Join John Adams, world renowned Intl Matchmaker, Monday nights 8:30 EST for Live Webcasts!
And check out Five Reasons why you should attend a FREE AFA Seminar! See locations and dates here.
View Active Topics View Your Posts Latest 100 Topics FAQ Topics Mobile Friendly Theme
Post your trip reports, travel experiences, and updates abroad. Or your expat story if you already live overseas. Note: To post photos and images, insert the image URL between the tags [img]and[/img] after uploading them to a third party site.
[Just a note: most of the pictures I took in in person with my iPhone, but not all of them.]
I've been chatting with girls from Cebuanas.com and Filiapinaheart.com. Honestly, I was looking for the right person to marry and to share my life with. I don't have trouble dating (and sleeping with) women in the US (mostly Caucasian girls), but I do have trouble meeting the kind of woman that I would like to marry. The women I'm with in the US usually want to marry me, but I don't want them for various reasons (they have kids already, are currently married or divorced, or smoke, or are overweight. Those qualifications eliminate almost everyone woman I meet in the USA).
I've always wondered if the kind of girl I'm looking for is in the Phils, so I thought now is the time to find out! Of course, I was wanting to have some fun as well! I had planned to meet 3 ladies and spend 2 and a half days with each. Each of these girls, I spent a month or two getting to know online via countless IM messages on Yahoo! Messenger, Skype video chat, and many e-mails, etc. So, I wasn't meeting strangers--I already had a relationship and knew a lot about these girls before I met them. Each of the these girls knew that I was meeting more than one girl, and that I was planning to marry someone I met during this vacation.
The reason why I didn't meet just one girl but planned to meet 3 is because it takes thousands of dollars for a round trip, and 48 hours in the air round-trip. You can never really get to know a person until you meet them in person. So, I couldn't justify the time and expense by meeting just one person. Imagine if after 20 minutes I realized that a girl isn't the right one, and I still have 7 more days in the Phils. So, I selected the 3 I was most serious about potentially marrying.
I left on Sunday the 25th around noon and arrived on Monday the 26th just before midnight. Okay, so the air flight from Chicago to Cebu was about 24 hours, with a 4 hour layover in Seoul, South Korea. That was a long flight!
The first girl I was going to meet was Karen. She was from a small town near Tacloban city south of Cebu. She took a boat to visit me. She was going to meet me at the airport, but she was late for the boat (all of these girls were late by the way!!! Like, hours late!) so she met me Tuesday morning. I had such an amazing time! We spent most of Tuesday at mall where I got to see a variety of things. We checked out the stores, ate at a few restaurants, played air hockey at the arcade, etc. The next day we mostly kicked back at the hotel pool. Of course we went out here and there. Oh, we stumbled upon a music store and I jammed on the electric guitar for awhile while she recorded. She was so cool, real, fun, genuine. She had an endless supply of energy, both in and out of the bedroom. I could have spent forever with her.
On Wednesday afternoon, I left for Manila to meet Margie. However, Margie worked until 7pm and didn't want to be obvious that she was leaving work to meet a guy, so I met her Friday morning (well, ended up being afternoon/evening). Since I had Thursday night free, and GieGie was practically begging to spend the night with me, on Thursday afternoon I let her come over. She was amazing--so much sexier in person than in her photos or on Skype. We had a wonderful dinner by the bay, and amazing night. I wish I had more time with her. Wow, so much fun!
Okay, so Margie was the second girl I planned to meet. We had a wonderful time visiting various places, seeing beautiful gardens, a castle with a dungeon, and we visited the Mall of Asia (I'm told it's the largest Mall in all of Asia? I haven't fact-checked this. It was huge though! I don't even think you could reasonable visit or walk by every store in a day. Maybe if you made it a mission!). We ice-skated in the mall, which is such a great date! She never ice skated before, so lot's of excuses to touch her and keep her up and safe.
The next day was mostly spent in the hotel room. We had fun over and over. We didn't want to leave each other.
She left Thursday afternoon and that evening (Sunday) I met Bea Mae. It was a 6 hour bus ride for her to meet me in Manila. She was a sweet girl, a little strange. It turns out she has stage 3 breast cancer. Not to worry, because she is taking pills that are helping, and they don't even make her sick! Well, actually I'm a nurse (just got my license by the way!) and looked it up: in the USA a patient with stage 3 breast cancer has a 50% chance of being alive in 5 years. And that's with proper treatment: cutting the cancer out (mastectomy), burning it (radiation), and poisoning it (chemo, which makes the patient sick too! Many patients chose to die over taking chemo. So, this "chemo" that wasn't making her feel nauseated at all--I'm skeptical about).
I did tell her about the severity of her condition--someone had to.
I also told her that I couldn't marry someone that likely wouldn't be alive in 5 years. She understood and insisted on spending time with me. I tried to get her to leave the next morning but she wouldn't go! I let her spend another night with me. She seemed conservative getting her in bed, but was actually surprisingly wild. She glowed while we were together, I could tell that she was so happy. She knew we couldn't marry, but just wanted to hold on to our moment together forever. It seemed like her two nights with me were the best days of her life. After I got back to the U.S., she has sent me e-mails stating how special our time was, and that our time together is her inspiration to fight her cancer. Awe.
Well, my last day (Tuesday) I had nothing to do, so I contacted Rochelle. There was a time when I was interested in Rochelle, but she ended up being obsessive, rude, and sometimes kind of a b!tch. Her face wasn't the best, but OMG she had a slim waist and large luscious breasts--rare to find the petite busty Asian. Always wanted to be with one. So, I called her up and we spent a few hours together in my hotel. WOW is all I can say! I can still imagine how she felt, her breasts, etc. Amazing. After she left I raced to the airport to head back to the USA.
So, I went to meet 3 women, but ended up meeting two extra.
I'm going to marry Karen. She was just so wonderful and amazing, and I know she's the right one! I'm super-excited! I've been staying in touch with her everyday and know in my heart that this is the right decision. Of course, I had such an amazing time with the other girls too. Especially Marige. If I hadn't met Karen, I could definitely spend the rest of my life with sweet Margie. All of the girls were real. None of them asked for money or for me to buy anything. They all just left it up to me where to go, they never hinted they wanted to go here or there. They all genuinely seemed to want to get to know me, spend time with me, "take care of me" , and ultimately hope that I would marry them.
I just looked at the pictures, I haven't read what you've written, yet, but the bit that caught my eye is when you say that you're going to marry one of them.
Don't do it. You need to get to know someone properly first. 8 days? Come on man. My advice could end up saving your ass, if you take it. And I'm just an ignorant shmuck with hardly any experience.
Thank you for your comment/warning.
Well, as you said you haven't read my post (yet), just the pictures and the one sentence in bold declaring that I'm going to marry one of them. If you had read my post, you'd know that I spent a couple of months getting to know her (each of these girls, actually) over Instant Messenger, e-mails and video chatting. I didn't come all of this way to meet strangers.
Also, the way the USA works, is 1st I apply for a Fiancee Visa. Then, she can visit for 3 months and during that visit, we can marry. Hopefully, she can come in December (the Phils has a fast approval speed for Fiancee visas: often 3 to 5 weeks vs. months from other countries). So, by the time we would marry we would have met in the Philippines, got to know each other for 9 months, and have lived together for 2 months (during her fiancee visa stay). So yes, I do believe that is enough time. I've seen happy lasting domestic marriages made in less time.
And since I'm a young working man who is also going to school, I can't just take off for 3 or 6 months and live there. I'm 33--far from retirement and bills to pay, etc. It's hard enough for me to get an entire week off, and a round trip all in all costs about $2k for a week. It'll be 22 years until I can take 3 months off, and I'm not waiting that long hehe. My point is that I either do it this way now, or wait 22 years. I also don't believe I would learn anything significant by spending the money and time to visit again that I wouldn't learn by talking to her on the phone often, video chatting, and having her live with me for 2 months before marriage.
Great stuff and I am happy for you, man. Interestingly enough none of those girls appealed to me at all. Which goes to show that there's no accounting over tastes.
Nice to see people taking action and inspiring others with their actions. Way to go, dude!
Since you are dead set on marrying the girls I recommend you give her an orientation before she settles in the US with you on:
1) the true state of the US economy vs. the Filipino economy and how an average American lives salary-wise, price-wise, tax-wise, budget-wise, etc. This should include a simple fact that 44 pesos to the dollar does not mean that our salary here is 44 times greater.
2) what you are willing and not willing to do or allow her to do money-wise for "her family' who may now think her daughter married Bill Gates and they can now ask her 24/7 for money for trumped up reasons because you have an unlimited supply of it. The US trumpets around the world through speeches and movies that it's the richest nation on the face of the earth. So how can you not send money to them, because their media tells them they are the poorest nation on earth.
3) explain to her that her family now is you two plus the kids that are to come and you and your expenses within the state of the US economy take priority. That now she must live by and abide by the American money culture.
A simple "orientation" like this will preclude problems from occurring.
Last edited by ladislav on September 16th, 2013, 12:51 am, edited 1 time in total.
A brain is a terrible thing to wash!
Oh s.hit! It's OTB's long-lost cousin! Another pretty boy to the forum! Welcome, buddy! lol
Remember what Pierre had said in "How to be a PLayer" back in '97
"Light skin is back!" [...this had happened every time American women dissed him because he was light skinned
so he had gone to Zamboanga City in Mindanao to find love. Nice!]
It's time to expatriate to evade your fate; it's time to expatriate before the barn door permanently closes on "US" sheep.
- Follow me on Twitter @eirizarryRNB
As a fellow Chicagoan, I say congratulations!
Dude, who gives a shit? You said the same thing on my trip report. Where are your pictures so we can critique your bitches?
I see, your point, man but because I lived in the Philippines, I did not want to post pix without the girls' permission. For America-based guys this is OK but if you live in the PH, who knows what they can say or do. Especially if you show them in pools and in bathing suits and then me with them and then guys making comments n' stuff. Someone's brother can get ticked off and I am toast.
A brain is a terrible thing to wash!
Thanks for the tips! Most of this we did go over, lightly. I will go over them again. She understands that our priority would be us and the kids, and not supporting her family. Still, she would probably want to send home "something." I read on other forums dedicated to happy American - Phils marriages, and it seems that most couples happily married for decades living in the US do send a little something home every month (btw $100 to $200). I'm sure I could get away without sending anything, but from other forums it seems like the family isn't likely to understand, wife feels bad, bad marriage, etc. It's not that a Filipina or her family has ill intentions, it's part of their culture. At any rate, $100/mo or so is no big deal. Whatever happens, it'll be on my terms.
You're right, she doesn't understand the money conversion. She will get to see what my lifestyle is like during the first two months of her visit with me on the fiancee visa. I thought about explaining to her that I am not rich. I'll be making about 70k a year by this time next year, so I'm doing well but just middle class. However, from a Philippines perspective, that is rich. Having a car, multiple computers, air conditioning, washer & dryer (she thinks those are amazing!), being able to pay all the bills on time, affording to go on international vacations from time to time, is ordinary for us but is rich to them. By their definition of rich, the average American is rich. So, I'm not quite sure how to explain it to her--she'll just have to see I suppose.
She wants to be married, have children and a happy life. She did admit that of course she would like a better life too, but who wouldn't? Every American girl I've seen get married marries "up." They marry guys who make more money then them, have higher education, higher status, etc. I've yet to meet the girl with a Bachelor's who married the high school dropout, or the Master's degree girl who married the guy who stocks shelves at Walmart. Almost always, girls everywhere usually marry up and their lives are improved financially, and they move up in status as a result. PhD American women don't marry male truck drivers. My point is, I don't blame her for wanting a better life. Women (people?) everywhere do.
Hehe thanks for the welcome! I'm actually half German and half African-American. Nobody can guess my race though, though Middle Eastern and Hispanic or the most common guesses. The tan skin plus green eyes melt the ladies hearts throughout the world
Thanks! I had the time of my life!
Hmm well I really wanted Asian looking women, and these women were very Asian! These women were very attractive to me. Not perfect 10's, but 7's or 8's. Also, my intention was to find a wife not just a mindless sex machine. So the content of her character, her personality, her dreams and passions were also taken into consideration. I was looking for the right person to share my life with. At any rate, I'm curious as to what you think the hot Filipinas look like.
BTW, whenever I chatted with one that looked like a model, or dressed like she thought she was a model (even if she was plain), she was a stuck up B!*ch who just didn't give a f*k. Like this girl http://www.cebuanas.com/gallery/profile ... exynatalie or this girl http://www.filipinocupid.com/en/profile ... ID/5214711 .
I'd say "I'd like to get to know you better. Tell me a few things about yourself" and she'd just say "ask" and then answer each question with simple words, instead of "I live here, my family is like this, I go to school for that, and like to do this, etc." They are just so hard to talk to, like they think their beauty is enough so they don't have to say much. Also, those girls look mighty Caucasian for an East Asian girl, and I didn't travel around the world to meet an East Asian looking girl that almost looks like the (hot, I'll admit) girl next door.
In the US, I have pretty good success yes. I've had... a lot of women the past few years. Time to settle down. And most of the women I've been with in the USA, as I've said, are either married, divorced, have kids, or don't want kids, or smoke. I refuse to marry a woman with any of those qualities. When I was in my younger 20's I knew lot's of women that met these standards, but now that I'm 33 I don't. The good ones got married, and I waited too long. Even if I could find this elusive girl in the US, I read somewhere that an attractive (American) woman who doesn't marry by 30 probably has unrealistic exceptions. What do you think?
And in the Phils... there is a whole country full of young women who have never been married, don't have kids, want kids, and don't smoke. Plus they are Asian and I love Asian women! And they all want to meet me!
Dude I hate to break your heart but that is WAY TOO FAST for a K1 Visa! It's actually more like 8-12 months!!! My wife and I just went through it, we just submitted her AOS a week ago. The only people that get their K-1 very fast are usually military guys... I have seen some of them getting it within 3-5 months though. Not 3-5 weeks! That's crazy fast! Only emergency visas get processed that fast! Who told you this? Are you US military or something like that?
If you want to get an idea of how long the process takes these days, go to this website:
There has been some delays recently and some issues with demand being too high at some centers so they are rotating caseloads to other ones.
Good luck and awesome trip report!!! I'm glad to hear someone here is getting married!
Really Lad? As high as my standards are, 2 of those women were pretty nice looking in my book. Especially that one with the rack! Much better than some of the other ones from there we got into a lively discussion over....*ahem*
Yes I agree - you cant do it as fast as the OP suggests. But if everything aligns you can do it in 6-7 months.
And yes, Visa Journey has the best info around about the process.
COngrats to the OP!