The baby is a boy! Now some questions

[Winston]

The baby is a boy! Now some questions

Hi folks,
Well as I and some of my friends predicted based on our intuition, our baby is a BOY!

I even have documented proof that I knew this in advance, as I stated on my video camera before our ultrasound session at the maternity clinic, that I strongly feel from my sixth sense that it’s a boy, to the point of certainty. AFTER that, our nurse showed the body part of the baby on the ultrasound image screen that confirmed it, validating my sixth sense.

Now, if you are a skeptic, you might think that it’s not a big deal to guess right on a 50/50 chance. But this wasn’t the first time I had a sixth sense knowing that turned out to be correct. I once guessed the correct suit on playing cards (a one in four chance) five times in a row. And a few months ago, I did this in front of Dianne and she saw it with her own eyes, me guessing the correct suit on playing cards in her hand, 6 or 7 times in a row. (it was NOT a magic trick, I was relying on PURE ESP) After that, I attempted to guess the exact suit and number of the cards in her hand just for fun, and got them right TWO TIMES IN A ROW! Somehow, I just knew that the next card she was holding was the Ace of Spades, there was an inner knowing about it, and when she turned it around, IT WAS! I couldn’t believe my eyes, though deep down, I knew that ESP/telepathy was a reality. She was amazed too.

And earlier today, before going to the maternity clinic to do an ultrasound on Dianne to determine whether our baby is a boy or girl, an inner knowing/realization hit me when we went through the door of the clinic, that it was a boy. No doubt about it. Before, it was just a hunch, but when we got to the clinic, it became a clear “knowing�. I documented this on my video camera too, before the ultrasound even started, so I have objective hard proof of this. Then I filmed the ultrasound session, which confirmed that our baby is a boy. The nurse showed on the ultrasound image, the part of the baby’s body that indicated that it was a boy. In addition, several of my friends emailed me the day before and told me that they felt that it was a boy too. So I am confident that ESP and a sixth sense DO EXIST, and that I possess some form of it occasionally.

This reminds me of an incident I still remember back in 1979 or 1980, when one of our daycare directors called us all to come forth for the announcement of our next field trip, minutes before the announcement I had an inner knowing/realization that she was going to announce that we were going to see the new Star Wars movie “The Empire Strikes Back�. A minute or two later, she announced just that. (And no, I wasn’t hoping that we were going to see that movie, at the time, I wasn’t that big of a Star Wars fan yet and was indifferent to it)

Such events would seem to suggest that I might have some ability to see into the future short term, minutes before the event happens.

Likewise, Dianne seems to have a sixth sense of knowing where things are, even in places she’s never been before. She can find Chinese or Korean restaurants at my request, even in crowded city streets of Manila that we’ve never been to. I’ve seen her do similar things so many times already. And she has a special touch for things that I don’t. She even uses my electric razor better than me, even though I’ve used it for years, she’s able to use it to get hairs off my face that I can’t no matter how many times I brush against it! And she is able to cook dishes ready in no time, faster than what I thought was possible. She seems to have magical touches that I can’t explain. One time, during a rainstorm, after thunder followed lightning, she told the thunder to stop, and the next two times lightning came, no thunder followed! (Ok maybe I shouldn’t be sharing that, as it might discredit me, and the universe might have meant such an event to be private and special, but that’s how it happened, and I’m not giving any wild theories about it)

Frankly, I didn’t have any preference whether it is a boy or girl. I let the universe decide that. What’s meant to be will be. Dianne feels the same, though she fears that if it’s a boy, that it might become a “babaeroâ€� (“playboyâ€� in Tagalog) like it’s father.  hehehe. So maybe I should hide my site from it and never tell him about it? Lol Or perhaps I should change my name on all the content of my site to some pseudonym? (or is it too late to do that?) I guess for that to work, I’d have to be forgotten someday to the point where no one will remember me. Or remove the site when the baby is of reading age? Whatever the case, I told Dianne she can give the baby all the morals she wants to instill in him.

Anyway, now the question is: What name should we give him?

We forgot to get the free booklet of baby names that the maternity clinic was going to give us.

I want a name that is cultured, with character and beauty, but not too common either. The only thing that came to my mind was “Romeo�. What do you think of that? Would that make him easily popular with girls, or get made fun of? Dianne’s father wants him to be named “Renz�, “Bench� or “Wendel�.

As to “Wendel�, it sounds a bit feminine, lovey dovey mama-boy-like. “Bench� is a brand name of clothing here in the Philippines, as well as something you sit on, so I don’t think of it as a boy’s name. “Renz� just doesn’t spark anything. Frankly, I wouldn’t like a Hispanic sounding name, which many Filipino names sound like.

Any ideas? I was thinking of a name from Greek or Roman mythology, or something Celtic.

Another issue is that currently, the baby is “upside down� in Dianne’s stomach, which means that it’s technically standing rightside up and would come out feet first if being delivered. The nurse warned that if the baby were “upside down� when delivered, that it could not come out naturally feet first, and that a cesarian (surgically cutting open the lower half of the stomach) would have to be done. And that of course, would be costly financially as well as cause a lot of pain to the mother.

So what can be done to prevent that? Is there any way that we can influence the baby to not be “upside down� right before delivery? Is there some technological way to influence the position of the baby? Or some way to use fingers to put pressure on the stomach to make it turn? What are the odds that the baby will turn itself the right way? Is it even normal for it to be occasionally upside down?

Anyone been through this before?

Thanks from a new father,
Winston

PS – I’ll be busy getting ready to go to Taiwan soon, and probably won’t be online for a few days. In the meantime, Dianne won’t be able to sleep at night without me, literally. So we aren’t sure what to do about that problem for the next two weeks. I keep telling her that it will be alright and that she should count herself lucky that I’m not going away for 7 or 9 months like some of my friends did after finding a Filipina girlfriend here. But thinking that way doesn’t seem to solve her problem. So what can we do?

[sharpbws]

The baby is a boy!

Congratulations. I'd recommend you do a paternity test before you go signing any birth certificates. Always pays to be sure in these matters.

[KristineTheStrawberryGirl]

I really like the names Dorian, Adrian and Sebastian. My husband hates those names, so we did not use those names, and we will not be using those names. Perhaps you may consider them? I also like the name Roman, but my husband also really hates that name. He likes the name Vasilly, which I objected to due to the likelihood that American kids would nickname him "silly." There are lots of names out there ... almost too many to choose!

[KristineTheStrawberryGirl]

The baby is a boy!

I'd recommend you do a paternity test before you go signing any birth certificates. Always pays to be sure in these matters.

I second this. I am not trying to insult your girl or anything, I am sure she's a wonderful young lady. However, don't stipulate or sign any declarations of paternity until you get genetic testing. It's no joke, and signing a paternity declaration can cause you to have child support obligations even if genetic testing later proves otherwise. It also does not matter where you live. Child support enforcement jurisdictions can enforce in almost any foreign land. It's called long-arm enforcement.

[Winston]

The baby is a boy!

I'd recommend you do a paternity test before you go signing any birth certificates. Always pays to be sure in these matters.

I second this. I am not trying to insult your girl or anything, I am sure she's a wonderful young lady. However, don't stipulate or sign any declarations of paternity until you get genetic testing. It's no joke, and signing a paternity declaration can cause you to have child support obligations even if genetic testing later proves otherwise. It also does not matter where you live. Child support enforcement jurisdictions can enforce in almost any foreign land. It's called long-arm enforcement.

W: I would but I heard the costs for genetic testing are like $300 or $400!

[sharpbws]

I would but I heard the costs for genetic testing are like $300 or $400!

Winston, for once in your life don't be stupid! Let me get this right, you would rather forego the cost of a paternity test because it costs $300 or $400 and thereby assume the perhaps hundreds of thousands of dollars required to support a child that might not be yours until it reaches age 21 AND the mother who bore it?

Of all the selfsih and self-centered reasonss you tapped your parents for money over the past 5 years, this would be the one thing that if you asked them, I believe they'd happily make sure you have the money to afford.

This is DEFINITELY NOT the time to be a cheapskate Winston. Think about it!

[KristineTheStrawberryGirl]

Winston, have you ever heard of "arrears?" Just so you know, "arrears" is not a kinky sex game or a pair of buttless chaps. Child support arrears can add up to almost a half a million dollars for a man of average salary. It can be very crippling. Believe, me, $300.00 is NOTHING for genetic testing. Please keep in mind, you have an education and there is demonstrated proof that you have earning ability. Your support amount would likely be based on your potential earnings rather than your actual earnings. Your bohemian lifestyle would be shattered by this. Please, Winston, get the genetic testing, and if positive paternity is determined, marry the girl or get custody of that child. Have you ever heard the saying "it's cheaper to keep her?" It's true, Winston. The family courts in most places will absolutely butt rape you beyond anything that you would pay as a custodial father (I think that is why they called it "arrears" -how shamelessly sadistic of them!). They can, and often do take half of your income, and accrue arrears for every child. Child support arrears make college debt, auto and home loans look like an electric bill during springtime.

[gmm567]

There are two major lab companies in the world. One is from Denmark. The other I don't know--somewhere in the US. Those companies can do all the tests that a hospital lab will do, and are used by hospitals to farm out tests that are not done in house.

The test probably costs $2.50 to do. How do I know this? My dad is a pathologist and ran hospital labs for 45 years. You've got a hell of a mark up at $300.

Check those two independant lab companies for costs. I don't have the names of them but they should be out there on the internet somewhere.
You just ship them the samples, even internationally with Fedex. You might be able to use hair as a sample, too.

Compare costs--that's what no one does when they buy medical services and that's why the prices are so high. There is no incentive to be a low priced provider.

[KristineTheStrawberryGirl]

My understanding is that genetic testing tends to be paid for by family courts. Anyway, in terms of legal obligations, paternity/non-paternity means pretty much nothing until it is adjudicated. The science part of the testing is good for his own peace of mind, but oddly enough, the courts are what decide paternity, and there are cases where a man can be named a legal father even when he is not a biological father. The point I hope that Winston understands is not to unintentionally sign any declarations of paternity, and waving his rights to paternity establishment. Another point is that if Winston thinks that 300.00 is allot, that is nothing compared to even a minimum wage child support order.

[Winston]

I would but I heard the costs for genetic testing are like $300 or $400!

Winston, for once in your life don't be stupid! Let me get this right, you would rather forego the cost of a paternity test because it costs $300 or $400 and thereby assume the perhaps hundreds of thousands of dollars required to support a child that might not be yours until it reaches age 21 AND the mother who bore it?

Of all the selfsih and self-centered reasonss you tapped your parents for money over the past 5 years, this would be the one thing that if you asked them, I believe they'd happily make sure you have the money to afford.

This is DEFINITELY NOT the time to be a cheapskate Winston. Think about it!

W: Brad, you are being paranoid again and blowing things out of proportion. No my parents never brought it up and would probably not think a genetic test was necessary.

My parents didn't do a genetic test of me to make sure that I was their child. And I am. Most parents don't do that.

I don't have a doubt in my mind that Dianne is being honest that it's my child.

There are countless ways one can overspend money just to be sure of something. Doesn't mean we have to live in fear and spend a ton of money in every situation.

Kristine, did you do a DNA test of your baby? How much did it cost?

BTW, Dianne was a bit offended when I brought up the DNA test last time.

[Winston]

Winston, have you ever heard of "arrears?" Just so you know, "arrears" is not a kinky sex game or a pair of buttless chaps. Child support arrears can add up to almost a half a million dollars for a man of average salary. It can be very crippling. Believe, me, $300.00 is NOTHING for genetic testing. Please keep in mind, you have an education and there is demonstrated proof that you have earning ability. Your support amount would likely be based on your potential earnings rather than your actual earnings. Your bohemian lifestyle would be shattered by this. Please, Winston, get the genetic testing, and if positive paternity is determined, marry the girl or get custody of that child. Have you ever heard the saying "it's cheaper to keep her?" It's true, Winston. The family courts in most places will absolutely butt rape you beyond anything that you would pay as a custodial father (I think that is why they called it "arrears" -how shamelessly sadistic of them!). They can, and often do take half of your income, and accrue arrears for every child. Child support arrears make college debt, auto and home loans look like an electric bill during springtime.

W: But you forget, I'm not living in the US. The laws are much simpler in the Philippines and allow poor people to get by. You act as though you assume that Dianne will try to take advantage of me. She's not like that.

[sharpbws]

Brad, you are being paranoid again and blowing things out of proportion. No my parents never brought it up and would probably not think a genetic test was necessary.

I'm saying that your parents have given you money over the past 5 years for many frivilous reasons. If you asked them for $300 for a DNA test to insure that you are the father of this child, I'm sure they'd gladly give you the money.

I don't have a doubt in my mind that Dianne is being honest that it's my child.

If I had a dollar for every man that said that and was later proven wrong, I'd be a multi-millionaire.

Doesn't mean we have to live in fear and spend a ton of money in every situation.

Spending $300 now before assuming the responsibility of spending thousands of dollars in child and spousal support over the next 21 years doesn't seem to me like living in fear. It seems like a wise and prudent action to take, especially with Dianne's background as a bar girl in Angeles City.

BTW, Dianne was a bit offended when I brought up the DNA test last time.

Realizing the potential that she might have to raise a baby without financial help of a father if you were not shown to be the parent would offend most girls in her circumstances. For her, much better for you to assume you are the father; whether you are or aren't.

[KristineTheStrawberryGirl]

Winston, have you ever heard of "arrears?" Just so you know, "arrears" is not a kinky sex game or a pair of buttless chaps. Child support arrears can add up to almost a half a million dollars for a man of average salary. It can be very crippling. Believe, me, $300.00 is NOTHING for genetic testing. Please keep in mind, you have an education and there is demonstrated proof that you have earning ability. Your support amount would likely be based on your potential earnings rather than your actual earnings. Your bohemian lifestyle would be shattered by this. Please, Winston, get the genetic testing, and if positive paternity is determined, marry the girl or get custody of that child. Have you ever heard the saying "it's cheaper to keep her?" It's true, Winston. The family courts in most places will absolutely butt rape you beyond anything that you would pay as a custodial father (I think that is why they called it "arrears" -how shamelessly sadistic of them!). They can, and often do take half of your income, and accrue arrears for every child. Child support arrears make college debt, auto and home loans look like an electric bill during springtime.

W: But you forget, I'm not living in the US. The laws are much simpler in the Philippines and allow poor people to get by. You act as though you assume that Dianne will try to take advantage of me. She's not like that.

Winston, I do not "forget that you are not in the USA." It does not matter that you are not in the USA. If you make babies with women abroad, the USA has a consortium agreement to enforce child support, and the support is based on USA standards, not Filipino standards. It is clear that you are not familiar with "the laws," Winston. I have no attitude or opinion about whether Dianne will take advantage of you. I simply have some knowledge about "the laws" because this happens to be my profession. I am not at liberty to give you legal advice, but I can provide you with basic information and resources. Unfortunately, you choose to be naive and sentimental. It is your choice, Winston.

[KristineTheStrawberryGirl]

I would but I heard the costs for genetic testing are like $300 or $400!

My parents didn't do a genetic test of me to make sure that I was their child. And I am. Most parents don't do that.

I don't have a doubt in my mind that Dianne is being honest that it's my child.

There are countless ways one can overspend money just to be sure of something. Doesn't mean we have to live in fear and spend a ton of money in every situation.

Kristine, did you do a DNA test of your baby? How much did it cost?

BTW, Dianne was a bit offended when I brought up the DNA test last time.

My child was conceived out of marriage. It's a completely different legal situation. In some ways, it is not fair, I understand, but the family courts make decisions based on what they believe to be best for the child. If it would turn out that say, hypothetically, I had an affair, we divorced and a genetic test would rule out my husband as biological father, there is a chance that non-paternity would be established by the courts. However, not necessarily. Sometimes, even if the man is proven not to be the biological father, a judgement will rule him as a legal father. Similar may be true if you sign a paternity declaration, remain in the child's life, and then suddenly find out that you are not the father.

She has no reason to be offended, and if she is that certain you are the father, she has nothing to worry about. I know that I certainly would not worry if my son and husband did genetic testing to determine paternity. As far as most parents "not getting genetic testing." That is utter BS, and only true when children are conceived within marriage. If you look at any case where a child is conceived outside of marriage, and the woman names a certain man a father, he usually demands genetic testing.

Nobody is being paranoid, Winston. Child support is no joke, and it makes a 300.00 genetic test look like free popcorn.

[KristineTheStrawberryGirl]

Spending $300 now before assuming the responsibility of spending thousands of dollars in child and spousal support over the next 21 years doesn't seem to me like living in fear. It seems like a wise and prudent action to take, especially with Dianne's background as a bar girl in Angeles City.

One bit of good news is that spousal support is rarely ordered these days, except when the woman is determined too old or unable to work for one reason or another. The woman gets half of the assets, but ongoing spousal support .. you see less and less of it every day. However, I probably should shut up because there are always exceptions!