In Spain now, on the way to Colombia

[ryanx]

I had originally set my heart on going to Colombia - the poverty and general living conditions and bad food of my ideal country (for dating available young ladies), the Philippines, having put me off.

I was already in Europe on some business and being a European citizen I thought I would try my luck in Spain and the worst that can happen is I pick up some Spanish and have some fun exploring Spain and the culture. So I arrived in Valencia a few weeks ago.

So far so good. The food isn't that great, but OK. The language is not that difficult to pick up with some effort. The people generally easy going and friendly, at least on the surface. Great nature and weather - when it is not blistering hot or humid.

But here's the snag. At 53 and having spent the past 5 years in Asia and being quite spoiled by all the attention of the beautiful ladies, I just can not get used to being ignored. I am quite invisible here. They have some stunning beauties here especially in the 20 to 30 age range, but there is something wild and feisty about them. Confident and loud. I am sure if I was in my 20s or 30s and could speak the language fluently, I would be enjoying myself a lot.

This is a very family oriented society - not a bad thing in itself. But the men I see that I guess are in my age range are with women around the same age. I just can not accept that.

What am I to do?

Colombia more of the same? Or just slightly better? should I just bite the bullet and make a life in the Philippines somehow?

[Robert77]

Colombia is different from spain, spain is on its way to become another america full of feminists. I also find colombian women to look better than women from spain. you'll be more of a novelty there, in spain you;re just another white male like just about everyone else there

[ryanx]

I am of Middle Eastern appearance with many people similar in appearance to me, so I kind of melt in the background. The very useful skill of playful banter and teasing which I use to great effect, in say the Philippines, is obviously missing here. My experience tells me to move on which is a great shame as this country has a lot of good points in terms of quality of life.

[ryanx]

I might as well just talk to myself - for the sake of prosperity:) Today I was in a clothes shop in Valencia, Spain where I have been living for the past two months or so, looking for some pants. The girl in the shop helping me could speak enough English to make some small talk. I was bantering with and teasing her, asking her age and pretending to be surprised that she seemed older etc.

She said she was 30 and had a boyfriend from USA before. So out of curiosity I asked how old he was and she said same age. Then I asked if Spanish girls like men around their own age, she confirmed and added sometimes even younger.

This really agreed with all my observations of the society and the girls here. The girls are not really trashy or obese like Americans. They are quite beautiful and classy. A lot tend to smoke though - but that is another subject.

Everything kind of makes sense now. Now I know why in these two months I have not had so much as a glance my way. All my tried and tested methods of charming the girls have met with stony cold stares. The beauty and age of the girls has such a high value here that they can be totally picky bordering on arrogance.

In general people are polite and cultured but at my age, 53, the idea of not being with a beautiful woman less than 35 fills me with dread, after having it had so good for so long.

I am thinking of visiting Poland just for fun, but winter is coming up so I am not so sure. In the meanwhile I am trying to learn as much Spanish as I can. Who knows it might serve me well at some future point in time. Adios!

[gsjackson]

Too bad. I was thinking of spending Jan-March in Valencia in either 2014 or 2015. It has been tentatively penciled in as the winter escape when I'm living in Europe year-round. Sounds less than promising for older guy game, though.

[Winston]

So Colombian girls are not as age sensitive? I like their sexy bodies and hot thighs on their legs. They look like great sex machines. They are reputed to be very passionate and sensual. I made out with a hot Colombian girl in Tijuana before. They have a very sensual touch and kiss.

Spanish women are very intellectual. Why don't you try talking to them about art and history and ask them directions?

[publicduende]

So Colombian girls are not as age sensitive? I like their sexy bodies and hot thighs on their legs. They look like great sex machines. They are reputed to be very passionate and sensual. I made out with a hot Colombian girl in Tijuana before. They have a very sensual touch and kiss.

Spanish women are very intellectual. Why don't you try talking to them about art and history and ask them directions?

Colombianas might well be "sex machines", but they're not running for everyone, you see. The larger and more cosmopolitan cities like Bogota, Medellin, Cali and Cartagena are definitely getting desensitized to gringo charm, especially if all the man has to for go for himself is the usual combo of a blue passport, a balding scalp, and a bulging checkered shirt.

Have you noticed that most of the dating tour agencies are almost exclusively concentrating on second-tier cities, mostly Barranquilla and Bucaramanga? And most of the women advertised are divorcees in their 40s or not so good looking ladies in their 30, with one or more kids?

About Colombians being age-sensitive, middle class men are indeed able to get young lovers (amiguitas) on the side, but rarely is that much more than a tit for tat (transaction) relationship. It's usually an exchange of favours, whether it's help with studying or lifestyle, of the promise of a better job, or access to the upper society (which might include the usual filthy-rich narcos), etc. I think I wrote this on a PM to another HA member: in Colombia it's quite widely accepted for a man in his 50s to be married and have amiguitas on the side. A man in his 40s or 50s who is unmarried (or divorced) and looking for a young girlfriend for a sincere LTR is considered a loser. Funnily enough, I have found the same cultural trait in the Philippines, which, after all, shares the Spaniard imprinting with Colombia. It might have something to do with the relatively narrow-mindedness of local men, who are expected to go through the motions of society with Swiss watch timing: first sexual experiences at 15, first relationships around 18, married in your mid 20s, classical mid-life crisis, soldiering on with the facade marriage and a few lovers and flirts on the side. The socio-economical divide, in Colombia as in the PI, is just making things easier, as it provides with a healthy supply of young women who will easily accept the favours of the senior amigo and perhaps even genuinely enjoy some good salsa y sexo.

I would agree on your impression of Spanish women. Spain underwent a massive cultural revolution in the 80s and most of the young women the OP met in Valencia will have been brought up by parents who lived and breathed the movida. This means many of them will be relatively intellectual (of the leftwing/liberal intellectual type), independent, feminine if not slightly feminist and yes, you're right, they do tend to smoke a lot! Of course certain cities like Madrid or the Basque Country have a large community of Catholic born and bred women, who will be more traditional and family-oriented. Of the latter camp, please avoid those who mention their affiliation with Opus Dei, avoid them like the plague!

[rudder]

Hi OP, I don't have any experience with Asia, but from what I understand about Europe and Latin America, I would say don't go to either of them, because the age gap you're asking for is too unreasonable in those places. Based on what people say, Zamboanga is probably your best bet.

Will someone please start a Zamboanga thread?

[Rock]

Hi OP, I don't have any experience with Asia, but from what I understand about Europe and Latin America, I would say don't go to either of them, because the age gap you're asking for is too unreasonable in those places. Based on what people say, Zamboanga is probably your best bet.

Will someone please start a Zamboanga thread?

Zamboanga? Zamboanga? Did u say Zamboanga? Why of all cities do u mention this one? Why would girls there be less age sensitive than other cities in Mindanao?

I've been there once. It's pretty small and boring even though I met a couple of attractive girls there, one half Japanese. And of course many people will tell you not to go there, especially as of late with what's going on these weeks.

If you are looking for places with barriers to entry due to danger factor, there are areas around there much riskier and more dangerous than Zamboanga City. But the kidnapping risk is real.

[Taco]

Hi OP, I don't have any experience with Asia, but from what I understand about Europe and Latin America, I would say don't go to either of them, because the age gap you're asking for is too unreasonable in those places. Based on what people say, Zamboanga is probably your best bet.

Will someone please start a Zamboanga thread?

If you are looking for places with barriers to entry due to danger factor, there are areas around there much riskier and more dangerous than Zamboanga City. But the kidnapping risk is real.

I agree. Zamboanga City has been very unstable lately, lot's of bomb attacks, riots etc... I can think of a million places I'd rather be than Mindanao.

[Robert77]

The Philippines sound great, the problem is women in my opinion dont look as good as colombian women, they are charming and lovely but in the looks department they come in second....

I enjoy having the possibility of meeting charming white girls, mestizo girls, mulato girl even asian looking girls sin colombia, while in the Philippines I can only meet one type of girl "the pinoy"

[ryanx]

publicduende:

If you are happily married to a lovely Colombian lady, what were you doing visiting Philippines and Davao of all places? business? pleasure? Just curios

[publicduende]

publicduende:

If you are happily married to a lovely Colombian lady, what were you doing visiting Philippines and Davao of all places? business? pleasure? Just curios

Sure, no problem. I had planned to spend the (2012) Xmas/New Year fortnight in Colombia with Monica and her family. Then, due to a rather unfortunate (because I get paid by the day) event called furlough, the chance of two extra weeks off came up and decided, of all places, to spend them on a cheap Asian beach, then fly back to London and then on to Medellin. After scraping the usual last minute sites for Malaysia, Indonesia, I found a page titled "the 10 best SEA beaches you have never heard of" and Samal Island was right there at the top, beckoning with her photo of lush forests that faded into shiny white sandy beaches, and coral and marine life sanctuaries at snorkelling distance. A cute little place called the Red Parrot Inn in the southern part of Samal, Kaputian, was then only a click away, and the related booking a phone call farther afield.

I spent the first few days enjoying the sun & corals and a few of the second week exploring Davao City, which is right in front of Samal Island. Kaputian itself is a bit "primitive" and under-developed, it with the distinctive taste of deep province, but sports one of the best beaches in Mindanao and there are several ferries to and from Davao, from a small wharf 5 minutes away from the hostel.

And by the way, if anyone is looking for a quiet, spotless clean, eminently expat-friendly and reasonably priced hostel in the middle of Paradise, look no further. A double room with spotless clean floor, new furniture, en-suite, air-con and TV, is only 1000 PHP/day. The hostel also has a dedicated satellite link which, when fully functional (that means neither under scorching sun nor under tropical storm), adds the benefit of a decently fast Internet connection.

http://www.redparrotinn.com/

[publicduende]

Hi OP, I don't have any experience with Asia, but from what I understand about Europe and Latin America, I would say don't go to either of them, because the age gap you're asking for is too unreasonable in those places. Based on what people say, Zamboanga is probably your best bet.

Will someone please start a Zamboanga thread?

Zamboanga is a small but clean city, from what I heard, and there's a good number of good looking mestizas, due to the strong Spanish and American presence there. Only problem, it's the most dangerous city in Mindanao, right at the epicenter of the separatist terrorist activities. I wouldn't mind spending a couple of days, but more than that without proper guidance could expose an old Caucasian to unnecessary risks. A shame, though, because it does look lovely and clean, with a few examples of colonial architecture, judging from the pictures.

[rudder]

the Basque Country have a large community of Catholic born and bred women, who will be more traditional and family-oriented. Of the latter camp, please avoid those who mention their affiliation with Opus Dei, avoid them like the plague!

Could you please elaborate on this? I used to live in the Basque Country and never heard of Opus Dei. Also, I certainly got the sense that the younger women in the Basque Country were as areligious as their counterparts in any other area in Spain.

The reason I mentioned Zamboanga is because it is Spanish-speaking. And the OP was asking about a couple Spanish speaking places. Is the rest of Mindanao Spanish-speaking or just Zamboanga?