Helping Poorer Filipinas- Reasons and Cost

[ladislav]

If you are contemplating getting involved with a Filipina, the question of money will one day come up. Love is fine, but she is living in a very capitalistic country compared to which the US will seem like cradle-to grave-welfare state like the countries of Scandinavia. If you get involved with an average young lady, you will have to sooner or later face the financial issues. All women will eventually become an expense for you no matter which way you look at it. I will attempt to now concentrate on a particular type of lady one can meet there, and it is the one that urgently needs your help- a lady who is in need.

For example, in the Philippines, you may run into quite a few very smart young females who have not finished high school. They will look elegant and refined and will have a decent conversation with you, but it will turn out very soon that they had to quit their study because the parents did not have enough money to support them. So, you have 19, 22, 24 year olds that had to quit their very important education because parents ran out of money to send them to school. 'How come?' you will ask.' Isn't high school free there?' Well, yes, but there are all these other expenses like packed lunches, various projects, forms, papers, filing fees of some kind, etc. The mom and dad simply did not have the money. They are Catholic so they created all these big families because that is what the Bible teaches they should do. Contraception is sin; be fruitful and multiply, and fill the Earth, etc. You may say it is all impractical, but that is just the way it is there. The result is young people who have a bleak future and can only hope for bottom-of-the-line jobs or no jobs at all. Some will have no choice but to resort to prostitution or the relatively new profession of 'cyber sex' where they will be stripping online in front of overseas voyeurs who will sometimes have a sexy chat with them for c20 a minute, ask them to show their naked bodies and occasionally titillate themselves with plastic toys in front of webcams. Some will become G.R.O.s- 'guest relation officers'- a euphemism for hostesses, that sit with men at bars and pour them drinks ( while being groped and pawed in the process by drunk smelly foreigners or locals). The lucky ones will become domestic helpers (servants) at home of overseas. Some will end up factory workers if, again, lucky.

In most such cases, they will again be making very little money, and still be expected to help their families. The young people like that will be trapped in a very bleak existence from which there is almost no way out.

There is another category of ladies who have finished high school, but had to quit college, again, because there was no money. Scholarships are hard to come by in the Philippines, and there are no student loans, so if you have money, you finish college, if you don' t, you don't.

A lot of such young ladies are looking for a 'nilalang', a soul , 'an angel without wings', who would extend a helping hand and give them a chance to prove to you, their society and themselves that they want to be educated, successful and productive; that they are willing to work hard, and study hard, and do anything to advance themselves in an honest way, if only they would have the opportunity to do so.

What is in it for you? Well, in many cases, the lady will gladly become your girlfriend, and since Filipinas are bred to be amorous and romantic, they will very quickly fall in love with you. You will also feel needed, and very much a man with the traditional, proper role of a helper, guide, advisor, defender and other such noble titles. In other cases, you would not want her to be a girlfriend at all, but simply a protégé of yours, a young person whom you are mentoring and helping.

The above course of action is not everyone's cup of tea, as many guys are either selfish, mistrustful , do not have the money, are not interested in foreign cultures and/or women, and for a variety of other reasons. But, suppose, you are willing to embark on something like this. How much would all this cost?

Ok, here we go: one lady in Manila who I am helping now ( and who is not my girlfriend, by the way) has been helped in the following way: I had her move into a room at a lady's only guest house. It costs $60 a month to rent a room there. $120 moved her in. Then, I helped to her to get what they call 'requirements'- documents needed to get a job- IDs, medical and police clearance, 'barangay' clearance – this is a document from her neighbourhood certifying of her good conduct, and a few other such documents. Without those, you cannot apply for a job in the Philippines. The cost was, well, somewhere in the vicinity of $50. I then helped her get a job at a ''call center'', a customer service center, where people call in to get assistance about products or services, like the ones they have in India, for one. Yup, this is where American jobs are being outsourced now.

To get in, she needed to pay $120 for a training course, and she will start working very soon. Although not even a HS graduate, she was able to pass the exam there because she had the money to get in. I also paid for a five month high school equivalency course, which was a bit expensive and where only the rich send their kids to study- lazy teenagers, kids from broken homes of the wealthy, etc. It cost somewhere around $800. Then, also, there were daily expenses, food, cellphone, transportation, well, another $400-600 for the two months while she gets the training. Another $300 or so got her into a photographer training program which is what she really wants to do with her life. That and a few other things totalled about $2000 to lift the girl from the point where she was teetering at the edge of an abyss to having a bright future. She is now working very hard, studying very hard and says- I have a beautiful future thanks to you and I am super, super happy. She also calls me ' Aking Ginoo', meaning 'My Lord'.

Many young women in Manila are very vulnerable. They can be raped, sold to a criminal syndicate, and taken advantage of in so many other ways. Some get robbed of the few things they have, and there is little help available from anyone anywhere. If you are willing to provide it, you will become a hero of the monumental proportions for very few people are willing to do it.

Am I an ego tripper? Perhaps, but I now feel very good about myself because I think people are pre-programmed to feel their happiest when they help others. She never asked for luxuries, just a chance to study hard and work hard, and be treated like a member of society, which she now is. Soon she will be making pretty good money by her society's standards and be on her way to total independence, which is what she wants. And which is what I want.

So, yes, generally, it takes more or less $2000 to raise a very unfortunate country girl who is now struggling in Manila to the level of a 'middle class-ish' life and keep her there. It will cost much less to help people with fewer needs. And, of course, it will cost a bit more to help girls who are going to nursing schools and other such serious institutions of learning. Recently, another girl I knew had lost her scholarship because she had failed one subject; she was hit with a bill of P 18,000 which she needed to pay for her next semester. How much is it in dollars? About $450. Not too much, but it is very big money in the Philippines.

There are also unforeseen circumstances that can require additional expenses for little things like doctor's visits and cell phones lost and new clothes and all. If you are willing to help the girl long term, with rent, tuition for say over a year or more, it will roughly cost you some $350-500 a month with everything included.

College tuition in the Philippines varies from $250-500 per semester, or $500-1000 a year. At some very expensive nursing schools, it can be as much as $1400-1500 a year, which is still peanuts compared to how much it would cost to get a similar education in the US.

Is this a lot? I don't think so. But even if it is, well, do keep in mind that we are talking about helping ladies who are in real dire straights and who want to rise to he middle class level from there. If the girl is somewhat independent, and has a job, it will be significantly less, or, paradoxically, eventually, more, because more 'successful' girls have expensive tastes whereas damsels in distress will be happy with and grateful for far less help (although they may 'need' a bit more. Initially, at least.)

At the lower end of the scale, the absolute minimum would probably be some $125 per month in Manila and other big cities and some $70 a month in the countryside. This will be just barely subsistence level with no school fees or anything. To send someone to a high school ( at age 20) in Manila will cost maybe $30-35 a month, and maybe some $25- 30 a month in the countryside.

There is also another way of helping ladies – some want to run their own business, a noodle shop, for example. How much would it cost to set one up? In the US, it would cost maybe $40,000-60,000. In the Philippines, some $500-$700. Yup! She will be independent and supporting herself for the money she will be making. But you need to make sure that the girl has business acumen for things like that and that she has done something of the sort in the past.

One thing that you may run into is that when you ask ladies to calculate their budget is that they will have little experience doing so, so you will have to conduct and interview, maybe online by using YM and help them along by asking how much they need and adding up the numbers. It will very often happen that after you have decided and agreed on a sum, that they will ask you for more and then, again, for more. Let them know in advance that you cannot be ''milked'' like that and that an agreed upon amount is non negotiable and cannot be ''expanded'', so they have to be very careful in telling you how much they need. Otherwise they will keep approaching you fro additional sums over and over again. In their very relaxed Malay culture, agreements are not written in stone,and are flexible and changeable. It is up to you if you want to follow her culture or yours. Personally, I prefer to be strict and let them know that I will not budge from an agreed amount except in very dire and unforeseen emergencies.

Will you sometimes be cheated and taken advantage of and lied to have you part with your money? Yup! Will the majority of ladies do that? Nope. Probably, some 20% will. Can you avoid such losses completely? Nope. Can you minimize the possibility of that happening? Yes. How? Hard to say, use your instincts; ask for receipts, invoices, etc. Have her scan those, and email them to you. Should you be a cynical and mistrustful ogre, though? Nope. Most ladies there are quite good and honest, but do remember the old Cold War proverb- ''Doveriay da Proveriay'' 'Trust but Verify'. In the course of over a decade of helping ladies in distress, about one out of five would be dishonest and try to cheat me, while most would be very honest and actually fearful that I would flake out on them and stop helping them.

There have also been some ladies, who had refused my help and said that they did not need anything from me. It is their choice and I did not insist. I personally like to help people that need help from someone like me.

Did I take advantage of poor people and haughtily feed my ego by trying to act like a great benefactor in exchange for sex? No. I did not ask for sex from any of them and never attempted to have two girlfriends at the same time by professing love to two or more unbeknownst to either of them. In most cases, I would not put cards on the table and offer deals- ''I pay your tuition and you be my g.f'' However, in many cases, the girls themselves fall in love and start confessing how much you mean to them. How should one deal with that? Hmm, I still have not figured out the solution. I guess I always try to keep a bit of a distance between me and them, and act politely, but with a degree of deference. I also realize that if I fall in love, or they fall in love with me deeply, the result is marriage which is what most of them want. And, if it is not marriage, it is a possession with the girl checking your every move and trying to control you 24/7 which is what often happens. But, this is a completely different story and a topic for another article.

So, if you have extra money, no family, no kids, and want to devote your time to a very worthy and beautiful cause, you can become a helper to some of the most gorgeous and wonderful women in the world. You will be called Sir, Boss, Angel without Wings, A Windfall from Heaven, The One Sent by God, The Advisor, and other unthinkably beautiful names. Sure beats being called a dork, a jerk, a loser and 'disgusting' by women back home, doesn't it?

[gmm567]

Nice post. I sure as hell would rather help one of those girls than one of these American thug loving princesses who have 15k of credit card debt-from the 300 shoes they've bought.

[Hero]

I agree, there's no better feeling than being a hero to a nice Pinay who's down on her luck. It was well worth the $150 I sent to my lady friend in Cebu to replace her stolen cell phone.

[foreignwomenonly]

It's always much more rewarding to help someone who truly appreciates it. It's great to hear about good men helping (Filipino) women who truly appreciate it, and kicking unappreciative American women to the curb.

--FWO

[gmm567]

I just re-reading ladislavs posts. I've spent some time on tagged and really wonder about the philipines. There are a lot of stupid looking people there and I just wonder that I would get to hate the stupidness and the lack of morality that so often accompanies stupid people. But may it is not so.... look

"Will you sometimes be cheated and taken advantage of and lied to have you part with your money? Yup! Will the majority of ladies do that? Nope. Probably, some 20% will. "

[Mr S]

Well here is an opportunity to help some chick that's desperate: http://www.mariev.cjb.net/
I got a text on my phone (sometimes people here send random texts). Seems she is willing to maybe devirginize herself for financial security. The funny thing is there is no contact info on the web page so it could be a red flag. But thats typical dumb thinking of the locals here, speaking of the general stupidity here. If anyone wants to go out on a limb the cell number I got is this: +639276134786

Actually if she is real this would be a good relationship opportunity as her parents are dead and no siblings! So... no bullshit family issues to deal with. If she really is educated and a virgin...well there you go!

Anyways if anyone checks her out to see if she is real or a scammer let us know...

In regards to the general idiocy here, you get used to dealing with it after a while. Every place has stupidity in it, it's just affects different areas of life or varying degrees of annoyance. Remember also places attract different types of personalities. In my opinion the Philippines is just an average place to live and hang out, but great to visit short time. but I have different interests and needs from what the majority of the culture practices so this is why it's not an ideal place for me long term. If you are an intellectual this is not the place to live long term. If you carry your emotions on your shoulder than you will enjoy the place more than me probably.

[gmm567]

she has a nice rack....


35 - 25 - 36

[Winston]

she has a nice rack....


35 - 25 - 36

W: Where? There's only one photo of her face. You can't see her rack or body.

I wonder why she doesn't just go work in the bar? Or become a cam girl? She looks like an innocent conservative girl with good grades.

[WorldTraveler]

she has a nice rack....


35 - 25 - 36

W: Where? There's only one photo of her face. You can't see her rack or body.

I wonder why she doesn't just go work in the bar? Or become a cam girl? She looks like an innocent conservative girl with good grades.

Why work when you can get Western guys to feel sorry for you and give you money for doing nothing!!! Who ever heard of a Filipino w/out an extended family. If she's real she's a scammer or else she could go work in bar or chat camera.

Let me know guys what you find out?????

[ladislav]

I just realized one thing- in most religions they teach us to help other people and to be generous to those who are unfortunate. What lacks in most religions is instructions on how to deal with those who take advantage of kind people by faking poverty or exaggerating problems or making up stories or just plane robbing those who are nice. Can someone quote Jesus or Mohammed or Gautama or Bhagavat-Ghita or any other teaching which will tell us how to help others without losing your shirt?
I have helped many people and, in the process, often got insulted, taken advantage of, and taken to the cleaners as a result. Many times I did not even get a 'thank you'. People just became arrogant and developed an 'entitlement complex' about my help. And then they tried to get more and more. As they say in Spanish- 'the mounted me like a horse and rode me'. That is why most people just hold on to their wallets and do not give anything to anyone. Inspite of what they get taught in the Church. And maybe they are right.
WTF?! Jesus, Mohammed and other great people, why did not you not warn me about this?

[Hero]

I just realized one thing- in most religions they teach us to help other people and to be generous to those who are unfortunate. What lacks in most religions is instructions on how to deal with those who take advantage of kind people by faking poverty or exaggerating problems or making up stories or just plane robbing those who are nice. Can someone quote Jesus or Mohammed or Gautama or Bhagavat-Ghita or any other teaching which will tell us how to help others without losing your shirt?
I have helped many people and, in the process, often got insulted, taken advantage of, and taken to the cleaners as a result. Many times I did not even get a 'thank you'. People just became arrogant and developed an 'entitlement complex' about my help. And then they tried to get more and more. As they say in Spanish- 'the mounted me like a horse and rode me'. That is why most people just hold on to their wallets and do not give anything to anyone. Inspite of what they get taught in the Church. And maybe they are right.
WTF?! Jesus, Mohammed and other great people, why did not you not warn me about this?

The answer is to give your money to a legitimate church or charity, and let them deal with the poor folks.

[Jackal]

I just realized one thing- in most religions they teach us to help other people and to be generous to those who are unfortunate. What lacks in most religions is instructions on how to deal with those who take advantage of kind people by faking poverty or exaggerating problems or making up stories or just plane robbing those who are nice. Can someone quote Jesus or Mohammed or Gautama or Bhagavat-Ghita or any other teaching which will tell us how to help others without losing your shirt?
I have helped many people and, in the process, often got insulted, taken advantage of, and taken to the cleaners as a result. Many times I did not even get a 'thank you'. People just became arrogant and developed an 'entitlement complex' about my help. And then they tried to get more and more. As they say in Spanish- 'the mounted me like a horse and rode me'. That is why most people just hold on to their wallets and do not give anything to anyone. Inspite of what they get taught in the Church. And maybe they are right.
WTF?! Jesus, Mohammed and other great people, why did not you not warn me about this?

I think the great spiritual masters teach that only giving without any expectation of reward is a spiritual act. If you're still thinking like a normal person and expect something in return for your charity, it's not really charity; it's just another purchase.

Spiritual masters have such a radically different conception of the world and themselves (and in the Buddhist case, they see the belief in an independent, static self as an illusion), that they do not care about risking their own body and possessions.

From a Buddhist point of view, if you gave without any expectation of reward, you created good karma for yourself over the long term, even if you were robbed in the short term. Similarly, the person who robbed you created bad karma for himself/herself over the long term, even though he or she gained some money or possessions in the short term.

Religions are all about the long term. If a person only cares about the short term, they will find all religions stupid.

[Winston]

Steve just told me about a site where you can buy a cell phone load for a Filipina, instead of sending her cash for it and paying the huge Western Union fees. Here it is. You can pay by PayPal too. It sends to both Smart and Globe.

http://www.pinoyloadstation.com/

[davewe]

ladislav:

So if I read this right, it sounds like you do not use this methodology to find gfs. What is your favored metrology to find gas in PI then? Or do enough of them eventually desire to be your gf without your proposing the exchange of sex for assistance?

This seems a noble undertaking but I would personally be more inclined to do this for a gf or potential gf than just some girl who needed my help, since they are everywhere.