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Do you find it really hard being a loner?

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Do you find it really hard being a loner?

Postby Temprano26 » September 26th, 2013, 3:33 pm

Being a loner throughout life has taught me to value every relationship that I have. I can value my alone time more when I feel I have strong connections to people.

Those with deep souls and real interests value their time by themselves. I find the cliquish people to be the most insecure because they always need to cling to a group of friends. These people cannot make eye contact with me because they are afraid of the people outside their social circle. They are afraid of being a loner like I am the same way we see poor people on the street and are afraid of falling through the cracks.

When I go places alone people get suspicious of me for no reason other than their preconceived notions that they got from the media. People seem to be engineered to be afraid of strangers. It is sad that a lone man cannot go out and naturally connect with other human beings.
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Postby momopi » September 26th, 2013, 6:24 pm

From extrovert's perspective, introverts who avoid groups and prefer the company of few close friends are "cliquish". Real extroverts gain energy from interaction with larger groups of people, and being cliquish limits their access to that energy.

Here is an example of a group of gregarious people being energized:

Image


An introvert who prefers to be alone or with a small clique, would probably lose energy quickly through interaction with a group that size. You can identify such people with their tendency to speak negatively whenever they see pictures/groups like that, because they simply don't fit in.

Taiwanese, for example, are stereotyped as shy extroverts. Shy folks don't meet as many people and thus the extroverts do not maximize their opportunity to be energized. But suppose if the Taiwanese shy extrovert was "less shy", that would mean the group size will become bigger, making it even more difficult for an introvert to fit in. We can observe this with some Asian American associations, such as the one depicted in the photo above.
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Postby Mr S » October 10th, 2013, 12:12 pm

These articles explain why Introverts act the way they do. I really dislike the over judgmental attitude that extroverts have against introversion type personalities. In today's Western society Introverts have to constantly battle it out with extroverts in everyday life activities, it becomes exhausting to us. I get tired of always having to justify my personality and viewpoints to extroverts. As an adult I've never been capable with having close extroverted friends, only with introverted types can I feel comfortable being around beyond casual friendship. I don't think I could ever get in a long term relationship with an extrovert female, she would slowly drive me crazy. I've discovered that it's much easier for a Westerner to be an Introvert in Asia than in Western society from what I have observed and experienced. Being an introvert seriously decreases ones dating capabilities, especially in Western countries but at least we can deal with the loneliness better than extroverts. I've come to terms with this possible inevitability in life.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/08/2 ... 21431.html

23 Signs You're Secretly An Introvert

Think you can spot an introvert in a crowd? Think again. Although the stereotypical introvert may be the one at the party who's hanging out alone by the food table fiddling with an iPhone, the "social butterfly" can just as easily have an introverted personality.

"Spotting the introvert can be harder than finding Waldo," Sophia Dembling, author of "The Introvert's Way: Living a Quiet Life in a Noisy World," tells The Huffington Post. "A lot of introverts can pass as extroverts."

People are frequently unaware that they’re introverts -– especially if they’re not shy -- because they may not realize that being an introvert is about more than just cultivating time alone. Instead, it can be more instructive to pay attention to whether they're losing or gaining energy from being around others, even if the company of friends gives them pleasure.

“Introversion is a basic temperament, so the social aspect -- which is what people focus on -- is really a small part of being an introvert," Dr. Marti Olsen Laney, psychotherapist and author of "The Introvert Advantage," said in a Mensa discussion. "It affects everything in your life.â€￾

Despite the growing conversation around introversion, it remains a frequently misunderstood personality trait. As recently as 2010, the American Psychiatric Association even considered classifying "introverted personality" as a disorder by listing it in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual (DSM-5), a manual used to diagnose mental illness.

But more and more introverts are speaking out about what it really means to be a "quiet" type. Not sure if you're an innie or an outie? See if any of these 23 telltale signs of introversion apply to you.

1. You find small talk incredibly cumbersome.

Introverts are notoriously small talk-phobic, as they find idle chatter to be a source of anxiety, or at least annoyance. For many quiet types, chitchat can feel disingenuous.

“Let's clear one thing up: Introverts do not hate small talk because we dislike people," Laurie Helgoe writes in "Introvert Power: Why Your Inner Life Is Your Hidden Strength." "We hate small talk because we hate the barrier it creates between people.â€￾

2. You go to parties -– but not to meet people.

If you're an introvert, you may sometimes enjoy going to parties, but chances are, you're not going because you're excited to meet new people. At a party, most introverts would rather spend time with people they already know and feel comfortable around. If you happen to meet a new person that you connect with, great -- but meeting people is rarely the goal.

3. You often feel alone in a crowd.

Ever feel like an outsider in the middle of social gatherings and group activities, even with people you know?

"If you tend to find yourself feeling alone in a crowd, you might be an introvert," says Dembling. "We might let friends or activities pick us, rather than extending our own invitations."

4. Networking makes you feel like a phony.

Networking (read: small-talk with the end goal of advancing your career) can feel particularly disingenuous for introverts, who crave authenticity in their interactions.

"Networking is stressful if we do it in the ways that are stressful to us," Dembling says, advising introverts to network in small, intimate groups rather than at large mixers.

5. You've been called "too intense."

Do you have a penchant for philosophical conversations and a love of thought-provoking books and movies? If so, you're a textbook introvert.

"Introverts like to jump into the deep end," says Dembling.

6. You're easily distracted.

While extroverts tend to get bored easily when they don't have enough to do, introverts have the opposite problem -- they get easily distracted and overwhelmed in environments with an excess of stimulation.

"Extroverts are commonly found to be more easily bored than introverts on monotonous tasks, probably because they require and thrive on high levels of stimulation," Clark University researchers wrote in a paper published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology. "In contrast, introverts are more easily distracted than extroverts and, hence, prefer relatively unstimulating environments."

7. Downtime doesn’t feel unproductive to you.

One of the most fundamental characteristics of introverts is that they need time alone to recharge their batteries. Whereas an extrovert might get bored or antsy spending a day at home alone with tea and a stack of magazines, this sort of down time feels necessary and satisfying to an introvert.

8. Giving a talk in front of 500 people is less stressful than having to mingle with those people afterwards.

Introverts can be excellent leaders and public speakers -- and although they're stereotyped as being the shrinking violet, they don't necessarily shy away from the spotlight. Performers like Lady Gaga, Christina Aguilera and Emma Watson all identify as introverts, and an estimated 40 percent of CEOs have introverted personalities. Instead, an introvert might struggle more with meeting and greeting large groups of people on an individual basis.

9. When you get on the subway, you sit at the end of the bench -– not in the middle.

Whenever possible, introverts tend to avoid being surrounded by people on all sides.

"We're likely to sit in places where we can get away when we're ready to -- easily," says Dembling. "When I go to the theater, I want the aisle seat or the back seat."

10. You start to shut down after you’ve been active for too long.

Do you start to get tired and unresponsive after you've been out and about for too long? It's likely because you’re trying to conserve energy. Everything introverts do in the outside world causes them to expend energy, after which they'll need to go back and replenish their stores in a quiet environment, says Dembling. Short of a quiet place to go, many introverts will resort to zoning out.

11. You're in a relationship with an extrovert.

It's true that opposites attract, and introverts frequently gravitate towards outgoing extroverts who encourage them to have fun and not take themselves too seriously.

"Introverts are sometimes drawn to extroverts because they like being able to ride their 'fun bubble,'" Dembling says.

12. You'd rather be an expert at one thing than try to do everything.

The dominant brain pathways introverts use is one that allows you to focus and think about things for a while, so they’re geared toward intense study and developing expertise, according to Olsen Laney.

13. You actively avoid any shows that might involve audience participation.

Because really, is anything more terrifying?

14. You screen all your calls -- even from friends.

You may not pick up your phone even from people you like, but you’ll call them back as soon as you’re mentally prepared and have gathered the energy for the conversation.

"To me, a ringing phone is like having somebody jump out of a closet and go 'BOO!,'" says Dembling. "I do like having a long, nice phone call with a friend -- as long as it's not jumping out of the sky at me."

15. You notice details that others don't.

The upside of being overwhelmed by too much stimuli is that introverts often have a keen eye for detail, noticing things that may escape others around them. Research has found that introverts exhibit increased brain activity when processing visual information, as compared to extroverts.

16. You have a constantly running inner monologue.

“Extroverts don’t have the same internal talking as we do,â€￾ says Olsen Laney. “Most introverts need to think first and talk later."

17. You have low blood pressure.

A 2006 Japanese study found that introverts tend to have lower blood pressure than their extroverted counterparts.

18. You’ve been called an “old soulâ€￾ -– since your 20s.

Introverts observe and take in a lot of information, and they think before they speak, leading them to appear wise to others.

"Introverts tend to think hard and be analytical," says Dembling. "That can make them seem wise."

19. You don't feel "high" from your surroundings

Neurochemically speaking, things like huge parties just aren’t your thing. Extroverts and introverts differ significantly in how their brains process experiences through "reward" centers.

Researchers demonstrated this phenomenon by giving Ritalin -- the ADHD drug that stimulates dopamine production in the brain -- to introverted and extroverted college students. They found that extroverts were more likely to associate the feeling of euphoria achieved by the rush of dopamine with the environment they were in. Introverts, by contrast, did not connect the feeling of reward to their surroundings. The study "suggests that introverts have a fundamental difference in how strongly they process rewards from their environment, with the brains of introverts weighing internal cues more strongly than external motivational and reward cues," explained LiveScience's Tia Ghose.

20. You look at the big picture.

When describing the way that introverts think, Jung explained that they're more interested in ideas and the big picture rather than facts and details. Of course, many introverts excel in detail-oriented tasks -- but they often have a mind for more abstract concepts as well.

"Introverts do really enjoy abstract discussion," says Dembling.

21. You’ve been told to “come out of your shell.â€￾

Many introverted children come to believe that there's something "wrong" with them if they're naturally less outspoken and assertive than their peers. Introverted adults often say that as children, they were told to come out of their shells or participate more in class.

22. You’re a writer.

Introverts are often better at communicating in writing than in person, and many are drawn to the solitary, creative profession of writing. Most introverts -- like "Harry Potter" author J.K. Rowling -- say that they feel most creatively charged when they have time to be alone with their thoughts.

23. You alternate between phases of work and solitude, and periods of social activity.

Introverts can move around their introverted “set pointâ€￾ which determines how they need to balance solitude with social activity. But when they move too much -- possibly by over-exerting themselves with too much socializing and busyness -- they get stressed and need to come back to themselves, according Olsen Laney. This may manifest as going through periods of heightened social activity, and then balancing it out with a period of inwardness and solitude.

"There's a recovery point that seems to be correlated with how much interaction you've done," says Dembling. "We all have our own private cycles."

6 Things You Thought Wrong About Introverts

If common stereotypes have anything to say on the matter, it's that introverts are socially awkward loners who abhor large crowds and don't like people very much. An introvert may not be a particularly friendly or happy person, but hey, at least they're smarter and more creative than the average extrovert.

Despite comprising an estimated one-third of the general population, introversion may be one of the most frequently misunderstood personality traits. But the silent revolution of introverts -- catapulted into the spotlight largely by the work of Susan Cain, author of Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can't Stop Talking -- is shedding light on the experience of introverts living in a culture that tends to value extroverted qualities like assertiveness and outspokenness over solitude and quiet contemplation.

Much of the problem stems from the lack of a simple distinction between introversion and extroversion -- the difference is far more complex than being shy versus outgoing, according to Sophia Dembling, author of The Introvert's Way: Living a Quiet Life in a Noisy World. The introversion/extroversion distinction has its roots in Jungian psychology, which views extroverts as being more naturally oriented towards the outside world, and introverts more focused on their own inner world.

“The description that introverts seem to relate most strongly to is the idea that Jung presented, that introverts are drained of energy by interaction, and gain energy in solitude and quiet, whereas extroverts gain energy in social situations with interaction," Dembling tells The Huffington Post. "It seems to be most strongly an energy thing –- where you get your energy and what takes it out of you.â€￾

If you're an introvert, you might be used to feeling misunderstood (many introvert children are criticized for not speaking up at school, and grow up being told to "come out of their shells") and having your actions (or inaction) misinterpreted. And if you're an extrovert, there's a good chance that you have a least a few misconceptions about those mysterious quiet types in your life. Scroll through the list below for six of the most common false assumptions about introverts -- and why they're wrong.

1. All introverts are shy -- and all shy people are introverts.

Shyness is so often confused with introversion that the two words are frequently used interchangeably -- but in fact, they're remarkably different traits. As Susan Cain pointed out in a Psychology Today blog, Bill Gates is introverted but not shy: He's quiet and bookish, but isn't bothered by what other people think of him.

Whereas introversion, as Dembling explains, is commonly defined as recharging and gaining energy through alone time, shyness has more to do with discomfort and anxiety in situations involving social interaction. Many introverts aren't shy; they may feel confident and at ease around people, but simply require more alone time to balance out the energy they expend in social situations. Similarly, an extrovert may seek the company of others but feel insecure or uncomfortable in groups.

“The number-one misconception about introversion is that it’s about shyness,â€￾ says Dembling. “The best distinction I’ve heard comes from a neuroscientist who studies shyness. He said, 'Shyness is a behavior -– it’s being fearful in a social situation. Whereas introversion is a motivation. It’s how much you want and need to be in those interactions.’"

2. Introverts don't like to be around people.

Although introverts do generally need -- and enjoy -- more solitude than their extroverted counterparts, the idea that introverts are antisocial or don't want the company of others is completely false. They just tend to enjoy social interaction in a different way than extroverts do.

“There are a lot of negative labels placed on introverts -- socially anxious, don’t like people, judgmental (because we sit quietly)," says Dembling. "Introverts may prefer one-on-one interaction ... we might enjoy large parties but want to sit and watch the action from the sidelines. Extroverts may interpret this as not wanting to have fun, but this observation is fun for an introvert."

Introversion shouldn't be confused with misanthropy -- introverts do like people, but they typically favor quality over quantity in their relationships, choosing to focus on creating a smaller circle of close friends rather than a large network of acquaintances.

“I like to say that we may like people more than extroverts because we take the time to get to know them ... It’s just a completely different style,â€￾ says Dembling.

3. Introverts don't make good leaders or public speakers.

Many introverts enjoy and excel in roles that involve leading others, speaking publicly, and being in the spotlight. Bill Gates, Abraham Lincoln, Gandhi and countless other leaders through history have been classified as introverts. These leaders may also foster a better team environment, as research has shown they might work better in groups than extroverts do. And according to USA Today, roughly four in 10 top executives test as introverts.

Research has found that individuals of both personality types can be well-suited to leadership and sales roles.

"The good news ... is that in some sense we are all born to sell and equipped to lead," writes author Daniel Pink in a Washington Post blog. "And that means a hidden but urgent challenge for organizations of every kind is to shatter the stereotype of who’s an effective leader."

And when it comes to public speaking, introverts aren't the shrinking violets they're often thought to be, and they might actually have the upper hand over extroverts. Because introverts focus on preparing projects and thinking things through thoroughly before acting, they can be excellent speakers, says Dembling. Susan Cain's charismatically delivered TED talk on the power of introverts, for instance, was one of the fastest TED videos ever to reach one million views -- and it's just one of countless examples.

4. Introverts have more negative personalities.

Because they actually like being alone, introverts are sometimes stereotyped as having more depressive or negative-slanting personalities. This misconception likely stems from the fact that extroverts -- who gain their energy from social interaction -- might feel sad when they don't spend enough time with people, Dembling says.

"When extroverts are in an introverted place for too long, spending time alone or being quiet, they can report feeling sad and depressed," says Dembling. “Because they feel sad when they’re alone, maybe they therefore think we feel sad when we’ve been alone. That misconception is coming from a genuine concern, but it’s more putting their feelings on us.â€￾

Most introverts don't connect solitude with loneliness, unless it becomes excessive. That being said, although introverts do not innately have more depressive personalities, they do tend to spend more time thinking and analyzing -- and if this turns to ruminating, it could potentially lead to depression.

"There’s a definite link between rumination and depression," says Dembling. "Because introverts do like thinking and being alone, we need to keep ourselves in check.â€￾

5. Introverts are more intellectual or creative than extroverts.

Many of the most celebrated artists and thinkers throughout history -- including Albert Einstein, Marcel Proust and Charles Darwin -- were thought to be quiet types. Introverts are sometimes touted as being "more intelligent, more reflective, more independent, more level-headed, more refined, and more sensitive," as Jonathan Rauch writes in an Atlantic article, "Caring For Your Introvert." But before any quiet types climb atop an intellectual high horse, it's important to note being an introvert doesn't innately make you a loftier, or more innovative, thinker. Extroverts are, of course, often incredibly intelligent and creative; there's just a good chance that their best ideas happen while they're in a more reflective, or introverted, mindset.

“Creativity occurs in an introverted space … but that doesn’t mean we’ve cornered the market on it," says Dembling. "Without both introverts and extroverts, things wouldn’t get done. We’ve got one person thinking it through and one person going out and slaying the dragon.â€￾

6. It's easy to tell whether someone is introverted or extroverted.

Many introverts could easily go out to a cocktail party and talk up everyone in the room -- and they may enjoy themselves doing it. But at the end of the day, they'll look forward to restoring their energy by coming home and reading in bed with a cup of tea. Given our culture's bias towards extroverted personality traits, many introverts have become accustomed to being the wolf in sheep's clothing -- behaving like an extrovert in social situations, and perhaps acting more outspoken and gregarious than they feel on the inside. Or they may enjoy the social interaction and attention, but later crave time alone to recover.

“Most introverts are very good at behaving like extroverts," says Dembling. "A lot of us are out there behaving as extroverts ... but then we have to shut it down. I call it my ‘dog and pony show.’ But then you have to be quiet and regain your energy for the next time. The long I’m out there putting on the show, the longer I need to recuperate.â€￾

"Introverts really do like people and we like socializing," Dembling says. "We just like it in different ways than extroverts."
"The object of life is not to be on the side of the majority but to escape finding oneself in the ranks of the insane." Marcus Aurelius, Roman Emperor and stoic philosopher, 121-180 A.D.
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Postby Winston » October 11th, 2013, 12:04 pm

That article is one sided with false assumptions.

1. First, most people are somewhere in between extrovert and introvert. They do not fit into such black and white categories.

2. Second, it falsely assumes that if you just go out there and be social, then everyone will be social with you too, as if it were easy to be social in America and meet lots of new people. That just isn't true. It doesn't take into account that Americans don't talk to strangers outside their clique and are not comfortable meeting new people, because they are programmed to be paranoid of strangers and see them as potential threats and enemies. They are not as social as in the movies. That might be true in most European countries, where it's easy to go out and be social. But not in the US. No way.

3. It claims that most people are extroverts, at least two-thirds. If that's so, then 2/3 of Americans would be very open and social with strangers. But we all know that that's not true. Show me a ton of extroverts in America who are very open and relaxed toward strangers socially (not for business purposes). Where are they?

Yet most Americans have no inner life either, so they aren't introverts. So what are they then? Closed, cliquish, paranoid extroverts?

The same goes for Taiwanese. Momopi calls them "shy extroverts" probably because I labeled them as such. That may be more accurate. But either way, it doesn't fit into the assumptions of that long article.

I'm going to try to post my comments into that Huffington Post article's comments section.
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Postby jamesbond » October 11th, 2013, 12:13 pm

Winston wrote:Yet most Americans have no inner life either, so they aren't introverts. So what are they then? Closed, cliquish, paranoid extroverts?


That's a good way to describe a lot of americans, closed, cliquish, paranoid extroverts! Your right, most Americans don't like meeting new people, they just want to stay friends with the people they already know.

Talking to strangers in the USA is considered taboo and women think of guys who talk to them as "creepy." :shock:
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Postby Teal Lantern » October 11th, 2013, 12:21 pm

@ Mr S: Good find. 8)
@ momopi: That pic dropped my energy level just looking at it. :lol:
не поглеждай назад. 8)

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Postby Banano » October 11th, 2013, 12:25 pm

70% extroverts??

Every time I use public transport I see people reading books, facebooking,on smartphone,ipad/ipodding and everyone avoids eye contact. It is the same on the street, malls...

How is that possible if most of them are 'social butterflies'?
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Postby Winston » October 11th, 2013, 12:57 pm

Teal Lantern wrote:@ Mr S: Good find. 8)
@ momopi: That pic dropped my energy level just looking at it. :lol:


LOL Nothing wrong with a large group of friendly people. The problem is that to fit into such a large group, you have to be very narrow, conformist, in the box, non-controversial and politically correct. You can't be too honest, genuine or truthful amidst such groups. I'm sure even Momopi knows that. You also have to act positive and lighthearted and pretend that everything is great all the time. I can put up the act, and pretend that I'm simple and stupid, but not for a long time.
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Postby Jeremy » October 11th, 2013, 3:13 pm

Not really. I seem to need much less social interaction than most people.

What bothers me is that you need a social circle to date in America.
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Postby SilverEnergy » October 11th, 2013, 5:12 pm

It's not hard if you use the lonely time to focus on your talents and gifts.

Many people who run the computer industry were introverts.

Do you think that Bill Gates and Mark Zuckerberg were the most extroverted people?(waits for anti-jew people to start talking)

No they weren't, they used their time alone to develop software and an internet social networking website.(waits for someone to start talking about the Illuminati)

Once you make your money, you can party when you want.

Time is something you can't replace and that's why you need to use the free time you have wisely.

When you're lonely and alone, use that time to gain more knowledge to improve yourself and learn more skills and heck, even take over the world.

You can learn how to invest in real estate, learn how to program computers, learn how to start a business, start networking with other aspiring entrepreneurs, start joining real estate mentor groups, learn how to write film screenplays, learn how to play poker, develop a spiritual life.

Loneliness doesn't have to be a negative thing.

Turn it into something positive.

The people who you see that are extroverted, popular and partying all the time, most of these people will never be nothing more than wage slaves and conformists.

God created you and loves you, don't be afraid to ask God what he wants you to do despite all the anti-God and anti-Jesus people on this website.

Somewhere out there, there are a group of shy, introverted computer nerds in college as we speak who will become billionaires and who are currently being ignored by all women.......the same women who only sleep with the popular frat guys and jocks.

These same computer nerds are going to become the bosses of the alpha males at their colleges.............will this be you?
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Postby deasil875 » October 11th, 2013, 7:46 pm

momopi wrote:Here is an example of a group of gregarious people being energized:

Image


Ewwwww.
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Postby Winston » January 3rd, 2014, 2:46 pm

momopi wrote:From extrovert's perspective, introverts who avoid groups and prefer the company of few close friends are "cliquish". Real extroverts gain energy from interaction with larger groups of people, and being cliquish limits their access to that energy.

Here is an example of a group of gregarious people being energized:

Image


But Momopi, the people in the photo above are only social there because it's a social event. If those people went out in public alone, or with friends, they would NOT talk to strangers, because in America, people don't talk to strangers unless it's for business. The vibe and flow out in public in America is "do your thing but mind your own business". Those people are conformist because they are only social in appropriate places like the picnic or social event they are at. They aren't open enough to talk to strangers, nor do they think outside the box. They are just typical Asians in America. I've met plenty of Asians like those in the photo above.

There are many introverts who act like extroverts but are secretly introverts and feel drained by others. In America, even extroverts don't talk to strangers. Only older people do. But not the people of the age of those in the photo.

Location also matters too. For example, in Russia I am far more extroverted because I feel far more alive and happy and do not feel insecure about myself. But in the US, I don't fit in and don't like acting fake and don't vibe with cliquish conformists. And I sense the soullessness in people around me too, who are highly judgmental. Thus, I don't feel extroverted in America because the vibe and energy feels very oppressive and repressive, and not in my element or wavelength, and can't be myself. So location matters as well.

Great geniuses throughout history are almost always loners in childhood. When you are on a deeper wavelength, it's hard to connect with others. Dumber people have an easier time getting along with others.
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Postby Winston » January 3rd, 2014, 2:56 pm

Hi all,
You know, I came back to Las Vegas just before Christmas and have enjoyed the time alone here. I've realized that being alone in a house is a wonderfully peaceful experience. There is no one to tell you what to do, criticize you, judge you, make you feel insecure, tell you that there's something wrong with you, argue with you, distract you, bother you, drain your energy, or steal your attention. It's like complete and total peace, which few people can appreciate. There's a great beauty in it, but you have to be a deep and spiritual person to appreciate it. Otherwise, the loneliness will make you unhappy.

What's amazing is that when I was younger, I could not appreciate being alone for too long. I'd get lonely and depressed. It was a form of suffering. But now, with a richer spirit, philosophical mind, deep and liberated soul, I can appreciate and see the beauty of it. It's quite amazing beyond words. I can understand now why people sometimes become hermits. Sure, I can sense the feeling of loneliness too, but it's minimized and doesn't overtake me like it would when I was younger. The beauty of the peace of being alone sort of "drowns out" the loneliness. Any of you notice this too?

It's kind of like how when I was acting on stage long ago, every time I was about to go out on stage, I'd feel nervous. But the excitement of being there sort of drowned out the fear of being on stage. If you love acting, that's how it is.

Plus, if you are a really deep person, your own thoughts are rich and amusing enough to keep you company. Or they preoccupy you so much that you are too absorbed in deep thought to be lonely. A typical extrovert could never understand or relate to that of course.

In any case, the significance of this is that it is wonderful to realize that you can conquer something like loneliness, which is not easy at all and nearly as difficult to conquer as fear. It's empowering to know that you can have power over such a common emotion that usually overtakes you. In that sense it's a great psychological and spiritual accomplishment.
Last edited by Winston on January 9th, 2014, 9:51 am, edited 2 times in total.
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Postby Teal Lantern » January 3rd, 2014, 5:13 pm

Winston wrote:Hi all,
You know, I came back to Las Vegas just before Christmas and have enjoyed the time alone here. I've realized that being alone in a house is a wonderfully peaceful experience. There is no one to tell you what to do, criticize you, judge you, make you feel insecure, tell you that there's something wrong with you, argue with you, distract you, bother you, drain your energy, or steal your attention. It's like complete and total peace, which few people can appreciate. There's a great beauty in it, but you have to be a deep and spiritual person to appreciate it. Otherwise, the loneliness will make you unhappy.


You'd better stop that before you get used to it. :D
Next thing you know, you'll be refusing to let a pretty female "leave a few things" at your place and eventually "move in, just for a little while".
не поглеждай назад. 8)

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Postby C.J. » January 3rd, 2014, 6:22 pm

I don't categorize myself as JUST an ext or int anymore. It's too general.

For example, I was a depressed shy guy since middle school, but now I get so energetic, I can't help BUT to be overly happy/excited/bouncy/exuberant/enthusiastic, and pretty social! Anyone who doesn't know me, would think I was a talkative party animal who'd be the first to pop drugs at a rave. But that's why people are so stupid. :P

What de-energizes me, is when people get out of control and go completely demonic FOR NO REASON. But that just means I don't hang out with THEM anymore.

I feel good when I'm alone or with family. But family is pretty boring, because they HAVE no energy. So I hang out alone, because my fam is boring, and friends are usually busy being stupid somewhere. So I'm my own BFF! I'm on the awesome bus, and if you don't wanna get on, YOUR LOSS! :lol:

I like programming, because it exercises my mental muscle, and I like testing my limits.

So I'm really a mad scientist! :D
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