Join John Adams, world renowned Intl Matchmaker, Monday nights 8:30 EST for Live Webcasts!
And check out Five Reasons why you should attend a FREE AFA Seminar! See locations and dates here.
View Active Topics View Your Posts Latest 100 Topics FAQ Topics Mobile Friendly Theme
Discuss culture, living, traveling, relocating, dating or anything related to the Asian countries - China, The Philippines, Thailand, etc.
From what I understand, there's still a lot of nice places. Just avoid well-known places like Bangkok, Pattaya, and Chang Mai. It should be obvious for the non-party types and those who want more than just indulging in p4p that those places should be avoided like the plague.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_c ... n_Thailand
As you can see there's a lot of cities in the top 10-15 most populous cities that no one (foreigners) talks about or have even heard of.
The same thing applies to the PH. Don't go to Manila, Angeles City, and even Cebu. All the fat whitey creepers go there. Go to the random cities in the Visayas or something.
I think simply knowing the Thai language would change the game. That is the way to gain the advantage over most d-bags and degenerates from the West. Most care about 1 or 2 things and neither is gonna want to take the time/effort to learn the language and culture. Also, I think economic hardship will eventually make it tougher for many to head over there to waste their precious savings. When I was in Bangkok, there were many areas that seemed to have more whites/blacks than Thai people...that was not a welcoming sight for me. Once I headed to the outskirts, I saw very few tourists, the food was better, the people were nicer, etc..
Yeah, Thailand has been ruined, or at least Bangkok has.
I've done worse here dating wise than I was in Thailand.
Is it down to me? No. The problem is that top quality women here won't date me, because of what they've seen in the past as far as other farangs go.
Like 3 days ago I was walking down Sukhumvit late at night, somewhere around Soi 50. A couple of Indian guys were carrying really heavy loads. So some idiot farang comes up to them, and starts assaulting them, making them drop their parcels, and generally making fun of them.
I was mentally willing a few Thais with iron bars to come out and beat the guy to a pulp.
Stupid farangs have ruined this place for us all.
I quit my boring cubicle slave job and now I'm Happier Abroad...
Do YOU want to date beautiful foreign women? Find out which country's women are best for you, and which dating site to look for them on!
Want to teach English overseas? Check out my experiences teaching at a Uni in China.
Plus, if you like Asian girls, then join my free Asian dating site.
Xiongmao - seriously, from the time you've spent here and from what you've written, you know absolutely f**k-all about Thailand. You of all people shouldn't even say a f***ing peep about this place.
You won't even try to learn the language and you act like you're so much better than the "stupid farang" or other farang.
You get pissed when the women you meet online are working instead of meeting with you, you get pissed when you can't land a decent Thai women, you're constantly bitching about the floods, the internet, how the place doesn't compare to China.
You haven't got a f***ing clue what this place was like in the 80's and 90's other than what you've been told. I was here in the 90's and while Bangkok is definitely different than back then, there's still plenty of fun to be found. PLENTY.
You think this place is shitty for dating because it's changed because of the stupid farang? Please...IT'S YOU PAL! You won't learn the language, you think you know what's what and you don't know shit, and I'm sure this rubs off. From what you've said you only meet Thai girls from online dating sites...why is it the majority of girls I know wouldn't dream of going online to meet a man? Perhaps because they're not desperate for some guy to take care of them or because they're not trying to score a big fish? I know this is a generalization but dude, even at 51 I can land 25-30 year old women with relative ease! These are not hi-so girls or models, I'll admit, but some are very attractive and range from lower-middle to middle class. Most are educated and have graduated from college.
I speak Thai so I can carry on a conversation with them. This does matter. The reason top quality Thai women won't date you is YOU. I don't necessarily mean this as a personal attack. But top quality women don't tend to date men easily because they're looking for top quality men. It takes time. You don't speak the language, how fast are you going to get to know a Thai woman? I don't care what anyone says here, if you don't speak the same language as your partner, how can you get to know them on anything other than a superficial level? Just today, I went to Khaosan Road to get a foot spa done. I started talking to the girl, and she spoke pretty good English. There were no pretenses and I told her I had a wife and two kids. When I asked if she had a farang boyfriend, she said no and that she definitely wasn't going to find one on Khaosan Road. "Most foreigners know nothing about Thai women and Thai culture and I don't want to date someone who knows very little about my country and people." That's you Xiongmao...to the tee.
Many farang and Thais do not like Indians. You should know this. Just because one foreigner messes with several Indians though doesn't mean Thailand is going to shit.
Thailand isn't going to shit, neither is the PI or Cambodia or anywhere else in SEA. But far too many dumb asses come here thinking they're going to land some 8 or 9 with ease. Or all Thai women can be bought. Thai women don't like this...if you act anything remotely like this, you'll never hook up. My wife saw a buddy of mine whistling, make comments to hot Thai girls, and staring at them...ogling them. Immediate she said, "He's never going to get a good Thai doing that."
If you really want to land a hot looking woman, go to Issan, drive a motorcycle around and tell people you want a beautiful girlfriend or wife. They'll come out of the woodwork. But you'll probably have to take care of the girl and her family for life, she may not be very educated, and you will probably feel like a fish out of water. If you really want a hot looking woman, they're easy to find in Issan BECAUSE THEY NEED YOUR MONEY! The hot ones with money want what they want. If you don't fit the description, they're not going to simply lay down and take money from you like many Issan women will. They don't have to do so because they already have a good job and have their own money!
Seriously, I know I get down on some people for saying things about Thailand, but Xiongmao you're by far the worst. You even commenting on how bad Thailand has become makes me laugh because...how the f**k would you know?! You've been here 5 months! So it's gotten that bad? Or you're just taking people's word for it? I'm telling you - the problems you have here - THEY'RE BECAUSE OF YOUR ATTITUDE AND YOUR MENTALITY AND YOUR LACK OF KNOWLEDGE AND YOUR INABILITY TO COMMUNICATE IN THEIR LANGUAGE.
Xiongmao is a trip! Dude is just plain ol weird, that's for sure. Don't rake him over the coals so hard. He has issues... I left him alone a while back as well over various China related things because I eventually figured that maybe he is just thick or has some issue like Aspergers. Maybe he is just f***ing eccentric and too picky. There is no telling. I don't think most people here take him very seriously, but I understand your concern. For the HA guys that are newer, he could be giving a terrible impression on something or a place he has no f***ing clue about.
Issues...weird...yea, that's my point.
It's one thing to be opinionated or a little off on a subject. But...to be completely off the cliff is a different story.
Change is inevitable and is the only constant. Thailand has changed but overall it's a helluva lot better than most places.
HA! Off the cliff indeed. He is kinda like that rambling grandpa you have to clean up after because he cannot take care of himself in a way. It's quite the chore fixing some of the way off base stuff he posts about.
XiongMao may well be one of the more naive travellers/posters in here, but honestly, I feel all the insults and the contempt pretty rude and excessive.
Honestly, AiB, from what I have read from your posts, if I ever needed some information on how to live in Thailand or Bangkok, people like you - who probably know a lot on one or two countries but nowhere as much on class or good manners - would rank pretty low on my call list. If you're such an advocate and lover of the friendliness and grace of Thai culture, how about exercising a wee bit of it yourself?
As fellow Italian Tiziano Terzani, one of the greatest and most learned writers on Asian cultures ever lived, said, a journey into a different culture is primarily a journey of discovery of the self. As such, it's only normal that everyone will develop their own views, opinions, likes and dislikes. Everything a traveler sees, hears, tastes and - well - f*cks, is a direct reflection of their own personality, their own past experiences, their preconceptions, their fears and frustrations, their desires and obsessions. The foreign setting is but a mirror. What is reflected on it is themselves, and all they are. The smarter of them should probably savour every moment and use it to build themselves as individuals, as well as citizens of the world.
You clearly have a lot of life experience on Thailand and the fact you're semi-retired on in full-blown blogging mode gives you the time and pleasure to share it on your website, or here. Yet, to slap it on people's faces like it's the ultimate truth if they dare say something that doesn't sound as perfected, final and crystallised as your gospel; to ridicule everybody who has their own subjective views on a specific culture or place or person, well that's just stupid and wrong in my book.
My 2 cents.
One of the few times I agree with PublicDuende, I think. Well-stated.
XiongMao is not an experienced ladies man, but dammit, HA is supposed to be a place where ordinary men can learn to search for love.
AIB, many White men who marry "native" get pretty defensive about their adopted homeland. Go easy.
AiB is a brash dude for sure, but Xiongmao does not seem to learn much of anything. Anyone still learning would not spread lots of bad information and opinions so wantonly about. If you guys had extensive knowledge on some particular place he was living in, he would drive you crazy too. Naivety does not begin to describe Xiongmao. I dug into him hard at first, but learned to leave him be eventually, but not everyone is going to learn that kind of patience with a guy like that so easily.
Something is really off about that guy. You could say the same for a handful of dudes here. Like Professor, Bannano, Ghost, Winston, etc. Those guys come off as strange, eccentric, and awkward. By itself it's not a big deal really, but then those same guys are all very very opinionated as well. It's one thing to be learning and another to spouting off about stuff and being way off base about it. Eventually someone is going to call you out on your bullshit and challenge your thought processes as well.
Some of us are more likely to point out BS than others and call it like we see it. AiB is that "dude" when it comes to Thailand. He is un-rivaled on Thai knowledge. Until more of you learn Thai and accomplish more on a personal level, I doubt many will give anyone else that level of respect.
Perhaps he is getting more grumpy lately, but f**k can you really blame him? Look at the way this forum has changed in the last 6 months. So many new people, and the last thing anyone here wants is to regress and go back to the old HA ways, where BS and bad information ran buck wild with only weirdos like Adama, Odbo, and the other black and Asian racists were willing to say anything back. Those cats are gone. Only the lazy guys are left dominating right now.
The growing pains now are fights over credibility, laziness, and effectiveness. DJfourmoney, AiB, Zboy, falcon, Rock, Silver, Djean, etc and others trying hard to provide ideas, reports, information, and resources people can use to get the hell outta the US for whatever reasons they need. Writing, contributions, etc. feel useless when idiots or people with good intentions are throwing trash on the floor in the HA house. If I drop my shoes on the floor in the room, my wife will pick them up, but she will tell me why she did not like me doing that too. So if you cannot handle the biting back, don't barking out loud for no good reason.
If xiongmao couldn't handle the heat in the kitchen he probably would have quit HA a long time ago anyway. I personally think he ignores 99% of anything said to him anyway. He knows what he is doing.
I think that is little absurd and off the mark. I think he doesn't like bullshit, lies, and sheer exaggerations. Where do you even get stuff like this from? Marry native and get defensive about their adopted homeland? WTF does that even mean? Have you ever lived in Thailand before? What about SkateboardStephen? Is he the same when it comes to Brazil? Should they only talk about the bad things more? What about me and China? All 3 of us are constantly dumping ammunition at garbage information related to the countries we have alot of knowledge about. I cannot speak for the other 2 very much, but from what I have read from them, is nothing but balanced and realistic views of the good and bad of the countries they lived in. I do not see any White Knight-ish stuff from any of their posts. If you saw any, I would love to see it.
I am not sure if you're referring to something in particular, but I can't recall a specific episode where XM was (willingly) spreading lots of bad information, on China and more recently Thailand. Opinions, yes. But opinions are clearly subjective, and since everybody knows how "fresh" the guy is on China, Thailand or Asian cultures in general, it's only obvious that any of us would take what he says with an extra pinch of salt. The only point I was making is: why the contempt? We all know Winston too can be pretty biased about whatever culture he lived in, yet that doesn't necessarily make his insight something to throw away in contempt or ridicule. It's his life, his outlook on the PI or Russia, and he is being honest enough to put that up on a public forum, for everyone to decide what to do with it. That is, in itself, a laudable effort, and not something anyone should be clashing under the weight of his (allegedly) superior or deeper experience.
I do realise AiB is a heavyweight on Thailand and the fact he lived Thailand during its entire parabola from budding market economy to Asian Tiger, quick burnout, decline and renaissance as a regional power, the whole shebang, makes him a precious asset on HA. Yet, I for one wouldn't want to put his knowledge on a pedestal. If anything, I have seen this by experience on bucketloads of people, the more one learns from second-hand sources and "thinks he knows" about a culture, the more he will act as if he will be able to live exactly the same experiences he was recounted or described. So you want to move to Thailand, and you are young, rich, on a great expat job, handsome and unmarried, outgoing and adventurous. You will live certain experiences, and perhaps share them to somebody who's middle aged, has no stable job and average looking, divorced and all about settling with a traditional woman. Do you think that guy will have a fair chance to have exactly the same experiences as you had? Thailand will be a very different place to him, and apart from some basic, verifiable facts on the country and its society or economy, may turn out as something he will like a lot more, or a lot less.
If there's one thing I have learned on HA, is how hopelessly subjective whatever one writes on any specific country or culture or group of people, is. That's why I don't like generalisations, not much because they sweep things with a broad brush, but because everybody will be likely to have different experiences even if those generalisations were all true.
All of this babble to say: I enjoy reading this forum and its kaleidoscopic multitude of posters. No trip report is too naive, no opinion too vague, or stupid. The only thing I don't like is when people use stereotypes for all the wrong purposes, like degrading women (in general) or character assassination. If people wanted 100% objective information on specific aspect of a country or culture, I'm sure there are far better and more authoritative resources, online and offline. And I'm not talking abour Roosh V's forum
I have no problem accepting I am brash and outspoken. I am what I am.
In addition to writing in great lengths on what I think he should do here in Thailand, on several occasions I have reached out to Xiongmao to personally meet and assist him. Much of his information is false, misinformation, or just plain ole bullshit. I am by no means the ultimate authority on Thailand or SEA but when I see guys saying they're "Happier Abroad" and giving inappropriate, piss-poor information, and doing absolutely nothing but complaining, after a while I lose my patience.
I understand telling the truth may sometimes be insulting and contemptuous, but it is what it is, the truth. You can say what you want about it being someones personal truth but sometimes black is black and white is white. Sometimes there are no shades of grey. I also understand what you are attempting to do here, but I think you're off the mark.
On and on about the different experiences. Yes, we have different experiences. We have them in life no matter where we are. Some things however, are not about experience.
This guy is complaining that Thailand is ruined because of foreigners. Yet he's been here five months, he won't even learn the language, he won't make an attempt to meet a woman if he doesn't meet her online, and is constantly whining about something. Sorry, he doesn't have f***ing leg to stand on. How can he comment on the good old days if he was never here? From second hand information? Yes, you are correct, many things written are subjective, but when a guy thinks he knows something, yet knows absolutely nothing, he probably shouldn't be telling people the rules of the world.
This is a guy who whines about the flooding in Thailand.
This is a guy who constantly compares Thailand and China, yet he basically ran away from China because he couldn't hack it.
This is a guy who bitches about Thai women - he can't get quality women, he can't get dates with the right type of women, and he doesn't understand them.
Oh, waaaahhhyyy, these women have to work for living, this means they don't have time for me...Jesus H Christ...please.
He complains and complains and complains yet he won't even try to learn the language because he "has better things to do with his time." Really? You just moved to Thailand and you can't squeeze in 4 or 5 hours a week to learn enough to be able to communicate?
This is a guy who only meets women online. Normally I might not say anything about this but coupled with his problems, it seems strange to me.
This is a guy who does nothing but complain about the internet service. I have complained and ranted about the SERVICE of one internet company but he goes off on how there are no hotels with decent internet, 3G is non-existent in Thailand, or at least Bangkok. Both of these comments were and are complete nonsense. How do I know? Because I have been in many hotels here and some had excellent information. This is not "subjective information."
If he complained about one or two things; not being able to land a Thai woman, the flooding, whatever, I would simply say this is Thailand or give it time. But he has presented a long list of erroneous information that illustrates very little of what is actual fact.
I refuse to coddle a person who asks for help then doesn't take it. I also won't apologize for it. When someone asks for answers and then is given them over and over â€” by different people â€” and they are unwilling to listen, then I'm going to say what I feel is necessary. Roll all of his comments about Thailand up and you get a big ole ball of shit. That's the truth.
It's not just what I say, this is the thing. My word is hardly gospel, I am imperfect, and sometimes, I am even wrong. But many of my statements about what he's said are far from subjective, they're spot on and fact.
Also, here's the way I look at it...I made my own way, without help from anyone. Nobody coddled me and I didn't ask them to do so. There are things I like and things I don't like about Thailand but...I didn't spread complete rubbish after being here for 5 months like he does nor did I complain about how Thailand has gone to shit because of foreigners.
Yes, a journey into a different culture is a discovery of the self. What has he learned other than he has very little positive to say about Thailand?
With regards to the comment about "many White men who marry 'native' get pretty defensive about their adopted homeland.
What the f**k does my being married have to do with Xiongmao? My marriage has nothing to do with his naivete, stupidity or ignorance, however you want to put it. I would say the same thing to him if I were single.
Also, while Thailand is my adopted homeland, I am willing to slam it or praise it depending what is called for. In this case, I am simply willing to call Xiongmao on his bullshit, which he regularly contributes. If this comes off harsh, there's are reasons and I've noted many of them several times over.