Heh. There is definitely a little bit of truth to that, but to make a blanket statement about all the women there being like that, but many are not like that at all! You are more likely to run into what I call "High Apathy" Chinese girls. Those could care less about pretty much everything! In fact they remind me of the "soul-less" Taiwan girls you told us about.Winston wrote:Kai,
A guy I met on Couchsurfing told me this about mainland Chinese women. What do you think? Is it true? Why did he have these experiences?
Which leads me to China...I can't speak for Taiwan, which I know you don't favor, but I can say that my experience in China wasn't positive at all. Yes, women were FAR more feminine there than here, and yes I was an exotic, a "catch"...but I found an underlying culture of money-lusting that was even more suffocating than in the US. The lust for money at any cost is THE motivating factor there, and it was at the base of most of my interactions with the Chinese. I respect kindness, modesty and compassion, and in China all of those are seen as weakness. I can tell you more if we meet, with some examples to help my case.
As it is, I am grateful for my time there, as it made me more appreciative of modest Filipinos, and of course for my fiance. And, for that, too, I will post to your forums, which is a good idea. I should spread the good word!
Chinese are extremely practical. It is too easy to misread the women as greedy or as a gold digger if you have no idea why or how they look at money. On the surface, certain activities look primitive and obsessive, but many would weigh life quality higher over money. Chinese are super aggressive about saving money. Also it really depends upon the age and the maturity level. Big City folks are more likely to be legitimately greedy than someone from a smaller city.
There is no simple way to describe it really. I thought the same thing that guy did many years ago, but after a few years, I realized that I misunderstood them completely. Let's try and break down some factors:
1. They have to care a lot about money there because many around them are simply getting rich because they have the right friend (guanxi). Ever see someone driving home a S500 Mercedes Benz in a farmland rural region in the US? No. Because you can live anywhere you want in the US. Hukoben restricts you. So if your neighborhood school buddies banded together to make money, you want in on that too right?
2. They have really bad society controls! I could write a book on how terrible the traffic and police system is in China. You need to have plenty of cash in case you have a car crash or accidentally hurt someone. Living in China can be pretty hazardous in some ways! No insurance usually for these things, so you must have cash! Lots of it!
3. Quite a few things have high costs upfront. Like your school tuition fees. Cellphones, cars, business expenses, medical costs, having a 2nd child, etc. That is why I mentioned that they are super aggressive about saving cash. They don't "thrive" on debt like Americans do. The downside to that, is that you should be frugal and get whatever you can in case of an emergency.
4. Chinese like to lend money to others. Here is the catch though. There are 2 kinds of lenders. They "Jewish kind" and the "non-Jewish" kinds. MANY give money to family and friends, sometimes even strangers for no interest at all. Some are into usury, but the rates or the catch is usually so low that would make your average American say, "THAT'S ALL?!!!" I'm not kidding. It's usually some 1-5% interest or something.
5. Chinese hate wasteful spending, but like any real human, they can be hypocrites too. Spending money on stuff they think is worth it....
6. China is a super fast growing country. So like the American Gold Rushes in the past that made many many white people here in the US, rich for many generations, Chinese are trying to cash in on the many opportunities today. There are now 2 million, millionaires! More than America! Chinese are breaking into every industry they can find. If there was gold literally pouring out of the streams in American forests again, you can bet your ass I would be there too! Some people are still mining gold here but that costs money to start that among other things... Over there, it is who you know (guanxi). Someone (usually relatives) else will lend you money to get started, no big deal.
7. Traditionally Chinese women control the money usually. The women are very involved and interested in their husbands finances as well. Just because they are holding the money does not necessarily mean that they are the ones making the big decisions on the money either. That is still always the man. Just because an American woman tells you she would never steal your money etc. or mentions money to you, does not mean that is true. A typical Chinese woman will never run off with your money like an American would. So their questions and concerns are actually legitimately care about you and the family because they have the mentality that, if you fail, they will fail as well and lose a lot of face.
Remember when dealing with your average Chinese person, that everything is about face. You could be married to a woman that thinks you are disgusting but would never leave you or treat you badly because her she and her family would lose face and be humiliated. They will only leave you if you treat them like shit. Some even do not mind you having whores on the side, just don't bring them back home with you.
8. Chinese do not treat other Chinese and Laowai well outside their family. Chinese people are tooo afraid of being sued by someone, so they will not help someone hurting/dying in the street usually. It's very f***ing sad and one of the reasons why I do not recommend living there. Chinese people drown all the time too. No one knows how to swim and will refuse to rescue anyone usually. A woman being beaten in the street by her husband is ignored unless blood is everywhere, then someone might call the police to break it up.
They just got a new Good Samaritan Law a few weeks ago, because their new president is trying to change how they treat each other. Because of this problem, matters involving money in any capacity tend to get uglier and look uglier than it would in a Western country. A terrible example would be something like a recent story of a driver of a big truck that hit a lady riding a motorcycle. Instead of helping her out from under the truck, he got back into his truck and drove off, crushing her instead. The reason why he did this is because he wanted to avoid paying compensation for the accident, even though technically the bike rider may had been at fault! This is one of the worst stories this year, not common at all, but I bring it up to describe the issues their laws and system have.
In China, if anyone is injured in an accident regardless of fault, you must pay for them for all their medical bills! Again, their system is pretty stupid, so while it is easy to slam them as people, much of their system is of a 3rd World caliber, despite the 1st world money flying around. If America had 3rd world laws and system, many of us would be dead and life here would be much shorter than the average of 74, because we have worse values as a base society than they do.
Anyway, they treat each other badly in public at least. Pushing, fighting, shoving, disregard for other people's safety all because they could lose all of their life's savings or just too much money. Kinda like how doctors in the US can loose too much due to malpractice suits, insurance, etc. So their response to us is to raise the prices at their offices to cover it all. Can't blame them for it really...
Some girls are indeed immature (usually the 26 and under ones) and are materialistic. Some 40 year old ones are like this too! Thing is that if they are bad like this, you will find out pretty quickly. You can even give them a little cash to see what they will do with it. I used to do that as a test on Chinese women's maturity level, but I know many guys here would not do this, lol. The funny thing I learned was that even if they were a little immature, some of them still would have done what I told them to do (*cough* leadership)....eh oh well, I love the one I have better because I don't have to do any of that with her.
That was a good question Winston. I am glad you asked about that because a couple others like Magnum, had some of these issues recently. Let me know if that helps or not. Explaining this is not easy at all and is rather complex at first.