes they may have. The first time i met two Asian women they thought I could rap e.t.c Then they found out I am far from the rapper type and now know that black males can also be intellectuals and functional citizens.

Anyways dude you should probably focus on the contents of her personality rather than her blond hair or blue eyes.

[Teal Lantern]

Is this a lost cause, or one worth fighting for? Can anyone relate?

I'm going to take a different tack from the others.

She sounds like the cure for what ills you.
Ask yourself who deserves a girl like her, more than you.

[RedMenace]

Is this a lost cause, or one worth fighting for? Can anyone relate?

I'm going to take a different tack from the others.

She sounds like the cure for what ills you.
Ask yourself who deserves a girl like her, more than you.

That's a good advice but love and marriage are two way things. It will stop dead in its track if she happens to leave him. There is nothing he can do but move on.

[kai1275]

I will try to keep it short and sweet this time:

1. Get away from mentally unstable Western Women. You sound just like me when I was with my Nigerian-American exwife. All those things are signs of ill omen. Only a fool will ignore them. At least you found the right place for information before getting married and divorcing unlike myself. Whatever mental weaknesses you see, will only get worse from there. My ex-wife showed signs, and I begged her to get help, and right before the divorce long story short, she discovered she had a mental illness.

2. Stop playing Capt. Save-A-Hoe. Not calling her a hoe, but a real wife COMPLEMENTS her man, never a polar opposite or contrast.

3. You can find some better looking blondes than that somewhere else in Europe that would be happy to have a handsome guy like yourself. NEVER settle for less! You deserve better and only you can save yourself from a miserable future.

4. Also I think you look better than she does. That is a bonafide mismatch. I wrote about this before at length, but a wife needs to be prettier than her husband because it will give her the proper natural confidence required to be a wife that is not looked at strangely from her peers and relatives. Her self-esteem is not something you can control. You can tell her if she is pretty and not fat everyday, but she wont f***ing believe you. She will always feel inadequate and you will never know it. It will only show in her behavior.

5. Bad in-laws can ruin your life in ways worse than any Western Woman alone can. Think about it. Could you tolerate living in the same house with people that you know hate you? What if they convince her to kill you or abandon you and take everything? Young men never learn until it is too late, that most women, Western or Eastern NEVER go against their parents. Even if they do, could she testify in court against them on your behalf? If you cannot strongly answer yes to that, leave her. That happened to me and I almost lost everything I worked hard for. By the grace of God he delivered me out of that mess, he blessed me with a very pretty Chinese wife, a badass job, and life is awesome right now.

Good luck.

[Teal Lantern]

That's a good advice but love and marriage are two way things. It will stop dead in its track if she happens to leave him. There is nothing he can do but move on.

That's part of the learning curve.
Some people HAVE to touch the stove to understand "hot".
When a young man has his NAWALT goggles on, nothing unpleasant you say about his girl is going to be believed.

He's already said "I'm not going to jump out of the relationship if I think it can work because I think she might dump me first.
I don't really care who gets the last laugh. "
At this stage, he'd be willing to rationalize away a fresh wet spot he didn't help to make.
(Wow, she must have been really, really "excited", thinking about me ...)

He'll need to go through the experience and be one of those who says, afterwards
"I should have listened to the warnings, I ignored the signs ..."
Better he experience and internalize Briffault's Law now, while he's still young.

BRIFFAULT’S LAW:
The female, not the male, determines all the conditions of the animal family.
Where the female can derive no benefit from association with the male, no such association takes place.

[Taco]

dude, bail anglo women. they are all a bunch of crazy useless whores. I am Mexican-American and you can forget about me dating another white anglo chick again.

+1

That's the best advice in the world. It doesn't matter which country they come from there all the same.

[mguy]

Nice story, thanks for sharing.

My advise:

I would like to say take what you can. But her fkin smile and the thought that I'm advising a younger guy that could easily be my brother prevents me.

So here.

If she is willing to work with you, then you should work at it. f**k the racial shit, she could easily be the future of mother of your kids. So, if family is what you want, she might be it -- but time is running out. Fck what her family thinks of you, bc in the end, you will be her family.

On the other hand.

You have already conquered her, so what gives? Are you scared you might not get another? Bro, there are lots of fishes in the sea, and if you want white then there is dating abroad. I have been in situations where the girl is pushing for marriage (attractive girls ok) and I have consistently been tempted but in the end I do not regret it. I am 28 and consider not getting married one of my better decisions.

[mguy]

I just read the part about not wanting marriage with her. Ok. so what gives?

You'll get tired of her then drop her.

[Repatriate]

Relax with the insults. The context is a little different. She just got on the pill again and it messes with her mood, she usually doesn't want sex for the first month. I did, and with birth control I've pressured her to have sex when she didn't want to. On the Saturday before the Sunday that she left, we were exhausted but I was being pushy. Before she left, she told me it was unlikely she would come over the next day. She did not and didn't leave a message. We both knew this was because I was going to push for sex.

Did she get on the pill just for you and she's refusing sex even when on it? That's mighty fishy if you ask me. The pill is pretty hard on a woman's body and it's usually not that easy of a decision.

You're both young and there's already no mutual physical stimulation or attraction. This is not going to end well.

This was a shitty thing to do and unusual, but the thing is, I've done this to her before too where I bail out on something or show up late.

It doesn't matter if you've done this too what matters is that she doesn't do this to you and respects you as the man in the relationship. This isn't a two-way street i'll mess with you and you can mess with me too type of thing. She can do that shit with her girlfriends. It's you who should be setting the ground rules and not her. There is a notable lack of respect here for you as a man and also a sexual being that's a big red flag.

Nor did I say I'm contemplating marriage. I should be more specific: I am contemplating staying in the relationship with the knowledge that it won't end in marriage and that's going to cause problems.

You're both young I guess you can waste each others time a bit more before moving on but to be honest there's little to be gained in staying in something like this. I am a person who has had a habit of staying in relationships for far too long so let me give you this piece of advice..don't do it. You're wasting valuable time as a young man. She is wasting valuable time she could spending finding someone who will put up with her neurotic tendencies and anglo woman personality. I'd say move on to new women. This relationship has gone stale.

[E Irizarry R&B Singer]

The first girl I ever slept with was a Finnish exchange student, heh. She was really up front and fun, just laid-back about the whole thing.....

Wow, really? ....and you're still "missing it"....no pun intended to longing for the day to sleep with the Finnish exchange female student again!!!
If you see that the woman from Finland was upfront about intimacy and her onslaught of personality, then why settle for AW thinking that's the best you can do?

[Repatriate]

The first girl I ever slept with was a Finnish exchange student, heh. She was really up front and fun, just laid-back about the whole thing.....

Wow, really? ....and you're still "missing it"....no pun intended to longing for the day to sleep with the Finnish exchange female student again!!!
If you see that the woman from Finland was upfront about intimacy and her onslaught of personality, then why settle for AW thinking that's the best you can do?

It seems like this guy has some kind of trophy mentality when it comes to race. He views white women as a trophy and puts them on a pedestal automatically. He doesn't make distinctions when it comes to the relative inferiority of north american women and the rest of the world. He groups them all by race. A white blonde woman is a white blonde woman anywhere to this guy. He's setting himself up for disaster, disappointment, and financial ruin.

[HorseFromWater]

Lot of strong opinions in this thread, thanks for your thoughts.

@red: I'm not Mongolian although people always ask if I'm mixed Mongol or Japanese. I definitely am not ashamed of my heritage anymore, or my genetics. I'm frustrated that both are mocked and parodied in the media.

@teal: I'm talking more about my attitude in general when it comes to not jumping out of a relationship. If we hit a rough patch, I'm not going to abandon her out of fear she will do the same and I will lose face. It's pointless, imo, to treat the relationship with so little trust.

@mguy: Yeah but we all get tired of each other eventually, don't we? Good things are worth riding out even with bumps on the road.

@repatriate: She got on the pill because it helps clear up her skin. We are attracted to each other, but yes, she had a weekend where she wasn't interested in sex at all. I think most women, anglo or not, experienced reduced sex drive for reasons beyond their mate. Obviously it's not all like this all the time.

I get that you have a traditional perspective on feminism and what the woman's role is in a relationship. But I don't think it's unusual for all couples, not just North American ones, to fight and for both parties to be selfish. Nor do I want/expect to play god with a perfect woman who is always on time and responsive to my commands while not mentioning any of my mistakes. I will end up as a more unpleasant person overall with someone like that in my life.

---

You guys sound sure of your views on that most, if not all North American women are crazy sluts. I think there are definitely problems with North American culture that reflect in our relationships - our obsession with money and beauty over personality and the pressure we place on ourselves to acquire status and to be viewed as valuable to others. But I don't like to make sweeping statements about whole groups of people in general, call me crazy, and I have met some women who admit that they find money and beauty attractive, but they listened to their minds over their hormones and went with somebody actually compatible with them and are happier for it. After all, a lot of the Asian men on this forum would consider themselves the exception to the norm, right? If we refuse to believe that North American women can ever defy expectations, then we don't consider them people. That's pretty weird.

I'm not sure what I'm going to do with my girl yet. If she keeps showing through her actions, not her words that she's willing to make this work then great. If not, it'll sting but I'll live and it's a lesson learned.

[HorseFromWater]

The first girl I ever slept with was a Finnish exchange student, heh. She was really up front and fun, just laid-back about the whole thing.....

Wow, really? ....and you're still "missing it"....no pun intended to longing for the day to sleep with the Finnish exchange female student again!!!
If you see that the woman from Finland was upfront about intimacy and her onslaught of personality, then why settle for AW thinking that's the best you can do?

It seems like this guy has some kind of trophy mentality when it comes to race. He views white women as a trophy and puts them on a pedestal automatically. He doesn't make distinctions when it comes to the relative inferiority of north american women and the rest of the world. He groups them all by race. A white blonde woman is a white blonde woman anywhere to this guy. He's setting himself up for disaster, disappointment, and financial ruin.

That's part of it, but my perspective is more complex. A lot of Asian women I've found are strictly attracted to white guys. A lot of them have treated me in a more materialistic manner on dates etc. asking me what I do immediately, asking my age (which is always lower than they expect...). A lot of them are worried that I will turn out like their controlling fathers, I think. Sometimes, there is a language barrier and I am at my best when able to talk.

Most of the women who flirt with me or are responsive to my flirting have been white girls. Perhaps there is a subconscious racial element, not denying that, but they are also the group that I experience the most success with.

But ease up on the personal judgements. You sound like a bitter person. We've all experienced tragedies and stupid mistakes and I am good at dealing with pain. Getting played once or twice is not going to break me in half even if it happens.

I'm not saying you guys are idiots or your perspectives are unfounded either. My education has pushed me into feminist readings and the more I read versus the more I observe reality the more disillusioned I become with theory vs practice overall. I think feminism serves a much better role in places like rural Africa, where women are mutilated and treated like cattle, or in the sweatshops in East Asia. In universities here, I think it's more of a tool with which to power struggle. A lot of my guy friends are sick of the games, coldness and lying too, and that's why I'm always joking with them that we should go travelling and see if women are f***ed up everywhere. Which is how I ended up here. I just don't want to take an extreme stance, nor do I want my reality to become clouded with hatred and bitterness.

[Repatriate]

@repatriate: She got on the pill because it helps clear up her skin. We are attracted to each other, but yes, she had a weekend where she wasn't interested in sex at all. I think most women, anglo or not, experienced reduced sex drive for reasons beyond their mate. Obviously it's not all like this all the time.

Sure, so she did it to clear her skin. So you're absolutely positively certain she's not having sex when she's away from you for 2 week stretches? And you are certain of this in what way?

I get that you have a traditional perspective on feminism and what the woman's role is in a relationship. But I don't think it's unusual for all couples, not just North American ones, to fight and for both parties to be selfish. Nor do I want/expect to play god with a perfect woman who is always on time and responsive to my commands while not mentioning any of my mistakes. I will end up as a more unpleasant person overall with someone like that in my life.

It's not about playing god it's about basic respect. Despite what you've been brainwashed to believe women do like it when men act like men. Women lose respect and will take advantage of your weakness as a man. This is especially true when it comes to North American women whose gender belief system has been short circuited to accept nothing less than the perfect male or one who exhibits complete alpha dominance.

You guys sound sure of your views on that most, if not all North American women are crazy sluts. I think there are definitely problems with North American culture that reflect in our relationships - our obsession with money and beauty over personality and the pressure we place on ourselves to acquire status and to be viewed as valuable to others. But I don't like to make sweeping statements about whole groups of people in general, call me crazy, and I have met some women who admit that they find money and beauty attractive, but they listened to their minds over their hormones and went with somebody actually compatible with them and are happier for it. After all, a lot of the Asian men on this forum would consider themselves the exception to the norm, right? If we refuse to believe that North American women can ever defy expectations, then we don't consider them people. That's pretty weird.

I'm sure there are exceptions. You can find extreme outliers anywhere but it's statistically not in your favor to find out who is a genuinely great Canadian or American girl or who isn't until it's much too late. North American marriage laws will ruin your shit at the first misstep. They will damage you emotionally and break you financially especially if you end up having kids with someone you regret. I don't think you've taken the red pill yet..it might not be too late for you. Then again maybe you'll just have to learn the hard way. Keep these words in mind:

North American women are the biggest mistake you will ever make in your life.