The Filipinas (Observations/Tips)

[mguy]

Met a girl from online. She is a cute girl graduated top tier school. While we were at the bar, she casually mentioned her kid.

wtf.

I got the close and never talked to her again. Girls from online always has problems? I can't make that assessment yet but I'm leaning towards it.

Will drop $20 for speed dating event. Re-up my off-line pipeline.

Best girls I think are the ones introduced to you by friends. Speaking of which, I am going on a date with the daughter (23yrs old) of an Australian expat I met the other day. Does that count? I'm macking international crowd except bitchy American girls.

[In2dadark]

Job titles in the US have become more and more impossible to understand.

Is it possible that this is because most people in the West don't actually do anything meaningful, but rather just put on a costume, turn up at a building and indulge is silly rituals as a lame pretext to be handed welfare benefits?

Well put...

[ryanx]

Who wants a sogo tour?

Me

[mguy]

Some Filipinas are not open to be gamed. Love is between families, almost insestual. A result of an older world.

[mguy]

There is such a thing as "American game" -- ie. the things people in roosh do. those PUAs who neg.

Well, guess, what!! That can put you in a bad spot in the Philippines. Girls might smile and take it, but what you get is social murder.

Do not neg the wrong chicks here. I cringe when I think of American guys negging the girls. talk about demolishing the image for everybody..

Well I messed up on this too. I'm stopping all forms of neg and trickery that works for Am women but hardly translatable towards Filipinas. Clowns.

Be beta or beta + fun and you will be fine. Too much alpha spitting game is too coarse IMO. The worst part is that the girls are trained to accept this at face value and you will not notice it but your social murder payback looms for violation of this rule.

[mguy]

Filipinas are astutely aware of the "wall", that is with age they will not be as attractive to the opposite sex. American girls are oblivious to the wall until they have passed it.

[pandabear]

All poreners earn dollars ( like there are no Euros, no riyals, etc) and even the lowliest person makes 44 times the salary of an average Filipino. Not twice as much, not three times as much but a whooping 44 times as much. Because it is 44 pesos to the dollar. Logical, isn't it?

Even after decades in America, many Filipinos still think like this.

[OutWest]

Filipinas are astutely aware of the "wall", that is with age they will not be as attractive to the opposite sex. American girls are oblivious to the wall until they have passed it.

This is one of the most fundamental differences between American girls and filipinas.
Filipinas are reared into being aware of biological reality, whereas American girls are reared
into a delusional state of denial and mental illness that only gets worse as they age.

American girls typically follow the Home Depot rental equipment model. Keep on renting it out
till it gets into the high maintenance phase, then recondition it and sell it....aka marriage.
American men typically can barely wait to get a hold of their high mileage twats.
Even more disgusting are those men who are into "cougars" aka old spooge pots.
Most American women and men as well are really disgusting...symptoms of a dying culture.

I could talk to an uneducated girl from a remote province village and she would likely have
more common sense about these things than the average American.



outwest.

[publicduende]

Filipinas are astutely aware of the "wall", that is with age they will not be as attractive to the opposite sex. American girls are oblivious to the wall until they have passed it.

This is one of the most fundamental differences between American girls and filipinas.
Filipinas are reared into being aware of biological reality, whereas American girls are reared
into a delusional state of denial and mental illness that only gets worse as they age.

American girls typically follow the Home Depot rental equipment model. Keep on renting it out
till it gets into the high maintenance phase, then recondition it and sell it....aka marriage.
American men typically can barely wait to get a hold of their high mileage twats.
Even more disgusting are those men who are into "cougars" aka old spooge pots.
Most American women and men as well are really disgusting...symptoms of a dying culture.

I could talk to an uneducated girl from a remote province village and she would likely have
more common sense about these things than the average American.

Interesting. Would one be correct to assume that it is impossible to find a good looking, middle class Filipina who is not married or at least taken by the end of her prime (mid 20s, assuming she has been to college)?
This is the reality I discovered in Davao. Any girl worth dating was either taken or, in the best case scenario, fending off pretenders and wait for that (upper) middle class Filipino who would scoop her up and give her a much-needed social promotion. I have seen a couple of examples of the latter. One girl was absolutely gorgeous, 22, pearl white skin, a graduated nurse and doing part-time modeling. Her family was kind of poor and she told me her only asset was her beauty and degree, and she wasn't even thinking of dating anybody, let alone a foreigner, for the fear of losing her reputation and missing out on her upper class Filipino.

[OutWest]

Filipinas are astutely aware of the "wall", that is with age they will not be as attractive to the opposite sex. American girls are oblivious to the wall until they have passed it.

This is one of the most fundamental differences between American girls and filipinas.
Filipinas are reared into being aware of biological reality, whereas American girls are reared
into a delusional state of denial and mental illness that only gets worse as they age.

American girls typically follow the Home Depot rental equipment model. Keep on renting it out
till it gets into the high maintenance phase, then recondition it and sell it....aka marriage.
American men typically can barely wait to get a hold of their high mileage twats.
Even more disgusting are those men who are into "cougars" aka old spooge pots.
Most American women and men as well are really disgusting...symptoms of a dying culture.

I could talk to an uneducated girl from a remote province village and she would likely have
more common sense about these things than the average American.

Interesting. Would one be correct to assume that it is impossible to find a good looking, middle class Filipina who is not married or at least taken by the end of her prime (mid 20s, assuming she has been to college)?
This is the reality I discovered in Davao. Any girl worth dating was either taken or, in the best case scenario, fending off pretenders and wait for that (upper) middle class Filipino who would scoop her up and give her a much-needed social promotion. I have seen a couple of examples of the latter. One girl was absolutely gorgeous, 22, pearl white skin, a graduated nurse and doing part-time modeling. Her family was kind of poor and she told me her only asset was her beauty and degree, and she wasn't even thinking of dating anybody, let alone a foreigner, for the fear of losing her reputation and missing out on her upper class Filipino.

Western "dating" runs into old world reality. Of course there is a way to win in this situation
if you find a keeper and want to win her over. It is nothing that can be done on a vacation though.
I would have told he that I was thankful that she was keeping herself away from modern dating or American style dating, and that you thought that traditional Filipino courtship was much better.
I would get to know a few of her friends...especially one that seems sympathetic. Develop
her as a confidant. A traditional good girl in the Philippines does not want her reputation ruined
by becoming the vacation GF of foreigner. Tell the friend that your intentions are honorable
and that you intend courtship for marriage and wish to respect Filipino traditions.

You confidant will of course relay this of course, and if you are getting the green light(it may take time) you will know. Learn some tradition and show that you are willing to abide by those things.

Show that your intentions are honorable. Of course, for most Westerners, showing honorable intentions would be a basic contradiction in their character.

Take your time, get feedback on how this is going over with her dad (and mom) as as grandma
and grandpa. Join a local booster club of some sort and donate some time to a local charity.
If she is at all interested, you are giving her cover and justification for showing that interest.
She may begin confiding with her aunt or other family confidant that she has interest in you.

>>>>At some point, the fact that you are "different" will filter into their reality.

Be very respectful of her family. That is super important. At some point you want
to have that conversation with her father. You are marriage minded and that would be your sole
intention with courtship.

And did I say, be respectful of her family?

Invite her brother out for dinner and a few drinks. Make a friend.

If she has grandparents, show them care and every kindness.

This could go on and on, but if by this point you are getting green lights...
things would be about to get interesting. Of course, very very few Western men will ever do
anything like this. But for those who dare....


Outwest

[davewe]

Filipinas are astutely aware of the "wall", that is with age they will not be as attractive to the opposite sex. American girls are oblivious to the wall until they have passed it.

This is one of the most fundamental differences between American girls and filipinas.
Filipinas are reared into being aware of biological reality, whereas American girls are reared
into a delusional state of denial and mental illness that only gets worse as they age.

American girls typically follow the Home Depot rental equipment model. Keep on renting it out
till it gets into the high maintenance phase, then recondition it and sell it....aka marriage.
American men typically can barely wait to get a hold of their high mileage twats.
Even more disgusting are those men who are into "cougars" aka old spooge pots.
Most American women and men as well are really disgusting...symptoms of a dying culture.

I could talk to an uneducated girl from a remote province village and she would likely have
more common sense about these things than the average American.

Interesting. Would one be correct to assume that it is impossible to find a good looking, middle class Filipina who is not married or at least taken by the end of her prime (mid 20s, assuming she has been to college)?
This is the reality I discovered in Davao. Any girl worth dating was either taken or, in the best case scenario, fending off pretenders and wait for that (upper) middle class Filipino who would scoop her up and give her a much-needed social promotion. I have seen a couple of examples of the latter. One girl was absolutely gorgeous, 22, pearl white skin, a graduated nurse and doing part-time modeling. Her family was kind of poor and she told me her only asset was her beauty and degree, and she wasn't even thinking of dating anybody, let alone a foreigner, for the fear of losing her reputation and missing out on her upper class Filipino.

Western "dating" runs into old world reality. Of course there is a way to win in this situation
if you find a keeper and want to win her over. It is nothing that can be done on a vacation though.
I would have told he that I was thankful that she was keeping herself away from modern dating or American style dating, and that you thought that traditional Filipino courtship was much better.
I would get to know a few of her friends...especially one that seems sympathetic. Develop
her as a confidant. A traditional good girl in the Philippines does not want her reputation ruined
by becoming the vacation GF of foreigner. Tell the friend that your intentions are honorable
and that you intend courtship for marriage and wish to respect Filipino traditions.

You confidant will of course relay this of course, and if you are getting the green light(it may take time) you will know. Learn some tradition and show that you are willing to abide by those things.

Show that your intentions are honorable. Of course, for most Westerners, showing honorable intentions would be a basic contradiction in their character.

Take your time, get feedback on how this is going over with her dad (and mom) as as grandma
and grandpa. Join a local booster club of some sort and donate some time to a local charity.
If she is at all interested, you are giving her cover and justification for showing that interest.
She may begin confiding with her aunt or other family confidant that she has interest in you.

>>>>At some point, the fact that you are "different" will filter into their reality.

Be very respectful of her family. That is super important. At some point you want
to have that conversation with her father. You are marriage minded and that would be your sole
intention with courtship.

And did I say, be respectful of her family?

Invite her brother out for dinner and a few drinks. Make a friend.

If she has grandparents, show them care and every kindness.

This could go on and on, but if by this point you are getting green lights...
things would be about to get interesting. Of course, very very few Western men will ever do
anything like this. But for those who dare....

Outwest

Exactly! Completely true that most men will never do this, whether because they have been ruined by the Western dating scene or because they just want a quick exotic-girl lay.

In my case I met my wife to be online - nothing unusual about that. When I was planning my 1st trip to PI I asked if she would like to meet me in Cebu but told her I would be meeting others. She declined, thinking I just wanted to "collect and select." I was disappointed but respected her for her decision.

Later we remained friends but I knew she was hurt that I had met and no doubt connected with other girls. Eventually I decided she was the best one I knew and I wanted to see how we might relate. It took some convincing.

I met her family and they took took a bit of convincing. I asked her parents what questions they had and I got grilled, though nicely. I sat in their living room surrounded by 40 family and friends who asked me questions, including the big one - were we going to marry? "That's a good possibility," I said laughing.

I guess I convinced everyone - she's sitting next to me now.

I am not a moralist but the real value in PI is not in meeting girls just to screw.

[mguy]

Interesting. Would one be correct to assume that it is impossible to find a good looking, middle class Filipina who is not married or at least taken by the end of her prime (mid 20s, assuming she has been to college)?
This is the reality I discovered in Davao. Any girl worth dating was either taken or, in the best case scenario, fending off pretenders and wait for that (upper) middle class Filipino who would scoop her up and give her a much-needed social promotion. I have seen a couple of examples of the latter. One girl was absolutely gorgeous, 22, pearl white skin, a graduated nurse and doing part-time modeling. Her family was kind of poor and she told me her only asset was her beauty and degree, and she wasn't even thinking of dating anybody, let alone a foreigner, for the fear of losing her reputation and missing out on her upper class Filipino.

I had to comment.

You are on to something publicduende. I observed the following to be a truism.

It is virtually impossible to meet a mainstream Filipina virtually.

The reality is, if you want to get "normal" girls, you would have to be integrated into society. Only then will the normal girls open up to you. When they do ... expect a flood.

[mguy]

There is one thing that irks me in such magnitude about Filipinas.

Their capacity to conduct shit-talk. They are gossip queens.

They want dirt. ALL.YOUR.DIRT.

It is vile. It is disgusting.

The shit is enough for me to make me want to ask them to STFU.

Why is this important? Because Filipinas will talk among themselves and it is YOU that they are gossiping about. They will know everything about you. This is how they bond. The dirtier the information the higher the value, the faster it spreads. Guard your information gentlemen, keep your affairs private from the Filipina -- they are not as sweet as they seem.

[Mr Natural]

Guard your information gentlemen, keep your affairs private from the Filipina -- they are not as sweet as they seem.

Yeah ok, sure. But umm, could you introduce me to the one on the left?

[publicduende]

Western "dating" runs into old world reality. Of course there is a way to win in this situation
if you find a keeper and want to win her over. It is nothing that can be done on a vacation though.
I would have told he that I was thankful that she was keeping herself away from modern dating or American style dating, and that you thought that traditional Filipino courtship was much better.
I would get to know a few of her friends...especially one that seems sympathetic. Develop
her as a confidant. A traditional good girl in the Philippines does not want her reputation ruined
by becoming the vacation GF of foreigner. Tell the friend that your intentions are honorable
and that you intend courtship for marriage and wish to respect Filipino traditions.

You confidant will of course relay this of course, and if you are getting the green light(it may take time) you will know. Learn some tradition and show that you are willing to abide by those things.

Show that your intentions are honorable. Of course, for most Westerners, showing honorable intentions would be a basic contradiction in their character.

Take your time, get feedback on how this is going over with her dad (and mom) as as grandma
and grandpa. Join a local booster club of some sort and donate some time to a local charity.
If she is at all interested, you are giving her cover and justification for showing that interest.
She may begin confiding with her aunt or other family confidant that she has interest in you.

>>>>At some point, the fact that you are "different" will filter into their reality.

Be very respectful of her family. That is super important. At some point you want
to have that conversation with her father. You are marriage minded and that would be your sole
intention with courtship.

And did I say, be respectful of her family?

Invite her brother out for dinner and a few drinks. Make a friend.

If she has grandparents, show them care and every kindness.

This could go on and on, but if by this point you are getting green lights...
things would be about to get interesting. Of course, very very few Western men will ever do
anything like this. But for those who dare....


Outwest

Spot on, OW. Unfortunately, many of the things you mention - time, perseverance, conviction, attention to the local culture and customs - don't resonate too well with the "need it easy, cheap and yesterday" attitude of the younger generations of Americans. If, as you admit, even adult and middle-aged men can easily be deluded that a hot, traditional and well-educated Pinay will fall into their laps only by virtue of a handful of online chats (with a few minutes of pixelated webcam) and a couple of weeks spent over there, just imagine what expectations the younger 'uns may be nurturing.

As well as impatience, another problem I see is the fact that the American work ethics will only allow decent money and no free time, or plenty of free time and limited/welfare money. I don't know how many good-hearted young men have enough savings to leave their corporate jobs, travel to the Philippines and spend the weeks, if not months, needed to establish themselves among the locals, meet the right kind of young women, get intimate with them and their entourage and, finally, woo one. As far as I know, a mid-career American man has around 10 or 15 days of paid leave per year. How many of them would want to commit 75% or 100% of their holiday pool on the hope to find the perfect young gf?

The only category I see succeeding that way is the rare young expat on a good package and European (25/30 days per year) holidays, perhaps stationed in a first-world socio-economic platform "commutable" to the other SEA destinations. When I was in Singapore in 2009 I saw quite a few of those late-20-to-mid-30 lucky dogs doing very well both in town or on frequent trips to neighbouring Malaysia, Indonesia, Thailand or the Philippines.

Your suggestion, to focus on "the one" and invest enough time and effort, is a good one. The thing I have noticed is, traditional girls from upper middle class backgrounds - the Ateneo, De La Salle or Santo Tomas graduates - will have have massive pressure from their social peers and family not to stray from the pre-determined path of settling with a young man of similar or superior heritage. I really wouldn't see many of those top-notch young women dissing most of their social circle and choosing a 40-something or divorced foreigner. Of course I have heard stories fo those girls who leave their families and venture into dating adults, Filipinos or foreign, and drop out of school and/or get pregnant and/or disowned by their families. Those don't sound good gf material to start with, though...

As you could probably testify, things do change moving away from the upper middle class of Metro Manila, Cebu or Davao to the middle class of a smaller town or a rural area, and from middle to lower middle class. I once bumped into a very old (> 60) man from Romania (who could speak perfect Italian) who had settled in Davao and married the daughter of a local Samal politician, the ex-mayor of one of the small villages on the island if I remember well. Surely a nice young, traditional girl from a well-known family, yet not so-well educated (she could hardly speak any English) and - at least to my eyes - not quite the stunner.

I have then met families in Davao who were wealthy enough to pay holiday trips to Las Vegas and Japanese hot springs several times a year, and whose kids had their summer camps in South Korea, Singapore or Canada. Assuming those girls will grow up not only smart and good looking, but with solid principles, they will most probably learn that they have a legacy which needs be preserved, a career that's incompatible with marrying too young and wealth which needs be kept within the family or pooled to that of an even wealthier family. And while all the markers of high status - physical height, fair skin and Chinese or Caucasian looks aren't abundant - there seems to be enough eligible boy and girls among those local elites.

If memory doesn't fail me, you are married to a young and attractive girl who is an Engineering graduate and daughter to an influential family in the town you chose to settle in. All box squarely ticked, basically! I would say she (and your happiness) are a testament to how wisely you played all of your cards as well as, obviously, the great deal of time and dedication you poured into your Pinoy adventure. Now tell me: everything else on your side being equal, would you have managed, indeed would you have wanted, to win the heart of an upper middle class girl from Makati, or central Cebu?