Why are Americans so fake? Fake Smiles, fake greetings, etc?

[kai1275]

AmericaninBangkok,
Maybe Steve has a charisma you don't have? He didn't sleep with them after knowing them for an hour. He built up online chemistry and webcam/phone chat first.

Either way, I find Steve R far MORE CREDIBLE than you. He makes sense and understands me and what he says is far more logical-sounding than what you say. You just make shallow points without depth or intellect.

Steve R is also above most guys here in that he will apologize and admit he was wrong. But most guys can't, even the guys here will never apologize and admit that they were wrong. Steve has made lots of rash decisions and later admitted that he was wrong and foolish when I called him out on it.

I agree with him that REAL MEN will admit when they are wrong. But most Western men, including the men on this forum, can't. In that sense, Steve is above most guys here.

I don't know how credible he is about Thailand, since remember, 100 percent of ALL MEN on earth will CLAIM to be honest and credible. So a man saying that he's honest and credible is nothing new. Not a single man in the world will say otherwise.

But I do find Steve's depth and insight and arguments to make a lot of sense. He is on the ball when it comes to truth and reality. That's my honest impression of him. I've had hours of long conversations with Steve, and he does seem very grounded in reality. He may have strong opinions, but I don't see any indication that he's in "la la land".

Your observations are far more shallow and superficial than Steve's or Ladislav's. You don't see the big picture and there isn't much logic in your points. No offense. That's just my honest opinion based on your posts.

You also sound like you are just arguing for the sake of arguing, without legit logical points. Anyone can argue. But to argue with sense and reasons is another matter.

Even if you have traveled a lot, still, you don't sound like you have much wisdom from your travel experiences. I'm on a deep wavelength, so I always have deep observations. I've learned a lot from my travels, and it's reflected in my writings. Maybe you aren't a deep person, so you can't relate to me. You also sometimes sound too politically correct. Making observations and comparisons does not seem to be your strong suit.

BTW - no offense Kai and others as I am not referring to all women met online, but many here in Thailand are so frigging desperate to find a man they'll sleep with damn near anyone. They don't want sex to get in the way of a possible relationship where a man will take care of them. The problem I see, besides being needy, is that many have kids, many have boyfriends with no money, they're head cases, or they're scammers. Good on Steve for banging some chick in under an hour + chat time. Guarantee you she was no "good girl" like he has stated.

I don't see any place where offense can be taken... I agree 100% with you as well. Just like I said in another recent topic, many women think they are slick and sneaky! Online or not! If all they need to do is wink and nod, to get you to whip out your dick, you are a bonafide idiot! Bad women are not always "obvious" to an un-savvy man, which is why I made that guide and contribute as much as I can here. Your penis will fool you if you do not think with your other head. p***y Kills. If this Steve guy really is like what others here have observed, then he is either lying to you, or he just simply has it coming to him. He will eventually get his if that is the way he rolls. No one is immune to that shit.

Winston you need to understand that just because guys seem to only tell you why NOT to do something, it might be because they got tricked as well!! Perhaps, they just do not want to tell you about their failures. I got tricked or lied to by at least 5 Chinese girls before, many other non-chinese ones, I just might not told you all the stories yet. That experience does allow me to tell others what to look for though, and that is priceless because they won't make the same mistake. People are dirty EVERYWHERE in the world, especially in terms of money. What helps to fuel relationships? Money. Nuff said. Smiles do not mean very much. Complete actions as a whole do.

I also strongly disagree with Winston too when he says you do not have experiences to share. Have you read ANYTHING from AIB before? Dude is the BEST Thailand expert on HA, hands f***ing down! Dude's knowledge is deeeeeep. He is probably post for post, the strongest poster on HA. Put a vote on it and I would bet my money on AIB. Unlike me and others, he does not make anywhere near the amount of non-serious wasteful posts anyone else here makes. Any advice he gives is well appreciated by many others here. I personally know a few guys very similar like him that live in other places with very deep experience, but they would never post here on HA, we are lucky he does. You should take some time to see the value he has given here, think about, and try to appreciate how much he actually cares about you and the others here, because if he did not he would have stopped posting here a very long time ago.

[bennandsarah]

you know the old adage that opinios are like ahol$# -- everyone has one. but as a fairly new poster who pretty much stays out of any negativity i feel like i'm entitled to one opinion/ comment --

i think winston is truly right on about so much in america. and i personally love that.
but the things that turns me off about this forum are twofold.

first. winston. you are a smart man. but some bite of humble pie would do you well and perhaps lessen the ability of using you as cannon fodder. a truly brilliant man shows us with his words actions and deeds his brilliance. he does not go around telling others how special-brilliant-deep-and amazing he his -- as welll as how his opinion are more valid than another humanbeing. when you do that i recoil. just like those questions about are nazis really all bad -- i'd say ask my best friends grandfather who was baked in an oven at a thousand degrees or the like.

and number two. i really question the premise that going abroad solves all a man's issues and that all foreign women will be waiting with baited breath for them. snake oil. if that is truly the case you'd be abroad right now -- all year every year -- and would have found one good woman -- or even your own harem of women. all the questions you constantly ponder have been answered in one way or another. i'd say get off the pot now (pot as in porecelin bowl) -- find a good area abroad -- find a good woman -- settle down -- or get your own harem -- and settle down -- and put that deeply wonderfully inquisitive mind to solving real problems in this world. problems like poverty, lack of water, lack of health insurance, hatred, racism, hoarding of resources by the top 1%, etc etc.

eventually i'll move oversees -- find a job doing what i love -- contribute to the community i'll make home -- and start a family. thanks in part due to this site. but everyone -- except blatant trolls have something to contribute. we are all unique human beings with different perspectives-views-and thoughts. no one -- neither i -- nor you -- or obama -- or romney -- or red state -- or blue state is better or smarter or deeper or mo better than anyone else. you are an advisor with amazing gifts and insights -- not a god. defend your ideas yes. but don't set yourself up as better than anyone else on this forum because it really peeves me. i believe in equality. everyone's gifts are different. but we all have value. and no one is deeper than another per se. let us make those determinations on our own.

congrats on an amazing site. congrats for figuring things out. too bad we couldn't come TOGETHER and solve this dating-mating problem in america. division gets us no where. ten years from now we'll still be complaining about the same darn issues. we need to put our heads together and use this forum to do so. and i for one appreciate most of the contributors on here. blatant racism-antisemitism-attacks-and hatred really is sillyness and should be avoided/banned. it doesnt speak well for either you of Happier Abroad.

peace out.

[anamericaninbangkok]

Wow, these last two posts were heavy, indeed.

I have one single thought to apply to those living in their home country as they dream of living elsewhere:

Your problems, your fears, your character flaws, and all of your positive traits are always with you no matter where you go. Going abroad may be the answer for some or it may be the beginning of their problems.

Some are Happier At Home. My father and mother travel when they want, mostly in the U.S., sometimes to the Caribbean, and they are happy doing so. They have no desire to live abroad. I know many people like them. They've been married for 52 years now. I'm sure it hasn't always been easy. Going abroad is one option, and it's a damn fine one. For someone like me, who never, ever liked people telling me what I could do or not do and who always wanted to see the world, it's the perfect option. But it's not for everyone.

For those in the world who want to get down on me or any others who want to live life their own way:

[Banano]

AIB

"Wow, these last two posts were heavy, indeed.

I have one single thought to apply to those living in their home country as they dream of living elsewhere:

Your problems, your fears, your flaws, and all of your positive traits are always with you no matter where you go. Going abroad may be the answer for some or it may be the beginning of their problems."

+1

[anamericaninbangkok]

AIB

"Wow, these last two posts were heavy, indeed.

I have one single thought to apply to those living in their home country as they dream of living elsewhere:

Your problems, your fears, your flaws, and all of your positive traits are always with you no matter where you go. Going abroad may be the answer for some or it may be the beginning of their problems."

+1

Upon reviewing that statement, allow me to make some minor revisions.

I have one thought for those currently living in their home country dreaming of living in some perceived foreign paradise:

"Your problems, your fears, your flaws, and all of your positive traits are always with you, no matter where you go. They follow you forever. Going abroad may be the answer for some or it may be the beginning of a string of problems. As Joe Louis said, 'You can run but you can't hide.' So make no mistake, if you’re not in paradise at home, you will never find paradise abroad."

[NorthAmericanguy]

I mean, they smile at you then plunge a knife in your back without a second thought. They also lie and pretend to be your friends. They also ask 'how are you?' but do NOT care. Why the hypocrisy and lies?

Tell me about it.... I can't tell you why, but all I know at this point is that American fake behavior is the way of life/culture. In America everybody tries to "one up" each other and there is no real comradery unless something of the magnitude of 911 happens.

There are a few places where people are more sincere and friendly, but largely throughout the United States, you have to deal with fake rude people. I think these days, Philadelphia, "the city of brotherly love" takes the cake in terms of fake rude people who will plunge a knife in your back without a second thought.

That said, when I went to Thailand, I was blown away at how friendly and polite the people were. I'm a pretty tough guy and it almost brought me to tears as to how polite and friendly the people were. I got back to the States and people were like, "Oh yea, they were only so nice because you were a tourist with $$, whatever", but what the dumb Americans didn't understand is that I not only stayed off the tourist areas and ate with the local people, but to be sincerely polite and friendly is the way of life in Thai culture.

[NorthAmericanguy]

Do you really think Americans are the only ones like this? C'mon, people are like this all over the world.

You need to travel more. People in Russia do not give fake smiles at all and hate the way Americans do it. Same with Eastern Europe. In Poland, people do not even use the greeting "How are you?" because they say that question is useless and pointless.

The Ukraine girl I went out with told me that she hated that in Colorado, every time someone asked "How are you?" she felt obligated to give a positive response. She said that in Ukraine, you are not expected to always give a positive response to such a question.

Anyway, Ladislav is the master in culture comparison here, not you. He is the Obi-Wan Kenobi of culture comparison, and is in the best position to comment on this. Not you.

See his cultural comparisons here. No one rivals it.

http://expatriateobservations.blogspot.com

I agree with you... I met a woman from Israel who was a photographer and she said she hated taking pictures of Americans because they all smile too much. And right now, I'm mixing in with the Russian/Ukrainian community as of late in my area and their demeanor is completely different in that they only smile when they're genuinely happy. At first they come off cold and indifferent, but in reality, I'm the one at fault because there is simply no reason to appear to be happy when I'm really not.

Lets be for real.... I'm happy when I'm getting a BJ. I'm happy when I get a fat check in the mail. I'm happy when I reach a new max lift in the bench or when I'm riding around in a 5.0 Mustang. And I'm happy when I'm on a plane going to some place new.. Not much else makes me genuinely happy...

Unfortunately, in American culture, if you don't come off as happy people try to cheer you up and people think something is wrong with you. For example, there is this girl at the gas station who says to me "Smile!" if I come to the station looking rather blue. She did this a few times to where the last time I gave her no reaction because I thought it was very rude to ask a person smile when they don't really want to. What the hell!! Maybe my mom just died?! Maybe I just lost a lot of $$$$! Maybe I just don't feel like even being in a gas station at the moment!! Seeeesh!!

[NorthAmericanguy]

I don't think Americans are the only two-faced people in the world. That's my opinion, bottom line.

I agree with you.. I love Asian people and Asian culture but hands down Chinese people are the most two-faced people in the world. It's the culture that they have that develops people to be/think that way...

[anamericaninbangkok]

I mean, they smile at you then plunge a knife in your back without a second thought. They also lie and pretend to be your friends. They also ask 'how are you?' but do NOT care. Why the hypocrisy and lies?

Tell me about it.... I can't tell you why, but all I know at this point is that American fake behavior is the way of life/culture. In America everybody tries to "one up" each other and there is no real comradery unless something of the magnitude of 911 happens.

There are a few places where people are more sincere and friendly, but largely throughout the United States, you have to deal with fake rude people. I think these days, Philadelphia, "the city of brotherly love" takes the cake in terms of fake rude people who will plunge a knife in your back without a second thought.

That said, when I went to Thailand, I was blown away at how friendly and polite the people were. I'm a pretty tough guy and it almost brought me to tears as to how polite and friendly the people were. I got back to the States and people were like, "Oh yea, they were only so nice because you were a tourist with $$, whatever", but what the dumb Americans didn't understand is that I not only stayed off the tourist areas and ate with the local people, but to be sincerely polite and friendly is the way of life in Thai culture.

If you truly believe Thai people won't smile and plunge a knife in your back you know nothing about Thai culture. There is a reason for the phrase The Killing Smile.

Also, I am the sort of person who doesn't smile unless I have sometime smile about. If things are okay, I don't feel the need to walk around with a grin on my face. However, when I go out here, I am often told, "Smile! What's wrong?" Nothing's wrong, I just don't feel like smiling. America is not the only country where people feel the need to tell you to smile.

[Repatriate]

If you truly believe Thai people won't smile and plunge a knife in your back you know nothing about Thai culture. There is a reason for the phrase The Killing Smile.

Thai people always make me laugh though..because they really aren't very good at lying. I think a lot of people fall for the b.s. because they buy into the whole land of smiles, soft demeanor, friendly thai people propaganda. However i've never been convinced of anything a Thai person says when they are lying. They don't have very good emotional control when they are b.s.'ing and usually the smirks and body language reveals all.

Good liars are the ones who throw in half-truths and fiction with truth and believe whole heartedly in what they are telling you. Then they deceive enough people to get others to go along with them thus winning by majority opinion. I actually think a lot of Americans especially white Americans are way better liars. Look at guys like L. Ron Hubbard for instance..now that's a pro.

[anamericaninbangkok]

If you truly believe Thai people won't smile and plunge a knife in your back you know nothing about Thai culture. There is a reason for the phrase The Killing Smile.

Thai people always make me laugh though..because they really aren't very good at lying. I think a lot of people fall for the b.s. because they buy into the whole land of smiles, soft demeanor, friendly thai people propaganda. However i've never been convinced of anything a Thai person says when they are lying. They don't have very good emotional control when they are b.s.'ing and usually the smirks and body language reveals all.

Good liars are the ones who throw in half-truths and fiction with truth and believe whole heartedly in what they are telling you. Then they deceive enough people to get others to go along with them thus winning by majority opinion. I actually think a lot of Americans especially white Americans are way better liars. Look at guys like L. Ron Hubbard for instance..now that's a pro.

If they really aren't good at lying, why do so many men fall for their women's line of bullshit? The women are some of the BEST liars in the world.

[Repatriate]

If you truly believe Thai people won't smile and plunge a knife in your back you know nothing about Thai culture. There is a reason for the phrase The Killing Smile.

Thai people always make me laugh though..because they really aren't very good at lying. I think a lot of people fall for the b.s. because they buy into the whole land of smiles, soft demeanor, friendly thai people propaganda. However i've never been convinced of anything a Thai person says when they are lying. They don't have very good emotional control when they are b.s.'ing and usually the smirks and body language reveals all.

Good liars are the ones who throw in half-truths and fiction with truth and believe whole heartedly in what they are telling you. Then they deceive enough people to get others to go along with them thus winning by majority opinion. I actually think a lot of Americans especially white Americans are way better liars. Look at guys like L. Ron Hubbard for instance..now that's a pro.

If they really aren't good at lying, why do so many men fall for their women's line of bullshit? The women are some of the BEST liars in the world.

Cultural blinds. A lot of guys are hard up and stupid and the think asian women are passive and demure..which on the surface is true but Thais know how to exploit that. I don't see NE asian men falling for this nearly as much although it has been known to happen on occasion.

[somedude]

That said, when I went to Thailand, I was blown away at how friendly and polite the people were. I'm a pretty tough guy and it almost brought me to tears as to how polite and friendly the people were. I got back to the States and people were like, "Oh yea, they were only so nice because you were a tourist with $$, whatever", but what the dumb Americans didn't understand is that I not only stayed off the tourist areas and ate with the local people, but to be sincerely polite and friendly is the way of life in Thai culture.

+1

It was this way in Egypt too (pre arab spring). I lived there off and on for a number of years... the touristy areas generally drove me nuts, however off the beaten path one can enjoy the genuineness of the country, everyone I encountered there was polite without the forced smiles. Some of my most memorable moments there were walking in the countryside along the nile chatting with the farmers along the way.

[rudder]

In southern California the fakeness is taken to a whole nother level. It is the pinnacle of personality. If anyone has watched the movie, American Beauty, it is like the wife in the movie that meets the successful business man, and then goes nuts and repeats the same slogans over and over again. Paraphrasing, "In order to be successful you must always project an image of success."

The best book that hits the nail on the head is society of the spectacle by guy debord.

Southern California is overflowing with new age rubbish that states that all problems come from within and that negative thoughts MANIFEST a negative reality. There's a key word: manifest! Manifest, manifest, manifest. People are always talking about manifesting some sort of ideal outcome instead of just doing their best with the cards they've been dealt and not feeling too attached to the end result. Everytime I hear someone say "manifest" I just want to punch them in the face and ask them, "how does it feel to manifest being punched in the face?"

Heck, when I was talking to my friend about meeting a good, loving female he hit me with some bullshit like, "well, it's just one of those things that the more attention you give it, the more elusive it becomes." I just said, "no, In America it just is elusive because the women here suck."

[Digit]

Americans are often considered as superficial or even fake but I have to say I like their oppennes in general. I come from a country where people are pretty closed off and don't really talk to strangers that much. In contrast americans are pretty enjoyable because they often seem open to striking up a conversation with you, even if it might be just on a superficial level.