One thing that I find that really attracts me in a girl, is someone who's beautiful, but is either not aware of it, or else are, yet they're coy about it. Have you ever met any girls that don't go out of their way to flaunt their assets? Girls that like to show their beauty in a more subtle way, as opposed to being half-naked.
I don't know why I find girls who dress and act in a more modest way more attractive; maybe it just seems more sweet and feminine, plus it gives the girl an air of mystery. Do any of you guys feel the same way?
One thing I don't find attractive is girls that act like they're 'hot and they know it' when combined with dressing in a highly-provocative, bordering on tarty way (well, my heart and head don't even if my nether regions do).
On a related note, vanity really turns me off. Girls who use their beauty as a form of 'power' and who give the impression that they know this are pretty repulsive (to my head and heart at least). One's who think looks give them exclusive rights; YUCK! That's the definition of a bimbo-ism.
There is also difference in dressing sexy between tarty, trashy sexy and classy sexy. It looks like the majority of girls, especially in my local area, lean towards the latter. Extremely short shorts, little left to the imagination, not that there's anything wrong, but when combined with attitude, 'I'm hot and I know it' and tattoos I honestly find it off-putting, GROSS! I always find it more attractive if a girl has a more modest, humble attitude towards her own beauty.
I'm only saying this in regards to one girl from Lithuania I met back in the summer, in comparison to what I usually see and meet locally.
A lot of people in response to this, in other forums would probably give the usual bullshit; 'everyone's entitled to be an individual' to stop one bringing this up.
Do any of you guys find modesty attractive?
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Yes. Count me in on this one.
Two of the keywords that I search for when dating online are humble and/or modest. Barring that, I read between the lines to see if something they've written displays those traits. In real life, it's a bit easier because I can simply watch how they treat and respond to others.
I find the “ugly duckling†personality types (a girl who is very physically beautiful yet does not carry the false airs of entitlement) to be extremely alluring.
Off topic - This makes me wonder. Is modesty the opposite of confidence (American style)? Maybe it's the opposite of arrogance....
Two of the keywords that I search for when dating online are humble and/or modest. Barring that, I read between the lines to see if something they've written displays those traits. In real life, it's a bit easier because I can simply watch how they treat and respond to others.
I find the “ugly duckling†personality types (a girl who is very physically beautiful yet does not carry the false airs of entitlement) to be extremely alluring.
Off topic - This makes me wonder. Is modesty the opposite of confidence (American style)? Maybe it's the opposite of arrogance....
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CerealKiller
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Re: Do any of you guys find modesty attractive?
Nice thread, mattyman. Your post describes the kind of girl I've always preferred. The world needs more of those girls!mattyman wrote:One thing that I find that really attracts me in a girl, is someone who's beautiful, but is either not aware of it, or else are, yet they're coy about it. Have you ever met any girls that don't go out of their way to flaunt their assets? Girls that like to show their beauty in a more subtle way, as opposed to being half-naked.
I don't know why I find girls who dress and act in a more modest way more attractive; maybe it just seems more sweet and feminine, plus it gives the girl an air of mystery. Do any of you guys feel the same way?
One thing I don't find attractive is girls that act like they're 'hot and they know it' when combined with dressing in a highly-provocative, bordering on tarty way (well, my heart and head don't even if my nether regions do).
On a related note, vanity really turns me off. Girls who use their beauty as a form of 'power' and who give the impression that they know this are pretty repulsive (to my head and heart at least). One's who think looks give them exclusive rights; YUCK! That's the definition of a bimbo-ism.
There is also difference in dressing sexy between tarty, trashy sexy and classy sexy. It looks like the majority of girls, especially in my local area, lean towards the latter. Extremely short shorts, little left to the imagination, not that there's anything wrong, but when combined with attitude, 'I'm hot and I know it' and tattoos I honestly find it off-putting, GROSS! I always find it more attractive if a girl has a more modest, humble attitude towards her own beauty.
I'm only saying this in regards to one girl from Lithuania I met back in the summer, in comparison to what I usually see and meet locally.
A lot of people in response to this, in other forums would probably give the usual bullshit; 'everyone's entitled to be an individual' to stop one bringing this up.
I love modesty. I think more men do than what women think. Ive even seen men turn down attractive women who was conceited, just to settle for a modest, less attractive woman. Of course, its even better if shes modest AND attractive.
I think the girl wearing the wrinkled shirt and no makeup is so alluring. Women are so stupid with their conceited crap. . . Trying to be a Diva, etc.
I think the girl wearing the wrinkled shirt and no makeup is so alluring. Women are so stupid with their conceited crap. . . Trying to be a Diva, etc.
Modesty is extremely important. Unfortunately, because mainstream Western society actively encourages self promotion, narcissism, and grandiosity, modest women are extremely hard to come by these days. I guess this is the reason why I never had the desire to pursue Western females, even if they were physically a 10. All the more reason to travel overseas to non-western nations. Even with the spread of Western ideals in these countries, your chances of finding humble, modest women are still much higher.
Also, Introvert, I think you might be on to something. I do believe that modesty is the opposite of American style "confidence." I also agree that most Americans seem to confuse confidence with arrogance.
Also, Introvert, I think you might be on to something. I do believe that modesty is the opposite of American style "confidence." I also agree that most Americans seem to confuse confidence with arrogance.
"A dreamer is one who can only find his way by moonlight, and his punishment is that he sees the dawn before the rest of the world." -Oscar Wilde
"Invincibility is in oneself, vulnerability is in the opponent" -Sun Tzu
"Invincibility is in oneself, vulnerability is in the opponent" -Sun Tzu
It's interesting to note that many probably do see it, or fear that it will be perceived as a lack of confidence. Being modest in my eyes is not the same as lacking in confidence by any stretch of the imagination. It's funny how some people, if you state what you find attractive, try to personal attack you. If you say as an example what I've said here, some people will accuse you of only liking 'submissive' girls, and even say 'you lack confidence and can't handle a confident women'? Has that happened to any of you guys?
Also, why is confidence held-up as an all important trait? even if one has absolutely shit communication skills, little ability to empathise and relate to others. I'm sure a lot of you guys have known people like that before, I certainly have. People who are very high in confidence, yet lacking in social skills and empathy towards others are types, in all honesty I cannot stand. I really don't understand why modern society considers it such a great attribute. Shouldn't the emphasis be on social skills, ability to empathise with people, and not to automatically jump to the worst conclusion, meet people halfway etc?
I think you guys are right, the American/central mass culture definition of confidence is a bit skewed. Confidence is not about being in-your-face, being an arrogant c**t, or full of yourself. Modesty is certainly not a sign of lack of confidence. In my opinion it's a sign of strength. I think that the 'lack of confidence' thing is more of a personal attack used to make girls who are that way feel ashamed about it.
"Modesty is extremely important. Unfortunately, because mainstream Western society actively encourages self promotion, narcissism, and grandiosity, modest women are extremely hard to come by these days"
I know, it's a bit of a shame, this is what the problem it. The trouble is girls who are modest in such environments are usually made fun of and ostracized, unless they're lucky enough to have a good group of friends and a positive family.
Also, why is confidence held-up as an all important trait? even if one has absolutely shit communication skills, little ability to empathise and relate to others. I'm sure a lot of you guys have known people like that before, I certainly have. People who are very high in confidence, yet lacking in social skills and empathy towards others are types, in all honesty I cannot stand. I really don't understand why modern society considers it such a great attribute. Shouldn't the emphasis be on social skills, ability to empathise with people, and not to automatically jump to the worst conclusion, meet people halfway etc?
I think you guys are right, the American/central mass culture definition of confidence is a bit skewed. Confidence is not about being in-your-face, being an arrogant c**t, or full of yourself. Modesty is certainly not a sign of lack of confidence. In my opinion it's a sign of strength. I think that the 'lack of confidence' thing is more of a personal attack used to make girls who are that way feel ashamed about it.
"Modesty is extremely important. Unfortunately, because mainstream Western society actively encourages self promotion, narcissism, and grandiosity, modest women are extremely hard to come by these days"
I know, it's a bit of a shame, this is what the problem it. The trouble is girls who are modest in such environments are usually made fun of and ostracized, unless they're lucky enough to have a good group of friends and a positive family.
YES! I love modesty. This is one of the main qualities that I look for in a girl. A girl who is plain pretty yet very feminine and doesn't try to draw attention to herself through her clothes or make up is such a huge turn on. I love to see a plain pretty girl wearing a sundress and some sandals or flip flops with her hair out with no make up or a pair of jeans with sneakers and a t-shirt. That's the best. Women who over do it with make up and wear skimpy clothing is a turn off. Modesty screams femininity.
Good topic my man!
Here's a couple of examples:
Good topic my man!
Here's a couple of examples:
Last edited by OTB on October 14th, 2013, 3:46 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Such women are only good if you stay with them in their native culture. Bring them to your western culture and they will get attention left right and center from thirsty guys. Not only that their friends will put bullsh*t into their ears. That's when they start believing they can get something better than you. You will not be aware of this until it's too late. So best thing is to try stay with them in their culture and bring them to visit your family once in a while. You are doomed if you bring them over to stay permanently.
"Such women are only good if you stay with them in their native culture. Bring them to your western culture and they will get attention left right and center from thirsty guys. Not only that their friends will put bullsh*t into their ears. That's when they start believing they can get something better than you. You will not be aware of this until it's too late. So best thing is to try stay with them in their culture and bring them to visit your family once in a while. You are doomed if you bring them over to stay permanently."
It maybe logical to come to such conclusions, depending on observations and anecdotal evidence, but are they always right, and how can you be so sure? Whilst I'm not knocking being informed and aware of potential warning signs of gold-diggers, and how the toxic mass culture and peer-pressure may potentially change a girl for the worse etc, I also think it's advisable not to be taken in by this 'it's too good to be true' type thinking.
I would say that a lot of this really depends on the girl in question. Sure, if she's easily lead, not selective in her choice of friends, not very intelligent, this may well have a greater degree of truth to it than otherwise, but I wouldn't go so far as to believe that's set in stone. This girl from Lithuania I make reference to had actually been in the UK for 5 years and seemed completely un-tarnished in her behaviour, attitude and dress style.
It maybe logical to come to such conclusions, depending on observations and anecdotal evidence, but are they always right, and how can you be so sure? Whilst I'm not knocking being informed and aware of potential warning signs of gold-diggers, and how the toxic mass culture and peer-pressure may potentially change a girl for the worse etc, I also think it's advisable not to be taken in by this 'it's too good to be true' type thinking.
I would say that a lot of this really depends on the girl in question. Sure, if she's easily lead, not selective in her choice of friends, not very intelligent, this may well have a greater degree of truth to it than otherwise, but I wouldn't go so far as to believe that's set in stone. This girl from Lithuania I make reference to had actually been in the UK for 5 years and seemed completely un-tarnished in her behaviour, attitude and dress style.
"Such women are only good if you stay with them in their native culture. Bring them to your western culture and they will get attention left right and center from thirsty guys. Not only that their friends will put bullsh*t into their ears. That's when they start believing they can get something better than you. You will not be aware of this until it's too late. So best thing is to try stay with them in their culture and bring them to visit your family once in a while. You are doomed if you bring them over to stay permanently."
It maybe logical to come to such conclusions, depending on observations and anecdotal evidence, but are they always right, and how can you be so sure? Whilst I'm not knocking being informed and aware of potential warning signs of gold-diggers, and how the toxic mass culture and peer-pressure may potentially change a girl for the worse etc, I also think it's advisable not to be taken in by this 'it's too good to be true' type thinking.
I would say that a lot of this really depends on the girl in question. Sure, if she's easily lead, not selective in her choice of friends, not very intelligent, this may well have a greater degree of truth to it than otherwise, but I wouldn't go so far as to believe that's set in stone. This girl from Lithuania I make reference to had actually been in the UK for 5 years and seemed completely un-tarnished in her behaviour, attitude and dress style.
It maybe logical to come to such conclusions, depending on observations and anecdotal evidence, but are they always right, and how can you be so sure? Whilst I'm not knocking being informed and aware of potential warning signs of gold-diggers, and how the toxic mass culture and peer-pressure may potentially change a girl for the worse etc, I also think it's advisable not to be taken in by this 'it's too good to be true' type thinking.
I would say that a lot of this really depends on the girl in question. Sure, if she's easily lead, not selective in her choice of friends, not very intelligent, this may well have a greater degree of truth to it than otherwise, but I wouldn't go so far as to believe that's set in stone. This girl from Lithuania I make reference to had actually been in the UK for 5 years and seemed completely un-tarnished in her behaviour, attitude and dress style.
Re:
With a lot of women under forty confidence ranks the highest but this is typical of the modern female. To me, a woman who prioritises this trait first is either not very bright and doesn't understand relationships, or doesn't want to take one seriously.
How about loyalty? Wouldn't you expect this trait for example to override confidence?
I think confidence is a great trait to possess but it shouldn't be gauged on what a person is like in a relationship. That's just dumb. Where does this nonsense derive from anyway? Those glossy magazines of theirs they foolishly get influenced by?
When women spout this trash it gives you an indication to what they're like without them realising it.
Re: Do any of you guys find modesty attractive?
ORIGINAL POST MADE BY MYSELF AGES AGO
RE Zambales on confidence;
There's a lot I can say here; a) 'Confidence' is really the ability to be one's self and not be what they think someone wants them to be, not about posturing to be the 'alpha male' (attracting the right people for you), (b) when some girls say they're attracted to 'confidence' they often don't know how to put into words what they're attracted to. For women, they're afraid to mention the way someone looks. c) How 'confident' you are in social situations is not always an indicator of how good you'll be in a relationship.
Take myself for example; I get described as 'confident' when playing my guitar and tin whistle in a pub session. The reason is, I know there's people who won't approve and those who won't .The thing is, I can accept that there will be those who won't approve & who will criticize.
I agree with you, what you're like in social/public situations is not a great indicator of what you'll be like as a partner, responsibility-wise or being able to please her.
RE Zambales on confidence;
There's a lot I can say here; a) 'Confidence' is really the ability to be one's self and not be what they think someone wants them to be, not about posturing to be the 'alpha male' (attracting the right people for you), (b) when some girls say they're attracted to 'confidence' they often don't know how to put into words what they're attracted to. For women, they're afraid to mention the way someone looks. c) How 'confident' you are in social situations is not always an indicator of how good you'll be in a relationship.
Take myself for example; I get described as 'confident' when playing my guitar and tin whistle in a pub session. The reason is, I know there's people who won't approve and those who won't .The thing is, I can accept that there will be those who won't approve & who will criticize.
I agree with you, what you're like in social/public situations is not a great indicator of what you'll be like as a partner, responsibility-wise or being able to please her.
Re: Do any of you guys find modesty attractive?
mattyman wrote: ↑April 3rd, 2019, 6:26 pmORIGINAL POST MADE BY MYSELF AGES AGO
RE Zambales on confidence;
There's a lot I can say here; a) 'Confidence' is really the ability to be one's self and not be what they think someone wants them to be, not about posturing to be the 'alpha male' (attracting the right people for you), (b) when some girls say they're attracted to 'confidence' they often don't know how to put into words what they're attracted to. For women, they're afraid to mention the way someone looks. c) How 'confident' you are in social situations is not always an indicator of how good you'll be in a relationship.
Take myself for example; I get described as 'confident' when playing my guitar and tin whistle in a pub session. The reason is, I know there's people who won't approve and those who won't .The thing is, I can accept that there will be those who won't approve & who will criticize.
I agree with you, what you're like in social/public situations is not a great indicator of what you'll be like as a partner, responsibility-wise or being able to please her.
Self-assured and individualistic would be a more accurate description to the first point in your opening paragraph I think. A kind of a "quiet confidence". And I'm like that too. I'm not the type of guy who can walk up to a woman I don't know and ask her out and that's not because I don't have the confidence in myself, it's because I don't have the confidence in them. I'm referring to western women here. Females from the Philippines for example are a different kind of breed altogether. Far more receptive and they don't harbour the abysmal communication skills that their Anglospheric counterparts generally possess - and English isn't even their primary language.
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